There's without a doubt more men than women in the entertainment and touring industry. Here's my perspective on the pros and cons to being the only girl touring with an all male rock band. (Trust me, it's heavy on the pros.)
[It's not generic; it's pretty specific to my experience traveling with this band.]
Pros
-I can be what they need me to be when they need me to be it.
I don't know if this has anything to do with my sex or if it's just who I am by nature. I've always been a different person to everyone else and that definitely doesn't stop when I'm with the band. Each member gets a different side of me. I won't give away what I do that's "special" for each of the boys, but I definitely treat them all differently. I believe that you have to - if you treat everyone the same you're never going to make anyone happy. I tailor myself to each person, because each person is different.
-I am a sister, a confidant, a friend, a bitch, the weatherman, I coddle when I need to, I am firm when necessary, I'm a drinking buddy, I'm a bad influence, I'm the voice of reason, I am logic, etc. ;)
-music everywhere all the time
Do you know how much musicians love music? I know that sounds like a redundant question, but there are times when I get serenaded with brand new songs that don't have names yet, or interrupted because Fergie just came on the radio and it's sing-along time. Late night jam sessions with the people we are staying with is my favorite, though. :)
-when we make a pit stop I get to go to the bathroom alone
This is amazing. I cannot tell you how happy I am to be a woman at that time. When you're stuck with people 24/7 it's nice to be able to pee in private. (I guess the boys aren't so lucky on this one... tough shit.)
-they're loyal as fuck.
In simple terms: they are smart and good people. Loyal to those that they love.
-they take care of me when I party hard
I know that they've all got my back (as I, of course, have theirs) and that any one of them would hold my head, my hand or hold me up if I needed them to. (And they have.)
-they care about me
When I have a bad day they ask me what's wrong and let me talk it out with them. They were there for me to talk to them when 100 Monkeys broke up. When they meet the people from my life they talk to them and show interest in them... they put up with me when I reference my experiences with 100 Monkeys (which is, unfortunately, more than I should -- but it's where I got the most experience from... so hey, whatcha gonna do?!!)
-snuggles
I made a big mistake on the last tour when the band found out that I can't stay mad at any of them if they hug me. Big mistake. But... I must say that getting hugs on the regular is one of the best parts of my job. I thoroughly enjoy my after-show snuggles from each boy. Plus when I'm sad (or mad) there's nothing better in the world than hugging someone you care about.
Cons
-boys are loud.
I can't sleep unless it's very quiet, so needless to say I rarely sleep in the van. (Hence why I got 8h of sleep total this past weekend when we had 2 shows.) I'm not upset; just like it's my priority to make them eat food before I do - they need more sleep than I do. Their jobs are harder and more draining than mine is. It's my job to take care of them.
-I don't sleep a lot.
This doesn't really have much to do with the boy/girl factor as much as it does about touring in general. Of course there's rarely time to sleep when you're on the road, but then the time that we do have to sleep is usually with people who are strangers to me. I have a really weird hyper sense of manners (which I've written about previously) and it takes me a very long time to feel comfortable in someone else's home. [I have only ever found 2 exceptions to the rule.] So, I often feel extremely strange. Luckily, I am very comfortable with my boys, so that often helps me slightly. I assume this will get easier over time.
-boys are gross and do boy things and say boy things.
I know they censor themselves in front of me (as they flat out told me), but while I may be treated like "one of the boys", I will never act like one of the boys.
-it's hard to do girl things.
I can't change clothes in the car, which, on previous tours, was where I did most of that. I got a playful teasing when I purchased tampons at a gas station. I have plucked my eyebrows in the van and they've seen me with no makeup, slept-in-day-old-hungover makeup and seen me put on my makeup (as I gave them shit and threats about hitting bumps as I'm putting on eyeliner); trust me I definitely have no illusions left.
-my emotions
I'm an emotional person. I see Hallmark commercials and I cry. I see a cute puppy and I have to point it out. Yes, I'm a total girl 100% of the time. I like pink, rainbows, glitter and Lady Gaga. ...these are the things that I [try to] keep to myself when I'm with the band. (Except I still point out all the puppies.)
My boys are absolutely amazing. Not only are they more talented than I can express with words (I only have faces and noises for that sort of explanation), but they are genuinely great people. They're kind, thoughtful, cleaner than I imagined, less smelly than other bands (*cough*), and a whole bunch of other sweet things that I won't say about them for fear of making their heads swell.
Pros and cons aside, I'm fucking lucky as fuck to be able to travel with such a great group of guys. They make the work feel less like work and more like awesome.
