Premonitions.

A lot of times we aren't allowed into the inner cogs of changes that our life will take... most times we don't know that our life is taking a turn, growing or changing until it's already happened and we're halfway through the process.

A few examples:

I didn't quite grasp that I was dropping out of high school and that it would forever affect me until the minute that I was walking out of the door. (Of course, it actually helped me greater than graduating high school ever would have... though it was still a huge change.)

When I was 17 years old, I didn't realize that I was in a car wreck until I was on the stretcher and being put into the back of an ambulance.

And I didn't realize that I was an actual professional photographer until I started hearing it out of my peers and my [photographer] mother's mouths.

Then, there are some times when you're given ample time to prepare and accept a life change.

A few examples:

When your uncle is given 6 months left to live through his cancer treatment.

When you choose the person that you're going to marry or break up with.

...There are so many possibilites to all of that and in certain and lucky times of our life, we are able to predict our own futures.

I am currently in a situation resembling that. I can see the huge and pivotal events just notching their way into my future. Like speed bumps in my timeline marking something adrenaline rushing and endorphine inducing.

Of course... things can change... and you'll never know the true outcome of anything until it's the end of the story. We're not quite there yet and so I can't say for sure if this will be everything that I ever wanted it to be. I've always said, "be careful what you wish for..." I've got it permanently etched into my skin as a reminding proof that if I put out into the universe what I want, it could come to fruition.

Who knows if my wishes will have a positive or negative outcome in the end?

There have been so many things I thought wonderful that I wished for and in the end I started to feel as if I may have bitten off more than I could chew.

One day, I'll talk to you about that... but today is not the day.

The funny part about where I am right now is that I can see just what is happening and the things that are changing, but no one else is privy to them yet. I don't believe that one of us has quite grasped any of what is going on...

So... I sit.

I sit here and I sit in silence... I wait.

For, I will not be the first to speak, and I will not be the last to think so.

Is knowing better? Is knowledge power? Or is ignorance bliss? Are you happier now that you know, or are you lost now that you have nothing else to wonder and question about?