Slacker

I was actually listening to The Oh Noz! when I started writing this blog, so I thought that the icon was more than appropriate for today's blog.

The Oh Noz! (my band for the stalkers that follow me from my previous life...) were actually just mentioned in a 100 Monkeys interview. Pretty flippin' sweet, if you ask me.

PZO: What’s a common compliment people give you as a band and individually?
Jackson: “We love your live show.” It’s always amazing, you know, after the show we see people and they tell us how much they had an amazing time and how they met a new best friend of theirs or I think one of the best compliments we ever received was a CD from a fan who had been inspired by us to form her own band and that was a huge compliment right there.
Ben G: The Oh Noz!. 
(laughter)
PZO: That’s what they’re called?
Ben G: Yeah, N-O-Z.


Flippin'. Sweet. I don't hate that little thing right there. :) Do not hate at all.

Micky and I actually gave Ben an Oh Noz! shirt to wear in Dallas... he was going to wear it on stage... but... then he got high. (Or something.)

This was at our last performance... February 1st we went on right before Mechanical People at the show... Ben introduced us before the show and then after the performance (which was rocky in places due to the amount of Jameson we ingested) he hopped up on stage and said "give it up for The Oh Noz!" ...we definitely loved that. :)

I think I have now missed TWO days of blogging... but... at least I am still making it over to this blog more often than I was before. See... I'm trying.

I missed the other day because I was away from my computer all day again... I missed yesterday because I was stalking the mailman.

I have been not-so-patiently awaiting the mailman to bring my hCG drops so that I could finally start my new diet. They finally came yesterday about 2 or so and after taking them and then eating on them for the first time I got very tired and lethargic, which I believe is actually the opposite of what is supposed to happen on them... so... I hope that I don't have a backwards reaction to this crap as well. (Like Red Bull makes me tired.)

I actually started a new blog just for this "diet"... I will give you all the web address at the end of the 30 days. (Actually, I will need to go longer than 30 days in order to lose all the weight that I'm aiming for... this first cycle I'm going 43 days, which is the most that you're allowed to do... then I have to wait 6 weeks and then I can start another 43 days... we'll see how it all goes down.)

I'm pretty excited for this... those who have read my blog for a long time (or who have gone back in my blog to read old entries) know how excited I get to start new things. I get very motivated. Of course, when things don't show me the progress that I want or need I get very discouraged... I am going to try to push through that this time. I definitely have focus for this one. I see the goal that I want to obtain and now I'll try my hardest to reach it.

I had some very vivid and disturbing dreams last night. I'm a lucid dreamer, for the newbies who read this... and at times my dreams are almost too real and too much to take. Of course, there are times when that is a plus... when I'm being kissed or held I can actually taste the persons lips; I can actually feel their arms around me. That doesn't suck. :)

Last night was somewhere between evil and heaven.

I was in a hotel and every time I turned on the water and looked away blood rushed out onto my hands... the people around me could see the blood come from the faucet, but by the time that I would turn around to see it, it would go back to water. There were a few other little incidents that were scary like that... seeing things... feeling things that weren't there... I can't remember them all the way now that I've been up for a few hours... but... yeah.

Picture of the Day:

(PS... that kissing/holding thing happened in my dream last night... it got me through the grossness of touching blood.)

When I Grow Up...

Second blog for the day. I may as well do it if the urge strikes me, right? (That's what she said.)

I can't remember all the things that I wanted to be when I was a kid. I can't remember my dreams of wanting to be a flight attendant, teacher or a princess.

I remember in kindergarten that choir was mandatory and I was the only girl in class that looked forward to it. I remember hearing Whitney Houston's Bodygaurd soundtrack and I remember singing right into the speaker, emulating her... aching to do that... sing.

I didn't realize that it could actually be a career -- that you could potentially make your living off of singing. But from then on all I ever wanted to do was sing.

Around the time I was seven or so I started modeling. As I've mentioned before, my mother is a photographer and so it was a simple transition/decision.

Of course, as I've mentioned before on other blogs and mediums, I wish that when I was that age that someone would have encouraged a healthy lifestyle for me. I wish that they would have told me just because I was the tallest girl in the class didn't mean that I was fat. Everyone in school called me fat... and thus, I became what it was that they saw of me.

If I could have made it through my teenage years without being fat then I could have continued with a successful modeling career... but... everything happens for a reason, right?

Now... I'm behind the camera versus in front of it.

Photography wasn't one of the things that I dreamed of doing when I was a child... but I suppose we rarely get our dreams. I did however, have a short lived music career and now I'm happy to be in a band with my best friend Micky called The Oh Noz!, it makes me so happy to be getting musically creative again. They say that a photo is worth a thousand words, but I think where you can't get something across in photography you can get across in music and vice versa.

What was it that you wanted to be as a child? What stopped you? Why aren't you going for your dreams now?

Las Vegas Airport Blog

*LOUD NOISES!*

I have to start out my blog with a heavy sigh -- this morning Willow's flight from Charlotte got cancelled. So [yet again] she's going to miss out on going to Vegas. :( I am so super sad about this. It's just terrible.

While we have only had the trip to Vegas planned as long as the boys have (you know, a whole two weeks...) I love seeing Willow and I know how much she loves seeing the boys. This will actually be the first Monkeys show that I'll be seeing without her. *starts to sob...* I hate that. I never ever ever want to see another one without her. Ever again.

I hate planes.

I mean, I love planes - they get me places... Maybe I should hate North Carolina. Yep. Going to hate NC. I already hate it - it's too far away.

Good part of the day? I accidentally left my lighter from Tulsa in my purse - it didn't get confiscated. #unexpectedwin

I'm tired. Had a dream about the Monkeys last night -- you know Mitch Hedberg once said:

I hate dreaming because when you want to sleep, you want to sleep. Dreaming is work. Next thing you know, I have to build a go-cart with my ex-landlord.

I feel the exact same way at times -- on one hand, I love dreaming; it's like an extracurricular activity for me. On the other hand, sometimes my dreams can be exhausting.

A lady just sat next to me who sprayed a whole bottle of perfume on her. Fuck her life.

Pic of the Day:

Just a few more hours. :) I'm going to take some new open shutter pictures with my new camera, will post if they're worth it. I seriously don't know how it can get much better than this, however... I love it.

xoxox

Dude. Sweet.

"If you're gonna clean the knives,

For whatever reason,

Don't be overly displeased,

When you see that you're bleeding..."

This morning I woke up to a strange dream, but no worries... no one died this time! I dreamt that I was with my Dad and step mom and had taken a Xanax... except the Xanax didn't have the usual affect on me like it usually did - in my dream it made me seem drunk. *shrugs*

So then I had to come up with a rap for a school thing... (why I was in school I'll never have a clue...) and I woke up with the first two or three lines to the rap in my head. I contemplated on letting them fade or writing them down and I decided to write them down... then I finished the rap.

It's really lame. You wanna hear it? (The answer is yes.)

I think I'll write a little about bananas,

That shit has to absolutely be the baddest,

Play on my 64" - I like Madden,

But when the boys come home,

Put on some Scooby Doo,

I scooby-dooby-doo-wop be like, rappin',

And here nobody thought I'd make it happen,

I got a tighter rap than Nick Cannon,

and I can kick your ass, I be like Batman

It's really cute when I spit that shit. Yo.

This morning [after my rap] I tortured myself... I can't say exactly what I did, but I was looking at photos that were actually restricted and I shouldn't have been looking at them. I shouldn't have been looking at them (not only because they're restricted and I found the link by accident) but because it pains me.

I tend to do that to myself. I have done it from 2000 all the way up till now. This specific torture seems to be worse because my heart is actually in it. This specific torture hurts because I actually have opportunities that I didn't have when I was torturing myself back in 2000...

I'm getting too cryptic and I'm getting lost. Sorry. I guess I just wanted to talk about it, even if I can't say anything really about it.

Did you ever have an idea and you thought it was very original only to find out that someone had done the same thing once before? I mean, I'm sure this happens to everyone, right? That was kinda the low of my morning...

Yesterday I watched and tweeted about the Dark Knight. Makes me miss Chicago... Heh. 25.

Later last night I watched Twilight while on the phone with Genn... :) It was soo adorable and fun!! I think that we should do it again sometime.

Done for today. I'll try and blog more... sorry I've been MIA.

Pic of tha Day Jackson:

*sigh*

That guitar is so pretty. I'm glad I got to see her in person... Jay with a slide on? Anyone else here think that's just the sexiest damn thing in the entire universe? No? Just me then.

Hole In My Sail

"I can't breathe in,

I can't breathe out,

Pins and needles on my neck,

Cuz of all the things you said,

They all came true..."

For the third night in a row I've had a nightmare. For the third morning in a row, I've woken up after witnessing someone in my dream die.

The first night, the roller coaster stopped while we were upside down and the harness came undone and I watched them hold onto the harness and slowly slip off - not being able to hold on any longer.

The second night, they were stabbed, cut and basically murdered and I was basically evil and didn't call 911 until it was entirely too late. Graphic.

Last night was a little backwards. I knew they were dead before I saw them die, but it still ended with them dying. They were riding under a small plane with their friends and the plane landed too hard, all their friends got out, but they staggered out last, coughing blood and dying.

I'm not sure what's up with my dreams or why I'm dreaming about all these deaths so many nights in a row.

Someone wanna take a stab at interpreting my dream?

Pic of the Day:

Even when Jennifer saw this pic of Jacks (she's not a Jackson fan, she thinks he's a great actor but doesn't see why he makes me swoon) she said "awwww!" :) I call it his happy dance.

xoxox