I Understand.

I used to think (and tell myself) that if I was skinny/rich/beautiful/successful that I would be wanted and that a man would come to my side and want to be my boyfriend.

I am fine and happy and proud to say that I WAS WRONG.

While I have written out numerous reasons for why I am alone and forever will be, I can tell you that nearly none of them have anything to do with the fact that I am not skinny/rich/beautiful/successful.

Being skinny/rich/beautiful/successful does not make you wanted. It gives you a validation for why people would want you... and really, if they just want you because you are skinny/rich/beautiful/successful, why would you want to be with them anyhow? You wouldn't. (Well, I wouldn't. I won't speak for you.)

Recently a few friends of mine have asked me, "have you seen [insert TV show here]?" I reply a flat, "No." "WHAT?!! Why not?! It's amazing." That's fantastic. I'm glad that you have time to watch fantastic TV. I watch reruns of Ugly Betty before I go to bed while I'm still sending out emails. I do not have time to watch television and most days I don't have time to even "check" Reddit.

If I can't find just a few minutes to myself to watch the newest episodes of Hell's Kitchen or to go look at cats and trees on Reddit, why should I subject myself to a relationship? I barely have time to take a bath without being rushed, to return all the emails that I need to return or to work on my friendships that I have... so why would I ever want to start dating?

I see what my friends in relationships go through. God bless them for having the strength to do so, but fuck. I like my alone time. To me, it seems like they're never alone.

People keep trying to tell me that I will grow out of this. They try to tell me that I will meet that "special" someone and everything will fall away and nothing else will matter on the earth.

They're full of shit.

I will always be selfish. I will always have my abandonment issues. I will always want to travel and wander and surround myself with the boys in the band.

The only thing that I might miss? I like to kiss. Sometimes it wouldn't be so bad to have someone to kiss. I just don't want to have to deal with all the emotional baggage that comes with anything more than that.

All of this is trivial and pointless. In the end, none of it will matter anyhow.

I am fine and perfectly content with being eternally lonely.

Consider it a life choice. A choice to be alone in a world full a people who are together.