118 Songs Everyone Needs On Their iTunes

In alphabetical order here are 118 songs that I feel you can't live without/could benefit having in your life.

Download. Repeat. (Or listen to on YouTube.)

(Repeat 117 more times.)

Come back and tell me how they changed your life.

Enjoy. :)

1. We Need A Resolution - Aaliyah ...the beat on this song just makes me die and be happily reborn again.
2. My Same (Live) - Adele ...I absolutely adore singing along to this.
3. Potential Breakup Song - Aly & AJ ...guilty pleasure #1
4. Flavor Of The Weak - American Hi-Fi ... saw them in concert; my first legit mosh pit. I fell down and a cute guy picked me up. I love to blast this song and SCREAM it.
5. Wreck Of The Day - Anna Nalick ...I hate myself for not writing this song, but I love it (and her) so much. One of my top 5 favorite songs of ALL TIME.
6. We Used To Wait - Arcade Fire ...I listen to the entire Suburbs album front to back several times a week. Life changing. This album (in its entirety) has 56 plays on my iTunes.
7. Fake Tales Of San Francisco - Arctic Monkeys ...This song reminds me of so much... I sing it all the time (loudly) when I'm mad... "Oh you saved me, she screamed down the line, the band weren't very good and I'm not having a nice time!"
8. Bad Day - Asher Roth ...the first chorus; story of my LIFE.
9. Crank It Up - Ashley Tisdale ...I fell in love with this song. I won't lie. It's catchy as FUCK.
10. Head Full Of Doubt, Road Full Of Promise - Avett Brothers ...I have a tattoo that I'm getting that's relevant to a lyric from this song. THAT'S how much I love it.
11. Sail - AWOLNATION ...fell in love with it when I saw a video on Reddit of a breakdancer dancing see here. I had never heard the song or of the band before then... apparently they're a big deal. I like the ADD and kill myself part. Relates to me.
12. Channel Z - B-52's ...Cosmic Thing is one of the albums that I grew up on.
14. Feel Flows - Beach Boys ...makes me want to smoke weed.
15. Here Comes The Sun - The Beatles ...I'm not a huge fan of the Beatles, but I adore this song and a few others.
16. Moonlight Sonata - Beethoven ...Over 200 plays in iTunes. Sometimes I'll just sit there with it on repeat for hours and stare at the ceiling... or paint...
17. Alone - Ben Harper ...another life changing song. If you like this one, check out ANYTHING by Ben Harper.
18. Hypnotize - Biggie ..."Escargot, my car go..."
19. When The Lights Go Out" - The Black Keys ...I fell in love with them on the Black Snake Moan soundtrack... amazing... go see that movie, too.
20. All That I Need - Blind Melon ...can you ever go wrong with Blind Melon?
21. Family Reunion - Blink 182 ...You want to hear some curse words?! I once got asked to leave school for wearing a Blink "Take Off Your Pants & Jacket" tour shirt... Good times.
22. Call Me - Blondie ...I have this dream of having a high school acapella choir sing this song. I have it all arranged in my head.
23. Blind Willie McTell - Bob Dylan ...ever see "I'm Not There"? It was a miraculous film. Go.
24. The Wreckoning - Boomkat ...So thankful I haven't lost this song. Was once my theme song.
25. I Feel So - Boxcar Racer ...another once upon a theme song...
26. Be Gentle With Me - The Boy Least Likely To ...this song reminds me of driving through the Utah desert in 2009 and I could see EVERY star that there ever was. It was absolutely amazing and incredible. I pulled the car over to stop and take it in. It was the perfect weather and the perfect skyline.
27. Nine Sixteen - Bruno Merz ...I don't remember where I found this song, but it reminds me of endless roads while on the road.
28. See The Light - CCR ...come ON... repeat this song for a few days and you'll have a new perspective on your current problem.
29. Bend Over Beethoven - !!! ...I want to know who mastered this album; it sounds fuck-excellent.
30. Hang Me Up To Dry - Cold War Kids ...I can listen to this on repeat for about 5x and then I'm ready to move on, but the beat will stay with me for days.
31. Put Your Records On - Corrine Bailey Rae ...this song used to make me cry each time I listened to it.
32. Mr Jones - Counting Crows ...this song DOES make me cry each time I listen to it. Without fail.
33. Possum Song - Dana Falconberry ...absolutely perfect lyrics; it gives me chills each time I hear it. LISTEN RIGHT NOW. "How could I be lonely...?"
34. The Rat - Dead Confederate ...listen to it... and think about it.
35. Ain't That A Kick In The Head - Dean Martin ...It's Dean Martin!!!!
36. Grapevine Fires - Death Cab ...I am trying to just pick one song per artist, which is hard to do with a band (my favorite band) like Death Cab... but this song evokes strong emotions in me; I can't say why... I don't know why. It makes me cry almost every time. I love it.
37. Rake's Song - The Decemberists ...I haven't met many of their songs that I didn't love, this song I have a strong conviction for. I love storytelling songs and things that have a beginning, middle and end... (like most Death Cab songs)... this song I fucking love and adore. (And my best friend has a strong conviction against it... which makes it even better.) The song is about killing your own children. You're curious now, aren't you?
38. Black Irish - Devil Makes Three ...this will forever remind me of the winding roads of California's path to the 101, but I fucking love it. Partly my motto.
39. Sultans of Swing - Dire Straits ...another band that I was raised on... this has the greatest guitar solo of all time. I will argue that to the death.*
40. Shake It Off - The Donnas ...if you don't like the Donnas, you should go die in a hole. They have a chick drummer and they're all hot as FUCK.
41. Love Her Madly - The Doors ...this song makes me happy. That's its sole purpose in life.
42. Watching The Detectives - Elvis Costello ...the only "Elvis" that I knew growing up. "She's filing her nails while they're dragging the lake"... best. line. ever.
43. My Dad's Gone Crazy - Eminem ...Can rap every word. Listen to the song & think about that.
44. At Last - Etta James ...I hate that she's passed... but... this has always been my go-to karaoke performance song... never fails to get them to pay attention. :)
45. I Need A Man - Eurythmics ...my go-to chick lead singer growing up. I used to listen to this at photoshoots when I was a kid. I still belt this shit.
46. The Take Over, The Break's Over - Fall Out Boy ...I don't care what people say; I fucking love FOB. Lyrical perfection. This song took me from "fan" to "obsessed".
47. Paper Bag - Fiona Apple ...another lyrical perfection. This song gets thrown on repeat a lot while I sing it in a happily and melancholy way. (Yep, you think about that for a while.)
48. Do You Realize? - The Flaming Lips ...I wanted to BE this song.
49. Gold Dust Woman - Fleetwood Mac ...I wanted to BE Stevie Nicks.
50. DOA - Foo Fighters ...I sing this motherfucker like I MEAN it. I play air drums to it... the intro is my favorite. :D
51. Just One Of Those Things - Frank Sinatra ...I'm glad we were never alive at the same time. I would have been a groupie for Frank.
52. Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand ...I will say this one more time... this song has the best tempo change in the history of music.
53. Queer - Garbage ...I wish I wrote this song. When this song came out I used to playsing it to my mirror with a hairbrush. Oh yeah.
54. O Shot - The Gay Blades ...Catchy as hell and I love guitar.
55. Something Kind Of Ooh - Girls Aloud ...I have a love affair with Euro-techno-pop.
56. Need - Hana Pestle ...it'll change your whole world. ...but don't listen unless you want to bawl your eyes out.
57. Barracuda - Heart ...I love anything by Heart. Don't diss Heart; they're great.
58. Bus Stop - The Hollies ...my number 3 favorite song. Makes me cry in the happiest of ways. I sing this like an adorable raccoon.
59. Miss Take - The HorrorPops ...bitch plays the upright bass, she's invited to my house to party any day. This song reminds me of my current events.
60. Curse - Imagine Dragons ...they JUST got signed to Interscope and are about to be huge after they play SXSW this March -- go listen now.
61. Cold in California - Ingram Hill ...a band that I have loved & known since 2004; they're country rock from Memphis and they give great fucking hugs.
62. Boy With A Coin - Iron & Wine ...How the hell do I explain them to you? They're great... they make me want to sell all my belongings and get in a car and travel the country without a cell phone as I just listen to their music.
63. Vertigo (If It's A Crime) - Islands ...I am [hopefully] finally getting to see this band perform in March and I might piss all over myself when I do. This is the greatest song in the world; 12 minutes and it goes by so fast... slide guitar. Go.
64. Sweet Baby James - James Taylor ...His voice makes me want to move to Colorado or back to Kansas... this song mentions my birthday. Can play on guitar. :)
65. 2 Many Hoes - Jay-Z ...it's fun to sing. The Blueprint 2 is my favorite... Jay-Z reminds me of driving around in my convertible Mustang when I was 18. Lord I thought I was the shit. ... (I wasn't.)
66. Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley ...I am only posting this because I know there is at least ONE person out there who hasn't discovered this song yet... seriously... go... you won't be sorry.
67. Prisoner - Jeffree Star ...he's got hot pink hair and tattoos. Listen.
68. Trash Me - Jessie Malakouti ...reminds me of my life here on the internet. It's catchy and poppy and awesome.
69. She's A Genius - JET ...this song makes me want to go into a rock club and do coke with strangers.
70. Take Me Home, Country Roads - John Denver ...there's a part in the bridge that I like to harmonize to. :D
71. Folsom Prison Blues - Johnny Cash ...Sometimes I'll just put on some Cash for a few days and turn off everything. Puts a lot in perspective.
72. California - Joni Mitchell ...when I listen to this song I feel there's nothing stopping me from getting in my car and GOING.
73. Didn't I - k.d. Lang ...she's pretty amazing live and this song is best played FUCKING LOUD.
74. Merry Happy - Kate Nash ...another Brit whom I adore... I love to sing this song in perfect rhythm and accent.
75. Settle Down - Kimbra ...currently my most played song in iTunes with 166 plays... and that's all happened within a couple weeks. I am obsessed with her.
76. Bloody Mary - Lady Gaga ...my friend told me she saw Gaga open for NKOTB during their first comeback tour... I punched her.
77. Love Me Or Hate Me - Lady Sovereign ...yet another Brit... I can and do rap each word in perfect accent... also, another theme song. :D
78. Since I've Been Loving You - Led Zeppelin ...this was my top played song on my last computer with nearly 800 plays. I listen to this when I write. Best guitar solo ever. Hands down.*
79. Take A Bow - Madonna ...another song for me to cry to. Lord, I remember when this came out.
80. Sweet Dreams - Marilyn Manson ...perfection. So fucking perfect I STILL hear it when people make me listen to the radio.
81. I Wanna Be Loved By You - Marilyn Monroe ...she's so gorgeous, even her voice is beautiful.
82. Bright Lights - Matchbox 20 ...this was my theme song before I left KC... when I saw it performed live I cried... boy, I cry a lot, eh?
83. Smells Like Teen Spirit - Meat Puppets ...COME ON!!!!!
84. Gold Guns Girls - Metric ...this song reminds me of one of my friends in a band.
85. Big Girl - Mika ...listen to Mika; everyone who I have introduced to Mika has been obsessed with him. He's adorable, he's gay, he's from Lebanon. Go.
86. Alcohol - Millionaries ...they're like The Oh Noz, but not as mean.
87. Peculiar People - Mute Math ...I saw this band open for Matchbox 20 (that time when I said I cried...) and I absolutely fell in love. Actually... what's stronger than that? I became obsessed over night.
88. Bang Bang - Nancy Sinatra ...I always wanted to do a photoshoot revolving around this song.
89. Lithium - Nirvana ...if you "know" me and don't know that I'm obsessed with Kurt and Nirvana, then you don't know me at all. Listen to everything they have. Don't waste any more of your life.
90. Faster Kill Pussycat - Paul Oakenfold ...put this song on repeat for a few days and you'll start to see glowsticks in your dreams. In a good way.
91. Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd ...to be played at my funeral. That's not creepy, right?
92. Drag - Placebo ...This song reminds me of every crush I've ever had.
93. My Leftovers - Porcelain & The Tramps ...my theme song for SO many years.
94. Such Great Heights - Postal Service ...another song that reminds me of another dude that I know in a band. Ffffffffuuuuuuu!!!
95. Exit Music - Radiohead ...did you know that I can't find any contact information for Radiohead ANYWHERE on the Internet? Frustrating. I want to shoot their band. This is such a great song.
96. I'm Shakin' - Rooney ...I have the OC to thank for introducing me to Rooney... and to many other bands (like Death Cab)...
97. Black & Gold - Sam Sparro ...My Brit friend sent me this many, many, MANY years ago... in 2007 when I went to record my album in LA it was the only thing that I listened to on the plane ride there and back... and then around 2009 I started seeing it pop up in commercials and movies. Made me feel like a hipster.
98. L.E.S. Artistes - Santigold ...another song for the repeat button.
99. Australia - The Shins ...my favorite song of all time. Ever.
100. Imma Tell - Tech N9NE ...KC rapper makes big. I used to record at the same studio as he. All the talent in the world got soaked up here.
101. Great Lakes - Telekinesis ...One of the coolest bands in the world. Listen to them and make your life happier. Seriously fantastic.
102. Classico - Tenacious D ...I want to meet Tenacious D. The Pick Of Destiny is one of the greatest movies in life.
103. The Way I Are - Timbaland ...Keri Hilson is one talented bitch and Timbaland is one of the coolest people that I've briefly encountered in person. This song kicks my ass. I want to get in Timbo's head.
104. Great DJ - The Ting Tings ...another band I was introduced to by my Brit friend before they were big in the US. Fantazzzmo!
105. Stupid - Toad The Wet Sprocket ...what does their band name mean? This is a band my mom and I share. Applies to life.
106. Pasties & A G-String - Tom Waits ...I PROMISE to one day to a burlesque routine to this. Mark these words.
107. Hollywood Chain Gang - Tony Lucca ...the only person I have ever fangirl'd to meet.
108. Oxford Comma - Vampire Weekend ...there's an internet meme going around now that is about an oxford comma... "who gives a fuck about an oxford comma?" I DO.
109. Take Me On The Floor - Veronicas ...I met these girls... crazy tiny Australians. I wanted to kidnap them and make out with them at the same time. Strange feelings are strange.
110. Bitter Sweet Symphony - Verve Pipe ...don't lie... this song is amazing.
111. Ride - The Vines ...fantastic guitar, fantastic bass drum... fantastic lyrics.
112. Seizure Boy - Watsky ...just Google this motherfucker and thank me later.
114. Hash Pipe - Weezer ...listen to this song really loud in your car with the windows up... you'll get high off the guitar and Rivers' voice alone.
115. Seven Nation Army - White Stripes ...the 2nd song I learned to play on the guitar.
116. Heads Will Roll - Yeah Yeah Yeahs ...I somehow always listen to this song on the way to the venue...
117. La Grange - ZZ Top ...The Oh Noz have threatened to cover this song.
118. Chokechain - 3OH!3 ...Johnson once asked me in a bar when 3OH!3 came on and I started dancing and singing all the words, "who are these guys? Are they big?" I didn't know if they were or not... but I think he liked them. Or something.

In The Time...

...it takes me to sign into Blogger I forget why I even opened it anyway. Obviously to write a blog, but now I can't remember what about.

I just brewed a pot of coffee.

As I see it, if you can't beat insomnia, embrace it wholeheartedly. More time for work, anyhow. (And by "work" I mean "Reddit".)

The night is the hardest. It always has been. So much unknown out there - and don't get me wrong - I love the unknown. The unknown and the untraveled are the very reason why I even bother with so much that I do... but for the insomniatic, the unknown and the night are terrifying.

My thoughts flood me the minute that I lay down on my bed; the minute that I close my eyes... I am reminded of memories. The times that I laughed and was happy - I catch my breath for fear I will never have those experiences that made me that way again. ...I am reminded of the times that I couldn't catch my breath - the times that a simple touch, smile or inside joke was more than enough to sustain me - the wind is knocked out of me for the fact that I know that I don't have that and that I never will again (so far as I can see). ...I am reminded of the wrong that I have caused to people. All, honestly, unintentional - I catch my breath because if these people ever knew the amount and years of pain it has caused me, perhaps they would forgive me.

Perhaps forgiveness has already been granted. Perhaps I am not as thought of by these people as I once thought.

Who knows.

Sleep deprivation is writing this now. Sometimes it's better that way... better than the alternative.

About 2 years ago I wrote a blog in which I said that I had done wrong to some in my "past lives*" and however unintentional it was, I caused them pain that was unnecessary. I said how I was taking the steps towards being a better person.

I truly believe that I have lived up to that - however, we all make mistakes, and we all have to hurt each other.

So much of my life I have spent walking the fence; always fearing to take sides; always fearing to disappoint anyone or to side on anything...

I rode this fence and instead of speaking my mind and my opinion when I could (and probably should) have, I didn't. I ate it and sat there so as not to disrupt anything or anyone.

This was wrong.

In this process I have hurt people...

But then...

Sometimes you stand up for yourself, your beliefs and your opinions and you hurt people.

We all hurt people.

You've hurt people. You may have hurt someone today. Who knows... but you can be forgiven. If not, I know you can learn to move on.

Your best friend makes a cake and it tastes like shit - you tell him it tastes like shit and his feelings are hurt.

You work really hard on a photo layout and give it to your client - they tell you that they were thinking in going a different direction - you thought this layout was your Sistine Chapel - you are hurt by their words.

A stranger calls you "fat" on the Internet. You are, indeed, plump. You are hurt by their words.

A stranger calls your art "a disgrace". You believe them even though they are trolls. You are hurt.

You break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend and *mean* it when you say you want to stay friends. They are hurt.

...What are the alternatives to these things? No one can truly go through life without hurting anyone. It's life.

Alternatives?

Your best friend makes a cake and it tastes like shit - you eat it anyway and tell him it tastes good; your stomach aches for days and he raves about how he's the greatest baker since Julia Fucking Child. He makes more cake. You are obligated to eat it. ...it would have been easier to just tell him it wasn't great. Then he can get better.

You work really hard on a photo layout and give it to your client - they don't want to tell you that your work was not adequate for the account so they either; A: are pussies and can't man up and tell you, so they hire you and it flops. Or B: they just plain don't call you back and you always wonder if it was your work or something that you said or did in the meeting. ...it would have just been better for you to hear the truth - that way you can improve.

A stranger calls you fat on the Internet. Look... people are always going to troll. Some people just get off making fun of others and inflicting invisible pain. Note that 98% of these assholes wouldn't have the guts to say anything to your face. (I have met some... they hide behind their screens all day, but in fact it's just because they are insecure about themselves.)

A stranger calls your art a disgrace. Work harder. Your art is never finished... then again... neither are the trolls.

You don't break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend... you try to push through the relationship, but in the end you are unhappy and unfulfilled. When the break up finally happens, it's messy and your partner is mad at you for hiding this from them for so long - ultimately you don't get to keep them as a friend. ...it would have been so much better to just be honest at your realization moment instead of dragging something out. If you really can stay friends - friendship is better than nothing. Obviously this person meant something to you if you dated them in the first place.

So yeah... I have hurt people. People have hurt me. It's all recyclable and it's all normal. It doesn't make you (OR ME!) a bad, terrible, awful person. It makes you normal.

Everyone hurts people.

Sure, ignorance is bliss. ...and I enjoy my fair share of ignorance in the right place and time. There's some things that I prefer to be completely blind to (I won't discuss those here), but I love to hear all of the upfront and honest truth from my friends/family/lovers/etc.

I give my friends full permission to ridicule my work. Let me fucking have it. I've been working on a new project lately and I've recruited a couple friends (more to come in the later processes) to look over and proof my stuff... they tell me their opinions. I'd rather have my friends honest opinion knowing full and well that they love me no matter what versus my future employers full and honest opinion on the first day. It's much easier.

The long and short of this is that I hate that I've caused people necessary pain. Normal day-to-day shit. I hate hurting feelings. I'm terrible at it... look at me... I've had insomnia for years because this is the shit that keeps me up at night... this normal shit that everyone goes through and it bothers me so damn much that I hate to close my eyes.

I don't know if anyone else out there thinks these things or has these problems, but I just thought that I would finally get off my chest what's been bothering me for years.

In the coming new year I'm hoping to document in a notebook all the things that bother me about the ways that I've unintentionally hurt people and perhaps what the outcome would have been if I didn't and how I feel me hurting them perhaps bettered our situation... also, the ways people have hurt me, what the outcome would have been if they didn't and how I feel them hurting me bettered our situation. I think this will be cathartic and helpful towards loosening these thoughts that I have.

If you have any suggestions for sleep, insomnia, reciepes I should try, an example of "necessary" pain/hurt, etc... kind words, hate mail, etc. Leave it after the jump and I'll respond to as many as I can. :)

*past lives... In my mind my life isn't broken up into one consecutive thing... because I have so much memory loss of my past the different highlights that I can recall I remember as "past lives". Such as, my childhood (all four years or so that I can piece together), my teenage years (not much of that either), my early 20's (like shuffling through Justin Timberlake concerts and whatnot), and then the now. The "now" I refer to as the last three years of my life.

<3

A Sledgehammer To The Face

So... I read a book. Well, to be honest, I read the majority of a book... for those of you who know me (or have read about me in interviews or what-have-you), you should know that I do not often pick up a book. I feel that I quite often do not have a lot of time to read and that when I do feel like reading, there is not often things that interest me enough to read 300 pages of it and even less often will it be something that will hold my goldfish of an attention span.

I read a small book (about 170 pages) called He's Just Not That Into You. Many have heard of this book, or at least heard of the movie that followed. I can now say that I'm one of those people who states things like, "the book was so much better than the movie." Ugh. I hate to say it, but it was true.

I didn't realize when the movie came out that it was based on a self-help book. I didn't realize how much this book could help my *self*.

There were moments in it that I wanted to slap myself with epiphany... moments in it where I wanted to cry from realization of past flame's... moments where I laughed aloud at the fact that I had ever been so stupid...

I highly recommend this book to everyone. Male, female - doesn't matter. Everyone should read this book. I think it should be taught in schools... I could have saved 10 years of horrible dating experience if I had read this book when I was 16.

These realizations are not easy to come by to say, "oh wow... yeah... he just wasn't that into me..." But I say, "well, that sucks." And now I move on. At least it is no more time wasted on someone who wasn't willing to waste their time on me...

And as the book says, I deserve better. :)

Go read this book!

Big Ass Tiny Bullies

This is what happens when you only get three hours of Benedryl induced sleep. Your mind wanders... and you cyber stalk the people that you knew in a previous life.

It's funny how your life is broken down between friendships and relationships; houses and jobs; etc... those are the things that you can remember.

I remember far too much... and then again, I can't remember anything at all.

I came across a piece of hate mail directed to me and written in 2008. Probably before anyone who will read this knew me. I was on Google searching trying to find someone I once knew and I was linked back to my own blog and slapped in the face with this slew of comments talking how if I was - and I quote - "run over by a bus and killed that [this person] would be the happiest girl on the planet", how I will "never become anything" and how I was a "stupid bitch ruining everyone's life and just a waste of space on this earth".

Reading back those hurtful and hateful comments made me feel so unwanted all over again. It didn't matter what it was about... it hurt to read it again. It didn't matter who said it, when or what it was regarding... it hurt.

I realize it now as cyber bullying. This person basically encouraged me to kill myself numerous times. Imagine that -- imagine being so hated by someone that your death would cause them happiness.

Bullying is something that I put up with in grade school... a little in middle school... so much Freshman year of high school that I transfered schools (and in hindsight my mother says that we should have sued the pants off their "rich asses" because of it). Most often times (note the high school bullying) I was not backed up by the teacher.

They thought of me as tattling. "Mrs. Long, Tommy called me fat again and pulled my chair out from under me." She would sigh heavily and tell me to go sit down. Eventually, I found myself a burden. (Something that I have issues with in other forms, as well...)

The teachers said that there was nothing that they could do. "Just ignore it," they would say and continue teaching. Eventually I shut down and while I was ignoring it, I was also ignoring class.

I *WISH* that my teachers would have done something about the bullies in my school. I would have rather been sent to another class or teacher than to have to deal with that. I would have rather the bullies been sent to the principal and have disciplinary action taken on them EACH time they bullied me or someone else. That's the only way to correct it. (Oh, and for parents to RAISE THEIR CHILDREN CORRECTLY!!!!)

The sad thing is, now we have this wonderful tool called "The Internet" to hide behind where we can bully people behind a magic shield from the comfort of our living room or queen sized bed.

The terrible part about this is I grew up in a world where as soon as I got out of high school my teens I really thought (ignorantly) that adults would act differently than the children I grew up with. Let's face it: adults are nothing but children with bank accounts and real life Big Wheels.

The mass majority of these people that cyber bully would never (ever, ever, ever) say something to the face of the person they are bullying.

What's the point?

Why waste your time and your online figurative "breath" to bash, diss, bully, hate on ANYONE? What's the point? It doesn't make you look big and bad. It makes you look scared, threatened and jealous.

They say that the best revenge is success.

I've always taken this to heart and I've never thrown down and fought; I've never had any sort of yelling altercation (verbal or email written); I am more of a person to just pretend that you never happened to my life and walk away. Cut my losses, collect my remaining chips and just leave the table. It's my goal to remain somewhat graceful in everything. When you lose your dignity, others will lose their respect for you.

Easily Influenced: A Series Of Confessions

I've always been a quitter. Unless I wanted something more than anything... then I have a history of never stopping until I get what I want.

I have only child syndrome. I'm not great at sharing. I was never considered "spoiled" as a kid (we didn't grow up with tons of money, but I didn't go without...) but I had more than my fair share of toys and belongings. I get bored easily and I'm quite bossy at times.

There's a lot of things that I wish I could have had growing up. Most of them are not material. The only toy that I can think of that I wanted so badly but I never got was one of those Barbie 4x4 cars that you actually drive. I wished for one for so many years... I wished on stars, I wished on birthday candles... nothing. It never came. I'm probably better off with the bike that my parents bought me. I was a thin and active child and for that, I am grateful.

I quit dance and now I can't remember why. I actually quit dance twice... I quit acting. I quit band. I quit calling my parents. I quit high school. I quit my singing career. I quit my boyfriends. I quit my jobs.

Now, it's not that I'm the girl that quits as soon as things get hard - quite the opposite in fact. I'm the girl that quits when I've had "enough" or when I'm bored. I work very hard to get the things that I want... unfortunately I just don't have the attention span to reap the benefits for said hard work.

Now, to go back up there... my singing career? I was manipulated into quitting that. Here's a horrible place to tell you that I am easily influenced. But, at least now I *realize* that.

So, now there's so many people (most of them strangers) trying to get me to quit things... (*shifty eyes*) and I realize that I am easily influenced. I realize that they all have valid key points... but... we're missing the most important key point! The keyest of all points... the creme de le point!

IT MAKES ME HAPPY.

Why do so many people take an interest in my life? I'll never know. I actually don't care to know. I don't mind that people take an interest in my life... it makes me feel wanted and needed. Even if I just provide laughter (as they're laughing at me...) or quips... even if I just give them something to talk about and gossip about with their friends... or if they actually like me and they're genuinely interested in what I say... if I inspire someone to pick up a camera and take a photo or if I help them in their personal life by them relating to something that I've said --- I like it.

I don't understand it. It's weird and entirely new ground and I don't mind it. How's that for a confession? But, I've had a great friend able to help me through the process of this... They've offered many words of wisdom. (Most of them humorous.)

So, while I am still happy doing what I do - I will continue to do it. Others may (hell, probably will) try to convince me to stop doing what makes me happy - but those people clearly don't know me. (*See yesterday's blog entry...)

Another thing about me... I have ADD. That's a reason why I have quit so many things... I get bored. Burnt out. Tired. Over it... and, that always happens sooner or later. So... if you're one of the people trying to get me to quit something - just have a little patience, will ya?

26/26

"Never dreamt of such sterile hands..."





26 days until my 26th birthday.

I love the countdown to my birthday. I am determined to make this one a good one... from December 1, 2009 all the way up until now... (and time is still passing...) this has been the best year of my life. Hands down. Without a doubt. Actually, I reckon it could have all started back in August 2009. :) December was really just a good kick off.

December 1, 2009 I bought Grape by 100 Monkeys for one of my birthday presents. Later that day I got my first Fender electric guitar. *happiness*

Of course, other than those two things it wasn't a very good birthday at all. I spent it all alone and no one really gave a shit that I was having a birthday. 25 is supposed to be better than that.

For 26 it's definitely going to be something a bit more enjoyable. I'm spending it with a select group of friends. I'm hoping that I get birthday phone calls even though everyone knows I'm not going to answer the phone... and on my actual birthday, the plan is a new tattoo.

Blah, blah, blah.

No one is listening.

xx

Opportunity, Hear It's Knock

[insert the lyrics to what you're currently listening to here]

Sometimes life treats you bad... sometimes life treats you good. Sometimes you have no idea what the fuck life is all about until it's over. Life can be a little shit, a perfect angel and a facetious bastard at times. Or all the time.

For the past couple months life has both been good to me and been a facetious little bastardy shit. I love irony as much as the next person, truly, I do... but there are some times when I have to say, "alright... ha ha... enough is enough."

Also, as you may know by now, my mantra is - BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR.

I managed to get my camera without having to sell my guitar... something I would call a definite win. Jennifer bought me that guitar for my 25th birthday (which I just had in December...) and she was a little (err... a lot...) pissed off that I was going to sell it... but alas... I needed a DSLR.

Now that that has happened, before I can even get the camera into my hot little hands (Friday) - I've started lining up new projects and plans. This year... suffice it to say... will be the busiest, and is already, the best year of my life.

I can't discuss any of the projects I've got my hands in right now, but I am so beyond thrilled to be involved in them... so honored to get a chance to work with the people associated with them. Insane.

A year ago... well... let me go back into my blog a year and see where I was, shall we? I was in Twitter drama... I was living in a hotel... I was completely unhappy with my life and only wanting/looking forward to one thing... which... if you knew/know me... it does not need to be said aloud.

Hah.

Oh lord... see, this is where that "be careful what you wish for" shit comes into play.

Swiftly moving on.

Me in May 2008:

Me in May 2009:

And, this would be where I would post a photo of myself from 2010, however... the only photos that have been taken of me in 2010 are on my mothers computer... but... you know... haven't changed much from April... LOL Here's April 2010:

With Jake Miller of The Kissing Club.

You know... I have changed so much... changed so much in the last year... in the past two years. I used to take an obscene amount of photos of myself, trying to stay the person I was when I was 8 years old... and now, I really am not in a lot of photos... Interesting. I still love to take photos with my friends - (such as this photo of Jake or the photo of me with Jay, Ben and Larry...) but other than those couple photos, the week that I was out with the boys, Willow, Jessie and Jennifer - there are maybe three other photos of me.

Insane.

You know... I started this blog with a specific purpose...

When an opportunity knocks on your door, you must answer. However... it seems that too many opportunities have knocked and now I have to start turning some down. :( This saddens me, but at the same time - I must keep my artistic integrity intact.

I am so excited to see where the next few months will take me... (Oh the places you will go!) and I am even more excited to share this journey with y'all.

Rock on,

Jodie

Las Vegas Airport Blog

*LOUD NOISES!*

I have to start out my blog with a heavy sigh -- this morning Willow's flight from Charlotte got cancelled. So [yet again] she's going to miss out on going to Vegas. :( I am so super sad about this. It's just terrible.

While we have only had the trip to Vegas planned as long as the boys have (you know, a whole two weeks...) I love seeing Willow and I know how much she loves seeing the boys. This will actually be the first Monkeys show that I'll be seeing without her. *starts to sob...* I hate that. I never ever ever want to see another one without her. Ever again.

I hate planes.

I mean, I love planes - they get me places... Maybe I should hate North Carolina. Yep. Going to hate NC. I already hate it - it's too far away.

Good part of the day? I accidentally left my lighter from Tulsa in my purse - it didn't get confiscated. #unexpectedwin

I'm tired. Had a dream about the Monkeys last night -- you know Mitch Hedberg once said:

I hate dreaming because when you want to sleep, you want to sleep. Dreaming is work. Next thing you know, I have to build a go-cart with my ex-landlord.

I feel the exact same way at times -- on one hand, I love dreaming; it's like an extracurricular activity for me. On the other hand, sometimes my dreams can be exhausting.

A lady just sat next to me who sprayed a whole bottle of perfume on her. Fuck her life.

Pic of the Day:

Just a few more hours. :) I'm going to take some new open shutter pictures with my new camera, will post if they're worth it. I seriously don't know how it can get much better than this, however... I love it.

xoxox

Doo-Bee-Di

"She said my name like it was her breath,

And she needed it to survive..."

Few days ago I made a mistake that I swore I would never make again... I was sleeping, I "dreamt" of a song lyric - it was so simple, perfect rhythm and rhyme and yet I swore that I would remember it when I awoke so I didn't write it down... just like the rest of my dreams, thoughts and memories, it faded and now it's forever lost.

I'm on my 2nd day here at my Mama's house... the cats are still alive, the house hasn't burned down yet...

I don't like giving Catfish her IV. I know that I HAVE to or else she'll die, but it's so hard for me to poke a 14 gauge needle into a cat... that just... I can't do it... I mean, I do it, I've given her the IV four times now, but it's just... it's so hard.

Earlier this morning I was writing in my journal and I came across a few thoughts... first of all, no matter how hard I try to be honest with my journal, it's hard for me... What's the point then, you should ask. What's the point in writing in a journal if you're not going to be honest?

I guess there's a lot of my life that I just leave out of my journal. I wish that I had the patience and utter selflessness, honesty to write everything down exactly as it happens... there have been times that I've written in my journal and gone back to read things that happened several years ago and I had honestly forgotten that they happened. So then if I leave things out of my journal now, things that I may believe that I'll remember forever, mundane things like details - I could potentially lose them forever.

My thoughts are precious, I don't share them often. Not my true thoughts. I hardly even share them with myself because I know that I'm crazy. The way I get to conclusions is ridiculous... if you were inside my mind for one day you would kill yourself by lunch time.

Speaking of which, I had a piece of Gouda cheese for lunch and it was exquisite.

But why lie, Jodie? Why lie to your journal?

You see, I lie to my journal because of 3 reasons.

1- I'm lying to myself. I can change the smallest details of how things happened when I write it in my journal. No one will ever be the wiser.

2- I'm paranoid. I can't go into that as much as I would like, but I'll just say that I constantly think that someone will read it.

3- I know that eventually someone WILL read my diaries... Whether someone happens upon them and they read them, or when I die... they WILL get read... unless I burn them, which I don't plan on doing because my memory already isn't so great, (the ADD, I blame.) so I can't afford to lose the things that are written inside of these books.

This thought is still incomplete, just something I thought I would share.

Picture of the Day:

Mr. Jackson Rathbone at the premiere of New Moon last night in Hollywood. Smiling. :)

I heard everyone bitching that Rob showed up with stubble... (which, I think he looked sexy as hell with the stubble, thankyouverymuch) But Jackson shaved for the premiere! I'm really ambivalent when it comes to his facial hair (as well as the hair on his head -- it's HIS choice!!) -- but I do think the long side burns look good on him. Not too many people can actually pull that off.

His suit? His suit looked fantastic. Definitely different, which I appreciate and HE wore it, it didn't wear HIM.

I didn't see many pictures of him smiling wide or laughing, but that by far is his greatest accessory. :)

I am definitely uber proud of that man.

The Apple Is The Curse Of Man

"And every flattened penny we found reminded us,

Of our heart, so we threw them in the creek..."

I have been highly unproductive since my return from Nashy. I did manage to get some new photos up on my photography site. But mostly I've just sat and thought of Monkeys... I ache to plan trips to see these silly Monkeys, however, they're being cheeky Monkeys and not releasing their DATES for the tour... Ass Monkeys.

Fine! Enough Monkeys!!

My Mama is leaving for Puerto Rico on Monday for her very first *REAL* vacation... also she's getting married! Should be fun. :)

They were going to board the cats and instead they got a bad feeling about it so now I'm house sitting AND cat watching... that should be... interesting... with the feline allergies. I'll come prepared with Benedryl.

I'll have to administer medication to two of their three cats... I have to give Catfish an IV. :-\ I'm not too stoked about that. I know it's so that she can feel better, but it really bothers me that I'll have to put a needle into her.

Last night it was about 1045 when I thought of my Mama... thought I should call her - decided that it was too late and that I would call her the next day. Two minutes later she called me. :) I love when she reads my mind.

We have an undeniable mother-daughter bond. We're incredibly intuitive and even more so when it comes to each other...

Anyhow, so she asked me last night if I could watch the cats as well... it's not my first time watching the cats, but it's my first time doing any sort of medical treatment on them.

I gladly accepted and my Mama said that I was the "Worlds Greatest Daughter", I told her that made me happy to hear... she also said that I was her favorite daughter. I beamed, (even though I'm her only child) and then I told her that she was my favorite Mommy... she smiled wide and said that that actually meant something. (Since I've got three Moms.)

She said that I had grown a lot over the last six months... matured a lot... she was really impressed with me. Last night was a great conversation with her. :)

She comes back from Puerto Rico the day before Thanksgiving and she asked if we could do a mini-small Thanksgiving at her place... told her that sounded nice and low-key... and then later in the day Jennifer and I are going to get drunk at the casino and go watch New Moon again!!

Speaking of... New Moon comes out like... freaking soon. (I would say "tomorrow" to imply how quickly it has gotten here, however I am afraid that some people might take that literally.)

Last night Jennifer and I watched Twilight over again... it had been a minute since we had seen it and I'm not gonna lie... I totally fangirl'd over Jackson... just a little bit... it was kind of a surreal moment of, "oh my god, I REALLY met him... HIM." Haha, don't laugh at me. I'm still the lamest one here. ;)

I meant to re-read New Moon before the release of the film, so I think tomorrow I will do that... if I don't text/Twitter, tis why... I really can't focus on more than one thing at a time.

Chickka, chickka, chickka... then tis my birthday!!

...*shifts mouth*

It doesn't *FEEL* like my birthday.

That's kinda bumming me out.

If the sky would open up and just DUMP a whole shit ton of snow down on me, that would be greaaaat, that would make it feel more like my birthday.

I have a good amount of RSVP's for my birthday party on the 5th. 5 confirmed, 10 maybes... Hey man, I totally get the "maybe" account... you wanna see what else is going on that Saturday before you help Jodie Platz celebrate her 25th birthday... No, I totally get it... I probably wouldn't come to my birthday party either... unless it was just to get drunk and watch me have a nervous breakdown over the number of candles on my cupcakes... in which case, I think it's gonna be a blast.

...Can't remember my point or where I was going with all that...

Tah-dah!

Pic of the Day:

The St. Louis arch as taken bai Jodie.