Best. News. Ever.

"Ever carry the weight of another?
For how long...?"

I had actually debated on whether or not I was going to blog today, then I got an email that sent me over the moon...

I didn't tell anyone, and I almost didn't tell Jennifer because I knew she wouldn't really be too supportive -- but Mix 93.3 had a contest on their website where you could enter to win a LapBand procedure... (It's a weight-loss thing, not as risky or dramatic as gastric. Click the green <--- to learn more if you still don't know what it is and all that. Anyhow, so I entered this contest and that was a while back, I emailed to follow up a few weeks ago, just asking if they had chosen a winner yet - I was sure it wasn't me, because I obviously hadn't heard anything. But! Today, I got this email:

You recently entered the Mix 93.3 contest with Malley Surgical Weight Loss Center and NewHope Bariatrics. We received over 1200 entries!

We are sorry for the delay, I know many of you have called asking for updates. The number of entries was far greater than we had anticipated. I personally have spent countless hours reading through all 1200 entries.

I am VERY excited to let you know that you have been selected as one of the top 100 finalists. I am currently trying to reach you to schedule a time to come in and interview with me. I am starting these interviews as early as tomorrow.

Please call me at 913-***-**** or 913-***-**** and I will get you scheduled.

I basically pissed myself.

I have an interview on Monday at noon!!!! I'm so nervous!! Even if I DON'T get picked for this procedure, it's still a nice lil pick me up to get chosen as one of the top 100! XD

I'm sure with the top 100 they have to find the 'perfect' candidate. They are going to want a flawless procedure... So, I don't know if I'll qualify for that or not, but I really hope that I can be what they're looking for.

When I called to schedule my interview with the chicka she said there were only like 4 days to pick from, so I think they're wanting to crank out the interviews ASAP and pick a winner fairly soon. That's a yay!

God... this would be... lifesaving... literally...

Onto better other things. LOL

I think this hotel bed is too soft. I think I prefer a firm mattress. I'm used to the couch now... which, was recently starting to hurt my back, but when I'm in a bed, I'm in my futon... so ick. I need something more firm than this. I feel like I'm sleeping in jello.

Oooh, wouldn't that be fun?!

Not...

So my mom forwarded me something from FailBlog - a nice way to spend 10 minutes to 10 hours... I've been through 150 pages of Fail. LOL Here's some of my favorites.


You shoulda seen the look on Jenn's face with ^ that one!


I love this picture ^ for 5 reasons.
1. The first guys face.
2. The 2nd guy is holding his nuts.
3. The 3rd guy is totally cool when he's the one who's fucked.
4. The 4th guy is totally safe.
5. They put their "fat friend" on the bike!

What's that ^^ tell ya?? LOL







LOL









That's soooo my last computer!

So, I was showing these to Jennifer, and Bella goes over to the power strip (I asked Jennifer to bring it home last night -- it was NOT plugged in) and licks it... I said, "Fail."

LOL

Playlist - Weight Related:

1. Overweight -Blue October
2. Someone I Once Knew - Dead Celebrity Status
3. Skinny - Filter
4. Ana's Song - Silverchair

xoxox

The Suite Life of Jenn & Jodie

"In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun,
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed, you said...
'You don't know me, you don't even care,' She said,
'You don't know me, you don't wear my chains,' oh yeah..."

Last night was the first night in the hotel. It felt good to sleep in an actual bed. It's been a long time since I slept in an actual bed. It was nice.

The hotel is... well a hotel. I put up some Twilight poster and a calendar. I'm going to put around some candles and stuff to try and make it more homey, but I'm... well, I'm here and I'm safe.

The hotel has three channels of unsecured wi-fi, so I don't think there's any risk of me not having the internet. Now the only thing I have to do is not crash my computer, right? The TV we had became possessed last night and started flipping channels on its own and turning on and off by itself... LOL So they replaced it today. :-)

So last night the plan was to see Twilight again, but after going to my mum's house - not even Edward Cullen would have cheered me up. I don't want to explain too much of it, but... just... Pam.

What I will say is this, if you're a therapist -- you've gone to school like, twice for degrees in therapy and all that, how is it RIGHT for you to cut someone down? To guilt trip them and make them feel so small? Would that be right? Or would that be like a doctor hurting instead of helping... isn't that against some kind of oath? Shouldn't she KNOW what it does to someone's mind when people say things or manipulate people? Manipulate... that's the best word I can use.

I've known it for forever, but Pam is just wrong on all kinds of levels. She makes false promises, builds me up, cuts me down - makes me feel guilty about things with my Mom... if me Mom had a problem with me, she would tell me -- instead, Pam tells me and my mom just stands there.

I can't say more than this. I shouldn't be saying any of it... There may come a time when it'll all be the right time to say, but this isn't it.

I guess I should just go... I'm not in the right mind frame for bloggage.

Playlist:
1. Boston - Augustana
2. If You Could Only See - Tonic
3. Arms of the Angel - Sarah McLaughlin
4. Gimme Stitches - Foo Fighters

Pic:


He makes my heart swell.

xoxox

I'm In Love With My Own Sins

"I found god,
On the corner of first and Amistad,
Where the west was all but won,
All alone, smoking his last cigarette,
I said 'where you been?',
He said, 'ask anything',
Where were you
When everything was falling apart..."


-I could throw up right now and it wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing.
-I want some cantaloupe.
-I slept two hours and woke up like, completely refreshed.
-I am very thirsty.
-My stomach hurts.
-I have lots to do today...

It's 637a, I woke up at 430a and couldn't go back to sleep... that's after I went to bed at 230a... who knows. I get weird like that. I had planned on sleeping until 1115 when Jenn gets home from work. I'm sure I'll end up going back to bed around 10... knowing me.

When Jenn gets home we have to get our stuff ready to take over to the hotel. Then at 3 we're going to get Jenn's paycheck and then we're going to check into the hotel!! After that we're going to run a couple errands (get some of my money, mail a birthday card and a letter, etc.) and then we have to drive back out to Overland Park so that I can give my friend Megan a few things that I'm getting rid of. :-) She was nice enough to take them off my hands for me! After that I have to go to my Mom's house because Pam owes me money and I'm giving my mom back this antique lamp... at least giving it back to her for the time being.

After THAT, I think we'll probably go back to the house to get some more stuff together to take to storage, then back to the hotel to change, Applebee's at 9 for beers and Twilight at 10! (or 1045, I can't remember.)

Depending on how well today pays off for me -- literally pays off, we're talking about money here (for the slow) -- I'm trying to get enough together to get the iPod Touch. Yes yes, I've wanted it for... oh... ever.

...Sun is coming up...

So with trying to get everything out of the house by Sunday, now Jennifer has said that she wants to be done by noon on Sunday... which, I can't blame her - I wouldn't want to move on my birthday!

We're going to have everything downstairs and waiting by the door to move it on Sunday morning, so I'm relieved that that will make it all easier. All the trash will be out of the house by then, everything left will JUST be what is going into storage. Pretty stoked.

Last Dance

"Dancin' at disco's,
Eating cheese on toast,
Yeah, you make me merry,
Make me very, very happy,
But you obviously,
You didn't want to stick around..."

So, I'm not quite sure how this happened, but I totally skipped over Monday. I thought yesterday was Sunday, I woke up today and looked at my phone and today is Tuesday! WTF? How did that happen? Now, all the sudden, we're moving tomorrow.

Well, okay, we're not actually moving tomorrow, we're moving into our hotel and slowly moving our stuff out of the house and into storage throughout the week until Sunday.

Yesterday [or Sunday for all I know] I had the idea to just get rid of all my stuff. There's no sense in storing something that won't be coming with us to our next apartment. I already found a home for the dining room table, 2 end tables and bookcase and possibly Jenn's bed. (We were just going to trash Jenn's bed anyhow, so doesn't matter if they don't end up taking it.) The couch is going to the dump, whatever doesn't get taken right now will get stored until April when we'll try to find it a home again -- or take it to the salvation army and then that'll be that of it.

I am ready... I am a pretty bad pack rat, but in a weird way I'm looking forward to getting rid of this stuff. Very weird.

I found a way for Jennifer to have a birthday cake AND I'm entering a contest at the same time with it! :-) There's a Twilight fan site called HisGoldenEyes.com and they're having a cake contest!! So I'm making a Twilight cake for Jenn's birthday... she didn't really have an option there. LOL Nope, can't tell you what my ideas are, but you won't have to wait long to see it. Gonna make it Sunday. :-) *hopefully*

...I can't believe this is my last night here. That's pretty rocking awesome. I've slept maybe 2 nights in my room and the rest of the nights on the couch... the couch has about had it. LOL

I have a lot to do at the post office tomorrow, have to mail a birthday card, a package and send off our change of address things... speaking of which, no one ever emailed me back about that. (Except Gemma) When I say no one, I was maybe meaning more like my step mom... figured she would have something to say... Then again, maybe she hasn't read my email. Who knows...

Lord, I guess I should call them both (Step mom and Daddy) tomorrow and leave a message for em while they're at work... or I could write a letter! LOL

Gosh, I guess I just really have nothing to talk about except the same ol shit.

Sorry... still would be nice to get a comment.

Playlist:

1. Merry Happy - Kate Nash (I adore this song and it rocks.)
2. When I Grow Up - PCD (Unfortunately I still have a soft spot for really catchy pop)
3. Maggie May - Rod Stewart (Gem's favrotie Rod song and it reminds me of Heath.)
4. Tupelo Honey - Van Morrison (Reminds me of Robert, whom loves Van Morrison.)
5. Classico - Tenecious D (If you just listen to ONE song here, listen to this, it's 1 min long and rocks the casbah.)

Pic:



Kellan Lutz & Robert Pattinson -- I love this man's smile and crave it like Kristi craves White Castle... now that's SERIOUS. ;-)

xoxox

Since I've Been Loving You

"How, how are we off on a tangent again?
Always we say what we say
And the poison is breaking our skin,
Blame was to blame,
It's an argument no one can win
Cuz at best, we don't know and it's wearing us thin,
And we stare at the sun,
But we never see anything there,
Just a glare has become,
All that we'll ever see there..."

I'm bored, so here's another blog. I reckon this should take up a good hour or so of my life. I'm at McD with Jennifer. We're having a good day together. :-)

I can listen to the entire Mute Math album front to back, I think you should too.

You know that feeling, like, when life is kinda blah or shitty and then something awesome happens or maybe life hands you something good to look forward to and it totally turns your world around??

That's me right now.

I'm usually pretty down/depressed/suicidal, but the closer moving gets, the happier I become. I'm super stoked about it all.

One of the things that Jennifer and I have been talking about recently is when we're going to get an actual place to live, and right now it looks like we're going to save up for a few months -- take everything super easy -- no World's of Fun passes, no Nikon D-SLR for me [insert sad face here] and then we're going to get a place May/June-ish. So yay!

Sucks that we aren't going to get those World's of Fun passes, but really? Really we don't need them.

Alright, so I can't have caffeine because of my ADD, right?? So I've had two cups of decaf coffee here at McD and all the sudden I'm feeling weirdly, I go up to Jennifer and ask, "are you SURE that you made decaf and not just brewed normal in the decaf pot?" She goes, "oops."

"OOPS?"

Oops, I guess I'll just take a nap on the McD table then, eh?

She's making me fresh decaf.

Bitch.

...Damn life, I was gonna say something and I forgot.

Alright, let's see what I can babble on about...

Oh!! I remember what I was going to say... here around May/June, I'm going to be full on EATING my words -- replies to some people in a previous post from a bit back... Gonna suck to eat my words, but man this is gonna be awesome.

Another thing... I've been posting easter eggs... I've posted a few in previous posts and you can always find them when you view my blog from your phone, but if you are on the computer, I guess you just have to be smarted. ;-) If you don't know what an easter egg is, google it.

So I didn't get my Heath tattoo on the 22nd like I wanted, but I really hope to get it on his birthday. That'll be right before we move again, but it should be alright because it's not gonna cost a whole ton, we'll see, right??

Jennifer wants a Twilight tattoo, she wants me to design it. Like, she wants a full on Twilight tattoo -- I wouldn't mind a Twilight-inspired tattoo, but not a full on like, "I <3 href="http://twilightsaga.wikia.com/wiki/Aro">Aro calls Bella "la tua cantante" because her blood "sings for Edward".

I had previously thought of getting "plus que ma propre vie", which is from Breaking Dawn - it's French for "more than my own life" which Bella gets in a locket for her daughter. But, I changed my mind, because I'm not sure that personally applies to me, however, "your singer", works for me, as well as Twilight. ;-)

Don't worry folks, this isn't a tattoo I'm rushing. I have many more on the list before I run out and get inked for a book.

I just found a badass Twilight site while I was linking Aro up there...

http://twilightsaga.wikia.com/wiki/Twilight_Saga_Wiki

It's Twilight wiki!!!!!!! It's not just a wiki page for Twilight, it's a whole wiki site for Twilight. Click it!! It's got all the Twilight info you could ever need. :D YAY! *bookmarks*

Gosh, I reckon that's enough for now... if that didn't give you something to comment on, you're lame.

if you find this easter egg comment mentioning that there is no playlist. ;-)

Pic:



Robert Pattinson in an explosion of cute.

xoxox

Please Don't Leave Me

"I can be so mean when I wanna be
I am capable of really anything,
I can cut you into pieces,
But my heart is broken..."

Only a week until we're out of here. We've slowed on packings and whatnots, we've more been discussing things rather than doing anything. Tis okay though. We moved the entire apt in one day and a lot of it wasn't packed, most of our house is packed - very little got unpacked - and we're moving everyday from Wed - Sun.

Heath won the SAG award last night for Best Supporting Actor!! XD
Congrats Heath!! I actually didn't watch it, kinda wish I had... oh wells. Youtube.

So I randomly wondered if my xanga sites were still up - and lookie, haha!! They are!! LOL

This was my first xanga (don't comment, I don't go there anymore.) And this was my second. Annnnd, the third.

I kinda can't believe I had so many of those. Blogger is waaay more rockstar than xanga.

The third was my faveee. I think I might start that icon thing again, it was like the pic of the day, but at the beginning... and it was an icon. LOL

I tried to find my old livejournal, but can't. I was never much into livejournal. I only made one because that's what everyone else had.

Jenn says she want's to make a blogger, so yay! You can expect her first entry on Sunday. :-) Please read her and comment. She doesn't deal so well without the comments, like I do. *raises eyebrow* Oh, yeaaah... please comment me, c'mon, you read it... Can't you go back and say "hey, this part was really cool"? On a couple of them? It would seriously make my day. I mean, I'm not going to sit here and whine like a lil bitch about no comments, just saying that it would make my day, is all.

Should I start an icon of the day like in the third xanga?

Playlist:

1. Please Don't Leave Me - Pink (This is me... unfortunately.)
2. Kiwi - M5 (Jenn loves this song. Kiiiiiwi.)
3. Call Me - Blondie (If I was a music teacher, I would do this song in an acapella choir. Badass.)
4. Hook Me Up - Veronicas (I'm sick of all my friends, girls can be so mean... LOVES.)
5. Bella's Lullaby Remix - Twilight Soundtrack (This is badass. It's on the score soundtrack. It's got track samples from the movie. Ooooh, Edward.)

LMFAO

xoxox

Did you know there were easter eggs in a lot of the posts? I'll bet you did because you're smart. I'm going to start posting easter eggs in all the posts just to see who's smart enough to figure it out. Don't worry, I'll tip you off soon and then you'll come back to all these posts and try and figure it out. ;-)

Turn My Back & Run Away

"Far away,
This ship is taking me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die..."

I keep meaning to blog again, or starting a blog and then getting sidetracked by something shiny - so sorry for the delay.

Heath day was not quite as painful as I was bracing myself for. I bought his Entertainment Weekly cover, but I can't bare to read it just yet.

Matilda died on the 21st... I had to bury her the 22nd and that was just awful. We said some nice words for her and had a couple moments of silence for her. I really am going to miss her. I've never lost a pet before. :-(

I'm not sure if I'll get another bunny, and if I did - it wouldn't be for at least a year. Then we'll see where I'm at.

Jenn and I are focusing more on getting things ready to move than moving them. We're going to move everyday from the 28th-1st.

Speaking of the 1st. Jenn's manager called a few days ago and told her that she could no longer have the 31st and the 1st off. (The 31st is Justin's birthday, the 1st is Jennifer's and we always go out on the 31st and then do a shot at 11:59 for Justin and a shot at midnight for Jennifer.)

Since we have to be out of our house by the 1st, she opted to close on the 31st. :-( And since we're going to be spending all day the 1st moving out and cleaning the house, Jenn isn't going to have a birthday.

We were going to go over to her parents on the 1st (which happens to be the super bowl... again...) and I was going to make Alfredo and cake, but now Jenn and her parents are on the outs... again...

See the other day when Jenn went to talk to her parents about our situation her parent's said, "we're just here to listen and to offer advice... we're not going to do anything... we're just listening." So then they talked for a while and their [bright] idea was for us to stay here until the summer and then move -- to pay just a little on the things we owed and to keep in contact with the people like the electric, rent, water, gas, cell phone... and if we did that then they wouldn't cut them off. (How naive are Jenn's parents, really?)

Anyhow, so Jenn and I had already had this 'backup' plan to just turn off all our bills and pay down on them while living in a hotel. (How are our bills going to go down if they're still accumulating?)

So she calls her mom the other day and officially tells her what we're doing and her mom blows up at her! She calls her yesterday and now her dad isn't speaking to her and her mom's still mad because she "didn't listen to our advice..."

IF IT WAS ADVICE, WHY ARE YOU MAD WE DIDN'T TAKE IT???

It was just advice... they weren't forcing it on her. They're just mad that they can't control her anymore. She's a week away from 24 for fuck's sake!

What were they going to do for us when we got evicted? When our gas was turned off and we had to pay a $400 deposit that we can't afford before we could turn it back on? I know they aren't going to give us anymore money...

I get it -- I really honest to god get it -- we've fucked up.

We have had a good thing going for us many times and we burned it. I get it...

Moving really is going to help us. It'll help us so much that we'll be back on our feet [with bells on] in 2 weeks. Seriously. I'm not joking here, it's going to be awesome. I wouldn't be planning all this future stuff if I couldn't honestly afford it. That was Jodie-2007, and I don't care for her much anymore. Jodie-2009 is much smartered. ;-)

Everyone's mad at us right now. Her parents are mad at us because we keep fucking up and they just can't understand how this will work. My mom is mad at me because she doesn't want me to live out of a hotel. She recommended that I either move back to Wamego with Daddy, move in with her and take a "real" job working for the man -- or [?] pack up everything I can in the van and move to California and camp it out for a while. (Sounds a bit backwards to me, but gotta love her for trying.)

I just plain refuse to move back to Wamego. It took me 11 years to get out of there and if I go back now I'll never leave.

I'm not moving in with my Mom and Pam -- they have 3 cats, for one -- and two? I'm 24. When I was 18 I promised myself I would never fuck up so much that I had to move back home. I refuse to fail. Yes, I have too much pride, thanks.

The California thing? I don't want to just camp out, if I was going to pack up the van and straight up flee to anywhere (LA, Vegas, NYC, Forks Washington, LOL) -- doesn't matter where, if I was going to do that for anywhere I wouldn't just up and move without some cash. Jobs are easy to find, but I would have to have some back up cash.

*deep sigh*

There's just so much here that I wish I could share. So much talk is going on between Jennifer and I right now and so many plans are slowly getting set in concrete. There's going to be a lot of unhappy people here in the next 7 months, but in the end of it all, WE will be happy, and in the end of it all, that's what really matters, right?

Enough about all that... hints in the playlist. ;-) You're smart! I won't say anymore about it, no matter who you are.

Let's just call it a day.

Playlist

1. Starlight - Muse
2. Bright Lights - MB20
3. Cruz - Christina Aguilera
4. Waking Up In Vegas - Katy Perry
5. California Waiting - Kings of Leon

I see that the format from blogger doesn't really allow the last song on the playlist to show. You can go about listening to it one of two ways. You can click on #4 and then click the "next" button, or you can actually just barely click on the song itself. Sorry... blame blogger.



xoxox

Heath Ledger

"So you think you can tell, Heaven from Hell,
Blue skies from pain, Can you tell a green field,
From a cold steel rail, a smile from a veil,
Do you think you can tell?
Did they get you to trade, your heroes for ghosts,
Hard ashes for trees, hot air full of cool breeze,
Cold comfort for change,
Did you exchange, a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage,
How I wish, how I wish you were here,
We're just two lost souls, swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year, Running over the same old ground,
On how we found, the same old fears,
Wish you were here..."

One year.

This post will be of all my favorite Heath things, as well as things to remember him by. Please click on the photos to view them at full size.





















^ The last three always make me cry. ^





























Heath:


One of my favorite scenes from The Dark Knight:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81LeooTiKI0

(embedding was disabled.)



I was there... it was magnificent.

Playlist - Heath.

1. Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd (Perfect song, played @ his funeral.)
2. Here Comes The Sun - Beatles (His favorite song.)
3. Australia - the Shins (I adore.)
4. Ol' Man River - Paul Robeson (He had a tattoo of the song title on his arm.)
5. Happy Everafter In Your Eyes - Ben Harper (Written for his daughter, Matilda.)

I knew that you would get a nomination.
There would be riots if you didn't.
I am so proud of you, you have no idea.

I love you Heath, I miss you and I will never forget you.

xoxox