Like A Sad Song

"You've got a lot of nerve, to say you are my friend,
When I was down, you just stood there grinning,
You've got a lot of nerve, to say you've got a helping hand to lend,
You just want to be on the side that's winning,
You say I let you down, you know it's not like that,
If you're so hurt why then don't you show it,
You say you lost your faith, but that's not where it's at,
You have no faith to lose, and you know it,
I know the reason that you talk behind my back,
I used to be among the crowd you're in with,
Do you take me for such a fool, to think I'd make contact,
With the ones that tries to hide what he doesn't know to begin with?
You see me on the street, you always act surprised,
You say "how are you?" "good luck," but you don't mean it,
When you know as well as me, you'd rather see me paralyzed
Why don't you just come out once and scream it?
No I do not feel that good when I see the heartbreaks you embrace,
If I was a master thief, perhaps I'd rob them,
And know I know you're dissatisfied with your position and your place,
Don't you understand it's not my problem?
I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes,
And just for that one moment, I could be you,
I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes,
You'd know what a drag it is to see you..."

((I was listening to that on my iPod the other day and it made me smile.))

So... I think Bella might be sick. :( ...That's all I'm gonna say about that.

I was going to get a new BlackBerry with my first paycheck, but I think I'm so over phones. I guess there's only a select few that I text anymore and so I'm just gonna get the iPod touch - I can text from that anyhow. *smiles*

Jenn and I are looking at apartments fervently. It's technically my turn to choose where we live. Jennifer and I equally chose the first two apartments we lived in, we kinda fell into the house, she chose the hotel and now it's my turn - however, she remains that living in a loft downtown will be too expensive. One of these days I shall end her... she's unfortunately talking about living in an area of town I have deemed "white trash" and I refuse to ever say it out loud. We would be close to the stadiums, so closer to downtown, which I suppose a start.

I really need to continue to explain to her the idea of compromise. Jennifer and I are like a married couple - I think it's off putting so "new" people in our lives at times, but once they get past it, they seem to understand we're just like sisters.

Anyhow, back to compromise... I don't want to move to this part of town, but I think I might not have a choice in the matter, so Jenn owes me. I will have my conditions and she will have hers. She still owes me many, many old promises back from when we moved into the hotel! Don't think I won't forget about them either. (I have an idea on what I want in return, but I'm not gonna say it out loud just yet.)

So I wrote a poem... *bites lip* I know, I don't write much, I'm definitely not fantastic - I'm more of a lyricist than a poet, which yes, there are similarities, but blaaah, anyhow. I thought I would share. It doesn't have a title.

The contents of your heart are unreliable and shaky
The words that you call promises
Can be easily bent and broken,
These erratic and irregular beats
That unbeknownst to you were forced upon me
Turn my world upside down in such a way that I cannot see
I wouldn't expect you to sympathize,
Your world continues turning while my world revolved around you,
And you are all I'm allowed to see
The moments before you dragged painfully
And now the moments with you are long,
it's hard to cope in the moment you're gone
Because before you I was strong

That's all for today, kiddies. I hope I have a little less time on Twitter and more time for you. :) [[but that'll only happen if you comment! Yes, I know you read!]]

This made me think words that I will not repeat in public::


Well hello there. I love the blood on your pants, here... let me get that for you...

xoxox