Speaking Your Mind

Quick rant... I am in the middle of watching a documentary, so this isn't going to be a full-fledged blog -- just something I need to get off my chest.

Just posted a mini-rant on Twitter -- you probably saw them... something along the lines of "I can't speak out of turn... I am a robot..." etc...

It came about because yesterday I posted a Facebook status that read, "I am moving. I don't know where... I don't know when... but fuck this place. I am getting out of here."

This morning I received a response from someone that Jennifer used to work with who added me as a friend... "WOW! Is it really that serious? Some people wish they had something and you are complaining about..."

I replied with, "I don't think you know half of the situation. It's quite unfair to place judgement on people complaining about their lives when you don't know what goes on in their lives each day."

She responded: "Well that is the point of me asking not judging! So please if you got it that twitsted IT WAS A F***N JOKE! WOW! Who would have thought that you would catch an attitude with me. Never again that's for sure!"

I replied, "I think you're taking all of this... the status... my reply... all of it, quite too seriously."

This has been an ongoing issue I have dealt with for years with people.

Most people would collectively agree that Sagittarius is the most outspoken, blunt and opinionated sign is the astrological chart. While I do have an opinion on everything -- I am NOT outspoken or blunt. Quite the opposite, really. I was raised with impeccable manners and I very rarely speak out of turn.

So while I am usually quite well behaved (unless you try to rape a primates car... then I will peel you off of it and yell at you. Situations. Conditions.) I do have moments where there is just some shit you shouldn't say to me... I have moments where I voice my opinion.

I have, on rare occasion, let my unfiltered opinion slip and the repercussions were irrevocable. This is why I usually keep those opinions to myself. Get me drunk or know me for a long, long while... you'll be "privileged" enough.

Now. I don't believe what I first said back to this girl was that harsh -- I merely said that if you don't know the situation firsthand, you shouldn't make judgements. I think that was polite. I was reminding her of her manners.

Because really, she doesn't understand or know just how bad it is here. How bad my living situation is. The massive anxiety attacks I have at times just walking to my car. So, you keep your mouth shut when you don't know what you're talking about. Yes?

Lessons we have learned today: Not all Sagittarius' are the same. Don't say stupid shit to me. Mind your manners.

You Can Tell Me I Look Lonely...

...And I'll say you look the same... 

Life changes so incredibly quickly for me. One day I am sitting here thinking about how fucking hot it is in my apartment... how I can make a legit profit off of my photos... how much I hate where I am living... how much I miss my road friends...

...The next minute I have plans to go to Lawrence on Thursday to pick up an AC from my Daddy and now I do believe I have plans to move... to... Wisconsin...

The reason for this blog, however, is to say how much I truly appreciate the fact that I have met so many amazing... fantastic people because of this tiny little band that I love.

I wrote out this insanely long blog... and then I realized just how much I need to censor myself now... which, sucks... So... take the time to think about how small things make big waves in your life. If y'all leave some comments of how small things have changed your life in big ways, I maaay finish typing out my blog with what I was going to say...

xx

This Life... It Is A-Changing

The ADD is really killing me today. I came here to get online and get some work on my official site done... of course that didn't happen. I did manage to write, what I think, is a pretty rocking blog -- you can find that entry below this one if you haven't already checked it out.

Someone @'d me on Twitter and said that they got sucked into reading my blog, so I decided I would skim back a little bit and see what all I had written... I used to update for nogoddamnreason, but now it seems like I only update when I have seen the boys. This blog was never intended to just be about the boys... hell, I started this blog long, long ago.

So I was reading back a bit and then I clicked on my archive... I saw my Duct Tape post & giggled my ass off, remembering things that I had long since forgotten, that being from January and only my 4th 100 Monkeys show. (I am now at 26...)

It was pretty adorable to read about giving him duct tape for the first time (when now it's a staple & *expected*) and to read about him using my lighter as a slide for the first time... when now... oh god... well, I still love, adore and appreciate every time that he uses my lighter as a slide (if I am there to see it, or not...) but to read about my reaction to the FIRST time? Pretty sweet. :)

I then decided to click back to November and read about the first time meeting Jackson.

Crazy.

So crazy.

I can't believe how much my writing has changed. If I were to re-write that blog today, I wouldn't have put HALF of those details in there... and also, you can tell I was being respectful (& sogoddamnnew) because I kept calling him "Jackson Rathbone", "Jackson Rathbone". That. Is. Crazy. I don't even call him Jackson now! He never answers me when I call him Jackson! (Learned that one the hard way back in Tulsa...) I suppose there are some times when his name just *NEEDS* two syllables... Jack-son! (That's more of a scolding, if you ask me...) but no, no, no, no... he is J a y.

Alright, time to zip my lips on the comparisons... Oh... one more thing, though... I still talk about Jerad the same. :D

From the 4th show, Tulsa. January.

From the 26th show, San Francisco. July.

Both blue... hah. Awesome.

I just got very nostalgic right now. Great. Now I miss him... *grumbles and walks away* ...just what I needed...

xx

Jodie

Pain Is A Curious Notion

"LA lights, they don't shine quite as bright as back in Frisco... still wanna go?" 




One theory on pain is that there is only a set amount of it that you will feel in one lifetime. Once you have felt all that you were meant to feel... well, I guess then you don't feel any more pain. (Whatever that means.)

Everyone has a different threshold, feel, description & tolerance for pain. Doctors ask you to describe your pain on a scale of 1-10. But this cannot be accurate; someone's "7" is another persons "4".

This is one reason why I dislike when people ask me if any of my six tattoos hurt. I, personally, adore the feel of a tattoo needle against my skin. However, I cringe and bawl like a baby when I have to get blood drawn. (Nurses cannot understand this.) It's a different kind of "pain".

Perhaps it's intention there. I am willfully putting art onto my body, so the vibration, the needle... all of it... is so very enjoyable to me. But when I am getting blood drawn, that's pretty much against my free will there. Another analogy I can use for it is cutting - I don't feel pain when I intentionally cut my skin, but when I accidentally slice my hand while trying to make a bagel in the morning I curse and jump up and down...

The mind controls pain like it does emotions.

Steven and Laura had been in love for four years. They had the windows down and the car stereo as loud as it would go as they drove his red Pontiac around town. Steven was holding Laura's hand as he turned the corner and a Ford F150 ran a red light and T-boned the car on the passengers side.

When Steven came to he was covered in blood, hands shaking, smoke and dust everywhere from the airbags... but he didn't feel any pain. Not until he looked over and saw that Laura had been killed instantly.

When your body feels an immense amount of pain, it ups your adrenaline & makes it nearly impossible to feel anything. Shock.

However, what can your body to in order to keep your *heart* from feeling pain...? It cannot up your adrenaline to stop you from feeling heartache. I would gladly take the pain of broken bones and ruptured spleens over the crushing weight of some other emotions my body has felt.

I am not merely talking about losing someone that you love or care about...

Love hurts. It's true. (And a damn good song, might I add.) Have you ever watched the one you love walk away with someone else? There is no amount of adrenaline (or Xanax. Or whiskey.) that can make that pain go away. (Or that visual reminder...) What about unrequited love? What does the body do to make that pain disappear?

You know, I used to not really believe in love... not the way that others do. But now I believe if you don't really believe in love - love just hasn't found you yet... but pain? That will always find you.

On The Mend

I got back from my week with 100 Monkeys a few days ago and it occurred to me that I still never blogged about Birmingham, Memphis or Dallas... well... those are now lost...

I retract that.

Here.

Birmingham: Best 100 Monkeys show I ever saw. It's not a surprise to me that so many of the songs off their new live album were from the Birmingham show. AL was good to me. :)

Memphis: Baaaad. Boys were off. Played a short set. I was drunk. I got called a "Drunk Ass" by my BFF; I retaliated with "Fucker." That was the last 100 Monkeys show I will ever drink at... well, I've been known to break promises like that before, but I definitely will stick to ONE or TWO beers... not drinking all day and then buying PBR on special. Bad idea.

Dallas: I can't even go there. It was awesome. I barely took any photos because I just ENJOYED myself.

Alright... so I went out for a week with the boys again for their West Coast summer tour. I was on the road for 2 weeks, but only with them for one...

Hermosa Beach: Streamed live again... I didn't drink half a bottle of Jack Daniel's before attending this show like I did the last time I saw them at St. Rocke in February. Pretty badass show. Was the first show I shot with my new camera so I was frustrated with the new learning curve and I noticed that I sing less now that I take my DSLR out... so, I think I am taking less photos... but they're better quality... so the ones I do take are pretty awesome... Ben & Jay used my mini tambourine on stage, which rocked. :) I love tambourines. Jay chucked it across the back wall during Wandering Mind, though and I could not stop laughing. Jenn said, "why are you laughing?" She did NOT find it amusing that he threw it... she was pretty pissed at him. Luckily Scott went and fetched it for me. He's a good man.

Arizona: It was fucking HOT. The show was incredible and definitely the LOUDEST and most fangirly that I have ever been to. The boys did a good job though. Loved the photos that I got from this show. Probably my favorite of the week. They did my improv suggestion for, "There's A Camera In My Face". Loved it. My second favorite improv after the one I suggested in Birmingham: "I Hacked Into Your Email".

Vegas: I was with the boys last time they were in Vegas in January... as you probably remember... or you can go look in my archives & read all about that catastrophe. This show was a little awkward, I think. The improv & Wandering Mind sounded INSANE. Scott is seriously a genius. I love that man.

San Diego: This was my 25th 100 Monkeys show... and I did all that in less than a year. This month I will celebrate my 1 year 100 Monkeys anniversary while out at Callahan's. Back to where I started. :) I stayed in the back to talk/meet my friend Ali for the first half of their set. It was amazing to just hang out and enjoy their music & not worry about getting "The Shot" ++ seeing Ali was the highlight of this entire adventure. I love her so much it was great to finally talk to her IN PERSON! For the boys' encore we managed to get up to the 3rd row and I got some pretty great shots, actually. It's insane what you can acquire when you don't try whatsoever.

San Francisco: San Diego was supposed to be the last show... but how can you say no to Monkeys? I dare you to try. We got talked into coming to San Francisco and I am so happy. It was my favorite show of the week and I got some amazing photos. It was great to finally see a show at the Great American Music Hall; their lighting was INTENSE! I loved it. Great shots. Already said that...

The time I spend with the boys gets more and more guarded. I am definitely guarding myself more and becoming more and more protective of the boys. (Had to be a tad overprotective in San Diego... INSANE fan tried to rape their car. I handled it.)

The goodbyes were difficult. They get harder and harder to let go of and I miss them more and more over less time now. This can't be good. :-/

A few pics from the week that I will share.

Hermosa Beach:

 My tambourine. :) 

Video... Orson Brawl... me soaking up high fives from my BFF in the beginning of the intro. :) And here you can see Wandering Mind and Jay chuck my tambourine across the room. AWESOME. 

Arizona: 

During my improv suggestion, "There's A Camera In My Face". 

I am most proud of this bow photo.

BFF & I take awesome photos. :) 

Las Vegas: 

San Diego: 

San Francisco: 

BFF and I had matching glow bracelets. :) 

You can check out all my other photos from shows on my Facebook page here. 

Thanks for taking the time to read this... comments = hugs. 

xx

Jodie Platz