I'm Coming All The Way Live From The 816

"I met her a backyard block party by the bar
And she kept looking at me like she knew who I was
She was buzzin' all over me,
She was buzzin' all over me,
She was buzzin' all over me like she was in love..."

I've spent the entire day watching Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares... the entire season. I've got about 2 1/2 episodes to go, but yes I will finish them tonight.

I have been in love with Gordon since the first season of Hell's Kitchen aired here. He's like the Simon Cowell of food... yes, I get that they're both middle aged, British, handsome men... but what I mean is that they both have my undying respect because they tell it how it is. They both are extreemly successful at what they do because of their honesty, bluntness and full throttle desire to get what they want.

I respect that greatly.

Talked to my friend Heather today. She's my oldest friend. I remember the day that we became friends. It was 1st grade and Heather kept trying to ask me something and I kept saying "what?" Because I couldn't hear her... then Mrs. Clark said [for Heather] "Are you going to Girl Scouts after school?!" LOL She was irritated.

And that's how I became best friends with Heather Bellinder and how I got into Girl Scouts...

Heather and I have kept in contact ever since 1st grade and on through when I moved to Kansas City.

Next month Heather is getting married.

I am so happy for her, I was a little late on asking if I could DJ her wedding... so I'm actually playing a more important role... I'll be the photographer.

I am honored to be doing this for my oldest friend. There's hardly a childhood memory that doesn't have her in it. Her family graciously welcomed me into their own family. She was the first person to spend the night at my house and the only reason why I stayed in Wamego as long as I did.

I wish that I could afford to give Heather something greater than my photography skills as a wedding gift. This is one of those moments where I wish I would have worked harder when I was 18 to become a singer and I could give Heather the proper wedding and honeymoon that she deserves.

Heather is the most genuine person that I know. She's truly grounded. She's not fazed by bright lights, Hollywood signs, celeb weeklys... she probably doesn't even care about all that. She cares about what's real in this life. Her fiance, her actual life, her mother, father, brother, sister... all her cousins... etc. She cares about that stuff...

It amazes me really.

I mean, I love my Mama, my Daddy, Mom, Pam, Bella, Jennifer... but that's about it. (I mean, no offense to my other friends; Rae, Gemma, Kristi, etc... I am strictly speaking family here. Take no offense to this.) I don't have a whole load of family. I don't come from a large family. I come from a confusing and fucked up one... but not a big one.

I reckon that's for the better.

Back to my original point: Heather is a honest person and I truly admire her. She loves her family and sticks by them... Meanwhile, I was terrified to tell my family that I was going to LA to do my record... I'm terrified that they'll roll their eyes and won't support me in my dreams.

Speaking of which -- Gemma and I were just talking about this the other day... I got down the other day about things I refuse to discuss for all to see, and Gemma was kind enough to point out that I have made it a lot farther than others have tried to.

I have management. I have a producer. I have fans. I have people who love me and are willing to invest their time and money in what I can do.

To me? I have been pretty successful.

Am I successful enough? No... of course not. When will I be successful enough?

I'll let you know.

xoxox

To be continued.