Merry Happy

"I wonder how you sleep,
I wonder what you think of me,
If I could go back, would you have ever been with me?
I want you to be uneased,
I want you to remember,
I want you to believe in me,
I want so much, so bad..."

I just haven't felt like blogging lately... don't know why. I guess I go through periods...

Thanksgiving was pretty interesting and crappy, so I'll skip to the better parts. Well, I was sick, just like I was last year - except this year I could actually halfway taste my dinner.

We went to the Plaza lights and were in about 4th row. Andrew waved at me. I got some good video and pics, which I still need to take off of my camera.

...The day before Thanksgiving I spent 5 hours in the ER with an IV in my arm. That's all I'll say about that.

We went to the Zona Rosa shopping thing... which was, um... the first 1000 people in line at midnight got a free $25 gift card to use by 3a in the shopping center. Jenn and I froze outside for 4 hours.

I got a headband and a some hair clips from the kiddie section and then we both built a bear. (Mine is named Heath.) and then we went and had ice cream.

Oh yeah, I chopped off all my hair. It's super duper freaking fucking short. ;-)

But I reckon the most exciting thing here is that my birthday is in a few hours... I had my birthday celebration with my Mama yesterday. We went to this mexican place that I like and she gave me this awesome wrap thing that can be a skirt, a shirt or a dress. It's fancy. LOL

Gemma and I had a date tonight and she wished me a Happy Birthday first from the UK. YAY!!

Tomorrow I'm not doing a whole lot... Jenn and I are going to go get me wasted. LOL Wednesday I'm having my cake and more booze... and my birthday dinner, which I don't know what I'm having... ooh, and I don't know where I'm eating tomorrow... oh well... Friday I think we're also drinking. Haha, liqour filled birthdays are the bestest.

You know, birthdays are great and I love em to death and all, but right now there's only one thing I can think about... The Academy Awards. They pushed up the release of the nominations from February 2nd to January 22nd...

Take a minute, let that sink in...

Yes, January 22nd is also the day that Heath Ledger died. That day was going to be hard enough for me (and Heath's family) and now I have to add that to the list of stuff to do that day. I know he'll be nominated, and if there's a God in Heaven he better win... If he DOESN'T win? Well that's gonna be a bad day for me...

On January 22nd Jenn and I are going to get our Heath tattoos. We're also taking the day to watch Heath's movies and whatnots.

Anyhow, I'm bored with this post now and I'm just not feeling like myself, really. I've been dizzy for about 3 days now.

Hope you had a good holiday. Comments are appreciated.

Pic:



It's not getting any easier.

Speaking of which... Michelle finally opened up about Heath's death...

"Williams is jovial and chatty, until the conversation turns to Heath. You can see it's still difficult for her to talk about him, and she hasn't done so publicly until now. The first time Ledger's name comes up, she bursts into tears.
"It's so sad," Williams says. When she's asked about how she's been doing in the past year, she's silent for a very long time.
"I guess it's always changing," she says. There's another pause. "What else can I say?" Her voice is breathy and fragile, and she takes a few gulps of air. "I just wake up each day in a slightly different place—grief is like a moving river, so that's what I mean by 'it's always changing'." She stops again. "It's a strange thing to say"—her words unravel slowly, her eyes tear up—"because I'm at heart an optimistic person, but I would say in some ways it just gets worse. It's just that the more time that passes, the more you miss someone. In some ways it gets worse. That's what I would say."

I couldn't agree more. She has said it perfectly.

(For the record, I don't for one second think that I have it worse than she does. She has the memories to relive and she has to look at his daughter every day. It must be the hardest thing she's ever gone through.)

xoxox