"In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun,
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed, you said...
'You don't know me, you don't even care,' She said,
'You don't know me, you don't wear my chains,' oh yeah..."
Last night was the first night in the hotel. It felt good to sleep in an actual bed. It's been a long time since I slept in an actual bed. It was nice.
The hotel is... well a hotel. I put up some Twilight poster and a calendar. I'm going to put around some candles and stuff to try and make it more homey, but I'm... well, I'm here and I'm safe.
The hotel has three channels of unsecured wi-fi, so I don't think there's any risk of me not having the internet. Now the only thing I have to do is not crash my computer, right? The TV we had became possessed last night and started flipping channels on its own and turning on and off by itself... LOL So they replaced it today. :-)
So last night the plan was to see Twilight again, but after going to my mum's house - not even Edward Cullen would have cheered me up. I don't want to explain too much of it, but... just... Pam.
What I will say is this, if you're a therapist -- you've gone to school like, twice for degrees in therapy and all that, how is it RIGHT for you to cut someone down? To guilt trip them and make them feel so small? Would that be right? Or would that be like a doctor hurting instead of helping... isn't that against some kind of oath? Shouldn't she KNOW what it does to someone's mind when people say things or manipulate people? Manipulate... that's the best word I can use.
I've known it for forever, but Pam is just wrong on all kinds of levels. She makes false promises, builds me up, cuts me down - makes me feel guilty about things with my Mom... if me Mom had a problem with me, she would tell me -- instead, Pam tells me and my mom just stands there.
I can't say more than this. I shouldn't be saying any of it... There may come a time when it'll all be the right time to say, but this isn't it.
I guess I should just go... I'm not in the right mind frame for bloggage.
Playlist:
1. Boston - Augustana
2. If You Could Only See - Tonic
3. Arms of the Angel - Sarah McLaughlin
4. Gimme Stitches - Foo Fighters
Pic:
He makes my heart swell.
xoxox
4 comments:
im sorry thinga are good between u and Pam. :(
Glad u got settled down in the hotel.. the suite life eh? hehe
i LOVE arms of an angel... always have and always will
i love u too
x x x gem
I'm sorry to hear those things about Pam :( I hope you will feel better soon!
I have to write another comment...
Thanks for puting the song from Augustana on the playlist, they are amazing!
you already know u will pull though u always do.. u have strong cohonas!! stay tough sweetie..dont let the b.s in life get u down:-)
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