Bang Bang

"I was five and he was six

We rode on horses made of sticks,

He wore black and I wore white,

He would always win the fight...

Bang bang, he shot me down..."

An open letter to Mitch Lyon:

Dear Mitch,

While trying to remain as adult as I possibly can in this current situation, it's killing me because I know that I'm not very adult like--so please forgive me for putting you on blast, but really, I think you deserve it.

Last night was just plain awful. I don't know where you get off thinking that just because we're "dating" and you buy me a few vodka tonics that I'm going to sleep with you.

You really need to check your drinking. I don't tell people that a lot because I understand it's a touchy subject, but I have never seen you sober. Ever. That's a problem, hun.

You're pride isn't going to keep you alive -- you should have let me drive when I offered. I'm an exceptional driver, and your car isn't that great... it's not like you have an Escalade or something, in which case I would understand you not wanting me to drive it.

I knew from the minute we got home last night that "this" wasn't going to work. No, I don't find it sexy that you're dancing with Jennifer and grabbing her ass. No, I don't want to have a three-some with my best friend who is like a sister to me. (Gross.) And no, it's not okay if you fuck her.

Jennifer told me about all the shit you were saying to her, and I saw you when I was on the patio. I didn't go out there to get air -- I went out there to get away from you.

If sex was the only thing you were looking for then you should have told me that in the beginning so I wouldn't have wasted so much time on you. Sex is a wonderful thing, yes, but it's not the only part of a relationship, like you said last night before you left.

"Keeping your boyfriend happy," isn't the only part of a relationship either -- it's called "we don't live in 1955 anymore, and I'm not a piece of meat. I have feelings, I have a heart and a mind -- I'm not just tits and ass.

"If I can't get it from you, I'll get it somewhere else..." is the lamest line ever... do you think I'm really going to be "well, no, Mitch!! Then don't go fuck someone else... Fuck me!" No...

You need to grow up -- your therapist was right -- you do have issues with women and I'm not going to be the last one you have issues with. If your "girlfriend" doesn't want to have sex, then guess what?? You're not having sex that night and you can deal with it or I suppose, go find a new girlfriend.

Good luck with that regular booty call that you're looking for. I hope you find it.

xoxox

Jodie Platz

Now back to our regular scheduled programming:

Sorry I didn't blog yesterday - I didn't realize it until I was on the phone with Fortune last night. Oops.

Speaking of phones!!! AHH! Guess what I got??! It's amazing. So I got up at 10a to go get my Music Q -- and after Jennifer just opening a new line of service and getting a free phone 3 days ago, they tell me that I need a $125 deposit on the acct. (It's in Jennifer's name... Verizon won't give me a phone! HA!)

So I flip out and we call Verizon 3 more times and still nothing... Jennifer had worked previously with the supervisor, Tyler, of this Verizon - so he said that he would waive the mail in rebate and make it an instant rebate... we still didn't have enough for the $125 deposit and the $80 phone...

I gave up and came to terms with the fact that I wasn't going to get it until Wednesday when I got paid.

Then I went to my Mama's house to do my taxies (more on that later) and I told Pam and my Mama all about my phone dilemma. Pam gets mad easily and became enraged about the fact that they had opened this new line 3 days ago without a deposit and that they wouldn't do it now... so she suggested we go up to a Verizon store and have a word with them...

So we get up there and there's this cute boy named Justin working and I explain my problem, he pulls up my account and the new line information and within 5 minutes of walking through the door he tells me that everything's all good and I got approved for the new line.

Well God Bless Kansas, because apparently in Missouri they blow. (Not that I think that was really the problem... I have no idea how he got around the deposit, and if he did I have no idea why Jenn's supervisor friend didn't.)

Then I explained to Justin that the phone was $80 at the Verizon I was going to go to and that he was turning the rebate into instant... so Justin calls his manager and get's the okay for that and so I paid less than I had originally planned. I only paid $80 for the phone and then I bought a $30 memory card for the phone.

Fucking A man! That was sweet. Justin was adorable too... aren't they all?

So I did my taxes and I think I get $194 back from Federal, $24 from State and then $300 for the incentives rebate. Yay for all of that... although I have to actually mail it in because I can't e-file through Turbo Tax -- every single year they have said that my SSN and my bday don't make. Retarded, right?? I know when I was born and my fucking SSN hasn't changed -- ever... So that's odd... but whatever...

39 days.

Pic of the Day:

Justin leaving a wedding last night with Jessica... alright, Jessica isn't in this picture, but she was there. Haha... alright, I've got several comments about this photo.

First of all -- that's how you show up looking to a wedding? Justin! Did you look at Jess before y'all left? She looks to polished and sophisticated. Her style is insane and he looks kinda emo.

2nd of all -- Justin's losing too much weight. It's good to see the scruff is back since he's not filming right now, I hate the baby face, but doesn't he look gaunt here? Baby call me... I'm worried.

xoxox