You're One Of Us

"All that I need is the air that I breathe, 

And all that I need are things I don't need, 

And all that really matters is what matters to me..."



Lyrics of the day by Blind Melon and could not be more true. Think about that for a while. Put it in your juice box and suck it.

This is a blog that I've been meaning to write since the very beginning of the year... and since I do not have my cheat sheet piece of paper, I hope that I can remember it all.

I documented each place that I traveled in 2010 and was pretty astounded. I believe there was only one month out of the year that I didn't travel: May. And you know what? Fuck May.

January: Tulsa, Las Vegas.
February: LA.
March: Des Moines, STL, Louisville.
April: Nashville, Birmingham, Memphis, Little Rock, Dallas.
June: Seattle.
July: LA, Scottsdale, Las Vegas, San Diego, San Francisco.
August: Detroit.
October: Baton Rouge.
November: Baton Rouge (Several times.)
December: Baton Rouge, Atlanta, Birmingham, New Orleans, Houston, Dallas, Austin...

(And then of course at the beginning of my 2011 tally for cities traveled is Mission and San Antonio...)

Looks like I also didn't go anywhere in September, which makes sense because that's when I moved from Kansas City.

I definitely love to travel. I honestly wouldn't trade this life for anything in the whole wide world. No amount of money... no amount of bribery... there's honestly only one thing that will ever get me to stop and I will never say it out loud.

Picture of the day:

The Camera's Lying

"You can't turn back because this road is all you'll ever have..."




I refuse to count how many days it's been since tour ended. I don't think it would help me to know. Fortunately, I've been keeping myself very busy booking massive photoshoots (WIN!) and trying to get prints and proofs sent off to those who had photoshoots with me on tour, have ordered or won prints. Busy, busy.

It's only January and I'm already crunching about summer. That's all I can say about that.

Netflix did the worst possible thing to me: they uploaded ALL of Desperate Housewives on watch instantly. Bastards.

There's so much to do and not enough credit or cash to do it all. I assume this is a problem for most people in America. As you may (or may not) know, The Rockvan just did it's last tour. We must buy a new car (by car I mean something big enough to tour in...) before we hit the road with the boys again. Also, I need a new camera... also, I need to get my weight in check before touring again... also... also... also... the list will never end and can only grow. There's never going to be enough time, money or space to fit everything in. Plus, I'm not a very organized person.

So... then there's that.

I got my photo taken recently. I haven't modeled since 2007 and I forgot my biggest flaw about me being in front of the camera: I always forget to breathe.

I do think that part of what makes me a decent photographer is that I have worked as a model, therefore, I know what it's like to have that lens in your face snapping up your soul and all of your flaws. Now, I'll remember to tell my models to breathe.

I've been characteristically depressed for the past few days. I don't expect anyone to understand and I am not saying that no one out there understands. But, to each person I have told that I am depressed they answered back with the worst response ever; "why?"

Why?

Why?

Why? Because I have a chemical imbalance, that's why. Why? Because I left my heart in San Antonio. Why? Because I have three men in my life when all I want is the one. Why? Because that's more complicated than anyone will ever realize. Why? Because. I. Am.

Instead of asking me why... instead of assuming because I am successful that that should equal happiness... instead of judging me... how about if I open myself up to you, you simply say, "I am listening."

Photo of the Day:

Jay with Bella. ATL. December 26. He adores her. I adore that about him. :)

Another One Bites The Dust

"As we're driving out of Austin, I can still smell your perfume, 

I contemplate turning around every inch or two, 

My vision's kind of hazy, I don't look well at all, 

I don't believe I've ever felt so small, 

You come over to say hello in the brightest of the lights, 

I'm so impressed; you look your best, without an ounce of trying, 

I make light of a picture, and you're leaving with your friends 

And I've no doubt I'll never see you again, 

You may deceive me, but you made me try to make believe in

That there's something more we can't ignore but nothing we can do..."

Thank you so much to all of the incredible people that I met along the way this tour. It was by far the best one that I have been to yet. Unfortunately it passed all too fast and it kicked my ass harder than any of the other tours that I've been on.

We all started to get sick about half way through the tour and waking up the morning after New Years Eve was hard. However, for all the fun that I had on New Years Eve it was more than worth it. ;)

Here's a few photos from the week -- I am only edited up until NOLA...

ATLANTA:

 BIRMINGHAM:

NEW ORLEANS:

DALLAS:

AUSTIN:

Mission... I got some great photos from Mission... none of which are edited yet.

SAN ANTONIO:

I will post the rest of the photos once I've got them edited. ;)

At the end of the week -- if you look at the ATL meet and greet at the beginning of the week and the San Antonio meet and greet at the end of the week photo -- I lost 15lbs over the course of the tour.

I told my Mama all about the week and she says I need a new camera. I'm with what she says so now I'm camera shopping. :) I've got it narrowed down to three... of course, I don't think I can afford the one that I want -- the Canon 5D. *drools*

I am now taking donations for a new camera. Hah! *Kidding*

I am so thankful for everyone that I met along the road this tour. Thank you for supporting the boys, thank you for buying their concert tickets and tee shirts, thank you for screaming your asses off.

To the boys: I love each and every one of you. Thank you for all you've done for me. Your friendship, hugs, songs, lighter pops and blows, photos and high fives are so precious to me and I appreciate each one.

Until next time.

xx

Happy Birthday, Jay! @100MonkeysMusic

20 days later and you've finally caught up with me... (I actually think that it's really freaking cool that we were born literally 20 days from each other.)

There was something that I always wondered about other December babies: do people try to combine gifts for you between your birthday and Christmas? My mother was born ON Christmas and people do that for her, but I have always been very meticulous about giving her separate birthday presents and Christmas presents... and so you can expect the same thing from me when I see you next. ;)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JAY!

Here's to hoping that 26 can be as kick-ass as 25 was. Choose carefully what your wish is when you blow out your birthday candles because you remember what they say about wishes...

My birthday wish for you is that you spend today with people that you love, you are never short on whiskey or beer and that you can smile from being genuinely happy.

In honor of your day here's a few of my favorite photos that I've taken of you. (Cheesy, I know, but it's an excuse to post some photos... Hah!)

The last two have more sentimental value than they are great photographs... But, I can't help but adore them.

Happy birthday, Jay... I know that it'll be special. See you soon... in a mere five days.

Love,

Jodie

Again, Again... Tour Is Coming.

"You got a lot, a lot of nerve, 

Coming here, 

When I'm still with him

And I can't have you, 

It isn't fair..."

Nine days until tour starts... this will be the third full week that I've been on tour with the boys. I'm already dreading the goodbye. It's never pleasant... I guess I'll get to that when I get to that.

Moving on... I believe that I'm nearing my 33rd show when we get to Atlanta, which means that the last date of tour, San Antonio, will be my 40th show. Funny how things work out like that, isn't it?

I have a few photoshoots scheduled for the tour stops as well... which, I'm stoked for! I can't wait to change it up a bit with the Monkey photos. It'll be nice to shoot something other than them while on tour.

For those not in the know, on the Houston date Jennifer and I will officially be considering Houston our home. Dropping our things off at the new place we'll be staying at and then heading to the show... Finally... Finally I am moving to Texas.

And then there's New Years... I am half looking forward to it, half dreading it and wishing that it didn't exist... only for reasons I can't really talk about... the crap that's in my head... but one thing that will be a plus from the day is that it's me and Jennifer's 11th friendaversary. 11 years she will have put up with my bullshit. Can you believe it? Let's get drunk.

My Least Favorite Things About Tour, by Jodie Platz

-Fangirls and Twihards that are aggressive.
-People who are nice to your face who talk behind your back. (I like consistency.)
-Line jumpers.
-People who hold spots all day long for their ten friends.
-People who scream when the cars pull up... or for this tours case: bus.
-People who molest the band.
-People who scream "JASSSSSSPERRRRRR!!!"
-People who bang on their windows and force me to put myself between them and the band...
-When there's nowhere around the venue to pee.
-When there are four opening acts and they all suck.
-When I get lost and can't find the venue... Oh wait, Micky has a Tom Tom! Wheeee!!
-Being hungry but feeling so anxious I can't eat.
-Sweating my makeup off.
-People who try to get in front of me by using the line, "I'm a photographer..." *shifty eyes, deadpan*
-Saying goodbye.

My Most Favorite Things About Tour, by Jodie Platz

-Seeing people's face light up when they see the band for the first time.
-Seeing people get converted from TwiHards to Monkey Junkies. (No matter how much I hate the word "Monkey Junkie" and no matter how much I DO NOT consider myself one...)
-Being on the road constantly.
-Rest stops/truck stops.
-Sleeping in the van while it's driving... peaceful.
-CHIPS!
-Taking the roaddog along for the ride.
-A new city every day.
-Getting dressed in the van and not giving a shit if the creeper two cars over is stealing a peek.
-The moment the boys take the stage.
-Being as drenched with sweat as they are because everything they're giving I'm giving back to them.
-High fives.
-Getting the venue before the band and helping them know where to park/eat/shop.
-The rush I get when my improv is chosen.
-Interaction.
-Seeing new venues. 
-Being dubbed a "road warrior" because I'm hardcore and don't get hotels each night. (RARELY get hotels... ever. Maybe one night each tour.)
-Saying goodbye... 

Yes, saying goodbye is on both lists... because while saying it is so hard, not saying it is even harder and I've always been masochistic... but... those goodbye hugs are better than any hugs in the world. They're perfect enough to try to make it last until the next time around.

Picture of the Day:

xx

Blood On The Walls

Like a kitten purring during a Christmas day massacre, 

Sitting there soft and touchable, 

The world unfolding and bleeding around you, 

We all must maintain our appearances to survive, 

But there will always be the impending doom, 

Waiting in the wings for you to notice it, 

Just when you think it's disappeared from your line of view, 

It'll snap right out and take you.

The Space

From one side of the room to the other, 

I estimate the number of steps, 

I contemplate the things to say;

Moisture upon my lips.

I fight the urge to run to you, 

But I have to make myself move my legs, 

Our eyes dart back and forth

As you slowly mouth my name, 

I never cared much for what I've been called, 

But to hear it from anyone else won't sound the same, 

The air is thick and tight as the walls they slowly cave, 

Three people or two hundred, 

Doesn't matter, it's all the same, 

When the space between us closes, 

And I'm finally home again.