Legends Are A Way Of Understanding Things Greater Than Ourselves

"Take it personal, cuz I did when you cheated on me,
You may be beautiful but there's more that they eye can't see
You're so predictable, the way you calculate each move
Heads I win, tails you lose, because you don't have the right to choose..."

That one... ^^ is for Rachel. ;-)

Well it's been a minute since I've blogged, and I sat here for a good ten trying to figure out how to start it, so I reckon I'll just start.

:-)

I'm taking St. John's Wort now for my depression and although I don't know if it's working just yet but at least I'm trying it. Also I'm taking Bayberry for my... ugh... other problem.

Tomorrow I have an interview bright and early with Jenn's other McD. I already know that I got the job... I'll be on overnights for the month of June and then I'll be working an actual 40 hours a week on days... 5-1 or something like that. I'm not too fond of the 5a, but having my nights back will be awesome. Then I won't have to plan 2 weeks ahead to see if I want to do something with someone, you know? If I want to go out then I can... of course I'll only have Wednesday's and Thursday's off so if I wanna get drunk it can only be Tues and Wed unless I wanna go hungover, which... no one likes...

But!!! At least I'll be able to GO. I could totally just go to a club on Friday and drink Red Bull... which, speaking of Red Bull... I can have for FREE at my new McD.

I've been watching an OBSCENE amount of movies lately... lets see if I can remember them all.

Ghost Rider, Oceans 13, Mr. Brooks, Good Luck Chuck, Untraceable, Hottie and The Nottie, The Orphanage (which we didn't watch because it was in Spanish.) August Rush, National Treasure, Mad Money, Over Her Dead Body, 27 Dresses, and One Missed Call.

We've been getting a crazy amount of those Red Box coupons. We LOVEEEE Red Box. I'm getting a couple more tonight.

Damnit, I was gonna say something and I completely forgot how I was gonna word it. I was gonna say something about best friends... Can't remember how I was gonna tho. I was gonna say something to the effect of:

It's really easy to be my "best" friend. I tend to think of my "best" friends as the ones who:

1) take the most time to get to know ME.
2) Spend the most time with me--person, email, take time to text
3) try to UNDERSTAND me.

There's a big difference between knowing me and understanding me. Jennifer is pretty good at both, but she knows me a lot better than she understands me. Everyone thinks that I'm easy to figure out, that I'm easy to understand. But you want honesty? I'm not even sure that I really understand me.

To know me is to know my life story - to know the things that I have been through and all that. To understand me is to know what makes me tick, to know the things that will make me sad, happy, etc.

So... that's what makes YOU a best friend. You see? The "numbers" of my best friends change, nearly daily. Always Jenn has the number one spot -- she's known me the longest, knows EVERYTHING there is to know about me and understands me the most... Sorry, but you'll never pass Jennifer. Some people have tried and a lot of people have told me to let go of Jennifer - that she's bad for me, but really that just pushes you farther away from me. You see?

I mean, I really try not to "rank" my friends, because they're all important to me, but sometimes I've felt that some of my friends are upset because they're not of higher rank. Trust me, if you're my friend -- you're important to me.

I'll stop while I'm ahead... but you can imagine why my friends... let's say flux with everyday. I could spend a tremendous amount of time with Sally one day and we have deep, deep conversations -- the kind where afterwards your friendships never the same... and not speak to Karen for days... then obviously Sally's going to potentially "rank" higher. But then afterwards I might not speak to Sally for days and Karen and I talk everyday for a week... You see kinda what I'm saying?

I feel like I'm digging myself a grave, and yet I don't want to erase this because it's how I feel. Another thing is --- just because you are ranked 3rd or 4th on my list of "best friends" (which, lets be honest, it's not something I spend a whole lot of time thinking about and there's no, ACTUAL list.) doesn't really MEAN anything. You're still my best friend. I still love and care for you, if you need me I'm going to be there for you. So being my best friend... la la la...

Moving on...

SO, He told me to "get over" him. As he finished his sentence I got this awful flashback, which was actually kind of cool at the same time. He said there was a time for us to "end" and I asked, "why now?" He said he didn't pick it... it's just the right time.

(I've been writing this blog for 2 hours. I'm very distracted.)

So... actually we came to a little agreement, which I refuse to discuss with ANYONE at the moment. Eventually I will, but I am not right now.

If you love something, let it go, if it comes back to you - it was yours, if it doesn't, you'll never know.

Pic o' tha Day:






maybe it would be different if you had something like a J-O-B

xoxox