Whalebone

"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope..." 

Yes, yes, yes! New 100 Monkeys tour dates! :) www.100MonkeysMusic.com to check them out.

Fuck yes.

So... after such excitement this morning, Jennifer and I were talking and discussing and we found out something pretty interesting about ourselves that I never thought about before.

Jennifer and I have never been to Florida or California together.
When Jennifer went to California she didn't see the ocean.
When I went to Florida I didn't see the ocean.
Therefore, Jennifer has only seen the ocean from Florida and I have only seen the ocean from California.

Fucking interesting and awesomely backwards ironic, eh? :) Made me happy.

Of course that will change...

You know... another funny thing... back in February when I went to LA to the Hermosa Beach show with Willow, I know that we were fuckclose to the ocean - I could *feel* it and *smell* the difference in the air, yet we didn't see the ocean when we were there together.

So much to see... so much to do... plans. are. set.

You know... today makes 48 days since I've seen the boys. All I needed was a date to look forward to... a time to know WHEN I would see them again. I am glad that I have new dates to look forward to.

Annnnnnd... I am so fucking READY to put my new camera to use! Should be good. :) Good, good times.

Picture of the Day:

Someone @'d that at me a while ago. :) Made me so fucking happy... they said it reminded them of me. There are worse things in life than that reminding someone of me.

*happy*

xx

New Tricks

"Maybe I should have saved those leftover dreams, 
Funny but here's that rainy day..." 

I guess it's been a while since I've blogged... and I know I *still* haven't done my Birmingham or Memphis blog; I guess that one day it will just be like a surprise for you. Someday you'll wake up and it'll be here...

I'm at the beginning of a headache. I can't tell if it's going to be a migraine yet or not...

I pulled out a good chunk of my eyelashes today. I really have a problem with that... :-/

Jennifer and I finally got the second season of Grey's Anatomy on DVD. :) That made me happy. Only took me 2 days to watch it all. Now, of course, I am ready for the third season...

Funny thing, actually...

We walked into FYE to go buy Grey's and right inside the door is the Twilight merchandise. I did a once over and they were having a sale (50% off Twilight merchandise, so I was going to look for the Jasper doll.) The employee said, "Can I help you find anything?" I said "Jasper" and that turned into a hugeeeee conversation/debate about the books and movies and the "neglected" characters.

She talked our fucking ears off! Rambling on and on and on about all sorts of Twilight related things. I was polite and listened, though I wanted to just say, "Yeaaaaaah... I'm not *THAT* into Twilight, just kinda wanted the Jasper doll so I could like, make it dance and put it in my van..." I listened to the TwiHard for a bit and then her customers got impatient. She was definitely the most interesting person that I met that day, however. (And she was an Emmett girl.)

It's hard for me to fall asleep. The night time is the hardest, which... I don't understand, but it is. I lay in bed last night - lights off, TV off, mind ON. Just as I would start to fall asleep I would sit straight up and gasp for air. I clench my fists, I clench my jaw... I don't know what to call this. I also don't know how to make it stop.

I got some Worry Dolls the other day we were out; they haven't helped.

I feel like I'm a disappointment to everyone I meet. I haven't made my parents proud, I haven't made my "fans" proud, I haven't made my friends proud. I can't even edit and keep up with my sites. I don't know what to do. The ADD is getting worse; the anxiety is getting worse. The addictions are getting worse. The only thing I'm getting better at is hiding it and lying about it.

Picture of the Day:

Happy Birthday, Jerad! @100MonkeysMusic

Here on your very own day I have a few things that I would like for you to hear/see.

First of all...

Happy Birthday, Jerad!!!!

Ahh, j.radness… We have shared so many memories that I hold close to me over the last 6 months, specifically.  Hopefully upon reviewing some of these memories in your mind, you smile.

Your smile is one of my favorite things about you; When people comment on my photos of you and say “He has an amazing smile!” I always say, “It’s the reason the polar ice caps are melting.”

You know, mister… you make my “job” pretty freaking easy (and really freaking fun…) – you are exceptionally photogenic and in the photos that I take of you I see so much happy.

You know that I love your kick-ass guitar solos, you know that I love your jokes & your high fives – but it’s not the high fives or the kick-ass guitar solos that drew me to you and made me name you my BFF. Sure, you exude awesome & have been nice to me since day one – but nice can only get you so far. (And the same goes for your charm and good looks.)

Your heart.

Along with the happy I see in my photos – I see your heart. Your giant love for playing and performing. Your immense love for the men who share the stage with you – there are some times when I have taken photos of you looking at the other boys with such love that I had to keep that photo just for myself. It felt like I had taken a private conversation between you and them and that’s something I could never share with others.

So, speaking of photos – here are my 5 favorite photos of you – of course, taken by me.

Before I wrap this up there is one more thing that I wanted to say – it has bugged me immensely for the last 41 days that in Dallas I didn’t get to say goodbye to you. I’ve felt terrible about it and upon reflection I realized that I didn’t even get to speak with you the entire time I was in Texas!

(41. Now THIS is what we should call TOO LONG. 26 is looking like gold compared to 41.)

Happy birthday, Jerad… I’m sure most people are going to offer you birthday hugs today – you know what I’ll offer you: HIGH FIVE!

Jodie

PS – my dog misses you.

...




...




...you knew I couldn't make it through this post without saying it -- I miss you. 

:)