"Feeling better now that we're through,
Feeling better cuz I'm over you,
I learned my lesson; it left a scar,
Now I see how you really are..."
I suppose there'a been a lot of changes happening to me lately... some I am not ready to admit... some I can't hold inside for a moment longer.
When you're six and you've got your favorite long sleeved winter shirt... you love it... you want to live in it... you never want to wash it and you want to wear it to school every day... when you're seven you go back to that shirt that you loved so much the previous year -- you still love it just as much -- you're super excited to put it on and this year it doesn't quite fit the same as it did last year. Though it's a little small and a tad uncomfortable - you're not ready to give it up yet... so you wear it. Another year passes and you're eight now... the shirt no longer fits and though it's hard and it hurts - you give it up.
I'm seven right now. I know what's coming... but for right now, I'd like to wear my slightly-uncomfortable shirt and pretend like it still fits.
I feel like I'm starting to outgrow a lot of things in my life. It's painful to watch.
I also feel like a lot of things are starting to outgrow *me*.
Yesterday I cleaned the bathroom - I maaay have used too much bleach. I got a swimming headache afterwards, but that wasn't the strangest thing... What was really weird is that I got insanely hyper. More so than I had been since I was a teenager. I couldn't calm down at all. It was a little strange. I didn't know what to do with all of my energy. Crazy.
I'm insanely bored.
...
I think I'm getting excited for the Monkey tour. I think. 19 days or something like that until I go to see them. I am completely unprepared. I have nothing planned and no tickets bought... I don't know what I'm going to wear or who I'm seeing where. I do have a couple photoshoots planned, so that makes me happy-time... but other than that, nothing is really settled... though... I am really looking forward to going back to Kansas City for the show there!!
Insane how excited I am for that. :) Very excited. I haven't seen KC or my people there since September when I left... I am forcing my mama to come to the show with me... it looks like it may be my only time with her while I'm there...
Also excited for the California leg of the tour... but that's something I'll talk about later and closer to all of this...
Bored.
Bored.
I'm a bore.
1 comment:
Your analogy was spot on for when we outgrow things in our lives. I remember the feeling well (from when I was 7 AND just a few years ago)! The latter was both some kind of painful recognition and a feeling of being free, all at the same time. I remember the exact moment, and was lucky enough that someone snuck up and caught my picture as I was pondering it all. It's a poorly taken picture, but it will always be my favorite. The decisions I made were a blessing and a curse I believe. Unfortunately we can't continue to grow up without moments like that!
I hope that things work out for you. See you on tour (in a few places at least)!
P.S. I'm insanely bored on a daily basis. It's maddening.
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