I have only child syndrome. I'm not great at sharing. I was never considered "spoiled" as a kid (we didn't grow up with tons of money, but I didn't go without...) but I had more than my fair share of toys and belongings. I get bored easily and I'm quite bossy at times.
There's a lot of things that I wish I could have had growing up. Most of them are not material. The only toy that I can think of that I wanted so badly but I never got was one of those Barbie 4x4 cars that you actually drive. I wished for one for so many years... I wished on stars, I wished on birthday candles... nothing. It never came. I'm probably better off with the bike that my parents bought me. I was a thin and active child and for that, I am grateful.
I quit dance and now I can't remember why. I actually quit dance twice... I quit acting. I quit band. I quit calling my parents. I quit high school. I quit my singing career. I quit my boyfriends. I quit my jobs.
Now, it's not that I'm the girl that quits as soon as things get hard - quite the opposite in fact. I'm the girl that quits when I've had "enough" or when I'm bored. I work very hard to get the things that I want... unfortunately I just don't have the attention span to reap the benefits for said hard work.
Now, to go back up there... my singing career? I was manipulated into quitting that. Here's a horrible place to tell you that I am easily influenced. But, at least now I *realize* that.
So, now there's so many people (most of them strangers) trying to get me to quit things... (*shifty eyes*) and I realize that I am easily influenced. I realize that they all have valid key points... but... we're missing the most important key point! The keyest of all points... the creme de le point!
IT MAKES ME HAPPY.
Why do so many people take an interest in my life? I'll never know. I actually don't care to know. I don't mind that people take an interest in my life... it makes me feel wanted and needed. Even if I just provide laughter (as they're laughing at me...) or quips... even if I just give them something to talk about and gossip about with their friends... or if they actually like me and they're genuinely interested in what I say... if I inspire someone to pick up a camera and take a photo or if I help them in their personal life by them relating to something that I've said --- I like it.
I don't understand it. It's weird and entirely new ground and I don't mind it. How's that for a confession? But, I've had a great friend able to help me through the process of this... They've offered many words of wisdom. (Most of them humorous.)
So, while I am still happy doing what I do - I will continue to do it. Others may (hell, probably will) try to convince me to stop doing what makes me happy - but those people clearly don't know me. (*See yesterday's blog entry...)
Another thing about me... I have ADD. That's a reason why I have quit so many things... I get bored. Burnt out. Tired. Over it... and, that always happens sooner or later. So... if you're one of the people trying to get me to quit something - just have a little patience, will ya?
2 comments:
Kudos to you for putting this all out there. But, maybe it has helped, even just a little. To see in front of you what you are all about.
And anyone who discourages you from doing stuff that makes you happy can take a flying leap. No, not all that we do that makes us happy is right or logical or moral *tehehehe* but we are all in this life as individuals trying to survive the world as it is and it ain't easy so anything to get us through helps.
I really related to this one GREATLY. It's not easy to put yourself out there like you did in this one. Good for you!
As for people trying to get you to give up? Strap on that give 'em hell attitude and keep going! (and haha, it'll just piss em off, lol! Win! and for them, FAIL.) Someday, when your famous for your work (or however far you want it to get), you'll think of these peeps and can smile smugly and say to yourself, "haha, I win!"
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