I'm Sorry?

:::Music is what feelings sound like:::

I thought I was done blogging, but then all the sudden I got very down and depressed. A lot has been upside down lately, and although my life is changing for the better, the first steps of the process haven't really taken effect yet... therefore, Jodie still down.

I have anti-depressents at home, now why on earth have I not taken them?

Its a little crazy to me that one second I can be laughing and playing with Gemma and the next second I'm just so unbelievably depressed I feel nearly moved to tears.

I know at times I'm a bit crazy, and I usually try and keep that to myself but lately it's just seemed to tear me apart.

Perhaps I'm dotting around the actual point here -- I feel betrayed. Absolutely. Matter-of-factly. Never gonna forget it, make you wanna regret it -- betrayed.

It's not one of my favorite feelings in the world, as I've felt it many times, and at times by more than one person, and at times multiple times from one person -- but no matter what it is, I feel it. Again.

I thought that feeling it would be over -- at least for a while, but now here I am, feeling it.

I try to put my mind to rest, thinking that this person is a good human and that I have done ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong to them and that there is no reason for me to be feeling this way, but no matter --- here I am.

Maybe I'm over everything and everyone. That seems to be the most simple thing in the world. To give up on everyone but those you trust with every inch of your soul, that you would literally trust with your life... I guess there's no safer way to live.

Not that I've always lived the safe way, but when it comes to me and my heart, I reckon that I should keep those things away from harm.