Wednesday, April 30, 2008

TWO WEEKS FROM TODAY!

"I've acted out my life in stages,
With 8,121 people watching...
But we're alone now,
And I'm singing my song for you..."

Tina -- yesterday's song was off the Maroon album by Barenaked Ladies, it's called "Humor of the Situation". Great album, go download it.

So about the car situation, I have to drive Jennifer everywhere now for fear of her getting pulled over -- the other day in the mail she got 3 warrants for not showing to her court date -- which she has a lawyer for but apparently he didn't do his job very well -- if she gets pulled over it'll cost $2400 to get her out.

It'll be all taken care of tomorrow since this was his fault.

So... NKOTB is touring again -- I think they have successfully made the shittiest tour list evar.

Sat 9/20/08 Montreal, Quebec
Sun 9/21/08 Toronto, ON
Tue 9/23/08 East Rutherford, NJ
Wed 9/24/08 Uniondale, NY
Fri 9/26/08 Boston, MA
Sat 9/27/08 Atlantic City, NJ
Sat 10/4/08 Chicago, IL

I understand that they're old as fucking dirt, but c'mon!!! They're not even doing any West Coast dates! Not that I mind, I'm going to Chicago!

;-)

As the title states, two weeks from today I'm going to LA! I can't wait! I'm more than excited can be! I still have to get my lyrics in order and there's just tons I have to do before I go. Fortunately, I still have two weeks.

Pic of the Day:

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Michael Buble and I, Heaven...

xoxox

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Humor Of The Situation (15)

"When you walked in, I said with a grin,
That 'we were just talking about you',
We all had to lie, because you would cry,
If you knew were laughing at you..."

Sorry for the delay in my blogs... I didn't blog like I should have when I was in Omaha.

Omaha was great, it was really nice to see Tina and we got a great car. We got an 09 Mitsu------bishi(!) Galant and I loveeeeeed it. I want one.

We had a great time up there and got a bit tipsy... not drunk tho... :-(

Michael was incredible. I love that there was all this anticipation... you know, I know what kind of performer Justin is, I've seen him a hundred times, but I've never seen Michael before and it was -- breathtaking to say the least.

I cried at the end... wow, I want to cry thinking about it. He was great. I want to see him again! Can't wait til next tour!!!

:-)

I've been busy nonstop since we got home and I just now got a second to update, my apologies. I'm only going to be busier. I have to take Jennifer to work from now on -- tell you about it later -- and I have to prepare for LA.

It's only two weeks tomorrow!! AH! I'm still coming out of my skin!!

Wow, I'm tired. I might go nap in the car. Or watch a movie. Yaa, I'll do that.

Pic of the Day:

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Everyone has put their 2 cents in and so I reckon I should too.

I think that at 15. yes Miley is too young to be posing for photos like this. Yes, she's a very beautiful girl... but for Annie to ask her to take off her clothes (regardless of her being covered by a big blanket or not) is wrong. This is child porn.

She is JUST A GIRL. She's only 15 years old and this is innapropriate. Where were her handlers? I can't believe that her parent's would let their daughter (DISNEY DAUGHTER!) take off her clothes for cameras.

You hear me clucking?

But, my opinion and everyone elses don't matter -- it was all their decision and they're the ones who have to sleep at night.

xoxox

Friday, April 25, 2008

More Than Your Heart Can Take (19)

"I'm taking my heart and I'm setting it free
And baby now you're just another song to me
And the edge of your sword isn't sharp enough for me to bleed..."

Oh, yesterday was stressful and eventful. Thankfully it's over now and I'm full steem ahead, Omaha.

I finally dyed my hair last night. Jennifer had to freaking wait until 4a to even start it... maybe a little before it. I didn't go to bed until 530a and I woke up at 1230p -- that's odd for me. I shoulda slept longer.

I got up and watched Ugly Betty (mediocre, but I'm excited to see what happens with Renee...) and Grey's Anatomy (freaking amazing!!! It was shocking. FANTASTIC!)

Let's see if I can write down everything I have to do today and then hopefully remember it:

-Wash hair again, take bath.
-Pack
-Wash Bella, clip and paint her nails, clean her ears.
-Pack for Bella (don't forget dog bed.)
-Mani/Pedi
-Mani/Pedi Jennifer
-Clean kitchen/take out trash
-Get DVDs for travel
-Burn CDs for trip/Tina (almost forgot that one!)
-Buy liquor
-Cash my check

Crap, and I want to take a nap. I think I'm going to finish my blog, burn my CDs and take a nap. I'm still tired. I think I got up just because I wanted to see Grey's Anatomy... ;-) I've got a shitload to do tonight.

Jennifer won't be home until 1 probably and we'll have another late night packing and getting ready, of course Jennifer didn't even go to bed last night!!! She's going to be super tired when she gets home, but she has to pack and we have to mani/pedi. There's of course stuff on that list that I can't do until Jennifer gets home because she has the car...

I'll nap for a while and then Bella and I will get in the bath and get all beautified. I'll do her nails, then my toes and then my nails. LOL Do the acrylic last!! LOL

Pic of the Day:

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Seeping puppeh in a drawer space. Cuter than that? Nothin.

xoxox

Thursday, April 24, 2008

You're A Fallen Star... (20)

"and I know just why you could not come along with me,
this was not your dream, but you always believed in me..."

Jennifer and I went to Taraget yesterday and laundry detergent was on sale for $4 (like the good stuff...) and we accidentally got fabric softener. You can tell we don't do a lot of laundry.

It was so creepy last night... it got really dark, really quick and then it started pouring and I just wanted to get home to Bella so badly. I was scared that it was going to tornado... So we're driving home and we're on our street, less than a mile from home and there was a pick up truck in front of us with a mattress on it and Jenn said, "well that's going to be wet!" and I pointed out that it looked new because I saw the plastic on it...

Literally not 30 seconds after I said that it blew out of the back of the truck. (Stupid people didn't bungee it down, nothing... matresses don't weigh that much to begin with and on top of that it was awful winds because of the storm! It felt like a hurricane!)

So it blew out of the truck and I'm right behind this guy... (well I wasn't close to him... but I was the car behind him.) So I brake and it blew into the oncoming lane and this really nice Lexus drove over it, and I thought "it's going to run over the matress..." well it did, except it got stuck in it's 4 tires, so it was pushing it along, trapped under the car.

The truck just stopped in the middle of the road... I was like, "you gon' go back and get your stuff, dude?!"

Man, if I was that Lexus I woulda been LIVID!

I'm doing my hair tonight!! yay!! I was going to do it last night, but due to unforseen circumstances, I didn't get around to it. But I did finish Jennifer's hair last night and she looks super sexy now!!! WOO!

Pic of the Day:

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xoxox

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Hot Dog (21)

"Now you feel obsessed with me
You're wanting more, you're needing me
In sleep, you dream and think of us
And when you wake you're still in love
I change your thoughts your mind's not clear
Except for what I make you feel
I know my magic's taking hold
You're losing all your self control"

I worked my last day at McDonalds before Omaha yesterday! YAY! It was actually a pretty good day there... I had a lot of laughs with Mike, Christian and Co.

Also, I found out that Josh, the swing manager (and the person who got Jennifer her 2nd manager's job...) has a huge crush on me... uh oh... bad news??? I like him too.

I just swore off guys and then this awesome guy comes along. He's got to be ranked as the 2nd hottest guy I've ever dated (if I date him.)

But, yeah... Jennifer got sick of me having guys -- in 08 alone I've dated 2 guys and had 6 others ask me out/crush on me. But the super weird thing is that it's been all within the past two months or so... 6 guys in 2 months?!?! My God... this is why I say I'm flypaper.

Anyways, I don't know what to think of it just yet -- like I said, I swore off guys because they were getting in the way of my focusing on my album, and now a great guy comes along -- well can't a break a shitty rule for a great guy?? LOL

I'm not eating today. Or at least that's the plan. The plan is to not eat until Omaha and then eat very little in Omaha -- after Omaha, don't eat until LA and then watch myself in LA.

How long do I have to not eat before I move up a bracelet??

Ooh, good question Jodie.

I did the blonde on Jennifer's hair last night and she looks like a supastar. I actually hate her with blonde, but it's her hair, so whatever. Tonight I'm doing the red highlights. I like her with the Tammy hair, but with just blonde?? No.

Tammy hair:

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I'm doing my hair tonight... I'm pretty stoked for it... WOO!

I'm going for it:

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I don't know how it'll turn out, but when you're doing your own hair you kind of have to do it blindly! I'm just going to be blonde blonde blonde... I love being blonde. I think it's a female right.

I'm sure the bottom will still turn out darker than the top. Ahh, oh well. Can't win em all.

Just got word that I'm highlighting Tina's hair when we get up to Omaha... I really should get paid for all of this.

Let's see -- if I made $25 a cut, $25 color and I've been doing Jennifer's hair for 8 years... Sometimes she's changed hairstyles as much as 5 or 6 times a year... she owes me...

Carry the 2...

One million dollars.

Pic of the day:

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I once found this on a greeting card and sent it to my Daddy.

xoxox

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

The Oxygen I Need. (22)

"Why should I be sad?
From the stupid freaking things that you do...
Why should I get mad? or sad? Who knows,
Just take it all as a sign that we're through..."

I don't really know where to begin, I want to speak on something specific, but I can't... or maybe I don't know how, or where to start.

I didn't get much sleep last night and I'm exhausted today. I think I have an Emergen-C packet with me, but I CBA to get up and get some water for it. I wonder what it would taste like in lemonade... *thinks*

I'm at McDonalds... I got here at one and it's nearly 2 now. I don't work til 5 but Jennifer has her stupid manager meeting at one.

Jennifer and I tried to go get her last paycheck from Coldstone today (for the 3rd time) and the stupid freaking manager was never there and they won't release Jennifer her check unless the manager is there. So now, unfortunately, I have to go up there in an hour and get her check for her.

This lady is such a bitch that I doubt she'll give me Jennifer's check, in which case, Jennifer's going to have to go up there on her lunch break and get the check.

We have needed this money for DAYS. DAYS, I tell you!!!

Today is the last day that I have to work before MB in Omaha (4 days!)

Tina and I have been having revelations lately. You know, it's really nice to be wanted and I just realized that I am the best friend to a lot of people... It's nice. I need to think of that next time that I want to die because I'm really loved. It's wonderful. I'm best friends with Jennifer, Gemma, and Tina. I'm sure there's more. LOL Well, of course Rachel's in there too, but she has a lot of friends -- she seems very popular, so she doesn't need me as her best friend. LOL I'm sure I'll get a text about that later.

I love all of my friends. I feel really lucky now. I just filmed a part of my documentary saying that I didn't really have a lot of close friends but the ones I had were amazing. Unfortunately it was a bit windy where we filmed that and now fortunately I will have to reshoot it so I can include details about how much I love my friends.

I'm filming parts of my documentary in Omaha with my digital (just like I am doing for LA). So, if Tina will particiapate it will be nice to have her on my documentary. We can get drunk and whatnot. LOL We can get "real" with each other, and I just have a feeling that I'm going to get deep in Omaha.

Speaking of deep, Tina and I have been getting deep lately. Apparently, she just realized some things today... and I was going to touch on the subject, but I think I've changed my mind.

I need to do my fucking hair. It's looking nappy. I think I had a dream about that last night. Yep, I did. Ooh, I need to do Jennifer's hair too.

Pic of the Day:
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Vintage Timberlake circa 2002.

xoxox

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Ohh...

"I said I don't want nobody
Nobody don't want me
I'm so sad, so lonely
I'm always landing on my feet"

Sorry I didn't blog yesterday... yesterday was a crazy day.

Before work I had a panic attack and so I took half of a Klonopin and went to work. By the time I got to work and started working I had wished I took a whole one. I was just not dealing very well at all.

They put me in the window because that's what I'm best at and I swear I wanted to scream at every customer and throw drinks at them. I just wasn't doing very well and felt like I wasn't in my body.

So I asked Jennifer to move me from customer service to running for drive thru so I didn't do or say something to a customer that I would regret.

So I'm running for drive thru and I'm trying so hard to keep myself composed but it's being very hard. I'm having nervous twitches and trying hard not to scream at people.

I'm the kind of girl to where, if I'M doing something, then just let me do it, don't help me... DONT HELP ME. If I want help I'll ask for help. I don't need help running, I can do it by myself. And the other manager, Beth, doesn't put the fry scooper back where it belongs, she just lays it in the bed with the fries and that makes it hot and then when I go to grab it, it's hot.

Just let me do my job.

I kept telling Jenn, "I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart..." and she told me that I was going on break next and so finally I went on break and I just went to the car and cried and cried and screamed... over basically nothing...

So then I went inside and I asked Jennifer if I could go home to get more Klonopin or Xanax... it's about an hour round trip, but I told her if I didn't have anything that I wasn't going to make it... or I was just going to go home and leave for the day. She told me that I could go home and get it.

So I cried and screamed the entire way home. I was so anxious and nervous, I just didn't feel like me...

I got home and knew where my Klonopin was but I hadn't seen my Xanax in a while so I tore the house apart looking for it and finally I found it in the medicine drawer. I don't put ANYTHING in there, so it made me feel like Jennifer intentionally hid it from me... even though now I see that she probably didn't.

So I cried some more and Bella licked my tears and then I took half of a Klonopin and started to feel better so I went back to work. When I got to McD again I took a Xanax and made it through the rest of my shift.

I'll bet people thought I was stoned. I wasn't moving so fast and I wasn't responding too well to people. LOL But it felt good. Felt better to be like that rather than feel like I was going to come out of my skin.

Next subject.

Doing my hair on Wed... or at least buying the stuff to do my hair... I have one box of kinda goldenish blonde with just a tint tint tint tint tint of red. Hardly noticible which I like...

Apparently like EVERYONE hates the black and blonde thing, so I'll just be normal. Blonde. I already rocked that look, so why go back anyhow, right? Plus, black is so hard to lift.

I've got 3 people who's hair I love (in these specific photos... not saying I always love their hair...)

Now, here's what I love about these photos/celebs hair... I love the color, the style and the cut all in one. So collectivly I want to take all 9 of these photos and make it my hair. Gotcha??

Consider this pics of the day. ;-)

Bridget: Mah girl... we're so the same but different.

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She's got long hair like mine, but I think her's is a few inches longer. She's got the blonde blondest out of these girls.


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Bitch has the cutest body ever and makes roots look good!!!


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I love this picture the most because it shows the definition in her hair color. It shows she's got lightest blonde, golden blonde and a lil light brown in there too... which is probably what my hair will end up like. I always have a thousand colors in my hair. LOL


Britney: Bitch used to have killer hair... now her weave scares me. Seriously B... get strand by strand extensions, not that cheap shit. Your hair used to rock my face.

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I'm loving the golden blonde and platinum blonde here in her hair. That's what I'm going to try for, I believe.


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I love her bangs. I need to trim mine so badly!!! They're so long I can put them into my ponytails!!! (Alright, the ponies on top of my head, but still!!!) I haven't cut my bangs in forever... just haven't really had anything important to do so no reason to do my hair... now I have Omaha (6) and LA (25)!


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One of my ABSOLUTE favorite photos of Britney... I love the straight straight (even though it's a little too short for me...) and her makeup is so Jodie. Here she's got light blonde and platinum and I love that, but I don't have the talent to get that on my own and on the first try... so maybe next time. ;-)


Jessica: Jessica's best friend is her hair stylist. How unfair is that? Damn. And he's gaymayzing. My God... above the other girls Jessica's hair is the most I want to emulate. Her hair is freaking perfect. Style, cut, color... hell her hair has its own attitude. God Bless Ken.

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This photo is incredible. She looks so thin, plus she's got the most perfect golden blonde and hightlights. The volume and bounce in her hair is so sexy and she's very "Farrah" here.


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My hair will probably end up like this, blonde on top (sort of just one color... you can tell it's not, its got just a few high tones... but mostly just one color) and then darker golden blonde on the bottom. The bottom of my hair has always been darker than the top, which I hate... but I guess if I ended up like this it would NOT be the end of the world!!


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She's so cute here! Here you can tell her hair has a little more definition and really that's what I want.

Golden blonde, blonde and platinum. Yep. Alright. I hope it works.

What do y'all think????

xoxox

Friday, April 18, 2008

Hang

"She grabs her magazines
She packs her things and she goes
She leaves the pictures hangings on the walls
She burns all her notes
And she knows,
She's been here few to years
To feel this old..."

Chew. Chew. Spit. Chew. Chew. Swallow. Chew. Chew. Spit.

I still think about you no matter what I do.

What's up?! I'm going to make an attempt at an actual blog today! I truly do want to apologize... I was so into blogging, sometimes barely being able to wait until the next day before posting another and now I'm -- well, I've just had a rut.

What's been up with me? Well, It's only 26 days until LA and I'm trying to lose weight by then. I keep looking at my suitcases and wanting to pack them. So badly. It's exactly 4 weeks from yesterday. I can't wait!

Tomorrow morning I'm going to make Jennifer go on a walk with me. Every morning we'll go walk Bella. The other day we went out to the park and walked her and she had a fabulous time!! She loved it! Also while I was there I filmed some of my documentary. It was quite interesting and touching... I may have gone and "betrayed" one of my friends while filming that, but the truth needs to be spoken... guess you'll have to wait, bitches.

I'm sort of nervous about having to film myself while in LA... that should be interesting...

It's only 8 days until Jennifer and I go to Omaha... Jenn's trying to get to her goal weight by then (first goal) I think she should be able to if she watches it. ;-)

We're going to have a freggin' blast up there. I'm super stoked. I'm going to watch my CA$H while I'm up there and try not to spend much at all because I won't have a whole lot in LA and I need to save some of this check to take to LA... but we're still going to have a blast because you don't have to spend money to have fun, right?!? Right.

I cut Jennifer's hair last night! Woo! and I did her eyebrows! She looks dead sexy! Tomorrow, hopefully, I'm dying her hair...if not tomorrow then Sunday. She's going back to the Tammy Fey hair. I'll post photos.

I'll be doing my hair when I get paid on Wednesday... well, actually. I should wait and do it RIGHT before we go to Omaha so I won't have to touch it up before LA... alright, I think I've decided finally what I'm doing with my hair.

I'm going golden blonde all over, then platinum highlights on top of that, and then black underneath.

Yes, I rocked the black and blonde from 03-05ish... yes I'm going back. It was awesome.

It's very rockstar.

I just got sidetracked for nearly an hour looking at old Britney photoshoots from WorldofBritney.com -- I adore her [old] figure... her spunk and the light that shown out of her... People keep says "old Britney... the old Britney needs to come back..." well whatif that person is gone forever? I don't speak on Britney very often -- we actually both have a lot in common, but I don't speak about her very often because I feel that she's just being whoever/whatever she needs to be right now... whoever she was in the past -- is passed. Whoever she is in the future? Well, we'll let future Britney deal with that.

Pic of the Day:

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One of my favorite Britney photos... I love her stomach and her legs in this one. She's gorgeous.

xoxox

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Oops.

"keep bending me until I'm completely broken in..."

I'm sorry I didn't keep my word on updating yesterday... I got so sidetracked. I would like to update my blog from my BlackBerry, since it takes up most of my time now, but the site is too large to load on it. Oh well...

Colors

I've been a lot of colors in this black and white world.
I've been orange for most but that just hasn't helped me much at all.
I was red for the longest time but it faded back into orange.
Now it's clear to me that I'm just green.
A touch a purple now and then, but I try to just stay focused.
Green, green, green
And I'm sure one day I'll be red again
But it'll be a long time coming until I can be yellow.

Pic of the day?

Ahh, cba.

xoxox

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Ketchup.

I'm sorry I've been neglecting the blog. I've been so tired lately and I haven't even been on my computer in a while.

I am off from now until Saturday -- so there's lots of time to blog!

I'll blog tomorrow. I'm tired.

Thank you for understanding.

xoxox

Sunday, April 13, 2008

An Extra Thought?

DO NOT COMMENT ON THIS POST OR I WILL BE SO PISSED AT YOU AND I WONT TALK TO YOU FOR A WEEK -- NO LIE -- DO NOT MENTION THIS POST TO ME EVER OR I WILL STOP SPEAKING TO YOU.

JUST TAKE IT IN, TRUST WHAT I SAY IS TRUE AND DONT MENTION IT TO ME EVER AGAIN.

READ IT BUT PRETEND IT NEVER HAPPENED.

What's going to happen when someday I check Google News and it says "Justin Timberlake Dead At 27"? Or maybe it won't be 27, it will be 28, 30, 32, 45, 61, 79, 98...

What's going to happen then? What will happen to me?

Everyday I click that link on my BlackBerry to take me to Google News, everyday I click it I hold my breath that I don't read that. Everyday I think to myself, "whatif today is the day that he dies..."

Everyday.

It's not normal for someone to think about that kind of thing everyday.

I once had a dream that was so vivid I woke up crying... a dream where he died in the beginning of it and I was forced to watch what happened to the rest of the world. I didn't know what to do with what I had seen so I turned it into a fan fiction. I shared it with Gemma and she said it was the saddest thing she had ever read. It was heartwrenching to watch myself walk up to his coffin at his funeral.

What's going to happen to me?

They say "the world doesn't revolve around you..." and I suppose that's both true and false... it's true because when you die, life goes on -- but for you, the world stops. Life stops for you, it's your time to get off, so for you -- the world has ended.

Well, I know what happens to me if I die -- life will proceed and people will be sad, but what happens when the person I care about most in this world dies??

I've only lost two people in my life... 2 Grandma's. I might not be sad when my third one leaves because she's an evil person, I might be sad when my Grandpa dies because he was a good man, I won't be sad when my Uncle Kurt dies because he's fucked up everything... I will be devestated when my Uncle Les dies because he was extraordinary... I will be sad when my Mom dies because she helped raise me and cares for me a lot... I wouldn't know how to live if Jennifer died... I would feel extreemly guilty and broken if Bella dies... I will feel like God is tourturing me, and personally trying to hurt me when my Mama and my Daddy die... I reckon it's something that everyone has to go through, but everyday I dread it.

But I'm not sure how I will react when Justin dies.

Jennifer says I'll spiral downwards and I'll starve myself, drink myself silly and retract myself from the world. I'm sure she's right.

I think that everyone in my phone book will call me to see "how I'm doing" and they'll think that they're the ones breaking the news to me.

Let me tell you something... if Justin dies tomorrow -- I don't want sympathy, no one will feel like I will feel because no one will know the type of connection we had. That's for me to know.

I'm not sure if I will want to carry his memory on or if it might be easier to remove him from my life all together. Those are things I won't know until it happens.

Here's what I do know ---

1. Don't say RIP -- I hate it. Hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate

I HATE RIP.

2. I'll talk about it when I'm ready to talk about it. (Which might not be for deacades.)

3. Don't be surprised when you can't get ahold of my. My technology will be shut off... I will just be in my room, with my dog, crying and sleeping and all around medicated.

4. Just because you know that my phone will be turned off doesn't mean that I don't expect a call from you...

When I do turn on my phone -- how's it going to make me feel if I don't see any missed calls from anyone?? Baaad.

Jennifer and I have talked about Justin dying more times than I would like to admit. It comes into my mind every day and I can't let it go... it's because I've always had this feeling that he was going to die young -- yet I when I envision him I see his old, balding and grey...

I can't place it. Perhaps one is my fear and one is my future... unfortunately, I'm not strong enough to decipher which one is his fate.

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I'm sorry that I can't be stronger
I'm sorry it's taking me longer,
to get to the point of what I need
and where I want to go

I'm sorry I can't be wiser
I'm sorry I can't be higher
But what you need is for me
To take you to the other side

I'm sorry I can't live longer
I'm sorry I've gotten wronger
It's not up to me to decide your fate
It's yours, so I'll just sit and wait.

















































xoxox

Flypaper

"and I don't care what they say, cuz I'm in love with you..."

I know, I know... I said I would update everyday, but guess what? I lied.

I know it's been two days without an update, but in my deffense I started one the other day! I just didn't finish it... LOL And I've been busy playing with my BlackBerry. It's wonderful.

They don't call it a "smartphone" for nothing!! It's really smart!

So let me get down to buisness here -- men are attracted to me. It's now a proven fact. My phone even knows it. (Cuz my phone is so smart... get it?? Get it!?)

I have been asked out LITERALLY by 3 people who work at McDonalds -- two of which are named Jose, and two of them who have the last name "Martinez" (Nope, not both Jose's are named Martinez...)

On top of that - I used to have those two guys, Mitch and Drew, which just came along so abruptly and I shooed them out of my life just as quickly.

Last night Jennifer and I were having a couple drinks at the casino and this cute cute cute southern boy, Aaron, came over and introduced himself. He was a little shy and awkward, but it was really adorable... so he left and went back up to his friend and then I wrote my number down on a napkin (old school) and gave it to Jennifer to give to him. Him and his friend then came down and joined us for a drink.

His friend's name was Cody (Cody and Jodie, he said...) and it would have been wonderful -- two hot, (and I mean HOT) guys came over to us and wanted to talk and have a drink... yeah, that's great, except they never went to "conversation school". I cannot, just can't, carry a conversation all by myself.

So here I am, pulling shit outta my ass trying to get them to say ANYTHING and not just fucking sit there and then, bless him, Fortune calls me. I got up from that table so fast I think I left tracks...

So I went into the bathroom and talked for Fortune for a while and he was wonderful... telling me how you should get something out of friendships and relationships... that sex is just animalistic and that humans make love...

Fortune is very wise... anytime I have a problem or an issue I know that I can rely on him. He's all in one -- friend, producer, advisor. He's seriously incredible and every time I talk to him I get more and more excited about LA in 31 days.

:-)

So while Jennifer went to the bathroom after I came back from 17 minutes of talking on the phone with Fortune (yes, I know it was rude but I thought that Aaron would leave!! He didn't.) I texted Jennifer and told her to make something up on why we had to leave. No, I didn't want to leave, but Aaron didn't go to "taking hints school" either.

So we leave and exchange numbers. (Well, he already had mine... but I took his.)

So then Jennifer and I are on a mission to find one of two things --
A) a McDonalds serving breakfast at 3a.
B) a McDonalds with the new Southern Style Chicken.

As we're driving to 4 different McDonalds' Aaron proceedes to call me 5 times.

I'm not exaggerating.

2:43a
2:55a
3:01a
3:15a
3:19a

No lie.

I didn't answer once. The first time he called I was like, "Okay, he's just making sure its my number..." (Guys do that now, can you imagine?!) Then he kept calling and I was like, "okay, stalker! Stop!" And then Jennifer said something very true -- "he couldn't talk in person, what's he gonna say over the phone..."

I mean, you literally had to pull words out of this dudes mouth. It was awful.

So that was my exciting night. I was going to film while I was out for my documentary, but then the guys sort of blew that. I think we're recording today though.

13 days until Omaha!

We have to drive our own shitty car. Ahh, well, whatchagonna do?

No pic of the day, I'm too tired and lazy.

xoxox

Thursday, April 10, 2008

What It It Gonna Take?

"My Father, forgive us cuz we know not what we're doing
and my brothers, how we gonna tie up all these loose ends?
And my Mother, I'm trying to use everything you taught me to keep it moving..."

Ahh, I got paid yesterday and now I'm broke. Ain't that they way it goes? I bought a stack of 50 DVDs and 50 CDs, stuff to do acrylics, some note cards, $40 worth of booze, bought dinner... ahh, money goes so fast.

I think I like my BlackBerry. I'm pretty sure I do... of course now that I have my nails done it's a pain in my ass to type on it. I'll get the hang of it though. I have to go up to Verizon AGAIN today...

Jennifer didn't like the free phone that she got on the first and so she decided to exchange it -- but actually she paid for this one. The manager she knows waived the rebate fee and so she paid $20 for the Motorola KRZR. I said "good luck with that Motorola..." (My music Q was Motorola...) and whatdayaknow?? We got home and she was making a call and she could hear them but they couldn't hear her. HA!

She called from a different phone (we have 4!!) and they tried to troubleshoot it (she had only had it 2 hours!) and they said it was just broken and she would have to go up to Verizon and exchange it for a new one.

I'm not sure if she's decided or not -- but she wanted the Juke (Samsung) and so she technically could exchange it for that, but I'm not sure what she wants to do.

I'm backing up my computer onto the DVDs I got last night. I haven't done that yet!! Can you imagine?? I've had the computer for a year... haha... well, the only thing I backed up was my Justin photos, but those were just on regulae CDs...

Tonight Jennifer and I are going to print out my taxes and mail them tomorrow. We're going to get Jennifer's new phone tonight and then we're going to Lawrence to have dinner at the Mad Greek with my parentals.

Pic of the Day:

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Justin last night in LA at the ASCAP awards. (American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers) He won two awards... one for My Love and one for Until The End Of Time. He looks so good here! And he looks so happy!! It's always nice to see him smiling like he means it!

xoxox

30-something.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

How Could It Hurt You When I Looks So Good?

"Every little thing that you say and do,
I'm hung up... hung up on you..."

Ahh, sweet Madonna... the Queen... speaking of Madonna -- Jennifer gave me the green light on getting the dog!!! She's saying late May -- so yaaay! Madonna's (the dog...) birthday is May 25th.

So my second Q broke. First of all they never brought me my replacement to my house... I had to go get it -- which is not what "overnight" means... Then, it broke after not even 24 hours. So I exhanged it for a pink BlackBerry Pearl (four colors in the last three words...) today... which was freaking difficult, but I really think I like the BlackBerry better. It's a little more difficult to do, but it's truly better quality and can do the same -- if not more things than the Q. Yeah, I can't download VCast music, but fuck it!! I've got 3000 songs on my computer and enough memory cards to hold them all and put them on my phone!

30 minutes until I can get my check. With my check I have to pay Jennifer for the phone ($130) my dad a payment for my computer ($20) and I think I'm just gonna get my nails done. I need some "me" time." I just hope my check isn't shitty like last time... of course that was my first check so this should be more... except I might have shoes coming out of this check and insurance...

Speaking of which -- so I got insurance!! haha... McD insurance isn't bad except you can't use it for "mental disorders" which fucking blows because I have a lot of mental issues that I need some freaking xanax and zoloft for. Well, it didn't say anything about a regular doctor perscribing it and then using the insurance to get the medication so I'm just going to have to pay full price for a psyc or see a regular doctor.

I need to get some shit taken care of at the doctor... but that's all personal. ;-)

Tonight I think Jennifer and I should get drunk. Fuck, after this week I think I most definitely need to. I want some margarita's!! Ooh!

Fortune reminded me that alcohol is a depressant. It brings you up for a while and then it brings you down... which, sucks... but I can't afford "uppers". ;-)

Tonight we were supposed to go to Lawrence and meet my parents for dinner but they moved it to tomorrow night, so yay... I have a present for my step mom for her birthday, but I haven't seen her since before then so I haven't given it to her yet. Hope she likes it! Also, tomorrow I'll be telling them about Madonna (unless they read my blog...) and maaaaybe about LA. I don't know.

36.

Pic of the Day:

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Don't know if you can see the keys, but yeah... they're different and kinda small... I'll figure it out. At first I was like, "oh god, I'm screwed." But after ten minutes and 3 text messages I was like "oh, this isn't that hard." And now that i've had it for nearly 3 hours it's like "alright, I'm most definitely getting the hang of this." Give me 3 more days with it and I'll be a pro.

xoxox

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

FUCK KU!

"People ask if I'm in love with you,
Cuz I'm sitting here with your picture,
And smiling to myself..."

So... Tigers lost the Nationals. I actually had real hope for them and then it just all fell. It was a truly great game though. KU played really well and around here everyone is SO proud of KU -- nearly every person I know has gone to KU or just a huge fan, so it's nice that all eyes are on them for the moment -- of course, being born in Manhattan, Kansas -- home of the Wildcats -- I was raised to despise KU, even though they really do play better than everyone... so instead of rooting for K-State (which is pretty dumb, since they don't win anything...) I just root for Memphis instead.

KU fans are insane. They tend to get a little out of hand, I mean... I'm all for school spirit - I think it's a wonderful thing... but there is nothing like a KU fan. You will never meet anyone so loyal to their school/team. They're loud and rowdy and all around crazy...

So it's 9:26a and I'm waiting for my phone to get here. I got up at 8a and I couldn't go back to sleep. They said it will be here by 10:30a --- oooh!!! I see a UPS truck coming up our street... wow, how's that for timing?? Haha, knowing my luck it won't be for me, and Verizon probably didn't send through UPS. Firgues. Whoa, here comes another one... wow, that's weird... nah, not for me... it passed our house.

*Waits on third truck*

Nada.

It's cold and rainy today. I have to go to work at 1... I asked off for Tuesday's because I'm so sick of working the lunch shift. On Tuesday's Jennifer has manager meetings and since we work the same schedule that means I have to work from like 1-10 on Tuesday's which is not cool with me and I hate the lunch people so I asked off for them from now on. This will be my last Tuesday.

They never need me there!!! I get there and I kinda stand there for a while wondering what I should do -- last Tuesday I just did fries, which was fine by me! I'd rather do fries then try and run for someone when there's already 2 people running... I'm not going to do that. Plus, I'm good at fries. I have a system. ;-)

But I'm not scheduled at 1 today -- of course Jennifer is -- but I'm scheduled from 4-8... I think Jennifer's working from 1-9 or something so I'm bringing my computer.

I really wish my phone would hurry up and get here. I still can't believe how many problems I've had with it, it's kinda superdumb. Here comes another UPS truck... hahaha, everytime I talk about em another one comes!! Damn... and then it passed me.

Just checked Verizon's site and I'm waiting for FedEx, not UPS... Good. I hate UPS. FedEx rawks.

Jenn's taking her phone back today once I get mine. She thought it was nice, but the text is super slow and the buttons don't work so she's going to see if she can get a RAZR. I tried to get her to get the RAZR when we got her phone but she didn't want it. She said she doesn't like the RAZRs (yet now she's trying to get one...) I told her that she had already had a RAZR and that she knew it was a great phone... Ahh, whatever... I'll let you know what comes of it.

Well, I can't make this blog go on any further.

Pic of the Day:

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Timberlake rooting for the Tigers last night in TX at the Nationals. I'm sure it was harder to see them lose in person.

xoxox

Monday, April 7, 2008

Verizon? Oh Verizon...

"The road to Hell is paved with good intentions..."


So I'm on the phone with Verizon... which I've had to do several times a day since I got my Q. So today's problem was that at first I couldn't send a text... which I had text problems 2 days ago... anyhow, so I restarted my phone and it brought back the original settings, so I changed them and then it wouldn't read that I had changed them and then it froze and wouldn't let me do ANYTHING...

So I called and the sweet chick said she'd send me a new music Q or a different phone and I thought about just getting the BlackBerry for a second, but then I was like, "No I really like the Q..." so I'm giving it another shot, but if that doesn't work I'm demanding a BlackBerry... anyhow, so then we were trying to get my contacts loaded to my computer so we could do a master reset so I could use the phone for tonight and we couldn't even get it to do that!!! She said the phone was a "lemon"... LOL She was cute and Southern. Anyhow, so then we tried to skip that and do a master reset and it wouldn't do that so I'm stuck with my Chocolate again until tomorrow at 10a...

Kinda fucking blows... I saved a bunchhhh of songs onto my SD card that came with the phone and fuck them, I'm keeping that. HA!

I'm actually not mad about the situation... I'd be mad if this happened after I had the phone for a few weeks... you know? But I've just had it for 2 days, so it's no biggie.

Alright... in other news -- I'm getting a new ChiChi!!!! I'm adopting her, which I truly believe is the best thing to do. Yes, we didn't adopt Bella, but we didn't get her from a puppy mill or pet store which is the WORST thing to do EVER.

Have you ever been in a pet store? Do you see how miserable those dogs are? They're cold and walking on wire, no accessable water, no blanket - maybe one used toy and they're crowded in with another dog. It's just wrong. DO NOT BUY FROM PET STORES.

The breeder we got Bella from is wonderful... she only breeds Chihuahua's and she has a true passion for them. She's got a dog up for adoption now named Donna and Jenn and I are going to adopt her if everything works out.

Here's what it says about her on her adoption page:::

Meet Donna- She is ready to go her forever home. Donna is a sweet , sweet girl. She is so loving and will make someone a really great housepet. Donna is potty pad trained , had all of her shots , dewormed, is microchipped, and a star studded pedigree. Donna is quiet and calm but loves to be cuddled. She will be spayed before going to her new "pet" only home. Donna was born 05/25/02 so she will soon be 6 years old. $150 adoption fee to cover her spay & dental/ Shipping charges are addtional . 6lbs smoothcoat

I emailed the lady, Karen and here's what she said about Donna:::

I do have another girl that I am adopting out , her name is Donna and she is a smooth coat not a longcoat. She has been shuffled from home to home since her first daddy died , so she needs a good , consistant home . She is a little shy from being moved around but she is very loving.

I told her that I was very interested and she's going to send me more photos of Donna. I'm going to call her Madonna!! (Her actual name is PrimmaDonna... sounds like my kinda ChiChi!)

I have to work today. Idonwanna.

Pic of the Day:

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Madonna!!

xoxox

38.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Bang Bang

"I was five and he was six

We rode on horses made of sticks,

He wore black and I wore white,

He would always win the fight...

Bang bang, he shot me down..."

An open letter to Mitch Lyon:

Dear Mitch,

While trying to remain as adult as I possibly can in this current situation, it's killing me because I know that I'm not very adult like--so please forgive me for putting you on blast, but really, I think you deserve it.

Last night was just plain awful. I don't know where you get off thinking that just because we're "dating" and you buy me a few vodka tonics that I'm going to sleep with you.

You really need to check your drinking. I don't tell people that a lot because I understand it's a touchy subject, but I have never seen you sober. Ever. That's a problem, hun.

You're pride isn't going to keep you alive -- you should have let me drive when I offered. I'm an exceptional driver, and your car isn't that great... it's not like you have an Escalade or something, in which case I would understand you not wanting me to drive it.


I knew from the minute we got home last night that "this" wasn't going to work. No, I don't find it sexy that you're dancing with Jennifer and grabbing her ass. No, I don't want to have a three-some with my best friend who is like a sister to me. (Gross.) And no, it's not okay if you fuck her.

Jennifer told me about all the shit you were saying to her, and I saw you when I was on the patio. I didn't go out there to get air -- I went out there to get away from you.

If sex was the only thing you were looking for then you should have told me that in the beginning so I wouldn't have wasted so much time on you. Sex is a wonderful thing, yes, but it's not the only part of a relationship, like you said last night before you left.

"Keeping your boyfriend happy," isn't the only part of a relationship either -- it's called "we don't live in 1955 anymore, and I'm not a piece of meat. I have feelings, I have a heart and a mind -- I'm not just tits and ass.

"If I can't get it from you, I'll get it somewhere else..." is the lamest line ever... do you think I'm really going to be "well, no, Mitch!! Then don't go fuck someone else... Fuck me!" No...

You need to grow up -- your therapist was right -- you do have issues with women and I'm not going to be the last one you have issues with. If your "girlfriend" doesn't want to have sex, then guess what?? You're not having sex that night and you can deal with it or I suppose, go find a new girlfriend.

Good luck with that regular booty call that you're looking for. I hope you find it.

xoxox

Jodie Platz

Now back to our regular scheduled programming:

Sorry I didn't blog yesterday - I didn't realize it until I was on the phone with Fortune last night. Oops.

Speaking of phones!!! AHH! Guess what I got??! It's amazing. So I got up at 10a to go get my Music Q -- and after Jennifer just opening a new line of service and getting a free phone 3 days ago, they tell me that I need a $125 deposit on the acct. (It's in Jennifer's name... Verizon won't give me a phone! HA!)

So I flip out and we call Verizon 3 more times and still nothing... Jennifer had worked previously with the supervisor, Tyler, of this Verizon - so he said that he would waive the mail in rebate and make it an instant rebate... we still didn't have enough for the $125 deposit and the $80 phone...

I gave up and came to terms with the fact that I wasn't going to get it until Wednesday when I got paid.

Then I went to my Mama's house to do my taxies (more on that later) and I told Pam and my Mama all about my phone dilemma. Pam gets mad easily and became enraged about the fact that they had opened this new line 3 days ago without a deposit and that they wouldn't do it now... so she suggested we go up to a Verizon store and have a word with them...

So we get up there and there's this cute boy named Justin working and I explain my problem, he pulls up my account and the new line information and within 5 minutes of walking through the door he tells me that everything's all good and I got approved for the new line.

Well God Bless Kansas, because apparently in Missouri they blow. (Not that I think that was really the problem... I have no idea how he got around the deposit, and if he did I have no idea why Jenn's supervisor friend didn't.)

Then I explained to Justin that the phone was $80 at the Verizon I was going to go to and that he was turning the rebate into instant... so Justin calls his manager and get's the okay for that and so I paid less than I had originally planned. I only paid $80 for the phone and then I bought a $30 memory card for the phone.

Fucking A man! That was sweet. Justin was adorable too... aren't they all?

So I did my taxes and I think I get $194 back from Federal, $24 from State and then $300 for the incentives rebate. Yay for all of that... although I have to actually mail it in because I can't e-file through Turbo Tax -- every single year they have said that my SSN and my bday don't make. Retarded, right?? I know when I was born and my fucking SSN hasn't changed -- ever... So that's odd... but whatever...

39 days.

Pic of the Day:

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Justin leaving a wedding last night with Jessica... alright, Jessica isn't in this picture, but she was there. Haha... alright, I've got several comments about this photo.

First of all -- that's how you show up looking to a wedding? Justin! Did you look at Jess before y'all left? She looks to polished and sophisticated. Her style is insane and he looks kinda emo.

2nd of all -- Justin's losing too much weight. It's good to see the scruff is back since he's not filming right now, I hate the baby face, but doesn't he look gaunt here? Baby call me... I'm worried.

xoxox

Friday, April 4, 2008

Ahh, Crap.

"if he's got you baggin' em it could be worse,
just put a little in the baggie,
put a little in the purse..."

Happy wedding day to Jay and Beyonce. Damn, I wish I was marrying Jay.

Had my interview at Coldstone today and although there has rarely been an interview for a job that I didn't get, I really don't think I'll get this one. Ugh, it was aweful. It started off great, and then stupid me -- I talk too much and then she asked me to sing, which I knew she was going to do, and I stuttered and stuff, but I did sing -- then she asked me to dance and I wouldn't do that.

It's not like I wouldn't dance if I was asked at work -- if there was something specific I was doing... if I was doing set choreography. You know? I'm not just going to dance to some shit that I'm making up right there on the spot to no music. It was stupid. So whatever...

It would've been nice to work with Jennifer, but working 14 hour days for little pay isn't my kind of thing, you know? I would've only been making $6 an hour. Slaaaave...

So fuck it, if it's not meant to be, then it's not meant to be. Am I right or am I right?

So Mitch came over last night and totally wanted me back. He basically just freaked because we were moving so fast... I told him we could DATE, but not be exclusive... I think we're doing something Saturday night. Going to the Pub with Rikki Tikki.

Speaking of Saturday!!! That's tomorrow and I get my new phone in exactly 21 hours! WOO! I can't wait! I'm super stoked!

Fortune is going to the Vegas and I'm fucking jealous. I've said it before and I'll say it again -- it's my favorite place evar.

Saw the Madonna/Justin video yesterday -- it was sex. I wanted to hump my computer, but don't worry -- I didn't. It was seriously incredible.

Unfortunately, all the places I saw it from took it down because -- well, they weren't supposed to have it up there!! haha... well yeah, that's shit, but oh my Gawwwwd. It was amazing. I lover it. I wanna see it again!!

I just have to wait until 4:44p -- of course I'll be at work then, but ahh, I can see it after. Can you believe that was shot all the way back on Justin's birthday?!?! Damn, that was a long time ago!

Ahh, I can't wait for my phone... I know I already said that, but I mean it. *serious face*

Pic of the Day:

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Bella got to the lion a little too hard... at least he's still smiling.

xoxox

40.

EDIT::: Anonymous people can now leave comments, but please say who you are - now there's no excuses for not commenting!!!! :-D

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Creamy vs Chunky Peanut Butter

"oh my gosh you must be joking me
if you think that you'll be poking me..."

This bread is kinda stale. Well, the first piece anyhow. I'm eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwish. You know how some people are all about one kind of peanut butter? Well, I really don't have a preferance... just thought I'd share that.

What's your favorite jelly? I really like any kind, I think grape is too sweet, and I don't like artificial strawberry things... (anything that's not a real strawberry, I won't eat.) but my favorite jellies are raspberry, cherry and peach or apricot.

Today I think Mitch is coming over... ehh... I don't want to talk about it.

Tonight we're filming some more of my documentary. I haven't filmed some in a while...

Last night I went to see some live music with Rikki... oh god... it was so terrible. I had to text Fortune and tell him we could do so much better. It was awful. These people had no idea what they were doing... some people were blaming it on their tracks, some were blaming it on the sound system, some were just blaming it on them. Rikki and I said that you shouldn't blame it on anything, you're responsible for your show -- be prepared!!!

Talked to Fortune last night... every time I do I feel more and more comfortable with him. He's so real and genuine. It's been wonderful getting to know him.

Tomorrow I have my interview at Coldstone! Finally! I'm sure I'll get it... there's only been one or two jobs I've had interviews for but didn't get the job... Then I'll get to spend LOTS of time with Jennifer!! WOO!

I'm going to tell McD's that I can't work Tuesday's now. Then I'll have Tues, Wed, Thurs off. YAY! Tuesday's are the manager meetings and I'm always scheduled from 1-10p which is too fucking long for me to work, if you ask me! I have to be there from those times because that's how long Jennifer has to be there... eww.

Pic of the Day:

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A lot of people give Jason "Gummi Bear" Davis a lot of crap, but c'mon... bitch looks good!!!! Tomorrow I'm going on the Gummi Bear diet!! (Not, like literally, gummi bears...)

xoxox

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Oh No I've Said Much...

"that's me in the corner,
that's me in the spotlight
losing my religion..."

So I have the oppertunity to work with Jeff Timmon's of 98 Degrees for my album. He has agreed to sing on a track with me... for $2000-$5000.

Ahh, crap. Well, I have 3 options.

1. Don't come up with the money, don't sing with Jeff.
2. Come up with the money, sing with Jeff.
3. Come up with some money and sing with a different, perhaps better or more well known, artist.

I'll let future Jodie deal with this situation.

Apparently, Fortune has been reading my blog -- well hello Fortune! Did you know it's only 42 days?!?!

New Kids On The Block are reuniting -- not sure if it's just for the Today show on Friday, or permanatly -- even though after People reported they were getting back together Danny said they weren't on his MySpace -- so after he said that I just ignored all the NKOTB rumors.

They released this promo photo today:

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They all look pissed to be there -- except Jon. He looks like he's having an okay time, which is odd considering...

see the full size version at www.nkotb.com

This year marks the 20th anniversary of Hangin' Tough... can you believe?? My God.

I have today and tomorrow off -- Mitch texted me today and said he wanted to hang out tomorrow night... I'm like "I'll get back to you..." meaning, "I'll ask Jennifer..."

We were chatting on text today (Mitch and I) and he said he came across the photos I took of myself on his phone and that I looked "pritty..." (MUST. HOLD. TONGUE.) He also said that he was an "idiot" and I knew why but I said "why?" and he said "you know..." and I continued to play dumb and then he said that he would tell me in person tomorrow... I already know he's going to ask me back.

I posted a blog on my myspace today stating that I was waay over men. They're a distraction and they're all drama. Like, God love Mitch, but c'mon... he was the one that wanted to tie me down the first day he met me. The first time we had a real date he wanted to "go steady" (I can't think of a better title for it than that...) and then 2 weeks later -- to the day he said that we were going to fast. Or that's lack of what he couldn't say... it wasn't until I broke up with him that night and he text me a few days later he said that we were moving too fast. And then it's been what a week? And he wants me back... DRAMA.

Then today I get a text from Christina (who introduced me to Mitch and Drew) and she was mad at me because I had been "talking bad about her" which is nowhere near true. I have no idea where she is getting that. But then apparently Drew had come over last night and was telling her how I "texted him and was desperatly saying I was so sorry..." and I was like, "yeah, I text him and told him I was sorry because the whole time I was dating Mitch I basically ignored Drew..." So I have no idea what's going on but Drew is feeding her lies. I didn't say one thing about Christina to Drew.

This. This is why I don't want to date anymore. I'd rather have friends than boyfriends.

Everyone told me that Mitch was more mature than Drew and that I should go for Mitch, not Drew... then I did and it didn't work out so I was just casually texting Drew -- I wasn't trying to start anything up with him... I just wanted to make sure he didn't hate me for dating Mitch.

Anyhow -- I guess they were right, Mitch is more mature than Drew.

I'm not mad at anyone -- I'm confused on why Drew would do this, but whatever... I'm over the situation.

I want a new tattoo... I was really thinking about getting one in LA. Thought about getting a treble clef on my left wrist or my ankle... how much tats run in LA, Fortune? :-) Ahh, I'm not sure I'd have enough money though... if it happens it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't.

Tonight I think I'll sort my lyrics for the next phase... Nothing else to do.

Pics of the Day:

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Me & Jon Knight

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Me & Jordan Knight.

Can't wait for the NKOTB reunion!

xoxox

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Calendar Day!

"Sometimes I think what I need is a 'you' intervention..."

43 days? 42? I can't remember.

Happy Calendar Day!! Man, this month took forever to get here! Jenn and I have 5 calendars to change today... hey man, that's what happens when you work at a calendar store!!

I didn't go to bed until 4a and then Fortune called me at 5a -- that threw me for a loop. I was so confused and disoriented... haha... I didn't answer. Then I woke up at 9a and Jenn and I went to Verizon to get her a new phone since her's broke last night.

So here's the deal -- Jennifer and I both hate our phones, her's is super stupid and has no features and mine is just dumb. You don't go from a Sidekick to a Chocolate... I should have known that. Stupid small texting. I'm a qwerty girl. That was a fun word to type. qwerty... try it... haha... qwerty. qwerty.

So here's what we're doing... We have 5 lines available on Verizon... well actually we have two left because Jenn has one, I have one and the internet has one... so Jenn just opened a new line and got a brand new free phone.

Remember how I told y'all that my phone broke earlier this week and that I was going to have to pay $50 to get a new one from the insurance?? Well fuck that... why pay $50 to get the same phone that I hate when I can pay $80 and get a new phone that I want SOOO badly?!?!?!

Yup... Saturday we're opening a new line for me (I will still have the same phone number...) and I'm getting the music Q. I want it so bad. It's insanely awesome... I'm between the Q and the enV... if I couldn't have gotten the Q I woulda got the enV -- they're the same price but the Q is so much sweeter!!

I finally sorted all of my lyrics. Whew! I just need to rewrite them into notebooks now and sub sort them... not in that order.

I have to work from 1-10p today. That's disgusting, right? But I'm off tomorrow and Thursday and then Saturday I get my new phone and Jennifer and I have a date! ;-) I'm excited about that. I think we're going to get some margarita's or something. I'm pretty excited just to have some time to spend with her.

Today starts me and Jennifer's water fast. We're pretty excited for that. Yesterday was a total binge. I had a Big Mac (no meat) and fries and then when I came home I had leftover nacho stuff... eww... ugh, I went to bed so full and I know that's not good. I woke up fucking full!!! Not good, I say... not good.

Pic of the Day:

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Saturday!! I'm stoked!!!

xoxox