Make sure I'm dead; bang, bang.
'Cause I'm a rat, there's no mistake,
Under the bed where you sleep,
Crush the skull and make me tame,
Sweep it up, hide it away.
No morals shown in no way explained,
Stupid human, shit for brains."
(Quite true for how I feel right now, also my new favorite song. The Confederate - "The Rat")
I would trade all my tomorrows, for one single yesterday. - Janis Joplin
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. - The Beatles
Let's start with yesterday... Yesterday was [for the most part] a FANTASTIC day! I started my day out thinking that I was going to see a kickass 100 Monkeys interview... and it was kickass BADASS!
After meeting [most of] the Monkeys at the Spencer Bell Legacy show I was lucky enough to think that we had left a mark on [most of] them. I knew that there was no way in hell that Ben Graupner would forget my girlfriend and I. (Not a chance in the hottest part of hell, to be honest.) Well, after seeing [THIS] video yesterday, I most definitely know that to be true!
At the 6:12 mark they start to talk about [THIS] list of the top TEN hands. In which the interviewer, Narwuar, credits her for writing the post and then Ben Graupner does 2 things... he mouthes my girlfriend's her name and then he speaks her name and says thank you.
:D
Basically all we did yesterday was EEEEEEEEEEEEEEP about this! Twas amazing.
Then today.
Oh today...
Today, today, today...
I never mentioned anything about it on my blog (I know, how unlike me...) but Genn and I had planned to go up to Chicago for the Twilight Convention to meet Jackson Rathbone...
This morning I checked the Creation Entertainment site (like I have done everyday for the past 200 days...) to "just be sure" that he was going to be there... and today... today, he canceled.
I cried. I cursed. I tried my hardest to not shut down... and had I not been on the phone with Genn when I found out I would have had a panic attack, screamed and bawled. I didn't because I couldn't bare to think of her "seeing" me like that. If I hadn't been on the phone with her I can honestly say that I would be in the floor right now... she made sure I didn't fall. I can't promise that for the next week or two I won't have moments of deep sadness filled with tears, screams, cursing the devil Summit... but... eventually I will come to terms with it all and be okay.
*nods*
I. Will. Be. Okay.
It's just that for the last 200+ days, we have looked forward to this... we talked about it nearly daily...
I digress...
I wrote an open letter to Summit for WeAllShouldCare.com today. You should read it. [HERE]
Picture of the Day:
Quite possibly my favorite photo of Jackson. Every time I look at this photo, I laugh. :) It's good that he can make me laugh at a time like this.
I'll just have to stick to this being the only photo of "us" for now... for now.
1 comment:
Yes but you get to speak to him, you get to see him soon.
I know how disappointed you are, and I KNOW it sucks, and I hate that you hurt, I wish like hell I could take that from you. Goddess knows that I do, and that I would.
Summit is the fucking devil that sucks talent and LIFE out of the cast that they employ and for Jay, it worries me.
Ben is so hot,hot,hot, and a sweetheart, but who doesn't know that I adore him by now? lol
I love you and want to take this all from you.. to make the days pass faster until you can physically see and touch him.
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