You're One Of Us

"All that I need is the air that I breathe, 

And all that I need are things I don't need, 

And all that really matters is what matters to me..."



Lyrics of the day by Blind Melon and could not be more true. Think about that for a while. Put it in your juice box and suck it.

This is a blog that I've been meaning to write since the very beginning of the year... and since I do not have my cheat sheet piece of paper, I hope that I can remember it all.

I documented each place that I traveled in 2010 and was pretty astounded. I believe there was only one month out of the year that I didn't travel: May. And you know what? Fuck May.

January: Tulsa, Las Vegas.
February: LA.
March: Des Moines, STL, Louisville.
April: Nashville, Birmingham, Memphis, Little Rock, Dallas.
June: Seattle.
July: LA, Scottsdale, Las Vegas, San Diego, San Francisco.
August: Detroit.
October: Baton Rouge.
November: Baton Rouge (Several times.)
December: Baton Rouge, Atlanta, Birmingham, New Orleans, Houston, Dallas, Austin...

(And then of course at the beginning of my 2011 tally for cities traveled is Mission and San Antonio...)

Looks like I also didn't go anywhere in September, which makes sense because that's when I moved from Kansas City.

I definitely love to travel. I honestly wouldn't trade this life for anything in the whole wide world. No amount of money... no amount of bribery... there's honestly only one thing that will ever get me to stop and I will never say it out loud.

Picture of the day:

New Tricks

"Maybe I should have saved those leftover dreams, 
Funny but here's that rainy day..." 

I guess it's been a while since I've blogged... and I know I *still* haven't done my Birmingham or Memphis blog; I guess that one day it will just be like a surprise for you. Someday you'll wake up and it'll be here...

I'm at the beginning of a headache. I can't tell if it's going to be a migraine yet or not...

I pulled out a good chunk of my eyelashes today. I really have a problem with that... :-/

Jennifer and I finally got the second season of Grey's Anatomy on DVD. :) That made me happy. Only took me 2 days to watch it all. Now, of course, I am ready for the third season...

Funny thing, actually...

We walked into FYE to go buy Grey's and right inside the door is the Twilight merchandise. I did a once over and they were having a sale (50% off Twilight merchandise, so I was going to look for the Jasper doll.) The employee said, "Can I help you find anything?" I said "Jasper" and that turned into a hugeeeee conversation/debate about the books and movies and the "neglected" characters.

She talked our fucking ears off! Rambling on and on and on about all sorts of Twilight related things. I was polite and listened, though I wanted to just say, "Yeaaaaaah... I'm not *THAT* into Twilight, just kinda wanted the Jasper doll so I could like, make it dance and put it in my van..." I listened to the TwiHard for a bit and then her customers got impatient. She was definitely the most interesting person that I met that day, however. (And she was an Emmett girl.)

It's hard for me to fall asleep. The night time is the hardest, which... I don't understand, but it is. I lay in bed last night - lights off, TV off, mind ON. Just as I would start to fall asleep I would sit straight up and gasp for air. I clench my fists, I clench my jaw... I don't know what to call this. I also don't know how to make it stop.

I got some Worry Dolls the other day we were out; they haven't helped.

I feel like I'm a disappointment to everyone I meet. I haven't made my parents proud, I haven't made my "fans" proud, I haven't made my friends proud. I can't even edit and keep up with my sites. I don't know what to do. The ADD is getting worse; the anxiety is getting worse. The addictions are getting worse. The only thing I'm getting better at is hiding it and lying about it.

Picture of the Day: