It's funny how your life is broken down between friendships and relationships; houses and jobs; etc... those are the things that you can remember.
I remember far too much... and then again, I can't remember anything at all.
I came across a piece of hate mail directed to me and written in 2008. Probably before anyone who will read this knew me. I was on Google searching trying to find someone I once knew and I was linked back to my own blog and slapped in the face with this slew of comments talking how if I was - and I quote - "run over by a bus and killed that [this person] would be the happiest girl on the planet", how I will "never become anything" and how I was a "stupid bitch ruining everyone's life and just a waste of space on this earth".
Reading back those hurtful and hateful comments made me feel so unwanted all over again. It didn't matter what it was about... it hurt to read it again. It didn't matter who said it, when or what it was regarding... it hurt.
I realize it now as cyber bullying. This person basically encouraged me to kill myself numerous times. Imagine that -- imagine being so hated by someone that your death would cause them happiness.
Bullying is something that I put up with in grade school... a little in middle school... so much Freshman year of high school that I transfered schools (and in hindsight my mother says that we should have sued the pants off their "rich asses" because of it). Most often times (note the high school bullying) I was not backed up by the teacher.
They thought of me as tattling. "Mrs. Long, Tommy called me fat again and pulled my chair out from under me." She would sigh heavily and tell me to go sit down. Eventually, I found myself a burden. (Something that I have issues with in other forms, as well...)
The teachers said that there was nothing that they could do. "Just ignore it," they would say and continue teaching. Eventually I shut down and while I was ignoring it, I was also ignoring class.
I *WISH* that my teachers would have done something about the bullies in my school. I would have rather been sent to another class or teacher than to have to deal with that. I would have rather the bullies been sent to the principal and have disciplinary action taken on them EACH time they bullied me or someone else. That's the only way to correct it. (Oh, and for parents to RAISE THEIR CHILDREN CORRECTLY!!!!)
The sad thing is, now we have this wonderful tool called "The Internet" to hide behind where we can bully people behind a magic shield from the comfort of our living room or queen sized bed.
The terrible part about this is I grew up in a world where as soon as I got out of
The mass majority of these people that cyber bully would never (ever, ever, ever) say something to the face of the person they are bullying.
What's the point?
Why waste your time and your online figurative "breath" to bash, diss, bully, hate on ANYONE? What's the point? It doesn't make you look big and bad. It makes you look scared, threatened and jealous.
They say that the best revenge is success.
I've always taken this to heart and I've never thrown down and fought; I've never had any sort of yelling altercation (verbal or email written); I am more of a person to just pretend that you never happened to my life and walk away. Cut my losses, collect my remaining chips and just leave the table. It's my goal to remain somewhat graceful in everything. When you lose your dignity, others will lose their respect for you.
4 comments:
Isn't it strange that we seem to remember the bad things/comments in life, no matter how big or small. Someone that I "used to know" made a comment directed at me one time that probably seemed like absolutely no big deal whatsoever to him (or anyone else that heard it). We were with a group, in a public place, just all engaging in normal conversation. It completely devastated me, and I STILL think about it to this day. One sentence out of his mouth is the only thing I ever truly remember him saying like I am right there all over again. Surely he must have said nice complimentary things from time to time...but I will never remember those!
There are plenty of people out there that live to make others miserable so they feel better about themselves...and then some that have no idea what a truly rotten person they are. Either way, it's a shame, because they will likely never change and they will never know the impact their words have on someone. UNLESS...they eventually get what they give by someone more awful than they are. And there is ALWAYS someone more awful.
I am a firm believer in karma - but I would never wish that on anyone.
I don't understand how making someone feel like shit makes another person feel "good" about themselves - that doesn't make sense to me whatsoever. Whenever I hurt someone's feelings, even unintentionally (sometimes my mouth doesn't connect with my brain), I think about it and harp on it for days and sometimes weeks... I often apologize far too much...
I just cannot fathom hurting another human like that.
I couldn't agree more about hurting others...unfortunately though, people are just not raised with the mindset of "do unto others" any longer (for the most part). And the ones that are raised that way, but STILL are oblivious to the emotional ramifications that their words have on others...have something wrong with them. And by that I mean something mentally/emotionally wrong, that may or may not be able to be corrected.
I wouldn't wish physical or emotional harm on anyone else either (I didn't want you to think that's what I meant)...but sometimes their own actions put them directly in the path of people just like them.
One of the best things about growing older is that you realize you have a choice about what you do with those memories and emotions. They will always hurt on some level, but you can chose to learn from them and take that lesson into your heart in an effort to make yourself a stronger and better person, to love more deeply, laugh more completely, respect more easily, celebrate even the smallest achievement, and always strive for kindness. It also means that we can decide to speak out against bullying in any of its forms, refuse to tolerate in silence the injustices that we see in this world, and put our beliefs into actions (however small the action might be). The words "please", "thank you", "I love you", "I'm sorry", and "excuse me, but that is not acceptable behavior" are used to infrequently in the world today. We have to teach our children the lessons that will make this a better world. Accountability for one's actions is a hard thing to enforce, but we have to start somewhere.
In the mean-time, encouraging the success and kindness of others seems like a good contribution to me. With that, I'd like to say "keep up the good effort". Your art and passion is inspiring to others. Never forget that.
Catherine Wilson, Dallas, Texas (mostly quiet admirer of Jodie Platz)
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