Wonderful Fall

"Help, I have done it again,
I have been here many times before,
Hurt myself again today,
And the worst part is there's no one else to blame,
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me, I am small
And needy, warm me up
And breathe me..."

Today was wonderful!!! I got my first check for selling a song!!!!!!!!! AHH! It's incredible. In some way I feel like a real musician now... Like I've actually done something. I've sent my music into the world... Wow.

I *think* I know how I'm spending it... we'll see tomorrow... ;-)

Went to my Mama's for Halloween tonight and it was awesome blossom. I was a very scary ghoul/skeleton and made some kids cry. Haha... alright, I feel bad about that part. LOL

I did Pam's makeup for her to be a dead guy in a coffin. I rawked at it. I'll post pics as soon as I get em from my Mom. As the kids would come up I would pretend I was a statue or whatever and they would go on the porch and my Mom would say in an accent, "please pay your respects to me poor dead husband..." and then Pam would slowly open her eyes and sit up. There were tons of screams!!! As they came off the porch I would stand up and run after them. It was hilarious and I loveeeed it!!! Can't wait for next year!

I'm hungry. I had a piece of pizza today and that's all...

I've made a new friend! I got a friend request from a girl named Samantha a few days ago and we've been chatting, she's pretty cool beans. She called it "full circle" to find out that I was the girl who touched Justin at the end of HBO. Haha... I love it. We're hoping we run into each other when we go to NY because we'll be going around the same time...

So now instead of Pebble Beach Jennifer thinks she wants to go to Vegas... I don't know... girl's crazy!!!!!!

It's after midnight!!! ONE MONTH until my birthday. I can't fucking wait. It's the greatest day that there ever was. I adore it... *sigh* I love Halloween because it's the 31st and it's 31 days until my bday. WOO!

I'm stoked for Thanksgiving this year too. We're gonna have it here and I talked my Mama and Pam into coming over for it, so yay!!! I can't wait!!! It's going to be vegetarian and I was nervous to make a vegetarian dinner for my Dad and step mom because they are the definition of carnivore. LOL But Pam is a mostly vegetarian and my mom used to be, so I know they'll be on board. God, I can't wait!!!

Jennifer gave me an ultimatum today... Ingram Hill on the 18th or shopping Black Friday... I think she'll still let me get a couple things on Black Friday, but I chose Ingram Hill. I am not going to pick shopping over my mens. ;-)

Pic:



God, this sexy.

Abandoned

"If I had a father I might be stronger today,
If I had a brother, maybe I could stay straight,
If I was my mother, I'd get down and pray
And if it wasn't for my sister, I'd be dead today, hey..."

I've been aching to make music lately. *anxious*

Last night was interesting... Well first off - Tuesday night Jenn and I celebrated Matilda's third birthday with a cute little tea party where we had lil homemade pizza's. (English muffins, sauce and cheese. Yum) Afterwards we went over to Jasmine's and watched Shrek 3 and didn't get home until 4a. I just took my house keys off my whole keychain and attached them to my camera because it was easier that way...

Anyhow, so last night Jenn gets home and we're gonna go to the store to get some dinner and I am almost to the door and I was like, "Oh I guess I need keys." And so I go back to my purse and I grab my keychain and go walk out the door and as soon as the door closed behind me I looked down and realized I never put my house keys back on my keychain.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

When Jasmine moved out they changed the top lock, but not the bottom and obviously the bottom lock was all that was locked, but it was about 1:35a and Jasmine and Damon were already asleep... :-(

So we go to the grocery store and use their phone -- we had nothing with us other than money and the keys to the van... Jenn calls the landlady and asks her if on her way to work she can come let us in -- she's a principal @ a school like 2 blocks from us...

We drive back home and try pounding on Jasmine's door again... Nothing...

So then we try all the windows on the house... well I keep them locked for this very reason, LOL... Jenn says her windows are unlocked and I tell her to scale the house then or go steal a ladder. LOL

We talk for a while in the van both sitting up in the front and I ask Jennifer if the middle seats lay down so we can like, make a bed... she goes back there and starts fucking with the seats and we find out the middle seats fold forward and the seats go back and forth -- like forwards backwards... eventually we decide to take a nap and when I get back to the back back of the van I find out that they tilt back...

So I kinda made like a bed back there, but there was about a foot inbetween the seat we were laying on and the seat our feet and legs were on, Jenn seemed comfortable but I'm about 5"s taller than her and I can't sleep on my back so I was on my side and eventually I felt like my hip was gonna break.

There was a blanket in the van and Jenn used her jacket as a pillow, meanwhile my Hello Kitty was still in the van from Vegas and Kitty makes the best pillow. ;-) We slept for a while and I got cold... I saw a school bus go by... eventually the sun came up and Jenn went and knocked on Jasmine's door again -- Damon answered and gave her his keys he still had so we got in a little after 8a.

The landlady never came. I don't know what we would have done if Damon didn't have a key. :-(

Boy! I had to pee!!!

I applied Jennifer for like, a trillion jobs on Career Builder.com and she's had 2 interviews in 2 days and we just set up her acct 3 days ago. She's got tons of call backs. She wants to get the job that she interviewed for today.

It's working for CitiGroup as a financial advisor. She would help people get out of debt, plan retirement, etc... and make $40,000-$60,000/yr to start out.

*gasp*

That's a shit ton of money... to go from what she makes now... well let me put this in perscpective... working at just the one McD she makes $15,360 before taxes/overtime. (She still has yet to get her raise for being a certified manager, she should have gotten it back in August. *mad*) When she has two jobs, it's about $20,000

I think she said the most she ever made was when she was working at Thrifty and she made like $22,000.

Anyhow, so to make $40,000 with one job, whoaaaa. Awesome blossom. I can deal with that. I really hope she gets this job. If not this one she just had an interview to be an executive assistant that makes $12.50/hr. Also she's got an interview with H&R Block where during the tax season she's allowed to work open to close for extra overtime. Awesome. :-) So she's got tons on her plate here and they are ALL 6 steps up from McD. I am so proud...

Annnd, she promised to take me and my friend to PF Changs to celebrate and stuff since if it wasn't for us she wouldn't have gotten all these interviews! WOO!

Tonight?? Wine. I've been all about my wine lately. I probably had three bottles last week... well, doesn't that sound lovely. Haha...

Tomorrow?? Halloween!! Didn't get to carve a pumpkin this year... :-( Maybe I can talk Jennifer into letting me get one tonight and then I'll make seeds and such. YAY! I'm going to Mama's at 430, can't wait to scare the shit outta these lil fools!! WOO!

I've been sooo wanting to get my tattoo and my tragus piercing. Itching... Grrr... I want, want, want.

Anyhow, I reckon I don't have anything to say really and I've just been talking to myself on here recently, so yaaaa...

Pic:



Klariza, amazing photographer and Heath addict.

Clip:



Hilary Duff's new video. Sexxxy. HOT HOT HOT. Watch. You're welcome. ;-)

xoxox

I, Me. You.

Some will strut and some will fret
See this an hour on the stage
Others will not but they'll sweat
In their hopelessness and their rage
Were all the same the men of anger
And women of the page

They published your diary
And that's how I got to know you
The key to the room of your own and a mind without end
And here's a young girl
On a kind of a telephone line through time
And the voice at the other end comes like a long lost friend
So I know Im all right
Life will come and life will go
Still I feel its all right
Cause I just got a letter to my soul
And when my whole life is on the tip of my tongue
Empty pages for the no longer young
The apathy of time laughs in my face
You say each life has its place

The hatches were battened
The thunderclouds rolled and the critics stormed
The battle surrounded the white flag of your youth
If you need to know that you weathered the storm
Of cruel mortality
A hundred years later Im sitting here living proof

So you know you're all right
Life will come and life will go
Still you'll feel its all right
Someone will get a letter to your soul
When your whole life is on the tip of your tongue
Empty pages for the no longer young
The apathy of time laughed in your face
Did you hear me say each life has its place

The place where you hold me
Dark in a pocket of truth
The moon had swallowed the sun and the light of the earth
And so it was for you
When the river eclipsed your life
And sent your soul like a message in a bottle to me
And it was my rebirth

So we know were all right
Though life will come and life will go
Still you'll feel its all right
Someone will get a letter to your soul
Then you know you're all right
(when my whole life is on the tip of my tongue)
Then you feel youre all right
(empty pages for the no longer young)
And your hear dry you eyes
(you said)
And you know its all right
(each life has its place)
And your hear dry your eyes
(you said)
And you know its all right
(each life has its place)
And its all right
(itll be all right)

I'll Be The Melody, You Be My Drum

"She's so magic to me
Strangest things have happened
The way that you react to me
I wanna do something you can't imagine..."

I know I'm getting old... my knees and hips pop all the time. I have had knee issues for the longest time, but it's all getting worse lately. When I'm sitting cross legged my knee will get really tight and I haveeee to stretch it out. The other major concern with it is when I'm laying in bed it needs to be popped nearly constantly.

*worries* That's not good.

Last night we were supposed to do some drinking and more karaoking at Jasmine's but decided to forgo it and turn in early... I think we're going to do that tonight though. Jasmine came by earlier to ask if she could do a couple loads of laundry and expressed that she wanted us to come over and drink tonight and whatnot. :-D

*heavy sigh*

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and while I'm not actually sure where I wanna go with that I felt nearly compelled to tell you.

I've just been thinking so hard about what I want out of life... Unfortunately, most of that has to do with how people perceive me. I listed all those things in my blog the other day of what I want to be "when I grow up", and I really thought that somehow that might help me get closer to touching them.

I really want to be liked... loved... understood. I want to be somebody, but unfortunately you can't be somebody in someone's eyes unless you have a career. It's all defined by what you do. When making small talk, what do you say? "What's your name? What do you do for a living?" That's almost always the 2nd or 3rd question someone asks you... and sure they might not actually give a damn, but it's just what they define you by.

You job speaks levels about you.

"What do you do?"
"I work for McDonalds."
Translation [to them]: "I don't make much money and I don't have many career goals in life. I have never been to college."

"What do you do?"
"I'm a doctor."
Translation: "I make lots of money and I am probably better than you. I don't have time for this conversation."

"What do you do?"
"I'm a teacher."
Translation: "I care more about others than I do about myself and I look forward to shaping the young minds of America."

I've told people when I worked for McDonalds that I worked for McDonalds. I saw the cringe on their face. "Yeah... what do you do there?" Translation: "I feel really bad for you and I'm just trying to keep this conversation going."

When people ask me what I do, I tell them I'm a singer. 99% of them get that twinge in their voice that makes it go up a few notes to indicate their surprise. "Really?! Wow..." Then 70% of them respond back with this question: "Where do you sing?"

What the fuck?

The first couple times that I got that response I was taken aback and unprepared for an answer so, as usual, I pulled something out of my ass... Now I'm prepared.

"Um... *look at them like their stupid* Nowhere... I am/was signed to a record label and am currently recording/writing my album."

"Ohhhh..."

I guess I'm just not like some people and I don't really see the point of them asking that question. Anyhow... I understand that people are "defined" by their jobs, but... why?

I've been getting back into my eBaying again. haha. woo!

Well, I reckon I don't need to type a whole lot here...

Have a good night.

Pic:









Happy third birthday, Matilda! I hope you get [almost] everything you asked for, though I know one thing on your list that you can't have. It must be so hard to celebrate it without your Daddy. I know that he's thinking of you and watching over you on this fabulous day. The birthday's will get better, I promise. My first birthday without both my parents was also my third... Love and hugs.

xoxox

Amen Omen

"I live a hundred lifetimes in a day
But I die a little with every breath that I take..."

What to say, what to say... I'm making chili for dinner tonight... I'm pretty stoked about it, too. LOL I'm not sure that it matters what I say on here anymore because the people that used to comment my blogs all the time, don't anymore -- and I know that people still read it... but yaaar... I comment theirs. Just seems fair, to me. Tit -- tat.

Speaking of tats, I can't wait to get mine, somehow it's gotten pushed back a hundred times and I'm still not sure when I'm getting it. I'm supposed to be getting a couple checks here in the mail for selling my soul to the musical devil but alas... nothing. LOL (Note to self, check up on that...)

Haha, okay so I just called about my checks and I should get them before the end of November, apparently. So it looks like I might be getting a tattoo for my birthday again... that actually sounds like a plan. My birthday is only 35 days away... I hope to get my payments before then, but ehh if I don't.

...Since I'm going to be getting nearly $500 from the musical devil then I think I shall get 2 tattoos... and maybe a piercing... all things I had planned on getting, just might as well get them all at once. LOL

Anyhow, I'm not paying attn anymore, I doubt you are either.

Clip o tha Day:



I love when they told him to hit it "up the path" and he's just shocked. Haha he was still trying to play the ball! LOL Let it go, Justin...

Of course, probably the most annoying thing in this video is when Leticia tells him to have confidence. *growls* Ugaaaah... sorry, did you miss the golf tutorial? It's a silent sport, you aren't supposed to encourage the players during their game. *rolls eyes*

When she did it I would have turned around and smacked her, but I didn't think that would help Justin's game much at all either. LOL

xoxox

I'm Gonna Fight Em Off

"I am the damage, I am the relief
Sometimes I'm people,
I never hoped that I would be
If I take in whatever they turn out
Then what's that gonna make me now?
Don't you understand?
I'm not real anymore,
I am an illusion..."

I am burning my Heath mix CD... songs that can't help but remind me of him. Here's how it goes... some of them were associated with him, some of them were written for him and then some were played at his funeral.

Australia - The Shins
Seven Nation Army - White Stripes
Here Comes The Sun - The Beatles
The Times They Are A Changing - Bob Dylan
The Past and Pending - The Shins
These Days - Powderfinger
Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd
Superstition - Stevie Wonder
River Man - Nick Drake
Morning Yearning - Ben Harper
Bulletproof Weeks - Matt Nathanson
Who You'd Be Today - Kenny Chesney
Ol Man River - Paul Robenson
Crystal - Fleetwood Mac
You Are Mine - Mute Math
Happy Ever After In Your Eyes - Ben Harper

What's your favorite song on the list? Or which song reminds you the most of Heath Ledger?

Well, this morning Jennifer quit her 2nd McDonalds job. She's just been getting more and more burnt out on McD. I don't blame her. From 5a-1230a everyday she lived and breathed McD... she will for a minute get to spend more time with me which makes me happier, but she is looking for another job.

You know, some people get confused and twisted thinking that Jennifer works two jobs to pick up for my slack, or because she doesn't make enough at the first job, which is complete shit. This girl has worked two jobs since she was 16 years old... it's just what she does. She's an Aquarius they're workaholics who don't know how to stop... do you think that Justin works all the time because he needs the money? No... it's just in his nature. If it were up to me she would just work one job because then I would get to spend more time with her... so I hope that I have finally set the record straight.

Imma miss when Jenn quits McD all together... I love free specialty coffees. ;-)

You know, I put an obscene amount of lotion on my feet every night before bed and fuck me, they're dry.

Wanna hear something weird? You don't really have a choice, I'm going to tell you anyhow...

So Bella did something unthinkable the other day -- I'm not going to tell you what it was because it's disgusting... anyhow, so she was a very, very bad girl... so bad that I decided to cage her for a while -- so I put her into her cage and she didn't fight it and she just laid right down and was quiet until Jennifer came home... wtf? I can lock her in the bathroom or something and she will bitch moan and cry until she's unbearable to listen to anymore... Anyone wanna help me out with that?? LOL

I finally loaded my videos from Vegas to my youtube. You can access them through my acct or here's the direct link to what I have. Comments = Love.

Like I Love You, End of Like I Love You, Ayo, This Love, Esmee and Justin's duet, and Cry Me A River. CMAR and Esmee's song with Justin (which he wrote for her new album) are the only full clips.

Let me know what you think... also on my acct there are two Boyz II Men clips. End of the Road and Motown Philly.

So tonight in celebration of Jennifer not having to get up early tomorrow we're gonna get drunk and karaoke with Jasmine and her peeps that are apparently living at her house with her or something... *shrugs* Who knows... More the merrier or something like that.

I've said it for years and years but I'm not an intermediate partier... I like either small groups or 2-4 or huge parties of 20-100... Anywhere from 5-49 people and I just get anxiety, so we'll see how tonight works out, I'm not sure how many people are going to be there... *worries*



Jennifer has decided that she doesn't want to go to NYC for her birthday anymore... I suggested we go to Pebble Beach for the PGA tournament out there once I heard at the golf clinic that Justin was going to be there and so she's pushed NYC back until Heath's birthday... which actually kinda works out for me... I get to see Justin just 10 days or so after his birthday and I get to be "with" Heath on his.

Heath will wait for me.

Okay that last part sounded a lil crazy.

xoxox

When I Grow Up

"When I grow up,
I wanna be famous,
I wanna be a star,
I wanna be in movies..."

Things I want to be when I "grow up"...

Can you believe people still ask me what I wanna be "when I grow up"? When will I be fully grown? 24 in 37 days? 25? 27? Married? No... career.

Things I aspire to be:::

Married
Parent
Singer
Musician
Producer
Actor
Philanthropist
Owner
Rich
Supportive
Dancer
Philosopher
Writer
Journalist
Psychologist
Sober
Director
Photographer
Friend
Beautiful
Honest
Noble
Educated
Designer
Loyal
Lawyer
Entertainer
Californian
Wiser
Loved
Mature
Well traveled
Pink

Is there any way to be all of those things at once? If there is, please tell me what it is, so I can aspire to be that. I am having the hardest time ever trying to find my niche in life... I know that I'm not going to be rich and famous like Justin, and if I did, well then that would just be a blessing, but I honestly don't think that's going to happen -- honestly after my trip to LA all I ever wanted to be was a musician... I just want to complete my album -- I don't NEED the fame. Yes, I want to be rich, but I can make that some other way, it doesn't have to be by fame. To be completely honest, money isn't in the fame business anyhow. There's this old saying from producers and managers in entertainment to singers/musicians "I get to be rich, you get to be famous."

I would much rather have money than fame. I could care less about fame. I really enjoy my anonymity, honestly. Although there are times that I dream of the famous life, I more-so want the house in the hills, the Mercedes and the BMW, the jewelry and the invites to all the parties, money can buy me that, but fame cannot.

It's only 37 days until my birthday and every year that I get older it forces me to think about my future and what I want to do with my life... every year no matter what I seem to be in the same place as I was last year. Although I am closer to the end of my life than I was last year, I am closer to marriage, closer to kids, closer to desperate than I was last year... I am closer to everything, but one thing I am not closer to is a career -- sure, like I mentioned, singer/entertainer --- but where's the bread winner part? Where's my money?

Whom I Adore:



Justin: Fought for what he wanted his entire life, didn't let anyone tell him no. Lived practically the same life as me as far as family goes -- Musician, Singer, Actor, Philanthropist, Producer, Owner, Designer, Rich, Mature, Well traveled, Loved, Californian, Designer, Dancer... He never stops, he always wants more, always wants to better himself.



Heath: His parents, teachers and everyone didn't believe that he could do it and didn't believe he would ever make it as an actor. They all believed he sucked -- Actor, Philanthopist, Parent, Rich, Well traveled, Loved, California, Director, Photographer, Sober, Beautiful, Californian...

What to do?

xoxox

Jodie Platz

Love?

His name pops up and my heart is in my stomach
I long and wish to look into his lovely eyes
If the miles were minutes he would still be a lifetime away
Forcing me to sit here and wait
My patience wears thin
As he smiles at me from the other end
How can I contain my love for this man?
This man who makes me feel like a woman should,
I look up to him and stop breathing,
For someone so normal,
He hides his power over me
I never got to say goodbye,
I am just holding onto our last kiss
I count the days until I see him next
Until then I'll pretend to cross the desert abyss

Brrrrrr!!

"You sit there and call me, a liar and a cheat,
I just wish you'd pin the rose on me,
Now you won't even come out and take a bow
Crying won't help you now..."

(I wish that was a whole song instead of an interlude. I adore it.)

When I woke up it was 53 degrees in the house... That's fucking cold, y'all. It was 51 outside. Ya, ya... time to turn on the heat. :-( I did.

Jenn and I bought a couch and a chaise yesterday... say whatthefuck? Yeah... it was an impulse buy, if you believe that. Haha... It's being delivered today, I believe... Between 2 and 4... why do they do that shit?! Crazy.

The couch is black, which should go nicely with the blonde dog we have. haha... the chaise is zebra. Hahaa... I usually abstain from animal prints, but it called my name loudly... "JODIEEEE! TAKE MEEEE!" and so I said "okay, zebra chaise, I shall take you home and call you mine..." It has black and zebra pillows. I can't wait to get it.

Then tonight we're going to actually try and move some shit around so we can have a proper living room and such.

I made lasagne the other night... I guess that was Wednesday. Jenn loves my lasagne and I don't make it very often, because it's actually pretty expensive to make... Next time I make lasagne I told her I was going to try something different. I was going to make my alfredo sauce and alternate layers with red sauce, plus ricotta, cottage cheese, italian cheeses, spinach and tomato slices...

I've never tried it before, but it sounded like a good idea. haha...

38 days until my birthday... Jesus... can you believe how close that is? That's pretty fucking crazy. Jenn and I have been bouncing things around to do for my birthday. I would like to have my housewarming party before my birthday... speaking of which, tomorrow is Stephy's housewarming/birthday party... she's the person who introduced Jennifer and I and amazingly enough, I remembered to text her on her birthday which was the 18th - when I was in Vegas. I think it probably helped that I had to text Rae the day before so I was in full birthday mode. haha

SO my birthday... let's see... dinner. Um, where do I wanna go for dinner? Originally I thought about Kona Grill... which still sounds really great, I've never been there. I also thought of PF Changs... which I fucking love... sooo delish. Um... I think those are the only two places I'm interested in at the moment.

Drinks and such... Ummmm... Velvet Dog, which I've never been to but back in 2002 just a week or so after my 18th birthday Uncle Kracker's crew asked me to take em there. Haha, he got on the table, kissed me and started to beg. It was pathetic and awesome. The Empire Room is open for dancing across the street from the Dog and then there's this -- http://www.martinicorner.com/ Which is 5 bars all in the same block. Never been to a-one of em, but who knows. Birthday, right?!?

Now what do I want for my birthday? Last year I asked for pink and Playboy stuff... This year... oh this year... um... well I have a few things that I really want: the iPod touch, gym membership, ANYTHING Heath, booze, glasses to put booze in, a magic bullet (the kitchen appliance, not the vibrator LOL) DVDs, pink and shiney things, a new Chihuahua, a cat, a bunny rabbit, a keyboard, new microphone, mic stand, PS2 and Guitar Hero... and of course anything I don't get for my birthday, just carry that on to xmas.

Anyhow... I think I already know one gift I'm getting from Jennifer. She's so bad at surprises. Just one I would love to be surprised.

Jennifer and I have been talking about our trips we're taking within the next few months. After we get back from our February trip(s) we're going on lockdown to save for Vegas 09 -- which actually, in the car on Wednesday we were talking about how much it would cost to do Vegas the way we really wanted to and I think the number we came up with was $4000, which surprised the hell outta me since that's not that much money... But I'm not sure if that included Timbertix and we're not sitting in the last row this next year, so we'll pretend that number is $5000 -- which still isn't that much money, I don't think.

Speaking of cash money, yo -- I'm sure I mentioned it somewhere in here but I'm going to start watching Jasmine's kids. She gets help from the state for childcare and so she has to pay me $5 out of pocket for them each day (per kid) and then I get a check in the mail for the rest of it, of course no matter how many times I ask, I can't seem to find an answer on how much that will be. LOL Well, it's more than nothing.

I did Jenn's hair last night... I know what you're thinking, didn't you just do it before Vegas? Yes, sir I did... but Jenn insisted on buying the cheap red dye for her hair and it was practically washed out by the time the end of the week came along... then after seeing Rachael (she always does this...) she wanted to go black. So voila! Jenn's got black hair again. I like her black her, it's hot and hella easier than her stupid blonde and red shit. I fucking hate doing that, but hey, I'm good at it.

Next Wednesday (I believe) I'm doing my hair... I'm not gonna tell ya what I'm doing either, unless I already did... hahaha I had a dream about it in Vegas and ever since then I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I can't fucking wait!!! AHH! It's gonna be sexxxual.

Pic O Tha Day:



I've been neglecting him. I miss you.

xoxox

Home At Last

"I try to think about rainbows,
When it gets bad,
You've got to think about something,
To keep from going mad
I try to think about big fat roses,
When the shit starts going down,
But my head is wicked jealous,
Don't wanna talk about it right now..."

We got home last night a little before 2a and I was smothered in Bella kisses. I am so thankful that Kristi watched the Bella while we were gone... I missed her terrible.

So lets see... my last blog was after the concert and the golf clinic... there's a picture floating around of Justin and I at the golf clinic, which is super cool. I just might have to make that one of my pics of the day.

As I mentioned in my last blog, I got Justin to sign my pass, but I still need to take a picture of that... geez, I have loads I need to take pics of...

Speaking of pics, I loaded most of them to my myspace. I still need to lighten and watermark some of them and I promised two Justin sites I would send them copies, so geez... so much to do!

Alrighty, the golf clinic and when Jenn got her pic with Justin was on Saturday and then Sunday, the final day - Jenn wasn't scheduled to work, but decided to anyhow -- seriously, this girl goes on "vacation" and works 6 days. That's ridiculous. (Btw, it's not "vacation" if there's a concert or Timberlake involved. He's work.)

Sunday was the final day - for whatever reason I didn't sleep very well on Saturday night and finally I went to bed 2 hours before I was supposed to get up... I set my alarm and was planning on being at the tournament at 11 or so... I hear my phone alarm go off and I was so tired that I was just like, "fuck it." and went back to sleep... a little while later I hear Leticia rumbling through things in the hotel room and I'm half awake - then I hear my text go off and Jenn says the defining words. "He's here."

I lunge out of bed and get ready in record time, looking pretty close to the best I've looked all week if I say so myself... and I get out the door and all that within like 10 minutes. I decided to go in the volunteer entrance because then I would be able to take my camera and cell phone -- otherwise they would have taken them from me, even though I have credentials. Bastards.

So I get in there and Justin's nowhere to be found... so I hang out with my new kid BFF's Nicole and Amanda who seem to adore me. They were pretty awesome and I have pics of them on my myspace. Their mom is who I was riding with when I said hey to Chris.

I have some lunch and head back to where Jenn was working as she was getting off work then we wander up to The Hill where I see my future ex-husband. His name is Paul and he's from Liverpool. I adore him. Later on, Jenn told me he's deporting in three years -- unless he finds a wife. I got right on that. hahaa...

Anyhow, Jenn and I are walking around and as we passed Justin's tent where he usually was hanging out if he wasn't on the course... I said, "Look in there and see if he's there..." as we passed it, I said, "was he?" She said she didn't look and as I turned back to look, his mom was enterting the tent. That's when I decided to camp it outside for the rest of the day. haha, I don't remember what time that was.

As Paul was about to go into the tent we asked if we could get a picture with him. He was very nice to me, yet again... Asked us how we were and what we had been up to and such...

Not long after, here comes Timbercrew. Nicole was sitting on my lap and I just plain lifted her up and set her on the grass next to me. Haha...

Justin's walking this way and I said to him, "Justin, can I please get a picture with you..." his bodyguard answered and said, "not right now, we'll be out in a few minutes and you can get one then." Justin stopped and said, "No, I can take one now..."

Perfect. Words.

So, I'm like, going to stand by him and he keeps moving around... (I think he was trying to find shade...) and so then I said, "right here..." as I pointed to Jenn holding the camera and I wrapped my paw around him. (My favorite part of the photos. hehee...) I may have caught him off gaurd or something, because then he said, "oh, alright then..." and laughed as Jenn was freaking taking the photo... so, I'm all smiles and he's mid-sentence in the pic... oh well, it's still adorable.

Right after the pic was taken he went inside. He didn't sign or take pics with anyone else for the rest of the day. I was it. How sweet was he to stop for me? The sweetest...

So then I of course look at the picture and it's fucking dark. I mean, like, dark dark. I can't see shit. I can kinda see me, but he's in a shadow of a tree and I can't see him at all. So then I start to curse myself, and Jenn, and Justin... and nature. (Nicole, 11, not so happy about this and keeps correcting me for saying "damn". LOL)

So now the plan is that when Justin comes back outside to ask him for another one and apologize because the first one didn't turn out. So we wait... and wait... and wait... and finally he comes back outside and by that time (2 hours later and a Pink's chili cheese dog -- for him, not me. LOL) I am okay and at peace with my photo. I am good at Photoshop and I need to be happy that I at least was lucky enough to GET the picture in the first place...

He comes out at like 430 or so to head to the awards ceremony after Marc Turnessa cleaned house... I set my camera on continuous and just took a shit ton of pics as he walked. Haha... fun stuff. He goes into the roped off area and then after he's gone and whatnot we ask our friend/other volunteer if we can use the restroom -- not to get into the area that Justin's in, we just really had to go. Haha... so we're like, standing there waiting for her to let us in and Mike (one of Justin's bodyguards) is all, "you guys are sneaky, get back here..." We had been chatting with him for several hours, since, well... there wasn't anything else to do. LOL We told him, "no no no, we're not trying to like, get in there... we just have to use the bathroom." So he gives us this look like, "I don't know..." then laughs and says, "well you've got the credentials, so go."

That was the nicest porta-potty I've ever peed in. Wow. Still small, but wow. (Pics on myspace)

After the tournament and awards were over there was a final volunteer party... 2 kegs. Say no more, I'll be there. We went down there and waited for Marc to show up -- Justin was invited, but was exhausted and didn't come... but, I got Marc's autograph on my volunteer credential and I got wasted with Paul and Phil... I had so much fun!!!

This was an amazing week, not only because I got to spend nearly every day with Justin, but because I met some great people... made some friends that I will stay in touch with, helped out some AMAZING children that truly touched my heart and I actually fell in love with golf.

I can't wait for next years event! I can't wait to get more involved locally with the Shriner's, some children's hospitals and golf events...

Pic of the Day:



Justin and I as he handed out xbox's to the Shriner's kids.



Justin and I on the final day of the tournament. :-) We got our pic the first day, and the last day! YAY!

xoxox

Hallelujah

"Sucker love is heaven sent
You pucker up our passions spent
My hearts a tart, your body's rent
My body's broken, yours is bent
Carve your name into my arm
Instead of stressed I lie here charmed,
Cuz there's nothing else to do,
Every me and every you"

So last night was the concert/after party at Prive. It was all definitely an experience... we got to Planet Hollywood after feeling like we were going to throw up... well at least Jennifer and I.

I get so nervous and worked up to see Justin sometimes that it makes me literally sick. I love this man with everything I have and the fact that this is the ONLY show we'll get to see of him this year and until next year -- that makes me sick...

So we get to Planet Hollywood and we had decided earlier instead of coming home at 7a to just go ahead and take the 1a shuttle back to the hotel. We got to our seats and as we came to them we said "OMG". Not a good OMG, an OMG-we're-in-literally-the-last-row, OMG. haha... we knew the seats weren't going to be that great, but I did expect there to be rows behind us. It actually turned out to be a good thing because I could record videos all I wanted and no one was there to bother me.

We had a fantastic view. The venue only holds 7500 people, so it was a pretty small show. All the people in front of us were in their 30s and didn't care to stand up, so standing was optional which I didn't do for much of the show except Rihanna and Timberlake.

Jonas Brothers came on first and oh geez... I sat there and said to Jennifer "what is happening?" LOL Nick is TOO whiney. It's just plain wrong. They sang 4 songs... Next was Stomp! That was a nice surprise... very very cool. Leona Lewis came out and sang 3 songs, she was very awkward but sounded great.

Esmee came out next and sang 2 songs, including one with Justin which I recorded -- she seemed too nervous.

Justin had his fun introducing Boyz II Men, who were amazing... it was like they were 10 years ago... crazy. They're amazing.

Rihanna opened with Rehab, which was wonderful... unfortunately she didn't sing "Disturbia" which I was looking forward to and I was going to record for Gemma. :-(

There was a small intermission and then Justin came out and opened with Like I Love You. I thought he was going to do a short set, like 5 or so songs, but he practically did his whole FSLS set list. Adam "This Love" with him, Justin got to sing all the dirty lines. I loved it.

50 Cent came out and did the intro to Sexy Ladies, then they sang Ayo and then Justin left and 50 performed a song I didn't know and In Da Club, which I recorded part of it because go shorty, it was Rachel's bday. ;-)

Justin came back on and forgot the lyrics to LoveStoned. That was kinda weird, actually... he had been drinking on stage, so we'll pretend that's why. haha...

We started to leave right after SexyBack, before which Justin joked that this was the last time he was going to sing this song... what do I see all over today's headline's? "Timberlake Retires SexyBack at Charity Concert"

*rolls eyes a hundred times.* People just don't get his sense of humor.

I get it.

Anyhow, so we're heading out when he heads to the piano. I wasn't pleased to be leaving early, but I did not want to stay on the strip until 7a... the opening chords of Easy resound and I stop dead in my tracks.

First time I saw Justin sing Easy was in Vegas in January 07 and I bawled like a little baby. It's one of my absolute favorite songs and was tied to the end of Take It From Here which is my Justin song... Easy has always reminded me of Justin -- so he started to just sing it and I died.

We walked down a bit and stood near the exit to our level and watched him bring Lionel on stage to sing with him. I cried... of course... haha... I saw Lionel perform in 2004, I think it was... that or 2003. He's legendary, AND, he's a Shriner.

Finally Justin starts What Goes Around and Jenn practically pushes me out and is like, "Now we really have to go." I was walking out but as I did, my feet and my heart knew that I was doing something wrong... I kept saying, "no, no... this is wrong, this is wrong..." and finally we get fucking outside and thennnnn Leticia is like, "if you wanna stay I can pay for the cab back..."

okaaaaay... so now I just missed What Goes Around and Until The End Of Time for no reason... but yet I was happy that we were going to go to his after party...

We head over to Prive and it's complete chaos. There was absolutely no order whatsoever, everyone was just crowding around the entrance. We had bought tickets to the after party the week before we came, and we had the confirmation number and whatnot, and so did the rest of the people around us, the problem was they were letting people in who weren't on the list at all...

I could probably go on for an hour about what happened outside Prive. There were douches there who didn't know how to run their shit... I stood right by Esmee for a few minutes, which was cool... um... very long story short, we get in at like 130 or something... we see Chris, will.i.am is the DJ (which was loud) and Justin arrived at like 2 something.

Justin arrived and kept his back to the crowd, which I expected. haha... Leticia [poor thing] actually thought Justin was going to socialize or something... Um, no. This wasn't "invite only" had it been like that, perhaps he would have said some words to people, but no -- just as I expected, he stayed in his little area while we stayed in ours.

As Jenn and I were headed for the bathroom (staring at the back of his head gets old quick, I don't care who you are...) Jenn was fucking booking it and I pulled her back and I was like, "Chris..." haha he was standing right there and she just passed him... kinda funny. I leaned in and said "Happy Birthday, baby!!" He said "thanks sweetheart" and then I asked if we could get a pic with him... I told Jennifer she could go first since last time we met Chris in 2005 I ran up to Chris and got a pic with him as he was getting in a cab and she didn't get her pic with him... anyhow so she gets her pic with him and then I do.

Afterwards I mentioned that today was also my BFF Rachel's birthday, but she couldn't be here because she's underage and in Ohio and he laughed and told me to tell her happy birthday for him and that "Libra's are cool." haha...

I took a ton of pics of everything and I'm in the process of loading them up to my myspace, there's no way I can post them all here -- it's just not going to happen, so if you're not a friend on my 'space, you're not going to see them except for the few I decide to make pic's o tha day... sorry... kinda. ;-)

Anyhow, what I was going to say about the pics is that some of them (like ones from nighttime on the strip, or at the concert) are a little too dark so I need to adjust them, so those are going to be the ones loaded last. I can't be bothered to do that shit right now, that's probably going to get done either in the airport on Monday or Tuesday when I'm home spending time with mia Bella.

Be patient and keep checking back.

So I started this blog this morning and then I had to leave to go to work the golf clinic with Justin, which was super cool. I got to meet all these Shriner's kids. They were absolutely wonderful. No matter how sick they are, or what had happened to them in their past, they have these wonderful high spirits.

There was this little girl named Gracie who was just a treat. She said to me, "guess what? Justin put his arm around me twice!" I told her that she was super lucky and I showed her my picture that I got with him on Monday, she said "I have two pictures with him!" hahaa... it was adorable. I didn't feel like upstaging a little girl, so I let her win. ;-)

She told me she's going to go to Stanford and be a lawyer like her big sister. The way she talked about her dreams for the future made me admire her so much.

The kids got to meet Justin and then we gave them all hot dogs, fruits, chips and water... later we passed out Krispy Kreme donuts and "Kid Fuel". (Which is apparently an energy drink for kids... I don't know...)

Later we took them all into the driving range and I got to sit right behind the Shriners kids for the whole clinic which was super cool because no one told me where I should be, I kinda just picked a spot. LOL I was sitting right by Johnny, his wife and his little boy and girl, who were too adorable...

Lynn and Paul (which I actually spoke briefly to Paul earlier in the day) were right behind me and Lynn and I kept laughing at all of Justin's stupid jokes. When Justin wasn't golfing he came and sat right by Johnny, which, as I mentioned -- was right by me. ;-)

Justin did great at the golf clinic... I thought it was going to be more hands on, but it was more about the pros teaching Justin, which -- he's very open to correction. "It felt so right to do it the wrong way" haha, now that I write that out it sounds dirty. LOL Butch Harmon gives Justin private lessons, and I can't remember the name of the golfer, but there was another pro and Justin goes, "does he charge as much as you do?" LOL

It was very cool, I was very, very lucky to be there for that and to get to sit right on the field with them.

After it was over Justin handed out xbox's to all the Shriner's kids. You should have seen Gracie's face!!!!! I got a little teary eyed...

It was a wonderful day -- at the end we handed out water bottle gifts to all the kids and there were extras so I got some for Jennifer and Leti. After we handed out water bottles and whatnot, I got Justin to sign my badge -- which, I got "Justin Timberlake" -- he had just been signing his first name the whole week, so I feel really lucky. I hadn't seen many "Justin Timberlake's" at all, honestly.

Everyone was hanging out to get to meet Justin later (and by everyone, I mean like 10 people because he sat there and talked to this guy for an hour...) So we're all standing there waiting for him to stop talking and I said, "we should go wait by his car..." because, well... he has to get in his car. LOL So we go down there and he walks towards us and the goal is to get Jennifer her first picture with Justin... he's talking to Sonya and Jenn's all "Justin... Justin" and the bodyguard stops!! Hahaha... that was weird... I said, "speak up!" "Justin, can I get my picture with you?" "Sure" and sure enough, woo!!!! Jenn has completed the five!!!!! (A lot with my help, if you ask me, but I'm so proud of her!!!)

We're very happy... twas a successful week and we still have one more day with Justin!!!

xoxox

Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This

"On my way I'll take the sunshine,
And on my way I'll take your dreams
On my way I'll say I'm sorry to no one but me..."

I worked my first day of work yesterday... I was really scared that when they said I was going to be doing parking that I would be directed traffic, which is unfortunately what Leticia got stuck doing all day... but Jennifer and I got to drive golf carts all day taking the amateurs from their cars with their clubs to the clubhouse... and yes, Justin and all the celebrities on the roster for the Pro Am are amateurs. ;-)

So I get there at 5a after only sleeping 2 hours... not pleased... find out what I'm going to be doing and I claim my golf cart... I never thought of a name for her, but I think she was an Angela. LOL

We had a list of which celebs were on what teams and what their tee times were. Jenn was tagging their bags with their names and their tee times and then I was taking them to the club house and answering any questions they had. It was a group of 8 or so total for the parking lot...

So first off I was super excited for the fact that I might get to meet Josh Duhamel. There was this guy, Eddie, who was running it all and he took Justin to the club house on Monday and said he chatted with him about golf and that he was really cool. There was this other girl (she told me her name twice, but I don't care to remember it, so I called her "icky girl") and she was working on Monday as well and she was mad at Eddie because she was supposed to drive Justin... yeah, well too damn bad. haha

So I told everyone I met him on Monday and how nice he was, showed them my pic and stuff and Eddie was like, "when he comes up here, I will send you." so I said something to Icky Girl about how I was gonna drive Justin and she said "you already met him once, that's not fair... we'll see." (So, ya, she didn't know that Monday was probably the 10th time that I had met Justin and that I was on his HBO special. haha.) And I told Jennifer that I was not afraid to "tho down." LOL

I couldn't stop thinking about it, though... what was this girl going to say to him? "OMG! I LOVE YOU!!" Justin's gonna hop out of the cart...

ANYHOW... I was waiting for Josh because he had a 7:10 tee time and as time ticked closer and closer to his tee time I worried that he wasn't there yet... I never did get to see Josh, or Josh Kelley because they did what they weren't supposed to do... just go in without checking in. Bastards. LOL

So Eddie was super excited because he wanted to drive George Lopez... well by the time it was his tee time Eddie had gotten called to be a caddy because they were short on caddies and George didn't even show up or call to say he wasn't coming!!

I missed Eddie all day long because he seemed to genuinely be on my side with Justin. But there was a guy named Paul from Liverpool with the thickest accent I've ever fucking heard... he was cool but he was kinda a loof... he would drive off to the driving range (we weren't supposed to go down there unless we were taking someone...) and he took pics of Justin with his cell phone... But wait... we aren't even to Justin's arrival yet, are we?

So after I knew Josh was already inside teeing off, I was looking forward to Justin, Chris and Luke Wilson's arrival.

This huge black Escalade pulls through the parking lot and my stomach drops because I instantly knew it was Justin. Sure enough it's him and I'm dropping someone's bags off at where they keep the golf clubs until play... so as I'm driving back he's walking towards me... okay, do something... say something... you'll kill yourself if you don't say something...

"Good luck today, Justin" I said.
"Thank you very much." He replied.

YAY! Then I was all smiles for a while. YAY!!

Jenn's experience with him was actually cooler than mine, although I was in a golf cart when I saw him, which is pretty fancy if you ask me. Haha...

So there were three people tagging golf bags and ALL THREE (including Jenn) sprint up to the front to want to tag Justin's. She's literally standing inches from the man and she says, "can I tag your clubs for you?" and he looks at her (with these total stunna shades, btw) and says "oh I need clubs for this?" and she kinda just stares at him and then he says, "I'm joking." LMFAO. Oh Jenn... hahaha... and then he points off into the distance and says that another car has his clubs.

So after Justin was there (oh which btw, we were offered to take our breaks and Jenn and I both didn't want to take a break until after Justin got there... Icky Girl took her break before Justin got there and totally missed his arrival... wow, she must not have done this very often.) I was looking forward to Chris' arrival... I just kept asking, "has Chris checked in yet?" People must have thought I was crazy... ohhhh, and I totally had to explain to everyone who Chris was. *sad*

So I'm scooting around like a mad woman after this asshole in a black Mercedes parks his car RIGHT IN FRONT of where the golf carts are supposed to go to get through and I'm trying to find another way to go around, because I'm apparently the only one who cared about that at all and finally I just moved the gate. LOL So I'm driving back to get in line with the other golf carts and Icky Girl drives past me with Luke Wilson in her car (he doesn't look pleased. LOL) and she gives me the end all be all of looks... she looked at me like, "oh yaaaa, that's right bitch, I've got Luke in myyyy car." and I look back at her like, "So?" LOL

Luke Wilson is awesome, he's by far the better brother, but c'mon --- Justin?! hahaaaa... I wouldn't trade my 4 words to Justin and his 4 words back to have Luke ride with me. You can have Luke.

These two huge black SUV's and a white van all pull up at the same time and inside I thought, "maybe Chris is in one of them... if not Chris it's someone important" and so I pull up in my cart next to the SUV as Ellen DeGeneres steps out with Portia.

I freeze.

She looks right at me and says, "hello." and smiles. I smile back and mumble something like "hi."

They step out with film crew and an entourage bigger than Justin's. (Portia is absolutely gorgeous in person. Her smile is heaven.) They pulled up to the front so they didn't need anyone to take them inside, plus, Ellen wasn't playing.

I drive back and park by Jenn who had to jump in and help drive people because we lost 3 of our people who had to be caddies. She gives me this smile like, "OMG you met Ellen!" and I just burst into tears... I tried not to, I really did -- but I couldn't help it... it's Ellen. She's one of those people that I never imagined that I would meet and one of the ones that means so much to me.

I think it's more about my mom, you know? I adore Ellen, my mom adores Ellen -- we quote her all the time to each other. "You lil goat!"

Later on Paul Harless arrived because he was actually playing in the tournament as well, and when I was looking at the list of players I am unsure on how I missed his name on the list. When he arrived I booked it over there because I wanted to drive him, of course. No one got to drive him, but I did chat with him for two seconds and then I took who was the lead player of the game which arrived with him. She was hella nervous and very pretty. She said that she wanted to throw up... I told her to breathe... LOL I think she was in 2nd place at the end of the day.

So later on I ate my lunch with Jenn (vegetarian wrap, twas amazing... hummus and sprouts!!) and then it was time for the first round of golfers to be over and we had to take them back to their car and drop off their clubs and then back to the clubhouse for dinner... well all the players that were coming out were either Pro's (which we weren't supposed to drive because they had caddies for that) or they wanted to walk.

This chick came up to me (other volunteer) and asked if I knew where a bathroom was... I said that I did and that I would take her there since I didn't have anything else to do. So I took her to the volunteer bathrooms which aren't port-a-potty's. LOL And then she went in to the volunteer tent to get a box lunch for a security guard on the Hill... meanwhile we were chatting about Justin and whatnot... she asked me if I was active in Pro Ams and whatnot in Kansas City and said, "No my BFF and I are here for Justin..." so then I told her about meeting him on Monday and whatnot...

She asked me if I could drive her up to The Hill (which is super far to walk) and I told her that I could - so I drive her up there and she runs the food into the Hill to the security guard and comes back out and asks me to drive her down to the 1st hole where her daughter was...

On the way down to the first hole I spot Chris walking towards me... So I slow down the cart and say "Hi Chris!" and wave and he smiles and says, "hey, what's up? How are you?" and I think I said "Good." LOL Then of course I freaked the fuck out because I finally got to see Chris!! :D

Later on Leticia (who got off at noon and then decided to go back) and Staci (who Jenn and I have been online friends with and just now met for the first time) both said that Chris was ignoring all fans and didn't sign autographs or take photos. When people would hollar at him he would ignore them... So, even though that completely sucks, I'm glad that I said something to him and that he replied cheerfully. He looked fantastic.

However, later on I wish I would have said "happy early birthday..." Ahhh, next time.

Jenn and I got off work early and chatted with Staci and he friend, whom I believe was named Tammy? I think... haha and then we chatted with the Brit, Paul and finally Eddie came up to us at the end of the day and said "so did you ever get to meet him?" and we told him about our day with him. He said he took pics on his phone of him and I asked him to email them to me and he gave me his card and told me to call him... on his card? He words for Wells Fargo as the assistant vice president financial consultant -- if that's not a job title I don't know what is... Jesus.

Anyhowwwww... Jenn and I got off work and I hitched a ride on the back of a golf cart to the entrance -- it was awesome to just hang on and ride with the wind in my hair. We got back to the hotel and completely crashed. Just fell right asleep... later Staci and crew came over and talked for a minute and then they took the shuttle to the strip because they're staying at Planet Hollywood.

Leticia went to sleep at 830 or 9 and Jenn and I had a couple drinks, went down to the hot tub, saw Justin on the local news, and went to bed about 1030.

Tonight I think we're going out. Tomorrow does be Timbershow and after party... Saturday I think we're going out... fuck, we should go out Sunday too... why not? We're leaving Monday.

I'm so tired.

Pic of the Day:



I loves that man.

...more now than ever.

xoxox
















...but for those who are going to worry -- it's a different love than it's ever been. ;-)

I Want A New Drug

"I'm sorry bout the attitude
I need to give when I'm with you
But no one else will
Take this shit from me..."

Alright, alright, alright... everyone keeps asking about Justin, so let me just say all the Justin stuff once and for all so I don't need to explain it over and over and over again...

Yesterday Jennifer had to work her first shift and she text me and said that Justin was playing golf today! I knew he would be there but I didn't know if he was playing or not... anyhow, she text me later and said she was chatting away with Tony -- my favorite of Justin's bodyguards and that he was so cold he was threatening to quit and being all around funny... anyhow... later she texts me and says that she saw Justin when he arrived since she was working registration and that he said "good morning" to her...

So we get there and Justin's already on like hole 3 or 4... well that's really far away so we meet him at the end of hole 8 an hour later... his game wasn't going to well, but I can't really blame it on him, it was very windy outside.

We follow him for a while and on hole 9 he hit it out by the bushes and had to come over by where I was standing... he was joking that he "had to get the crowd involved..." then everyone was trying to give him advice on how to hit it and one person said "just hit it up the path..." and he said "up the path!?" (I got all this on video...) and finally he hit it and it landed in a bush. LOL He took his practice swings right in front of me. ;-)

On hole 10 he was very proud of himself... I saw Jess and Rachael follow him through some of the course on their own golf cart. Tony was joking "if Justin walks, we walk..." Justin walked all 18 holes.

He sat down once and had a Power Bar.

We caught up with him again at the 18th hole where he didn't seem to happy with the way his game had been playing... after he completed the course he came over into the crowd and took 4 or 5 pics... one was for me and one was for Leticia... so if that tells you anything... there weren't a whole lot of people there and he didn't stop for many of them. (I even saw Jess sign a few autographs... but I just left her alone.)

So I ask him for his photo as he's looking right at me and Leticia goes and gets her pic with him first and I was reaching for her camera, but she was just sitting there posing and Justin says "well somebody has to take it!" [irritated] and so I said, "well then I guess that's me." -- Later Leticia was like, "did you take the pic with my camera or yours? I can't find it..." I said, "yeah, well you didn't give me your camera."

Anyhow... so Leticia was done and I handed her my camera, because I'm good like that and Justin put out his arm so I could stand next to him -- that was just the sweetest thing in the whole world. *beams* He put his hand on my side/hip and I wrapped my paw around him --- his sweater was the softest thing I've ever felt in my life... we took the picture and then I looked him straight in the eyes and I said "thank you." and he smiled and said "no problem". :-) His eyes were particularly blue yesterday.

I reckon that's all. I adore my photo. I'm so happy I could pee... wait... I think I did.



Sunday when we got here I took this pic of Jennifer... I love it. :-)



She's gorgeous.

Hope you're having fun out there! I don't have to return to reality until Monday! WOO! Tomorrow is the celebrity pro am and my first day of work.

xoxox

Y'all Still Want Me To Come With Ya?

"Bright light city gonna set my soul,
Gonna set my soul, on fire
There's a whole lotta money that's ready to burn
So set those stakes up higher,
There's a thousand pretty women
Just waiting out there
They're all living, devil may care,
I'm just the devil with love to spare,
VIVA LAS VEGAS!!"

Well, kids, it's FINALLY fucking here. I remember when it was 11 months, I remember when it was 6 months, 3 months and then this last week... it's all flown by so quickly.

Here I am doing my report for the airport.

We haven't been to bed. We both packed hella in our 2 suitcases and had to take some out because it all wouldn't fit... when we finally got to the airport this morning Southwest wasn't even open... which doesn't really make sense. I've gotten here when it was this early before and they were open, so fuck -- why?

Anyhow... I had a really hard time leaving Bella this morning. :-( She just sat on the end of the couch and wagged her tail at me... she had no idea what I was about to do. I will miss her and think of her every day. :-(

We're going to watch The Dark Knight on the plane ride, I believe... but I brought ALL my Heath movies with me! YAY! Hope Leticia is in the mood for some Heath!!

As soon as we land? Yup, I'm getting drunk.

Pic:



xoxox

Holy Elvis, Batman!

"Guess I wasn't the best one to ask,
Me myself with my face pressed
Up against love's glass
To see the shiny toy I've been hoping for
The one I never could afford,
The wide world spins and spits turmoil
And the nation's toil, for peace
The pause of fear upon your chest,
Only love can soothe that beast,
And my words are paper tigers
No match for the predator of pain inside her..."

Good God. I am so unprepared to go to Vegas. There's still a load of laundry to do, packing to do and although Jennifer finally did my hair this morning (she didn't get home until 330 last night because of retarded McDonalds. I am all in favor of her quitting!) well when Jennifer pulled my hair through the cap, she missed some crucial spots along my part and it looks retarded so tonight she is bringing me another kit so we can fixy.

I still have to do my nails and toes, Jenn has to do hers... I have to straighten my hair, but that won't be until after I fix my hair tonight of course... I just baked Kristi's cake -- oh geez what else? I'm not sure what I'm wearing to the airport... we're leaving for the airport at 4a... I think I mentioned that... well technically we're leaving for Kristi's house at 4a... which, knowing us we'll be packing up until then.

I'm going to try and take a nap here soon. I'm going to need rest.

Oh, guess what I have?! I have The Dark Knight on DVD!! :-) I also has happies! I told Rachel that I would try and figure out how to burn it for her for her birthday, unfortunately I think it's got protection on it, but I'll try and see. :-(

Jenn and I watched Casanova while she pulled my head through the cap today. LOL She liked it. ;-) Who wouldn't?!

Oh, haaaay Rae -- you still need to go rent Candy... and I'm thinking it should be this week, yes?

Ohhhh, Imma miss mia Bella. :-( Just kinda realizing I won't see her for 8 days... that's the longest I've gone... Sort of tragic.

Geez, all I can think of is how much I want to be in Vegas. It's so so so close, yet then so so so far. Ahh fuck me. As soon as we land I'm drinking. I plan on being drunk for 8 days straight. God, I can't wait.

Oh right, also as Jenn was leaving for work I got a call from someone from the tournament saying they decided they weren't using volunteers for the draw/pairings party at all now. :-( I cried... broke my heart... it's what I was most looking forward to. But! They signed me up for working the shuttle on Thursday, I have to say this "blurb" and then press play on a video of Justin. LOL How hard is that? LMAO... please text me on Thursday, I'll be bored.

Pic of the Day:



Imma miss him while I'm with Justin. :-(

xoxox

This Is For The Questions That Don't Have Any Answers

"You are no what you seem
You are a mystery to me
Sometimes I just wanna scream
I think you should just go away, cuz
There's no necessity for you to stay, and
Next time you come around my way
Forget it baby, you're not coming in
A hot minute for a life of sorrow,
No you can't come back tomorrow,
Shut my windows and lock my doors
Cuz my heart won't be your ragdoll anymore..."

Two freaking days... only one sleep tho. LOL Here's how my time will be going.

Jenn will be home at 1:30a or a lil after tonight -- and then we have to go to the store to buy cake mix... then she's going to help me highlight my hair, which we were supposed to do yesterday... we also have to do laundry and pack a little more. Then she's going to be heading to work at 4:30a very tired tomorrow morning, which will blow because she won't get to sleep until... well you'll see. LOL

So I'll go to bed, then get up Saturday and make the cake that we're giving to Kristi for watching miss Bella... finish cleaning the house, wash Bella and clean her ears, and clip her nails.

Jenn will get home a little after 10p or so... that's when we do the final loads of laundry, pack the rest of our suitcases (we're both taking two, which is a first for Jennifer...) get everything situated and whatnot...

Then we leave the house at 4a or a little before on Sunday morning to head to Kristis. That's fucking scary. Since we're not going to bed on Saturday night that means it's kinda like one day before Vegas... that also means that we won't be sleeping until AFTER we get back from Voodoo Sunday night in Vegas... so Jenn will not be sleeping for at least 24 hours... if not more.

It's scary how close it got all the sudden.

God, I don't even know where to begin...

So today I found out some unfortunate news. Sarah Palin's full name... Sarah Louise Heath Palin... turns out Heath was her last name before she married. I barfed. I'm moving to Canada or something... or the Bahama's or something if "they" win.

My Mama actually said that she would kill McCain if she had to live through more of the same... of course she's not serious -- I don't think -- but it was funny. She's been all up in my grill about voting lately. LOL I told her I was registered!! She asked who I was voting for -- like you had to ask...

So I've been thinking a lot about my name lately. Chloe was different from Jodie which is why I loved her so much, but I'm not sure that Chloe "took off" -- I mean, I reckon no one says my name that much anyhow... I'm just saying is all.

I did think something grand yesterday -- the name isn't what defines me. Chloe was perhaps a way for me to step outside myself, but she in no way made me any different on the inside -- or perhaps Jodie was too inhibited to show who she really was and Chloe brought out all that Jodie hided.

Either way, now I'm unsure on both names... I knew I would one day be Jodie again, but now is not the time... I ran going by Audrey or Audrene by Jennifer and turns out she hates my middle name, which sort of pisses me off because it was my favorite part of my name. :-( Anyway. I think I'll wait and decide after Vegas. In Vegas I have many names... I'll take advantage off that.

I think I finally know what I'm wearing to Justin's show. I had to literally hit Jennifer yesterday when she said "should I wear this super expensive awesome top that's yours that you never got a chance to wear and I've admired since 2002 and you were so kind to let me borrow specifically for Justin's show?" or "should I wear this $10 top you wore to Justin's show in Dallas in 2003 and now wouldn't be caught dead standing to someone wearing the top because it looks like you got it from the discount bin in the dollar store next to the strip joint?"

(I hope y'all understood that. LOL) Ya, I literally hit her. (I just kinda smacked her up against her head. Twas funny.)

Don't worry, I knocked the sense back into her... apparently it had all fallen out earlier in the day.

SO!! Jennifer did spill some dirt yesterday... after Vegas she's going to look for a new job and depending on what she gets she might quit both her McD jobs... She just worked 90 hours and her check for that (with 10 hours of overtime) was a little under $600. Can you believe that? That's just fucking wrong. :-( She's literally killing herself for these people and that's all she got. I'm proud that she knows when to leave.

Pic of tha Day:



I know it gives you cancer, I know it's uber addictive... but the way he smokes turns me on.

xoxox

Finish What We Started

"Yes indeed I'm alone again,
And here comes emptiness crashing in,
It's either love or hate, I cant find in between
Cuz I've been witches and I have been with a Queen
It wouldn't have worked out either way
So now it's just another lonely day..."

Didn't feel so good today, so I napped most of it away. Had some good naps. Last night or the night before I had a dream I was being buried alive... let's look up what that means.

"To dream that you are being buried alive suggests that you are being undermined or stifled in some way"

Ooh... well I can pick out a few things that would say that. Kinda shitty...

So today is 5 days until Las Vegas... I posted that I was going to the after party on Friday (which is 10 days from today!) I posted it on myspace too and whaddaya know?! Like, no one said anything. LMFAOOO I told Jenn that this morning and she said "well, they hate you, you know that?" LOL Yes yes, I know you hate me.

I wanna take a long hot bath tonight. I think that sounds like a plan.

I think I'm finally on my way to being prepared for Vegas. I was on VisitVegas.com last night and they have this feature called "be anyone" since in Vegas -- it's a whirlwind and no one knows who you are... you can literally BE ANYONE.

They have a whole site devoted to helping you fake it as someone else, including webistes and phone numbers to make you believeable.

Now the only difference between this and what I've done on past trips is that this one has credentials. LOL My friends and I started taking on alter-ego's on the Orlando trip down to see NSYNC's Challenge for the Children charity in 2002. I was Brooklyn... which, I am not so crazy about that name now. LOL All we did was have different names... with this we're going to be different people.

I think I will look at this more along the lines of acting. This will give me a chance to step outside everything that inhibits Chloe and I can focus on what [insert name] would be like.

As far as being ready goes I have clubs picked out for which days, my planner is completly booked, I have my tickets at the ready, list of restaurants we're going to and places to drink. I have phone numbers and confirmation codes for flights and hotels... but we still need to get clothes done. LOL I know SOME of the outfits I'm wearing, but I need to haul my suitcases downstairs (still not unpacked from Ohio...) and tonight we're sorting through which clothes we're taking and starting the awseome process of washing them all.

Last time we were in Vegas (wow we had a wonderful bed...) I took two suitcases and we were only there for 24 hours. This time we're taking 2 suitcases each (something unheard of for Jennifer) and we're there for EIGHT days.

Longest I was ever in Vegas for was 3 nights, 4 days in 2001 for the Billboard Awards... we ran out of stuff to do.. of course I was 17... LOL

So... enough with Vegas for the moment... yesterday I got Casanova in the mail and watched it seconds after unwrapping it. I hadn't seen it, mainly for the fact that I couldn't find it anywhere! It wasn't AWFUL... but it's last on my list of Heath movies.

There were some scenes that I loved... like when he's arrested and nearly hanged the guy in charge of him arresting him goes "sex with a novice" (when reading his charges...) and Heath mumbles, "oh she was hardly a novice..."

Then when he gets engaged to the only virgin left in Venice and she's just crawling out of her skin to sleep with him... they're at Carnival and she hides under the table (she wasn't supposed to be there...) and he's looking for her. She pulls his legs and makes him sit in the chair and begins to... well... satisfy him to his surprise. Heath's reaction is just priceless and hilarious.

My last favorite scene actually reminded me of The Brothers Grimm (not only for the fact that Sienna Miller's name is Francesca...) Anyhow... at the end of the movie she holds out her hand for him to kiss and as he bends down to kiss it she draws it away... she smiles up at him and their mouths open and just nearly touch like they're breathing with each other. Finally they fall into each others kiss and it's completely romantic and sexy. I loved it. I rewound it like 4 times.

Anyhowwww... it's about time to wrap it all up here. Here's your pics of the day:


My busy, busy week. On the left is the tournament schedule.


On the right is details for everything and everything else...


On the left is the tournament schedule, in the middle is my list for restaurants and bars, a letter from the tournament with addresses and phone numbers and information regarding the party... and on top of it all is the tickets for the show. Woo!

xoxox

Shine On

"Three little birds sat on my window
And they told me I don't need to worry
Summer came like cinnamon, so sweet
Little girls double dutch on the concrete
Maybe sometimes we've got it wrong
But it's alright
The more things seem to change
The more they stay the same..."

Picture post!!

This is going to be one helluva blog! haha... I've got fantastic news, I had a fantastic day and just fantastic, fantastic, fantastic. LOL

So yesterday I was living off of 3 hours of sleep when I finally made it into the shower. My plan was to straighten my hair, but I had the worst morning ever and so that didn't happen. My family arrived early, of course. I had just finished my makeup, wasn't dressed and was putting gel in my hair when they arrived.

So Jenn gave them all the grand tour... my step mom said she was jealous of my house... that was nice.

I got all dressed and whatnot and we left for the Renaissance festival. I gave my step mom the CD that I had made for her (one for Daddy too) and we listened to them on the way there. (On the car ride over there one of the first things my step mom says is that I look like I've lost weight...)

We got there not long after it had opened and we began to look around and shop and whatnot... eventually (which it didn't take long. LOL) my family became hungry and they all got something different from every stand. I got a pickle. LOL 0 calories!

We got our food and sat down and watched this show... this show has been around since forever, but my Mom hadn't seen it yet. It was my Aunt Laura's first time going to the Ren Fest and my cousin Miles hadn't been in years.



he's a fire eater, then later he brings out his partner, Matt... who used to run the show and I helped out with when I was 9... anyhow, Matt walked on glass, which I got a video of and then the other one put his face in the glass and had a volunteer step on on his face. (got that on video too... LOL)

We walked around some more and shopped some more... There was a lady at a shop outside saying "Lotion candles!! It's lotion, it's a candle! It's both!" So we walked over there and sure enough... these candles were made from soy, shea & cocoa butter, avocado, Jojoba & vitamin E oil... they're all natural and not made from any animal bi-products. :-) That was a good selling point from me since earlier in the day I saw someone with a shirt that said "PETA - People for the Eating of Tasty Animals" Fucking eneducated redneck...

Anyhow... my step mom bought me and her a candle. I got a Yuzu scented one. ;-)

Walk, walk, walk and we came across my favorite jewelry store there. My step mom got a ear cuff shaped like a frog!! It's so cute! We came across a toy store and they had parisol's and fans. My step mom bought me one of each and got a parisol for my cousin Mollie who had to work and couldn't come.

Soon the parade came through... ;-)










Guards for the King and Queen.

King and Queen














Later we went to the petting zoo, last year I got my picture WITH the llama, but this year the llama had had a baby!! It was a mama llama!! :D










Lots more walking, lots more shopping... we went in the dungeon museum that showed all the ways that they killed people in the 1300-1400's. It was definitely weird.

They had these fountains, dragons, dragonflies, butterflies and bugs for sale...


I love that pic. It's gorgeous.



This little girl was staring at the water, I got into my wallet and got a pennie and gave it to her and I told her to make a wish. She stood there and she held it for a while before her parents came by and tried to show her how to do it. She wanted to do it by herself, she was taking a long time to do it and I think she was just thinking of something to wish for... eventually she tossed the coin in and her Dad thanked me. My step mom whispered to me "sometimes you just make me so proud..."







Miles with his finger guard and his horns. LOL He bought Mollie a pair of cat ears that were pierced.

When we got there we were talking about what all we wanted to do and I suggested we go see the jousting, which I had actually never seen before... everyone agreed and said it would be fun. I asked my step mom if she had ever seen A Knights Tale with Heath Ledger and she said "I have the director's cut." I died. Right then, I died. We talked about Heath for a while and Miles chimed in that what happend to Heath was just awful and unexpected because he was "one of the greats of our generation."

So at 4 we went and watched the jousting. It was fab. I adored it!!! They introduced them one by one and depending which side you were on was who you watched... Our 2nd (the one who takes place of the main knight if something should happen to him) was cute, but then our knight came out and omg... his name was Sir Matthew and he was young, blonde and gorgeous.


the 2nd is in red and the 2nd for the other side is in green




In comes the knight for the other side.

Our 2nd introducing our knight

Our knight...


To like, get warmed up...




Getting ready to fight.

Bowing before.

I taped the actual jousting, and I'll post it to youtube later. Sir Matthew lost. LOL He got knocked from his horse. :-(


My family... Laura is next to me, my step mom is in front of me and Miles is well... the guy. LOL

Pumpkins!!




My parisol and I:



They welcome you to bring your dogs... I wouldn't bring Bella tho, she would get way to tired.

Wings for dogs.


Okay, horrible angle on me... LOL Me and Mr. Miles.


The fam and I once again... Jenn took this one. LOL Look at Bella. haha...

Alright... they left and went and had greek without Jenn and I which was just soo soo sad... but I think we're going to stay with my Mom before we go to Ingram Hill next month... shit I still need tickets... ahh... and then we're going to have greek and a Heath movie night.

So... onward. I registered to vote yesterday. Yay me.

Later in the night Leticia text me and asked if we had any passes to Prive -- I told her no and asked her why... she said that's where Justin was having his after party... I was like, "oh... well no... that sucks." LOL

THEN she said that tickets were only $30... sooooooooooooo... she bought em and we're paying her back when we get to Vegas in SEVEN DAYS. Which, is actually kinda fate since I got my refund from the state of Missouri back and it was $26. LOL haha... I love it.



From 10p-4a. Say whaaa?! hahaaa... Now, I'm hoping that I'll be busy at 10p since Justin's concert doesn't start until 9p... but... I'm waaay stoked!!! :D

Later I had to take a picture of Jenn for her pro-am badge since we won't be there Saturday when they're taking pics and I did her hair before hand and I just wanted to share the photo since her hair looks like sex. (She took mine too, but ehh. LOL)


BTW, Jenn got new glasses. LOL

Alright, here's my pic.



Alright now, that's all... love ya! I'll post links to my youtube videos when I get em loaded.

xoxox