Blatantly Honest: My Weight

Thomas Jefferson said, "Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today." I think at one point, we all regret never listing to this wonderful piece of advice. For me, it's been the last decade.

It's no secret that my weight has been a constant issue with me for almost as long as I can remember. I was a thin child (in hindsight), but I was made fun of for being "fat", probably because I was taller than the rest of the children in my class.

I participated in sports (gymnastics, swimming competitions, roller skating, biking, running) and I was constantly outside every day growing up. Yet, I was called "fat" by my peers. I had issues with food starting at a young age, as well. (To which, I cannot discuss my childhood food issues in a public venue such as this, but I will discuss my latter issues.)

If you call someone 'stupid' long enough, they will believe it. I became fat because I believed I already was. Children are hateful and cruel.

I've blocked out a good portion of my life, but I can recall the first time that I ever starved myself.

I was 13 and now living in Kansas City with my mother. I had just been clinically diagnosed with ADHD and depression and I was the biggest girl in my dance class. I don't remember how, but from 5th grade in the small town of Wamego, Kansas to 6th grade in the big city of Kansas City - I gained weight. I don't know how much weight, I don't even properly recall sizes, but I got big. (I was a size 13 in 6th grade, that much I do recall - but I don't know what I was in 5th grade.)

I put Post-It notes on all the food that I wanted to eat to remind myself not to eat it. My mother told me that starving myself wouldn't make me lose weight and that I needed to eat healthy foods.

I also recall that one time I was riding my bike around the lake where I lived when a boy shouted out, "exercise won't help!" ...I told my mother of this and she gently corrected me, "exercise WILL help."

Irony is something that I've always been a fan of. I get tickled when it happens to me in every day life... though, it's not as funny, though still ironic that at 13 years old and a size 13 I was trying to lose weight because I was perceived to be "heavy". Now, here I am 26 years old and I would chop off my left leg if I thought it would help me fit into a size 13.

Ironic.

It's funny how you never see something clearly until you look back at it from a distance.

This photo was taken freshman year of high school (1999) in October right before the homecoming dance. I was so self conscious. Here I thought I would look like a cow compared to my beautiful friend sitting next to me, and in hindsight I realize that I was, in fact, smaller than her. This was a size 12 and I was 5'5. I weighed just under 200lbs.

Just a few months later I met who would be my best friend in the entire world, Jennifer.

This photo was taken February 1, 2000 -- just 5 months after the previous photo. Still 5'5, I now weighed exactly 200lbs and I was about a size 14.

When friends would ask me how much I weighed I would lie and tell them 160. They believed me.

November 24, 2000. 5'6. Weight aprox 210. Size 15. (Yes, those are pleather pants. This was also the first trip that started my love and need for travel; Las Vegas.)

Late July 2002. Age 17. 5'7. Weight 220lbs. Size 20.

2002 is when it all started to get very serious. I went through many life changing events that year. I became very depressed. I started to self-harm. I fought with myself constantly. Binging. Binging. Fasting. Binging. Purging. Fasting. This was the year that the self-destruction began.

2003 was the first year that I lived alone... I was 18 and partying every night of the week. When I look back at that year, I'm honestly surprised that I made it out alive.

2004 is when the self-harming and under-eating were at their peak. I was working for Kansas City's biggest radio station and most popular jock - I was under constant pressure and I was unraveling.

There are not many photos from 2003-2006. It was a very, very dark time for me. I hit my highest weight of 310 in 2005. I was the epitome of spiraling out of control... no one could save me, or even wanted to. I don't think anyone truly knew that there was a problem... and if they did... they didn't want to help.

6 months vegetarian/under-eating regularly with frequent binges. Self-harming under pressure. Self-medicating. May 21, 2007. Weight 290. Size 24.

2007 was hell. I was flown out to Los Angeles to record my first "pop" album from the record label in Kansas City that I was signed to. The short story: the producer was a fucked up individual. I ended up with nothing to show from the trip but a scar on my arm to remind me never to trust again. And also, to never sign to another record label.

October, 2008. Height 5'8, 285lbs, size 22.

My life started to turn around for the better in fall of 2008. Though I was nowhere near my goal weight, I finally got the binging and purging under control, the self-medicating and the self-harming was down to a minimum and I was just really getting into my photography.

The next couple years I went through a bit of a coma. I didn't really binge or purge... I didn't really fast or count calories... I just sort of maintained sub consciously. I was too busy thinking about other things (photography, 100 Monkeys, travel, etc) to really put hardcore effort into losing weight. Sure, it's something that is on my mind each day of my life, but I didn't not lose or gain a substantial amount from 2008-2010 to really make note of it.

Early January 2011, 5'8, 265lbs, size 20.

This photo was taken the last day of the winter tour with 100 Monkeys. 8 shows in 8 days and I lost 15lbs.

I'm now into my weight loss and I've lost a total thus far of 19lbs since leaving Las Vegas on September 2nd. I'm attempting to document the process (which shouldn't be hard since I'm a photographer... hah), and I'll be happy to share the photos once I pass that phase of it and move onto the next.

I have a weight loss goal set for myself to meet each week - thus far I am TWO full pounds ahead of schedule as today was my first "weigh in". :)

I only hope that I can keep this up and meet my ultimate goal weight. (Do not ask - I will not share as of right now.)

I am not ashamed of my weight or sharing these bits of information with you. I am ashamed of how I perceive my body and I am ashamed of how it makes me feel about myself. I am ashamed that I was a child model and that I let myself get to this point. I am ashamed that I had no self control.

I know that each girl (and more guys than will admit) have problems with their weight. Some people handle it the healthy way by cutting out 500 calories and walking a mile each night. Some people handle it by what the disorders in their head tell them to do. We cannot change each other or the way that others think. We cannot change what others think of us and the way that we choose to do things. We can, however, change how others see us.

If you're happy with yourself and your weight just the way you are - then own it and be proud of it, baby! If you want to lose 5lbs or even 100... it all starts with a single step and knowing that you're not alone...

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today...

What's your weight story?

Where I Was On 9.11.2001

In 2001 I spent a lot of my time skipping school. I would only attend two, or maybe three days a week max. By this point I had just given up caring. There were times that I would come to school just for choir and then leave as soon as the class was over.

We had a rotating schedule and so we only had each class every other day... (hence why I would attend two or three days since that's how often I would have choir and my creative writing class...)

September 11th, 2001 was a day that I had all the classes that I hated. I had math, history, science and the only redeeming class was acting on that day... however, the teacher was a slacker and so it basically turned into a study/naptime hour.

I awoke that morning earlier than I usually did and with more energy. I lay in bed wide awake as I pondered getting out and going to school or not. My mind told me that I should stay home... but my body was wide awake and I had nothing to do that day... so I got dressed and went to school... granted, I was late, (I was supposed to be in homeroom by 750a or so) but I was there.

I got to homeroom class about 849a, just as people were jumping to their deaths in Tower 1. I walked into class and the tv was on (muted, as always...) and all the students were chattering amongst themselves. I went and sat at my table when a fellow student told me what had happened.

At this point, no one in my class (or the world outside of the people on that flight) realized that this was a terrorist act. We watched CNN every morning (muted) and all we thought that some fool drove his plane into the World Trade Center on accident or by technical malfunction.

At 900 I was due to be at my first real class of the day. Math.

When I got the class I asked the teacher to put on CNN and she asked me why... (no one in her class had been watching earlier...) I said, "because a plane hit the World Trade Center." She put the tv on and I sat in my seat (in the front row) and I didn't take my eyes off the screen.

She was just getting ready to start class when I watched the live feed on CNN as the second plane hit the South Tower at 903a. I gasped and put my hand over my mouth. She asked me what happened, "another plane just hit the other tower!" "I think that they're just replaying it, sweetie." She said and turned to the tv to hear the astonished newscasters describe what had just been seen. "Oh my god, you're right." She replied.

All we did that day was watch the news. I did not know anyone personally involved. I did not know anyone lost. I had never been to New York yet. I didn't know what to think or feel, honestly.

When I got home from school that day, I turned on the news again. My daddy called me when he got home from work... we didn't know what to say to each other, but I remember he asked me if I was okay. "Yeah, I'm fine... this is just crazy."

Jennifer was very upset by the events and by the amount of people that lost their lives.

I don't think I cried. I think I was shocked... appalled that this could happen to our country. However, now I am proud... I'm proud that we could all come together and love each other harder than ever before. I'm proud that TSA made more hoops for you to jump through to get onto an aircraft. I'm proud that people still believe in this event that changed our country ten years ago.

What's your story? Where were you? Did you know anyone? Lose anyone? Were you in New York? Tell me what happened with YOU.

A Long Deserved Ketchup

The past four weeks I have been on the road.

I saw and went through so many things on this tour. I attended literally half of this tour, which in just half of those dates, that's still longer than any other tour that they or I have ever done before... so I can't imagine them working each day in and day out double what I have done.

I am so very proud of them. My heart is completely full.

So much has happened... so much changed (for the better and the worse) on this tour... but I wouldn't have changed any of it. It panned out perfectly in the end.

I caught the first two shows of the tour back in June up in Cincinnati and Indianapolis. My photos from the Indianapolis shows are now present as the 100 Monkeys photo on their official Wikipedia page and on Jackson's official Wikipedia page. *pause for insanity* ...that's insane, right?

From there I went back to Houston and enjoyed my final time with Liz, whom I had been staying with since the beginning of the year. When I picked up the tour again, I wouldn't be coming back.

Mid-July I went down to Florida to pick up the tour again... Tampa, Orlando, Ft. Lauderdale with a friend - then I met Jennifer up again in Birmingham, New Orleans (where I got Bourbon faced on Shit street... never again... ugh.), Houston, Dallas (where I left the Roaddog with my step mom, who still has her...), Austin (where it was 1000 degrees in the shade...), Tulsa, St. Louis, Kansas City...

I paused in Kansas City and missed the next three shows (from what I heard I didn't miss a whole lot...) so I could spend some time with my Mama... from KC I caught the next ones in Seattle, Spokane, Portland (best run yet), San Francisco (which I attended entirely alone), LA (I had a day off here that I spent alone, as well. It was interesting... this is also where Jennifer re-joined the tour), Las Vegas (another 1000 degree day in the shade...), Anaheim and then we all ended the tour in San Diego.

Of course there were snags here and there - that happens with life and of course that's going to happen when you're traveling and when you're working... but for the most part it was a very positive experience. I don't hold any bad memories with anything. (Except for perhaps NOLA... which was my own damn fault...)

I met some amazing people out this time! So many wonderful people brought me little tokens and things, which was completely amazing and so appreciated! I got several memory cards from people, Golden Flake chips, balloon animals and a DVD, a Best Buy gift card, some people bought me drinks and I got an obscene amount of HUGS!!!! <3 I am so grateful for each of you that took the time to come and say hello, talk to me and give me hugs and smiles. Y'all made it so amazing.

Unfortunately I don't have photos ready to offer up to y'all. I have a few... but I managed to fill up each of my memory cards AND my computer while on the road... so I can't do much until I can afford an external hard drive here in a couple weeks or so. (I'm putting that Best Buy gift card towards it!)

The Florida shows were pretty awesome... I have some great memories from Orlando and I finally got to see that ocean in person. I never had before...

Birmingham is always a good time - that's where a fan brought me an obscene amount of Golden Flake chips and a tour survival kit! <3 ...I have been to the past two shows that 100 Monkeys played at the Workplay theatre and so there was no way that I was going to miss them there this time around. It was so much fun...

I was so happy to get back to Kansas City. I know that I said I was so anxious to leave that town - but after being gone from it for a YEAR I was so happy to see my mother and those streets again. I introduced my mama to the band and she shot the show from the front row with me...

Check out my Mama's photos of 100 Monkeys here! She really enjoyed the show and the guys!

The Pacific Northwest was amazing. I caught up with my friend Kenzie there who lives in Portland and she was so hospitable!! <3 We had a blast in Seattle... it was the first time that I actually explored a city on my day off. We went to the first Starbucks, Pike's Market, the Space Needle and Viretta (Kurt Cobain) park.

For anyone who knows me a tad, knows that I love Nirvana and Kurt Cobain... it was completely emotional and wonderful. I was so moved by it and I felt entirely blessed that I was able to experience it.

The end of the tour was insane... I didn't cry as much as I had imagined, so many laughs were had and a multitude of memories were made. I'll never forget this...

Something that I have taken away from each show/most memorable about the city:

Cincinnati: "You shut up."
Indianapolis: Telling so many people about Spencer Bell.
Tampa: Seeing Bleeding Horse Express for the first time.
Orlando: The tallest stage I have ever encountered.
Ft. Lauderdale: Partying with Cassandra.
Birmingham: "You dance!"
NOLA: "It's so hot..."
Houston: Handcuffs. :)
Dallas: Getting the best email of my life.
Austin: Chain smoking in 110 degree weather.
Tulsa: You see... what had happened was...
St. Louis: Homeless people with records; 40 oz beers; spinning
Kansas City: Introducing my mama to the band!
Seattle: Seeing Kurt Cobain park. <3
Spokane: Being the only one in the photo pit. (That also happened in NOLA & Texas.)
Portland: Dancing harder than I ever have before at a 100 Monkeys show!!
San Francisco: Conversations about death and pants.
LA: BALLOONS!
Las Vegas: Watching the boys zipline across Fremont.
Anaheim: Some people have your back and some want to stab it.
San Diego: Thoroughly getting to say goodbye. <3

Where did I leave that Delorean? I'm ready to do it all over again.

Review of @100MonkeysMusic #liquidzoo Album

I just finished listening to the album start to finish... while, I got it the other day, I skipped around listening to tracks and parts of tracks here and there...

I know that my opinion means absolutely nothing, but I did want to share my thoughts with those who care to hear them.

The album was well worth the wait. I first heard from Jackson back at SBL August last year that they were recording new stuff... I did not know that it would take this long for them to get the album out, but believe me... it was worth it. :)

I am so entirely proud of them for this album. I know that they (and everyone involved) worked their asses off to get it out and to make it the best possible record they could. It definitely shows.

Now, I'm not just a blind follower - I did have a couple complaints about certain things... which, you can read about if you care to in the dissection of each track below. (Not so much "complaints" as "opinions"... remember that... these are my OPINIONS!!)

Or... you can just take my word for it that it's amazing and well worth the wait and your money. Check out where 100 Monkeys are going on their tour! Starts Tuesday! Album officially drops same day! <3

www.100MonkeysMusic.com

Album: 4/5 stars
Favorite *NEW* song: Time
Favorite *finally recorded* song: Prayer
Surprise favorite song: Devil Man


The Fair
My history with the song: Has never been my favorite, but it's definitely grown on me. I always enjoy the bass line and shouting "I'm a winner, I'm a winner, I'm a winnahhhh!"
Favorite lyric: *see above*
Standout instrument: Jerad's guitar solo.

As the first track on the album, I believe that it's a great way to kick off the record. As I mentioned, it hasn't always been one of my favorite songs... in fact, the two times they have played Birmingham, I have used this song as my bathroom break, if that's any indication... always making it back before Jerad's guitar solo...

On the album, I really appreciate the fact that it's very true to how you'll hear it live. I've grown accustomed to hearing the song this way and I am not a fan of change...


The Sound
My history with the song: None - brand new song.
Favorite lyric: "To my guitar of which I sing; I will give my diamond ring, if only this old piece of wood, would love me like a woman..."
Standout instrument: Saxaphone

Probably the most anticipated song on the new album... because of that, I listened to this song first before any others. I do not see the point of the rap in the middle of it, but I must admit, it's pretty freaking amazing. Who can argue with a reggae style song with a white boy rap in the middle of it?!! I surely can't.

I definitely love the chill of this song and am instantly in love with the tone of Jackson's voice on this track. Absolutely perfect. I have no complaints about this song...

And... ThWilla FTW. :)

Shy Water
My history with the song: Another one that was never my favorite, but I never avoided it. It's always a nice place to catch your breath in the show.
Favorite lyric: "If there's a moral here that's to be learned, it's not to let a good thing pass you by..."
Standout instrument: Bass/mandolin.

I know there are some very avid Shy Water fans out there who were desperate in getting this track on the album... I hope they are all sufficiently happy with this result! I am very happy with the recorded version of Shy Water... seeing as how I am pretty ambivalent on the song live, I feel like that in itself should be a huge compliment.

I'm really more anxious to hear what the diehard lovers of this song feel about it... YOUR thoughts?

Time
My history with the song: None, but it was talked up to me by a couple people.
Favorite lyric: "Get a knife; cut it out, I wanna hear them sing!"
Standout instrument: Check out the flute solo!!

This was the song I was most looking forward to hearing and as the album approached I was scared that it would not live up to the months and months of anticipation that I had placed on it... Fortunately... it was everything and more that I had hoped for!

This is the kind of song that I dreamed of hearing from 100 Monkeys on this album... something new, something with the amazing drums behind it... pressing guitar and then the flute solo... Jackson's voice on the track is textured; I can FEEL his voice.

My only complaint about the song is that it's not long enough. I could listen to 8 minutes of that. ;)

Wandering Mind
My history with the song: One of my absolute favorite songs live.
Favorite lyric: "You were so damn perfect; it was hard to understand..."
Standout instrument: Keyboard

I'm not fond of this song on the album. Something about the filter over Johnson's voice that blows my speakers out a little bit... This is a song that I love to just let go with and when I see it live I SCREAM every word like I mean it... thus, I really wish that I could blast it in my car or at my stereo at home without feeling like my speakers are going to rip. :-/

Just don't take it out of the set lizt and we'll be golden.

Prayer
My history with the song: It's not played live that much, though it's always a really big treat to hear!
Favorite lyric: "Suaviter et Fortiter my family prayer; I hope to see you there on the other side..."
Standout instrument: The drums...

Out of my nearly fifty 100 Monkeys shows that I've attended I've probably only seen Prayer performed six times or so... One of those times left a lasting impression on me as they performed it in Nashville at the NewCon event in 2009... it was the first time that I saw Jackson perform with 100 Monkeys and I remember feeling like there was too much talent, too much passion, too much energy in that body of his. I listened to the rip of Prayer from NewCon for months and months after that.

I had actually forgotten that Prayer was supposed to be on Liquid Zoo, in all honestly... but I am pleased to say that it exceeds what I expected of it. I actually don't have the words in my vocabulary to explain how much I love this track... It's wow, for me... it rivals that first performance that I saw of it... which, is amazing.

Black Diamond
My history with the song: I was at the first performance of this song... a good one to hear live; love the energy it embodies.
Favorite lyric: "Just don't talk..."
Standout instrument: The guitar intro and solo... Ben's messy keyboard skills. <3

The first time that I listened to this song on the album I was unsure on if I would like it or not... I wasn't sure about how deep Jackson's voice is in the beginning or the backup singers... and while I'm still not so sure on those things, I will say that listening to it the whole way through again, I got very into it about half way through.

I definitely don't hate it... of course, I prefer everything live and in person, though. ;)

I think that this song was executed very well on the album...

Modern Times
My history with the song: None - brand new song
Favorite lyric: "Don't mind about the forethought cause no one really cares and you'll see as it comes to light as it does in life..."
Standout instrument: Keyboard.

Love this song... reminds me so much of each week that I spent in Baton Rouge. I really have no complaints about this song. I love the breakdown towards the end of the song. Very awesome. I really can't wait to see it live!

Made Of Gold
My history with the song: I've seen it performed live many times... I try to avoid it.
Favorite lyric: "He was one of the Lost, the first to be found..."
Standout instrument: Keyboard, of course.

Before you can take my opinion on this song... you have to know my history with it. Most people love and adore it - which, I think I understand and "get"... but at the same time... I don't. Please don't get me wrong... Jackson is an incredible poet... he's an incredible singer/songwriter... and yes, I love Spencer... but this song is just too close to his person.

I suppose I should love the fact that he's comfortable performing a part of his bare soul like that. For me, it's too much.

Anyhow... swiftly moving on... I did listen to the track in it's entirety and I can tell you that it's done very well... I really like it. I won't be listening to it much (if ever, at all...) but, I think it's actually so much better than hearing it live.

I hope that all of those who listen to the track and like it try and find the origin of it's birth by looking for and learning about Spencer Bell.

Invisible Monsters
My history with the song: First saw it performed in Tulsa in March 2010 (back then Jackson sang the vocals...) ... one of my favorites to see live.
Favorite lyric: "Call the number on the TV to see if I can be saved..."
Standout instrument: Drums.

While a lot of people were pulling for Shy Water to get put on an album, I was voting for this one. Invisible Monsters was a rare sight to see at a 100 Monkeys show for the longest, longest time... slowly it made it's way into the shows more frequently and I believe that's how it's popularity grew.

It was actually Scott who suggested that Uncle sing the song instead of Jackson... to which, works absolutely perfectly. I love that Jackson still sings the bridge though... that's one of my favorite parts of the song.

I think that I love this song so much because it reminds me so much of my own personal experiences.

It's a real treat to see it performed live and there's absolutely nothing that I want to complain about with the track. <3 I love it and I'm so happy that it made it to the album!!

Devil Man
My history with the song: Saw it almost every week that I was in Baton Rouge... love it.
Favorite lyric: "Give you all the money and the girls that you please: you'll spend eternity on your knees..."
Standout instrument: Ben's voice sounds like red velvet cupcakes.

I also didn't remember that this track was going to be on the album...

There's something about this recording and I can't put my finger on it... I love it entirely. It's definitely in my top three favorite tracks... it sounds perfect. I love it.

Life Moves Pretty Fast...

"You come over to say hello in the brightest of the lights, 
I'm so impressed, you look your best, without an ounce of trying, 
I make light of a picture, and you're leaving with your friends, 
And I've no doubt I'll never see you again... 
Cause you may deceive me... but you made me try to make believe in 
That there's something more, we can't ignore, but nothing we can do..." 

So much has happened. It's insane that at times I have nothing to share and nothing to say and then other times I feel so full of randomness to spread that I can barely keep track of it all.

First of all, and most importantly... I have completely hot pink hair now. Yes. Photos soon. Also, tomorrow is tattoo day. Number 8. :)

Also, I have dyed Jennifer's hair blue...

Taken with my new lens that I bought for the 100 Monkeys tour. 10 days until the first show and the new Liquid Zoo album! Excited doesn't begin to cover it.

If you want to hear a preview of the album this Sunday be sure to head over to www.fender.com/100Monkeys - also, you should head over there since two of my live photos of 100 Monkeys are posted on the Fender site!!!

This is a beyond exciting moment for me. While my photos gained a lot of exposure from the Las Vegas radio station Mix 94.1 back in May, this is a huge mention and the completion of a personal goal of mine. (See the photos posted by Mix 94.1 here)

Another big something for this week is that I was interviewed by Hell Yeah! 100 Monkeys. It was pretty cool... you can read that here.

Here's two new photos that I've taken with the new lens. :)

One last thing before I go -- I have a new book coming out this fall. It will be all photos shot on the road between June 28th (first date of 100 Monkeys tour...) and August 28th (the last day of the 100 Monkeys tour...). While I'm not going to all 40-some-odd dates, I am going to a fair chunk of them and I wanted to showcase a point of view that is rarely seen. The loose and working title is "A Van With A View"... though, that might change. We'll see... ;)

I can't believe I'm about to make my 2nd book! Insane. This one will be available through direct order and will ship a helluva lot faster than the last one.

Thanks for reading this ramble...

[Worthy Title About Nothing]

"Feeling better now that we're through, 
Feeling better cuz I'm over you, 
I learned my lesson; it left a scar,
Now I see how you really are..." 

I suppose there'a been a lot of changes happening to me lately... some I am not ready to admit... some I can't hold inside for a moment longer.

When you're six and you've got your favorite long sleeved winter shirt... you love it... you want to live in it... you never want to wash it and you want to wear it to school every day... when you're seven you go back to that shirt that you loved so much the previous year -- you still love it just as much -- you're super excited to put it on and this year it doesn't quite fit the same as it did last year. Though it's a little small and a tad uncomfortable - you're not ready to give it up yet... so you wear it. Another year passes and you're eight now... the shirt no longer fits and though it's hard and it hurts - you give it up.

I'm seven right now. I know what's coming... but for right now, I'd like to wear my slightly-uncomfortable shirt and pretend like it still fits.

I feel like I'm starting to outgrow a lot of things in my life. It's painful to watch.

I also feel like a lot of things are starting to outgrow *me*.

Yesterday I cleaned the bathroom - I maaay have used too much bleach. I got a swimming headache afterwards, but that wasn't the strangest thing... What was really weird is that I got insanely hyper. More so than I had been since I was a teenager. I couldn't calm down at all. It was a little strange. I didn't know what to do with all of my energy. Crazy.

I'm insanely bored.

...

I think I'm getting excited for the Monkey tour. I think. 19 days or something like that until I go to see them. I am completely unprepared. I have nothing planned and no tickets bought... I don't know what I'm going to wear or who I'm seeing where. I do have a couple photoshoots planned, so that makes me happy-time... but other than that, nothing is really settled... though... I am really looking forward to going back to Kansas City for the show there!!

Insane how excited I am for that. :) Very excited. I haven't seen KC or my people there since September when I left... I am forcing my mama to come to the show with me... it looks like it may be my only time with her while I'm there...

Also excited for the California leg of the tour... but that's something I'll talk about later and closer to all of this...

Bored.

Bored.

I'm a bore.

Happy Birthday @Jerad_Anderson! @100MonkeysMusic

HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY, JERAD!! 

Today on this most important of days, I wish for you a glass that is always full, a guitar always in hand, a constant buzz from your phone (how is that different from any other day?), and a perma-grin on your face.

Think of all the amazingness that you've accomplished in your thirty years on this planet. You've lived enough for three lifetimes, it would seem.

I am so fortunate to have you as a part of my life and so today I drink for you. (Just coffee now, but you know later I am shooting Jameson in your honor, dude.)

Have a fantastic birthday and make it one for the books, BFF!!!

Tons of love and high-fives today! EAT CAKE!!!

Happy birthday, rockstar! See you soonish.