you think you wanna give the world your best shot
don't come to New York,
it makes you poor, it kills your soul,
go to a small town, hold your ground..."
Spencer Bell was right there... hold your ground.
This week I moved from the big city of Kansas City to the tiny, itsy bitsy town of Dawson Springs, Kentucky.
For contrast; Kansas City is the largest city in Missouri with a population of 475,830. Dawson Springs? 2,980.
Where?! I have seen like, four people since I got here!
Another contrast will tell you that the small town that I grew up in, Wamego, Kansas, has a population of 4,246... so... then there's that.
This place is tiny.
The point of this blog is because, if I am being honest here, I am in over my head and am trying to adjust to the culture shock.
While my new "home" is just 8 hours southeast of Kansas City, it's like another world. I was expressing this to my Mama on the phone yesterday and after all that I told her she gave me a few things to think about.
Whereas I have always thought that I have impeccable manners, apparently, my manners don't translate well here in the south. I was raised with the "proper" table manners and I am a stickler on using them. Please, thank you, no thank you, table on the lap, don't take the last of anything, don't chew with your mouth open, don't talk with your mouth full, don't take seconds before anyone else has, etc...
Along with those table manners comes; don't take something that isn't yours without asking.
When in someone's home (which, we stayed with Willow's parents until our place had electricity - for nearly a week) I have never been comfortable. When someone says, "make yourself at home," I find that just the polite thing to say -- that doesn't mean that I will ever just go to your fridge and grab a glass of water or some food. I just can't. So... I have offended many people since I have been in Kentucky because their idea of manners and my idea of manners don't match up.
This brings me to "polite/impolite", "respectful/disrespectful" as my Mama put it.
She made an excellent point. What I may see as polite, someone else is offended by. When I feel like I am being respectful, they're insulted.
Somehow, in those 8 hours from "home" -- everything changed. (I suppose that would be "this side" of the Mississippi... No?)
While I cannot fathom just walking into someone's kitchen and grabbing a drink (I won't even do that in Jennifer's parents house and I have almost known her/them 11 years...) when someone here says, "make yourself at home", they genuinely want you to feel at HOME. Thus, I have offended THEM because of my manners. I do not feel at home, so they feel as if they have failed.
Wow.
My Mama says that I need to change my views and try to fit in... however... when you have been the same way for 25... nearly 26 years... how on earth can you change? I will NEVER feel comfortable just walking into someone else's kitchen...
And... that brings me to...
If someone were in my new home and they got up from my couch and went to get themselves a drink from my fridge or something to eat -- I would be highly offended and I would feel like a terrible hostess... so then there's that!
Suggestions?
Jodie
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