Born of the wild,
Riddled to spend my time,
Defending my land,
You are the only one,
Born of the sun,
Riddled to spend your time,
Defending my plan..."
I was listening to some music and it triggered some things, so I thought I would write about them.
The other day, my mom sent me three of her favorite photos she's ever taken of me. Seeing photos of my former model self reminds me of one thing: the opportunity I had for a life that could have been.
I'm not being coincided or arrogant when I say that I was a very beautiful and talented child... I was once approached by a modeling agency while I was in Kansas City for an art gallery showing with my mom. The owner of the agency was interested in me and my mom said that it was a sham. I of course believed her, because, well, she's my mom... but when I look at these photos, I can't help but wonder what might have happened if we called the agency back.
I've suppressed a lot of my childhood throughout the years. I wish I could tell you I remember it all, but now it comes around in my memory as smells and feelings more than actual memories.
I suppose I'm not going to be a world famous model... but it's not too late to get back to my normal, natural, organic, beautiful self.
I was a beautiful child. Beautiful, un-tainted blond hair, gorgeous blue eyes, evenly tanned skin, small, tiny, and graceful.
Now... now my hair is a rusty blond when it's not dyed pink, my blue eyes faded into blue, my skin is still nice, but I'm no longer small, tiny and graceful.
It makes me so sad.
(These pictures didn't come watermarked, so I had to do the job for my mom. Please click to view in full size.)
This is my mom's favorite. ^^
My how life has changed.
Playlist -- songs from my past:
1. Chickenman - Indigo Girls (My mom and I love the Indigo Girls. Hardcore.)
2. These Are Days - 10,000 Maniacs (The MTV unplugged album was what we were listening to when we shot the first photoshoot up there. ^^)
3. Money For Nothing - Dire Straits (My Mama and my Daddy are obsessed with Dire Straits, it carried on into my bloodline as well.)
4. Roam - B-52's (I have my Step Mom to thank for them. This was my favorite song for the longest time as a kid.)
5. Queen of the Night - Whitney Houston (The Bodyguard was my first CD and I used to belt this song in my room.)
(Does anyone listen to these or am I making them for no reason?)
xoxox
3 comments:
i adore the pics... i 'think' ive seen those before. im sure i have.
anyways, its never too late to go for what you once had, you just gotta make it happen.
I always believe, for any living person on this earth, the way an adult lives their life, is somewhat based on trying to correct the wrong they had/did as a child. Takes guts and patience but its achievable... so go with whatever feels right for YOU and just follow ur gut instinct.
Make a port folio... just go for it.. theres nothing to lose is there?
loves ya x x x x
I listen to them, I just don't have the time to allways leave a comment...
The pictures are beatiful, but to me you look sad on them...
--Vess, that's the kind of emo thing my mom went for back then. She's more into emotional shots than glamor shots.
;-)
xoxox
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