No Idea What Kinda Shit Was Gonna Go Down

"Cath... she stands, with a well intentioned man, 
But she can't relax, with his hand on the small of her back..." 

What is there to say here?

Besides the massive hangover that I endured yesterday, it was a good day. Today was fine up until about 15 minutes ago. Somehow life can change just that quickly.

When battling depression... well, I guess I don't really "battle" it, the only thing I really do to cope with it is try and involve myself in as many Monkey shows as possible - they honestly make me feel like I've got a good dose of Zoloft in my system... when battling depression, it's easy to go from 10 to 1 very quickly.

Disappointment is my biggest ache.

Who am I kidding? I have high expectations of everyone, of myself and the whole entire world.

I'm perpetually disappointed.

Whenever I Want You All I Have To Do Is Dream

"And all this time oblivious, 
To what you made so obvious, 
I can't believe I never noticed my heart before..." 


Last night was a good night. :) First off, Jennifer brought home Cabin Fever 2, which we had been trying to watch for several days now... I loved the first one - Jennifer isn't into all the gore and stuff... but Cabin Fever 2? 


Oh let me see here. I have so much to say about this film. 


First of all, in the description for it, it says that it picks up right where Cabin Fever left off, which it does... it also says that Rider Strong is in it... which, errm... 


The movie was shot back in Spring 2007, but shelved and held up forever in post... (Read the IMDb if you care to know why...) 


Anyhow, I was really looking forward to seeing a sequel where one of the leads from the first actually stayed in the movie, however... (*SPOILER*, but the movie sucked and you shouldn't see it anyway, so keep reading...) Rider Strong literally gets killed DIRECTLY after the opening credits. Srs. I was so disappointed... 


Not to mention that the "special effects" and makeup in this thing were horrendous. Beyond fixable. I literally could have made a better gore movie with my digital camera. True story.  I hated it. We so wasted a dollar on it when we could have just rented Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs again. 


After that mess of a movie, we decided to watch the St. Rocke show that I got on DVD from a very lovely Twitter follower. :D It was my first time seeing the show in it's entirety since actually being in LA. 


*breathless sigh* 


I wish there were a way for me to put into words how much it meant to me that she sent me this DVD... All of the moments I loved while at the show were on the DVD... Not to mention a few things that I missed while at the actual concert, like the cutest little giggle from a certain Monkeys mouth as he took my hand. 


While we were in the midst of watching the Monkey DVD they released their next slew of dates. :) Much to my surprise and approval, of course! Annnnnd... KANSAS CITY!!! EEEP! It was a perfect moment. Also, happy to see them going back to Tulsa. :) Tulsa was my favorite show thus far on the tour... and it was my first for this tour... I had to talk Jennifer into going back to Tulsa, but it wasn't that hard. Yaay! 


Also!! They're playing the Beaumont Club! I *knew* this is where they would play and I kept checking their official site, KNOWING this is where the Monkeys would play. There are many "pros" to playing this club, but I'd like to keep my advantage, so I'm not going to name them here. I'm happy that the boys will be on home turf. Now instead of driving 3-8 hours to see them... I have to drive 15 minutes.


Talked to Willow today for 2 hours. :) I love doing that... when we get on the phone we're always on it for like, fuckever... I digress... (see what I did there?!) I'm officially STOKED to go to Louisville. Totes. Stoked. Of the released dates for Monkey boys I'm planning on attending 6 of the posted shows. (Not counting Dallas. Cuz then that would make 9... meanwhile, I've been to 9 Monkey shows... so that would mean that by the time Dallas is over I will have been to 18 Monkey shows. O_O ...if they don't add anymore that I can get to... my god. *rubs plastic Jesus*) 


We had planned on going to Ohio, but shit happens... Detroit was supposed to be my 15th show... now... Kansas City is my 15th show. Gaaah, that worked out perfectly. Remember how I was just saying that shit happens for a reason?!?! ...Well?! *holds out hands at example before you* 


Alright, enough about those boys... swiftly moving on. 


After we watched St. Rocke I suggested we watch something on Netflix... I wanted to watch something scary and I was naming off the horrors it listed and casually mentioned Interview With A Vampire, to which Jennifer replies that she's never seen it before... we tried to watch it then and Netflix was apparently having a bad day and didn't wish to accommodate us with that particular movie... 


I then suggested Nightmare On Elm Street (the first one) and she said that she had never seen that one either! Oh, well snap!! So we watched it, she got scared... 


I saw it for the first time when I was in 6th grade. I had asked my parents waay back in the day (when I lived with my father) if I could see it and they vehemently disapproved. (I lived on Elm street for the majority of my childhood... yeaaaah, kinda glad they didn't let me see it. I would have cried.)  But of course when I moved in with my Mama I immediately wanted to see it... It was very scary the first time that I saw it... but watching it back last night? I didn't jump or flinch... 


However! 


I'm very fucking stoked to see the new re-make! Just saw the new released trailer. Looks badass. I can't wait! 


Picture of the Day:

It's been a while since I put up a photo of any of the boys, and this one has a purpose... love this pic, by the way... props to the chick who took it. 


When I saved it I titled this picture "why do you never wear a tie when I see you" because out of the 9 shows that I've been to, Jackson has never worn a tie... meanwhile, I think he looks beyond handsome and so sexy in ties. *nudge, nudge, hint hint... Des Moines.*


(Now I'll stand there with my mouth agape if he wears a tie in Des Moines... You know I will.)

Intimacy & Love

"Be your best friend, yeah, I'll love you forever, 
Up in the clouds, we'll be higher than ever... 
So happy I could die..." 

We all know that you can have sex with someone and not be in love with them, just like you can be in love with someone and not have sex with them. But here I sit and ponder where to find the perfect balance of intimacy and love.

I refuse to get too personal with this post, but I have many opinions on this matter, I have rarely shared my own personal experiences on the subject.

I suppose we don't all crave love, just like I suppose we don't all crave sex. It's safe to say that most of us crave the latter more intensely than we crave love. We look at random strangers on the street or musicians and actors in magazines and our fantasies begin to spin wildly in our minds. It's only natural for us to project like that.

I'm sure there are many, many out there who project with love and not sex. They look at those same strangers walking the street, the musicians and actors in the magazines and think of the beautiful home they could share together, they think of the wedding they would have and how they would love each other harder than anyone has ever loved before...

So where do we find this perfect balance? How can we have the perfect blend of intimacy and love? Is there such a love where the desire to be with each other will never fade? When you're truly in love, will your pheromones take over and you'll crave the touch of one another?

I'm either hopeful enough, or naive enough to say that, yes, I believe that. I do believe in the perfect balance... that some people are more suited for the long term than others and that there can be people who were just *MEANT* to be together.

You have stars.

From the moment that you are born there are certain things written in your stars that are destined to happen in your life. You take a screen shot of the stars from the date, time and place where you are born and you can learn more about that person than you ever imagined...

So if you were destined to go through all this pain in your childhood, if you were destined to have music in your life for these three particular reasons... then why can't you be destined to love someone? And with that destiny, if all your stars aligned... why couldn't you be destined to have incredible intimacy?

While my views on "God" and religion are shaky, I still believe and have faith in fate... sure, you can change your fate with every minute decision that you make, but eventually it's all fate...

People are put into your path for a reason. Things, events, changes... they all happen for a reason.

I have a lot that I must find out.

xx

[Insert Clever Title Here]

"if ever we should meet on your side of the stereo, 
I will pretend I know not of your thoughts, 
And even the way that they mirror my own..." 

Busy, busy... Yesterday was something else. My Mama came and picked me up so that we could go back to her house and I could help her build a website for Pam's business... first though we went to Panera. I was good. :) I had a Greek salad and water. I seriously debated for a long time if I should just say "fuck it" and get a sandwich. God, I love their bread...

After that we went to this gym they were thinking about opening and we got the tour, got to swim (I did laps) and then we hot tubbed and enjoyed the stream room and the sauna...

They decided to join the gym and they put me down on their family thingy. :D Yay! Now I get to go spend hella time at the gym. I live for pools, saunas... steam rooms are the best.

After that we went to the grocery store to pick up something for dinner, my Mama was being awfully helpful when I told her that I was doing the no-carbs thing... we both got salads and when I picked up 2 packets of dressing she corrected me and told me to just get one. That was a good moment. :) She saved me from unnecessary calories.

We watched Nanny McPhee, which was... interesting, I suppose. Wasn't the greatest movie. Then again, I'm not 8.

Later on my Mama gave me some of the clothes that she "un-grew". Both her and Pam have lost a lot of weight and so I made out like a bandit! XD I got an entire sack full of 'new' clothes from my Mama including some really awesome lounge pants, a pair of super cute pin stripe pants, a sexsi pair of black jeans and a 2 sweaters that are sooo awesome.

(Some of the clothes fit me, some are a little too tight and some don't fit right now - but that's what the gym is for, right?)

My Mama and I used to fight so hard on clothes. She used to dress just basically ridiculous and then hated everything I wore and I guess as we both got older our tastes seemed to blend. I've calmed down some in my clothing choices and she's gone more mainstream... somehow we met in the middle.

I spent the night at her house last night and I guess I've been up for almost 3 hours now... we haven't done anything, she's been working on the website all day... she said she would cut my hair though. I hope that still happens. I haven't had a haircut since November 2008. Literally. That was when I chopped it all off and it was boy short... I haven't even had it trimmed since then. (I've trimmed my own bangs.) I'm hoping to get my hair back to a healthy state so that I can grow it out.

Hair is weird... I mean, you don't just have this endless supply of hair inside your skull, yet it just melds to the hair that's already there... man, that's insane.

Picture of the Day:

Uhhh...

*searches forever*

Marty Party. Doesn't he look thrilled?

10x10

"I am a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard, 
Handful of complaints but I can't help the fact that everyone can see these scars..." 

Jennifer and I have been watching a lot of movies lately... first we watched The Stepfather, which had a slow start, was pretty good but had a fail ending. Next we watched Burn After Reading and on the way home after renting it I said to her, "Yay Coen Brothers!" She said, "what?" And I said, "they also directed Fargo..." (We had just watched Fargo the day before) She replied with the heaviest of sighs.

I loved Burn After Reading. I thought it was fucking hilarious. I dare say that I liked it almost more than Fargo... which is classic. My Mama and I can have an entire conversation in Minnesota speak and Fargo quotes. It's quite fantastic. :)

Then we went back and rented Labor Pains with Lindsay Lohan... It was something that sounded like it had a good plot and then the downfall was going to be Lindsay Lohan... well, turns out it's got quite a few "name" actors in it and it wasn't terrible! I definitely laughed, only rolled my eyes like once, which is more than I can say for like, Twilight. So yeah, not going to buy the DVD or anything, but it wasn't bad!

Last night we watched The Proposal... completely predictable, but still funny... errrm... mostly that would be Betty White and her badass self and Ryan Reynolds and his hot self. Sandra Bullock... I don't really know what to think of her. Still. After all these years. To me she kinda seems like one step above Jennifer Aniston - like she just plays the same rolls over and over and always plays each roll the same. She was better in this movie than in others, though. I'll give her that.

I said to Jennifer while we were watching The Proposal, "And the trend for tonight is 'lying to keep your job'." (Labor Pains) We always seem to watch movies in a row that have to do with the other somehow... themes like cheating, cheesy music, certain actors... etc...

Saw the new Timberlake and Timbaland video for "Carry Out" yesterday. I definitely expected something more amazing from them. I was highly disappointed. Justin looked like he stepped out of the Like I Love You era and his part of the video seemed to be straight out of his video for My Love. It was tired, played and unoriginal. Lame. Sick song, lame video... but then I guess who cares about music videos these days now that there's no "music television"...?

You're probably wondering what the title is about for todays post... or you've just accepted the fact that I'm completely random and you've gotten over it.

10 days until my 10th Monkey show! 10x10

I'm beyond stoked. I am addicted now for sure... I don't know how I went from August to November without seeing them... well, I have one idea. Not sure how I made it from November until January without seeing them -- that one for sure... Managed to survive this long between shows, I suppose. It's been 15 days since I've seen them -- going to be another ten... jeez, that's nearly a month. O_O

Ooh! I got Jerad his present! ...I have to make it... Nowhere had exactly what I was looking for so fuck that, I'm just going to make it. *nods once* ...I also may have gotten Jay a lil something... Still have to get a few other things for the other boys. :)

I'm going to my Mama's house today to help her build a website for her wife's practice... I'm also going to make her get a Twitter while I'm over there. Will be fun.

Picture of the Day:

Have I mentioned of late how much I love her? I don't think I have. I love her and her sloppy kisses.

Where Things Just Come To Die

"I was born a unicorn, 
I coulda sworn you believed in me, 
Then how come all the other unicorns are dead?"

Today was a good day. Had a weird start, but I abruptly woke up at 8a... strangely, I was in an excellent mood and have been awake for the whole day - no naps... Jennifer and I pittered about, I read some... we watched Aladdin and talked.

You know, I haven't seen Aladdin in probably ten years and I somehow own it on DVD. I have no idea how that happened.

We watch a movie together every night before bed... sometimes we make it onto a second movie, some nights we fall asleep before the first one is over. (Most nights we watch Twister or Wanted.) We've been through nearly our entire DVD collection several times. (I won't watch the Heath Ledger movies; she won't watch the Brittany Murphy movies...)

So today we found Aladdin, Beverly Hills Chihuahua and Fargo. I said instantly, "FARGO!" I love Fargo. It's fucking hilarious... but, I guess you have to have that sense of humor for that sort of thing... she persuaded me into Aladdin, said we could watch Fargo together when she got home, but I really do believe that I'll probably end up watching it before she gets home from work.

Speaking of Jennifer and work... yesterday she was supposed to get off work at 7p... she called me at 6 to say that Marcus, the other manager "didn't want to close" and so he offered her the rest of his shift plus $50 out of pocket to take it.

I was aggravated with this because I was looking forward to her coming home at 7... But she said she would stop by the store, get some things for mexican and margaritas and that we'd have a night together when she got home... at like 130a.

So I decided to take a shower about 11ish and towards the end of my shower I felt really sick like I was going to throw up, felt really dizzy and didn't even bother rinsing my hair all the way. My vision narrowed and I stumbled out of the shower and onto the bed. (Yep, naked and soaking wet.) I guess that's what I get for not eating all day... funny, my body has never had reactions to it like that before.

After laying down for a while I felt better, Jenn got home and we watched Idle Hands, had mexican and margaritas as planned. :) Win.

Alright, now this is the part of the blog where I out someone for something they did to me without outing them... because I know they read my blog and I'm not the type of girl to put another one on blast. So... here goes. Today someone made me upset. If you know me for two seconds you know a few things that should be named "The Untouchables"... these are things that are mine or will be mine someday... plan your life accordingly. Apparently, this chick didn't get the memo... and tried to take one of my Untouchables. I promptly rerouted her to her previous destination... The intersection of In Your Dreams St & Please Go The Fuck Away Cir.

Pic of the Day:

I love Twitter, I love my phone. But I fucking guarantee you that's going to be the last thing I'm worried about in this moment of my life. My future husband, please slap me if my cell is even on... and I'll slap you if yours is as well. ;)

Bang, Bang

"And it's okay to eat fish, cuz they don't have any feelings..." 

I started writing something a few days ago when I was at Starbucks. I think I shall finish writing that and then post it here...

*goes off to write*

Things to do Before May, a short essay.

By Jodie Platz

As I sit here at my local Starbucks, perturbed, I drink my Venti Iced Coffee. (Sweetened, no room for cream.) If the world were a Venti Iced Coffee… well wait… the world is a Venti Iced Coffee. The world is a little bitter, a little cold and absolutely addictive and exhilarating. 

I sit here and try to map out my life from here until May. Until at least May. I’m booked through August, however. I don’t know how that happens, but I always seem to pile plans on top of plans on top of plans on top of shit.

You know, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything. Digressions. A word that I don’t use often, for I feel that it belongs to Willow Raine and Holden Caulfield. But I do believe this moment calls for one, so, I digress… 

 The list of things that must be completed by May keep piling up. Cameras must be purchased; computers must be detailed and emptied… weight must be lost… clothes must be bought. Monkeys must be seen. So daily I run through the tasks at hand, pondering how on earth I will fake my way through this one… pondering how on earth I will complete all that needs to be taken care of. 

I still don’t have that answer yet. If you think of something, please let me know. 

Slowly plans are being made and tended to in order to keep this life on track. Monkey shows are being planned, carefully. Cameras? Well, technically it’s just the one camera… and I’m still working on that plan. Weight must first be lost before new clothes can be bought – therefore there is a plan in action for said weight loss. How well that will go over remains to be seen… 

The life has been slow yet hectic at the same time, which doesn’t make much sense to me… confuses the fuck out of me and I don’t particularly like it. I've had more to think about lately, a lot more on my plate which equals a lot more on my mind. None of which I care to share with you on such a public forum.

At least I have friends to lose weight with. That's not something that I could do by myself... 2 of my friends are going to go through this with me - neither of them have as much to lose as I do, of course... both are stronger than I am... however I am one up on them. They're both addicted to soda.

I drink soda about once a month and then I'll go through about 2 days where all I drink is root beer. Other than that the only thing I drink is ice water or seltzer water... with the occasional iced tea. I do understand why people get addicted to pop, and I know that it's a terribly horrible thing to have to quit, so I do feel bad for them... I do... but in the end it'll just be so much better for them if they can stop drinking it altogether.

Me? My problem? Food in general. I can go days and days without eating anything and I won't even feel hungry at all, the worst part is that once food touches my lips, I can't stop. I need to learn control. That once I eat a small something that it isn't the gateway to eat anything and everything... well, Jodie... good luck with that. I've been dealing with my disordered eating since I was a child. I even wonder if there's hope for me now that I'm 25. Perhaps I am that old dog and you just can't teach me new tricks. I wish that my parents had taught me about food skills early on in life... Of course if they read this they would just blame me...

Anyone else want to join us in trying to lose weight? The goal date is Legacy.

Swiftly moving on... Something I love happened on my desktop this morning. :) Today is the 15th and it's 15 days until I get to see the Monkeys again. (I have a little countdown thingy that helps me keep track of days...) I love it when the days add up like that. Always when I'm counting down to my birthday it's always 31 days until my birthday on October 31st... making for a happy Halloween.

Picture of the Day:

Why couldn't I have learned about self control and self respect when I was 9? This was the last time I was a size 4... I wonder if my bones would even let me be a size 4 now...? I mean, this was pre-puberty, so my hips would have been smaller than they are now...? Yes? Either way...

Looking back at photos from this shoot I think about how at this point in my life I didn't understand eating disorders, that I didn't understand self harm... while my body had already had it's fair share of cuts, scrapes, burns, bruises and scars - it's nowhere near the shape that it's in now... that's for sure. Pre-tattoos, pre-piercings... (minus the one in each ear...) and well before I knew what it feel like to drag a knife across my skin.

In this picture, I was blissful and all too innocent. I had never colored my hair. I had never kissed a boy. I didn't have a clue that this wouldn't last. That someday (not that far away) I would be fat... all too easily... I would be taken advantage of, again, all too easily... I would willfully place scars along my body when I once tried to avoid them... I would try. I would try. Try at many things... try at life, try at death... try to live, try to breathe, try to be free...

I suppose that's all life is... Trying.

Rings Of Smoke Through The Trees

"Well I'm drawn in the smoke, 
And I'm starting to choke, 
As I put on my coat, 
With this lighter I hold, 
Oh it's the flame that's delivering another fine dose, 
Of that sweet, sweet smoke..." 

Today would be what all couples call "Valentine's Day". As I posted on my Facebook status earlier today: "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? If you are single on Valentine's Day, do you need to acknowledge it's existence?" 


It is something to think about, isn't it? Today is just February 14th for me. You know what else? Up until about 10 minutes ago, I thought today was Saturday. Apparently Saturday fell off the map. Today is Sunday. Plan your life accordingly.


"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye." - Miss Piggy

I used to want to be Miss Piggy so badly. I adored her relationship with Kermit, although I really felt like she loved him waay more than he ever loved her back. Pity. She's a catch. ;) [[Fun fact about Jodie; for my 7th birthday party I had so many helium balloons that I went around pretending I was Gonzo from The Muppet Movie. #winatlife]]

Kermit: "Gonzo! What are you doing?" 
Gonzo: "About seven knots!" 

I think I'm dehydrated. 2 days ago I drank half a gallon of water and 3 cups of juice... yesterday I drank another half gallon of water and after having to pee every ten minutes I decided I was done drinking, even though I was still thirsty.

Now I'm sitting here... thirsty. Again.

My dreams have been very lucid lately. Every morning for the past several years I've always woken up with a song in my head... don't know how, don't know where it comes from -- it's not like it's the same song that I heard the day before or anything like that, sometimes it'll be a song that I haven't heard for years and it'll just pop into my head in my sleep... anyways, for the past few days I've meant to Twitter the song that I wake up with, but I can never find my phone with my eyes closed...

Perhaps I'll try and remember to do that tomorrow morning.

Back to my dreams... about a week ago I guess it was, I had a dream in which I lost a tooth. I texted my friends and said, "in true Reaper form, last night I had a dream where I lost my teeth..." 

Now, for those who know me or know me well, know that I take excellent care of my teeth, that I've had extensive dental work done in order to correct my massive overbite as a child.

This is a picture of me from 1992 with my facemask, this was post hyrax, pre-braces... I had a massive overbite and in order for them to correct this before puberty, I had to have extensive dental work done. I had spacers for my hyrax before I even entered kindergarten.

The hyrax stretched across the roof of my mouth and it had a tiny key that my dad had to crank three times each night before I went to bed - this stretched the roof of my mouth wider. (With an overbite, you bottom jaw goes over your top teeth, making you look like a pit bull instead of your bottom fitting inside the top like it should... the hyrax was making the roof of my mouth wider than my bottom jaw. Had they waited until puberty hit I would have had to have some of my bottom jaw removed in order for it to fit correctly.)

After that I had the facemask (pictured above) and that pulled my front teeth forward, pushing my bottom jaw backwards. I was lucky that I didn't have to wear it during school -- I only had to wear it 6 weeks and then I slept in it for 6 weeks... It wasn't so bad, actually. I didn't mind it much.

Next was standard braces. I didn't need a full set; top four teeth, bottom four teeth... I can't remember how long I wore those for but I do remember always picking out fun colors for my rubber bands. (When I would have dance recitals I would put pink and black bands on there since those were my dance team colors. ^_^)

When I got into a car wreck in 2002, I nearly went through the windshield, I got completely smashed up, broke three fingers, was carted away on a stretcher and had to go through rehabilitation in order to move my neck correctly; but the only thing I cared about seconds after the wreck was if all my teeth were still intact. I literally checked them before I even noticed I had broken anything.

So for me to have this dream that I lose my teeth... it's... graphic. What one could consider a "worst nightmare" situation. Dream Moods says that losing your teeth is a sign of fear or anxiety. Also since teeth are a sign of power, it could be the feeling of losing your control and power over a situation... since this dream happened right after my return from LA - it definitely makes sense. All my worries... all my anxieties... most of which cannot be quelled for another 16 days.

Picture of the Day:

Speaking In Tongues

"To the center of your heart, oh Cleopatra is the only one you love..." 

I have learned so much today. :) I learned that I am not only old, but I am also very young in comparison. Funny. Swiftly moving on...

17 days until I see Monkeys again... I was so spoiled in Vegas/LA... I had just seen them two weeks before in Tulsa and then I went to Vegas... few days later turned around and went to LA... now I am "forced" to wait it out 17 days until I can see them again. Then again... it could always be worse. They are fucking addictive. I should alert them of such.

I've been writing down my improv ideas so that I don't catch Jay too off guard again. ;) All of the ones I've written down thus far are G and PG... of course I just know that at the next show I'm at they'll ask for an improv and Jay will look at me and be like, "from anyone but you." XD

Oops...?

I'm pretty stoked for these 17 days to pass... I have a kick ass gift to give to my BFF.

I reckon I do have something pretty big to tell y'all... of course I've been cry, cry, crying for a new DSLR for the longest time... every time I almost buy a new one, something happens and I can no longer afford it... my Canon 780is point and shoot has been getting me by for a while now... and we all know when I went through my Nikon D60 phase... and then the downfall that was the discontinue of it... :(

So now I'll try to tell you something without telling you anything... I've been hired to do a big photography job, something that I *need* a DSLR for and I seriously cannot ask to borrow my Mama's again without her killing me... so I've been back to my DSLR research... and... well... I have decided.

I was going to get the Nikon D5000, but after I held others, shot with others, looked at features and specs... I have decided on the Canon XSi.

Yep. Canon. Here I was going "Oh how badly I want a Nikon... please, please, please!" And then I shot with both of them and easily was swayed back over to Canon... Heh. Funny. Hoping to get the new camera by the end of March... of course, those damn Monkeys... *shakes head, smiling* (You know I love my Mnkys.)

Do you ever write something knowing that someone will read it...? I mean, someone in particular...? I feel that way a lot lately.

I need a new computer. Hardcore.

Need, need, need... I'm almost sick of that word. Can't imagine how y'all feel hearing it from me.

I waaant a new tattoo... Hopefully in May... that's bad when there's so much going on that I have to plan out tattoos and extracurricular activities like that... May... so close, yet so fucking far.

The other day Jennifer and I were at the mall when she mentioned that I needed new jeans... yes. Yes, I do. I finally had to retire my poor pathetic skinny jeans (after wearing them about three times after they SHOULD have been retired...) after Nashville. So I've been stuck with icky boot leg jeans, which do not flatter me... I know that bigger girls should always be conscious of what they're wearing, and trust me when I say that no one is more conscious of that than I am -- but skinny jeans actually look better on me than anything else.

I hate when big girls wear clothes that they swim in -- listen, I get it; you're fat... that doesn't mean that you can't be attractive, sexy, desirable... with a figure and a shape! Trust!

So we go into this store and Jenn mentions that they have layaway... I say, "what? Nowhere has layaway anymore..." and so she goes up and asks the sales person and apparently they were having a special for layaway, too... I was like, "DUDE!" So I picked out four pairs of skinny jeans to try on... the first one was the size I usually get and they didn't fit. (Too small.) I was like, "Oh shit. No, no, no... please tell me I didn't get fatter..." #iwouldcry

Next I tried on this pair of really cute ones that were a size smaller than what I usually wear, but it was all they had - and they fit! Yay! #winatlife So I definitely had to get those... didn't like the third pair; too dark. And the fourth pair had like rips and tears in them... too cool for school... had to get those... both of the jeans were a size smaller than what I normally get! :) Don't know what was up with the first pair I tried on, but fuck em.

I haven't even been consciously trying to lose weight, but I reckon all the travel and the Mnkys has something to do with it... never have time to eat; always run, run, running. (Running to terminals, running to hug friends, running away from Twilight fans... etc...) Of course now I am consciously trying to lose weight... 17 days.

Pic of the Day:

But All The Crying Voices Can't Turn It Around

"Who gives a fuck about an oxford comma...?" 

God it feels different to be back in my own bed... after a long week of travel and Monkeys I am finally back in Kansas City.

I have posted my photos on my photography site, please feel free to check them out and pass the link around a bit. ;) I've also revamped the site... My portfolio section was getting cluttered with 100 Monkeys live photos, though that's what I predominately am - a live music photographer - I felt that my live music concert photographs deserved a section of their own so I now have 2 portfolios. There's also a contact section on the site now.

I hope that y'all managed to watch the live feed of the Saint Rocke show -- I'm not going to review it.

LA didn't exactly go over as planned, but I do have some pretty great photos to brag about. As far as Willow goes... she has a new badass tattoo to brag about. ;)

Ben G of 100 Monkeys wrote "I Digress..." on her wrist the night of the show and the next day we went together to a tattoo parlor in Inglewood to get the tattoo done.

Few highlights of the show for me:

-Jackson smacking my hand with the guitar during "Wings On Fire" when I held up my lighter... :) Oops.
-Jerad giving me my ritualistic high-five on stage.
-Talking to Uncle before the show about tattoos and he told me about his new one... after I touched his arm and he said, "careful sweetheart, just got a new tattoo..." Oops again.
-Jerad telling me he's been planning his life accordingly. XD Best moment ever.
-Singing Ben G happy birthday and being there as he wrote on Willow's arm. :)
-Shocking the "utter hell" out of Jackson... don't reckon that happens often.

Some highlights of my airplane travels to and from Los Angeles:

-Falling asleep 2 times, on 2 separate flights before take off and missing the air waitress when she came by for drinks.
-Watching The Invention Of Lying on demand. For free.
-Getting squirted with juice from a sippy cup.
-Not being apologized to after getting sprayed with said juice.
-Burning off everything I ate in LA as I walked to my terminal at the Houston airport. Everything is bigger in Texas...
-Being in gate 69 TWICE on my trip...
-Giggling when on the last flight home they said, "we've reached our cruising altitude of 35,000 feet..."
-Breaking out into "Arizona" when I realized that's where my first layover was.
-Realizing I relate almost everything to music and Mnkys.

Few favorite pictures from the Hermosa Beach show... check out the rest of them on my photography site.

This is my desktop background for the moment... with the words "masochistic fashion suits me nicely." :)

This was taken during the improv after I shocked Jackson. :) This photo just made the deal even sweeter.

Jackson and the best friend praising the drummer god that is, Ben Johnson.

Fucking rockstar. He's too much rock.

Check out the others here. There's some great ones that I didn't post! ;)

Rock on,

Jodie

On The Way To LA; The Airport Blog

"She's gone to Arizona, with my money, with my money..." 

I am in Arizona. I found it funny as all hell when I realized where my layover was (you know, 10 minutes before we landed...) and I started singing "Arizona" in my head.

Yesterday was hectic. I won tickets to the Monkeys show from Saint Rocke, the venue that's holding the Monkey show tonight. Willow and I are beyond stoked for that! I was beyond stoked for all the @ mentions I got congratulating me! Y'all are seriously waay too good to me. I think I'll keep you around.

Last night I didn't get any sleep before getting ready for my 6a flight. And still with no sleep and all that time to prepare, I left late for the airport, didn't get to the airport until about 525a had to literally RUN to get my boarding pass and then I had to RUN to airport security, threw my stuff on the conveyer belt, hurry hurry, rush rush and then POP onto the plane... I was so thirsty and out of breath at the end of it.

They had to spend a very long time de-icing our plane... not a whole bunch of fun, that is.

I'm super stoked to finally get to LA and see Willow. She's never been out this far West before and this is only her 2nd plane trip, this is also the first Monkeys show that we get to see just by ourselves! So this is a bunch of firsts!

This will by my 2nd time out to LA; I spent an entire week there in May of 2008 recording my album that never happened. (You can read about that experience here in the one year recap... or head back to the May 2008 blogs here on my journal and read it as it happened.) I just went back and re-read that post I wrote and I said that I would probably start recording again at the beginning of the year. Wow, well, it's February 2010 now, definitely the beginning of the year and while I do have some studio time planned, I really am having such a wonderful time focusing on Monkeys and my photography right now.

Funny how life changes.

Funny how nothing... will ever... stay the same.

I've wanted the same dream since I was 6 years old; to be a recording artist. While that's still a dream of mine I have yet to fully accomplish -- (I have 60 songs recorded to date, over 20 notebooks full of lyrics, etc... so that's why I say "fully" accomplish - I have partly accomplished my dream.) I am not ready to give up the dream yet. I can, however, be brave and courageous and put it on hold while I pursue other dreams of mine. (A person is allowed to have more than one dream, you know...?)

I am hoping that LA will be as fabulous as Willow wants it to be. I know that I put so much into my first trip to LA, that I expected so much out of it -- and really, it's quite as fabulous as they say it is, if you're into that sort of thing... ;) But it's definitely a love it or hate it kind of thing. Guess we'll find out soon enough!

Willow's on her way to LA as I type this. :) We both arrive at noon... insane. I love how that worked out. (Technically I land 6 minutes ahead of her, but that's a good thing, hopefully I can quickly get to her gate in time to greet her as she gets off the plane.)

I do love LAX; I was super impressed with it the last time I was there. They have "experienced flyer" lanes so you don't get stuck behind the family of six that has never flown anywhere before. I hopped into the lane right behind the business guys, easily keeping up with them. Love it.

Jennifer says that I travel well. :) I think that's one of the highest compliments that you can give me. I love traveling and yes, I'm pretty good at it. I'm the most experienced traveler out of my family.

Anyhow, about an hour or so till I have to board... gonna check out all the shit I've been missing from being so busy.

The show tonight is being streamed live - so check it out here! Look for Willow and I and if anyone can record the stream from their computer to send to me, I'll worship the ground you walk on like you're a Guitar God. ;) [[And I usually only save that kind of worshiping for certain people!]]

Rock on,

Jodie

The Official Vegas/100 Monkeys Blog

"He was just a city; she's just a dirt road
But that never meant a thing, 
Running from the country, 
She needed out but, he held that diamond ring, 
Cuz I can't sit and I can't talk 
I gotta leave this town and run to you, 
Curse these nights that speak your name
I gotta leave this town and come to you, 
Break this curse... she barely knew your name..." 

I am going to try and be as accurate as possible, I'm also going to try to get everything in the correct order... but yeah, that's not going to happen, so get over it. Also, there's so much that I could write about the guys, so many things that my mind replays over and over but you know what? I'm keeping most of those things to myself -- I want to show them that by sharing moments with me that it doesn't mean I'll go run and spill it all over my blog or my Twitter unlike some OTHER people...

So the trip to Vegas didn't exactly go as planned. First of all, Willow's flight out of Charlotte got cancelled. Not fun. I'm not impressed whatsoever. Of course, Willow and I are troopers; we will not let this get us down and we'll get back on the horse (so to speak) in no time flat. ;) Promise.

Jennifer and I were very excited to see Vegas again... I may have to edit this blog to include all the things that happened with her because lord knows I can't remember shit when I'm by myself. We stayed at the Motel 6 on Tropicana again, walking distance to the nearly everywhere that you want to go that's on the Strip. When we checked in, however, they gave us a map and fucking directions to get to our hotel room.

As I mentioned before, the Motel 6 on Tropicana is the largest Motel 6 in the world... well, we were in building 5. I was not impressed... twas faaaar!

It was almost surreal that we were in Vegas for the longest time - the experience of the first show went by very quickly. Jennifer and I waited outside and were 4th in line where we met two girls who had gone to the Salt Lake show -- Crystal and Alissa. They became our buddies for the day and we were inseparable.

When the doors opened we booked it to the front row, of course...




















The guys didn't have an opening act for the first show, played for about 30 minutes to about 15-25 people. They played "The Monkey Song", "Clippity Clop", "Junkie", "Gus" and "Sleeping Giants". (Not in that order.)During the improv we (Crystal, Alissa, Jennifer and I) suggested "Strangers With My Baby" based on a question he answered at TwiCon *rolls eyes at TwiCon*. (Click the link to view the video, tis hilarious.)
















When they took our suggestion Larry goes, "I hope no one sent out an Amber Alert..." XD And then after the improv he goes, "I hope you find your baby..." Larry was fucking ON.

After the improv Jackson looked right at me and said, "do you want to hear a joke?" I kind of paused for a minute, but he was still looking at me - oh, he was actually asking ME! Okay... "Sure, let me have it," I replied and he smiled, "what do you call a dog with no legs?" I shrugged. "Call him anything you want; he won't come." Everyone laughed, I giggled. He finished with, "I would call mine 'Doorstop'."

The boys went and did their meet and greet... the first thing I said to Jerad was, "first of all, high five!" And he high fived me. I said, "you know, I high five you every time I see you..." he goes, "I KNOW!" And I *beamed* -- he signed the picture that I had taken with him and Jackson in Tulsa with the silver Sharpie that I brought... as he was signing I said, "I can't believe you actually remember that..." and he high fived me again. ;) Then I said, "but I have something really serious to tell you too..." I leaned down and his face got very serious as he leaned in. I said, "you're my best friend now, plan your life accordingly." He nodded and smiled wide. :D Twas epic.

You know, I bet that a lot of people who don't know me think one of three things when they hear that...

1) That I was being facetious.
2) That I'm in love with Jerad.
3) That I'm insane-psycho.

Now, I'd like you to know that I'm none of the above. I really and very honestly just love and admire Jerad. From the first time I saw the boys live I knew that he was the ultimate rockstar. He's a fucking face-melting guitar player and he's always been so nicer than nice to me... especially this Vegas trip -- he kinda went "out of his way" to be nice to me, he definitely watched out for my feelings that day, *cough* but then again - that's what best friends do. ;)

Jennifer and I talked to Jerad for a second about Vegas and Tulsa... Jerad said to me, "[Jackson and I] got you sick, didn't we?" I said, "a little, but it's no biggie." It wasn't until later that I was like, "whooooaa... how did he know I was sick?" So I'm guessing... well, wait. I'll keep my guesses to myself.

Jerad passed the photo of us down to Jackson and he was about to sign it when I go, "No, no, no, no! Wait!"  He stopped and dropped the Sharpie, putting his hands up. "What did I do!?" He smiled. I plucked the silver Sharpie out of Jerad's hand and said, "I wanted you to sign it with this." He found it humorous... ;)

I talked to Jackson a bit about guitar slides with Johnson and gave him a DVD of the photos I took in Tulsa plus 2 CDs "for the road", he goes, "for the road!" And then my eyes caught Jerad's and he nodded, "you did good." He reassured me...

After the meet and greet we wandered outside to get something to eat and I flat out ran into Edward Cullen taking pictures with people. There was Michael Jackson just chillin' on the Strip and people would rather have their photo taken with the fictional vampire from Twilight... so I got my picture with him too. XD But I made him wear my sunglasses since it was sunny out and that would make it more accurate. ;) [I thought this entire thing was funny as hell...]

Hahaaa, he was actually British... super fucking tall, I'm 5'8 if that's any indication to how tall he is... probably 6'4.

After eating and calling Willow to give her all the deets we went to the Monkeys soundcheck... we were the only two people in there. (Besides the sound crew who were right next to us - Marty, who was so nice to let us watch it!! And Brady, who was chillin' at a table behind us.)

The guys played "Smoke" and I was uber impressed with their ability to soundcheck; Jackson takes musical direction beautifully. I really would love to watch him work in the studio. I'm sure he's very efficient.

The guys had two opening acts for the second show. The Rooks and Imagine Dragons. Both were pretty good, but Imagine Dragons was face-melting INSANE. Hard Rock fucked up their sound, but they pressed on -- they started late, ran over, but fuck were they amazing. They're playing SXSW this year and I am so jealous... I want to go.

They sound like a cross between The Arcade Fire, The Killers and Mute Math live. Wicked.

Dan, the lead singer of Imagine Dragons. 

The second show started off great - the boys seemed to have more energy this time around, seemed to be in good spirits and played like their lives fucking depended on it...

They played some great songs, "Wings On Fire", "Reaper", "Poison Oak", "Orson Brawl", "Sweet Face", "The Monkey Song", "Koldpix", "Looker", "Keep Awake" and the improv we suggested for "Lipstick On My Collar"... there was another one or two but I can't remember them...

A little ways into the show Jerad high fived me... he's epic. Did I ever tell you that?

During "Wings On Fire", for the chorus I always light my lighter... we were in the front row and I was right in front of Jackson for this song - during the chorus, while my lighter was still lit he came around the mic stand and got in my face, singing the words back to me as I held my lighter up - at the end of the chorus, he blew out my lighter. ;)

He's fucking smooth, let me tell you. That boy knows what he's doing.

Whenever the boys play "The Monkey Song" I always scream out, "I love you Spencer Bell!" and Ben decided to reply this time, he goes, "I love you too, but you know, from Spencer." It was adorable... so now? Spencer loves me. :) Ben said so. Are you going to dispute what Ben said? That's what I thought...

After "Reaper" I smacked a giant roll of duct tape on the stage by Jackson's feet, he smiled and looked up at me, "that's duct tape." :)

You read most of the rest in the last blog about what happened with the mic stand and all that - I'm not going to repeat myself here - we were very sad that they couldn't play the last 30 minutes of their set, especially since Johnson had promised Jennifer that he would sing "Twenty To One" for her that night... they all seemed excited about it, as well... Major bummer.

After the boys came back on stage to tear down their equipment, we got to talk to Jackson, Jerad and Johnson a bit -- won't go into those details, but god they're good boys. You know? How can you not love them?

Some of my favorite photos of the guys from the second show:

The next day we went out to dinner with Phil and his girlfriend... We met Phil at while working the Justin Timberlake Shriners Hospitals for Children Open in 2008 and we met up with him again in 2009 when we were in Vegas for the 10 days -- it was nice that since we were only in town for a few days that we were still able to see him and Deanna.

We talked for over an hour and laughed our asses off. It was really awesome... one part particularly stood out though. Jennifer and I shared a burger at the restaurant and when the waitress asked if medium was okay to cook the meat to, without missing a beat I asked, "do you grind your own meat?"

Everyone went silent.

I said, "It's a legitimate question."

She said, "I'm not sure if we do or not." So I said, "make it medium-well then." And then I had to explain to Phil, Deanna and Jennifer why I asked that. "Someone's been watching too much Food Network," Phil laughed... I got hell for the rest of the night because of it... I think they were impressed that something like that came out of my mouth.

(Once meat is ground its exposed to millions of bacteria; if meat is ground fresh daily - it's not a problem to order your burger medium or medium rare -- which I would have done if I could have been assured that it was fresh...)

Later that night we went out to celebrate Jennifer's birthday and I took some photos while on the strip.

Check out the rest of my photography HERE.

And here's my official statement to the Hard Rock Cafe of Las Vegas:

Rock on,

Jodie