It's funny how your life is broken down between friendships and relationships; houses and jobs; etc... those are the things that you can remember.
I remember far too much... and then again, I can't remember anything at all.
I came across a piece of hate mail directed to me and written in 2008. Probably before anyone who will read this knew me. I was on Google searching trying to find someone I once knew and I was linked back to my own blog and slapped in the face with this slew of comments talking how if I was - and I quote - "run over by a bus and killed that [this person] would be the happiest girl on the planet", how I will "never become anything" and how I was a "stupid bitch ruining everyone's life and just a waste of space on this earth".
Reading back those hurtful and hateful comments made me feel so unwanted all over again. It didn't matter what it was about... it hurt to read it again. It didn't matter who said it, when or what it was regarding... it hurt.
I realize it now as cyber bullying. This person basically encouraged me to kill myself numerous times. Imagine that -- imagine being so hated by someone that your death would cause them happiness.
Bullying is something that I put up with in grade school... a little in middle school... so much Freshman year of high school that I transfered schools (and in hindsight my mother says that we should have sued the pants off their "rich asses" because of it). Most often times (note the high school bullying) I was not backed up by the teacher.
They thought of me as tattling. "Mrs. Long, Tommy called me fat again and pulled my chair out from under me." She would sigh heavily and tell me to go sit down. Eventually, I found myself a burden. (Something that I have issues with in other forms, as well...)
The teachers said that there was nothing that they could do. "Just ignore it," they would say and continue teaching. Eventually I shut down and while I was ignoring it, I was also ignoring class.
I *WISH* that my teachers would have done something about the bullies in my school. I would have rather been sent to another class or teacher than to have to deal with that. I would have rather the bullies been sent to the principal and have disciplinary action taken on them EACH time they bullied me or someone else. That's the only way to correct it. (Oh, and for parents to RAISE THEIR CHILDREN CORRECTLY!!!!)
The sad thing is, now we have this wonderful tool called "The Internet" to hide behind where we can bully people behind a magic shield from the comfort of our living room or queen sized bed.
The terrible part about this is I grew up in a world where as soon as I got out of
The mass majority of these people that cyber bully would never (ever, ever, ever) say something to the face of the person they are bullying.
What's the point?
Why waste your time and your online figurative "breath" to bash, diss, bully, hate on ANYONE? What's the point? It doesn't make you look big and bad. It makes you look scared, threatened and jealous.
They say that the best revenge is success.
I've always taken this to heart and I've never thrown down and fought; I've never had any sort of yelling altercation (verbal or email written); I am more of a person to just pretend that you never happened to my life and walk away. Cut my losses, collect my remaining chips and just leave the table. It's my goal to remain somewhat graceful in everything. When you lose your dignity, others will lose their respect for you.
