One Amazing Year

I'm about to get sentimental on you...

One year ago today was the first time I ever met Jackson.

Now, for so many of my friends (including my best friend Jennifer) today marks the first time that they ever saw 100 Monkeys live. I had already seen 100 Monkeys twice in August, however, Jackson wasn't there for those shows -- thus, November 7, 2009 was the first time that I ever met Jackson and the first time that I ever saw 100 Monkeys as a full band.

My how far I've come in a year.

I just went back into my blog from a year ago to see what all I had said about Jackson and my first full 100 Monkeys experience and I actually used the same icon that I did a year ago... without trying. :) Funny, it just seemed so appropriate for today.

I tried (and failed) to meet Jay three times before I was actually successful, which... we all know, waiting for something makes it that much sweeter in the end. November 7, 2009 was a great day. I won't say it was the best day of my life - but at that moment it ranked pretty high on the list. I still hold it amongst the memories I love. It seems so long ago, in a sense... and yet, I at times can't believe that it's only been a year.

I really don't think there's any amount of words that can sum up how much it means to me. I only have a few that really hit it on the head:

Be careful what you wish for...

November 2009, Nashville

January 2010, Tulsa

March 2010, Des Moines

March 2010, STL

April 2010, Nashville

June 2010, Seattle

July 2010, Arizona

October 2010, Baton Rouge

Of course those aren't all the photos that I have with him -- I have to keep some things private and just for myself.

I can't and won't even begin to tell you how far I've/we've come in the last year. I suppose it is unfortunate that a year ago I could say and spill anything I wanted and it didn't matter because no one cared to listen and now, now I keep everything to myself... for many different reasons... but yeah. I don't mind though - it makes all of those moments and memories a hundred times more special. 

I will say this, however; I do not take one moment with him (or any of those boys, for that matter) for granted. I appreciate it and them more than I am sure they even know and more than you all could ever comprehend. 

I can't believe it's only been a year... another one of these "year" blogs will be coming at the end of the southern tour... so be prepared for that. It's already being written in my head. 

Thanks to the four of you who read this. :)

26/26

"Never dreamt of such sterile hands..."





26 days until my 26th birthday.

I love the countdown to my birthday. I am determined to make this one a good one... from December 1, 2009 all the way up until now... (and time is still passing...) this has been the best year of my life. Hands down. Without a doubt. Actually, I reckon it could have all started back in August 2009. :) December was really just a good kick off.

December 1, 2009 I bought Grape by 100 Monkeys for one of my birthday presents. Later that day I got my first Fender electric guitar. *happiness*

Of course, other than those two things it wasn't a very good birthday at all. I spent it all alone and no one really gave a shit that I was having a birthday. 25 is supposed to be better than that.

For 26 it's definitely going to be something a bit more enjoyable. I'm spending it with a select group of friends. I'm hoping that I get birthday phone calls even though everyone knows I'm not going to answer the phone... and on my actual birthday, the plan is a new tattoo.

Blah, blah, blah.

No one is listening.

xx

Divorce Amongst Friends

"Faced with the Dodo's conundrum, 

I felt like I could just fly, 

But nothing happened every time I tried..." 

Let's face it - not all friendships last. Unfortunately, friendships are not the same as relationships or marriages. You don't get alimony and there wasn't a prenup.

So usually you are left with nothing.

I feel bad for those with mutual friends, but in my last friendship snafu breakup, I gave the mutual friends to the other person. (I'm generous, what can I say...?)

You know when you file for a divorce you must cite a reason for the split. And both parties must sign the documents acknowledging and understanding what is happening...


The world is full of good people -- they're all good people. There are good people that do bad things, and there are good people that do good things. But there are no bad people. No one was born bad. People just make bad decisions in life.

And you know what? Sometimes if you let those people go... if you let them turn and walk out the door and you don't call back for them? That's the best decision that you can ever make. Because the people that want you to run after them... hold onto them... beg them to stay? Nah. You're not worth their time if they're not even going to try to put you in their life. Let them go. You deserve so much better, little dove.

This message brought to you by scissors. Like... kitchen shears.

Photo of the Day:

xx

This Time Around

"We'll frolic through the clover and pick dandelions
For each others moms..."




I've seen quite a few people use the wrong Spencer Bell lyric there for a while, so I thought I would put it as my Lyrics-Of-The-Day. The songs is called Dandelions and it's my favorite Spencer song. Very fitting song for today.

Take a listen to it and other Spencer songs over at his Memorial website.

I've been almost avoiding my blog... I didn't really mean to, but at times it's just very hard for me to speak about things - it gives them a sense of finality for me. I do the same thing when I get back from shows -- I always promise that I will blog about the experience, but lets face it... I somehow fall short on that promise.

"Life is a one way dirt road; there's only one way to go..." Spencer was right there. Of course, for right now, my car is pulled over to the side and I'm idling. I don't know why, but I can't seem to make progress.

Let me go back a little bit.

Kentucky didn't work out. It wasn't my doing or even not my wanting it to happen -- but you cannot force something like that upon other people. The long and short of it is that Jennifer and I moved to Tuscaloosa, Alabama.

We have been loving it here. It's quite wonderful. While I don't think that anything can ever feel like home to me -- the traveler in me is just way too deep -- I do feel happy here, and comfortable. It's October and we've still got the AC on! The other day it was 95 degrees at 5p in the evening. This place rocks.

A few have asked me/us if we're going to the Justin Timberlake Shriners Hospitals For Children Open this year... the answer is no. We had "plans" to go to all five years of the tournament and it really does hurt that I can't be there this year. Mainly for one reason: Rachel. This year will be Rachel's 21st birthday and I had promised her that I would be in Vegas to celebrate it with her. I ache that I had to break that promise.

It's just not feasible after moving to Kentucky and having to turn around 10 days later and move again to Alabama. That was an entire month of paychecks missed, work missed, money spent on gas + moving... it really ate up into the plans.

I would say next year - but honestly, I am not in the right place to make any more promises. Especially ones that are an entire year away.

Of course not just Rachel wants me out there this year... I've been getting some threats on an old blog post of mine from someone who apparently wants to either intimidate me or harm me whilst out in Vegas because they're going this year.

Now... in this blog I talked about all the horrible things that had been happening to me and how I believed them to be my karma coming back to bite me in the ass because I don't believe that anyone is above getting what they deserve. I said how I was making positive changes in my life to not try and burn those bridges anymore and I can honestly say over the last year that I have been active in trying to be a better person.

Over the last year I have made efforts to contact those people who I have hurt and apologize -- some I have just left alone because it's better to not pick at a scab, but all of the people that I have contacted have accepted my apology. That doesn't make us friends, now... but it means that we harbor no ill will towards each other and we've moved past it. (As I'm talking please know this list isn't long... *maybe* 7-9 people... and only about 3 haven't been contacted because it would be better to just... not.)

Of course I can only assume that these threats are coming from one of the three people I haven't contacted in the last year... I have however now extended the opportunity for me to apologize to them. If they decide to take it is their choice.

People are mean and cruel. This I know too well. The things that I have done to these people are not horrible unforgiving acts. I have not harmed them physically, I have not done anything to them that was unforgivable. But I have hurt them in some way or another. I am a big enough person to admit this. I am a big enough person to apologize for these things. I have received my karma and my fate from these actions. I have taken the steps to better my life.

I only wish they would do the same.

Threatening people isn't nice. (Of course, I'm not naive enough to believe or think that all people are nice.) But they cannot carry out karma as if it was wrath and make it their own personal vendetta. They are not the universe. They are not a god. They should leave that up to powers that are stronger than they are.

I feel horribly. I feel horrible that someone is still aching about something that was done over one year ago. To think that I could hurt someone that badly makes me feel worse than they could ever know. They are harboring a kind of hate in their heart that can only eat them alive and consume them... that's completely unfortunate and I would never wish that upon anyone. I truly would like to apologize for those actions. The things we do when we are young are silly and immature and often times egged on by peers. I now have better peers. I now am older and wiser and I finally know what I want out of this life.

Swiftly moving on... I will try to end on a high note.

Monkeys released their dates for the southern US tour. I've got them on the books to see them 9x in December. That's a whole lot of Monkey. (and literally every show the boys are playing in December... my god.)

I love my job.

Amidst those is this one that you check out... Green Bay, WI... a PRIVATE show. :)

Also, their New Years Eve bash. It's really quite fitting... I have literally spent this entire year with these boys... I definitely should end it with them... and you know what they say... how you spend your New Years Eve is how you'll spend the next year. So I'm going to be the only place that I would want to be on that evening -- with my boys.

Birthday Wish List

I haven't made one of these since I was about nine.

When I was nine my birthday wish list went a little differently. This list seems far more practical than I am used to.

People keep asking me what I would like for my birthday, which makes me so, so happy at the thought that I may receive presents! (I love presents so very much... and you will love watching me open them. Swear.)

I am having a massive birthday party this year (sort of keeps with the theme of the past year for me, actually...) and since so many people are having to travel in to be there, I really didn't expect any gifts and I haven't gotten birthday presents in such a long time. Not that I would ever turn away a present...

The link to my birthday party event page, it's open -- RSVP! http://bit.ly/cCzWys

BIRTHDAY WISH LIST:

*Memory cards. (San Disk, preferred.)
*Filters for my lens. Many cool effects out there - you can find them on B & H Photo's website. (They're cheaper than you think...)
*Spencer Bell necklace from 100 Monkeys Sweden. (I'm Lost or There Is No Plan B.)
*Tambourine (Full size.) I will not turn away any musical instrument.
*Egg shakers
*Gift cards: Best Buy, Starbucks, Victoria's Secret, Sephora, Target, iTunes, gas stations/airlines.
*A new tattoo...? :)
*Alcohol: Jack Daniels or a case of beer will earn you a kiss.
*Hats. Size medium/large.
*Anything unique, handmade or personalized... something odd or random that made you think of me. (Antique/old fashioned mirrors, jewelry boxes and things always intrigue me.)
*Makeup. :) I love makeup.
*Anything Batman.

I am probably the easiest person to shop for. :)

--I may randomly add to this list.--

Jodie Platz vs The World

"If you're from the midwest and 
you think you wanna give the world your best shot
don't come to New York, 
it makes you poor, it kills your soul, 
go to a small town, hold your ground..."

Spencer Bell was right there... hold your ground.

This week I moved from the big city of Kansas City to the tiny, itsy bitsy town of Dawson Springs, Kentucky.

For contrast; Kansas City is the largest city in Missouri with a population of 475,830. Dawson Springs? 2,980.

Where?! I have seen like, four people since I got here!

Another contrast will tell you that the small town that I grew up in, Wamego, Kansas, has a population of 4,246... so... then there's that.

This place is tiny.

The point of this blog is because, if I am being honest here, I am in over my head and am trying to adjust to the culture shock.

While my new "home" is just 8 hours southeast of Kansas City, it's like another world. I was expressing this to my Mama on the phone yesterday and after all that I told her she gave me a few things to think about.

Whereas I have always thought that I have impeccable manners, apparently, my manners don't translate well here in the south. I was raised with the "proper" table manners and I am a stickler on using them. Please, thank you, no thank you, table on the lap, don't take the last of anything, don't chew with your mouth open, don't talk with your mouth full, don't take seconds before anyone else has, etc...

Along with those table manners comes; don't take something that isn't yours without asking.

When in someone's home (which, we stayed with Willow's parents until our place had electricity - for nearly a week) I have never been comfortable. When someone says, "make yourself at home," I find that just the polite thing to say -- that doesn't mean that I will ever just go to your fridge and grab a glass of water or some food. I just can't. So... I have offended many people since I have been in Kentucky because their idea of manners and my idea of manners don't match up.

This brings me to "polite/impolite", "respectful/disrespectful" as my Mama put it.

She made an excellent point. What I may see as polite, someone else is offended by. When I feel like I am being respectful, they're insulted.

Somehow, in those 8 hours from "home" -- everything changed. (I suppose that would be "this side" of the Mississippi... No?)

While I cannot fathom just walking into someone's kitchen and grabbing a drink (I won't even do that in Jennifer's parents house and I have almost known her/them 11 years...) when someone here says, "make yourself at home", they genuinely want you to feel at HOME. Thus, I have offended THEM because of my manners. I do not feel at home, so they feel as if they have failed.

Wow.

My Mama says that I need to change my views and try to fit in... however... when you have been the same way for 25... nearly 26 years... how on earth can you change? I will NEVER feel comfortable just walking into someone else's kitchen...

And... that brings me to...

If someone were in my new home and they got up from my couch and went to get themselves a drink from my fridge or something to eat -- I would be highly offended and I would feel like a terrible hostess... so then there's that!

Suggestions?

Jodie

Ultimate Gratitude

"Now that you've figured it out, don't you miss the puzzlement? 
Befuddled as you were, the answers to your questions weren't
Nearly as obscure as you thought they would be, 
And now you're bored because the wonderment's gone 
And you're starting to forget what you were wondering about all along, 
Well, well, well, well, well... Regardless..."

I'm not sure that I will be able to slap all this together with my words. Honestly the best way I may have to express what I am feeling right now is to put my hand to my heart and just let the tears fall.

One year ago I attended my first Spencer Bell Legacy concert (which also happened to be my first 100 Monkeys concert...) and at that concert I literally only knew Willow - the person I came with. I knew Spencer, but not as well as I do now, I knew *OF* 100 Monkeys and knew some of their songs (most of which they didn't sing) and [besides The Stevedores] had never heard of any of the other bands.

Fast forward one year later (and 28 Monkey shows later) -- my third SBL and I am entrusted with the responsibility of being the official photographer for the event, I have the privilege to call some of these bands/band members friends of mine and I now know every word to nearly every song that all the bands sing.

Gratitude doesn't begin to cover it.

This has easily been the best year of my life (as I have said that many times before). And while you may think it's still only September, it really is nearing an end. I am tying up the loose ends and making birthday plans, I am recounting and reliving all the fabulous moments from the year and most recently, this weekend.

Now, as you know if you're an "avid reader", I don't dish on the moments that happen outside of public view - but I will say that even with inebriation, there's no way I can forget them.

Somehow I went from being the unknown girl last year, on the outside of all the inside jokes - to getting stopped all night Friday and all day Saturday so that people could introduce themselves to me. Insane.

Friday night I sang/helped sing three Spencer songs on the Callahan's stage. (Go To Hell, Twenty To One and Acapella Gumdrop) I had 5 photos raffled off for the fund (a photo of each member of 100 Monkeys which was then autographed) and also I contributed a photo of The Kissing Club and Tin Tin Can to the Wanted banner that they raffled off. They played my music video for Acapella Gumdrop at the show on Saturday and Dr. Gary Hammer even mentioned/thanked me on stage during each show --- all of those little things added up to me being hugely grateful to be so involved.

...It all begs the question... "How did I get here?" I know that some are sick of me for asking this, but the only appropriate answer resides in what has been my motto since last August -- "be careful what you wish for."

I've already said my thank you mentions on the SBL site, but once again I would like to give a resounding thank you to all of those involved in Legacy; from Bill and the bands, Callahan's, all those involved in merch and keeping people on time (and caffeinated!) to the fans -- none of it would be possible without every single piece of this puzzle.

For those who read my blog and who haven't found Spencer Bell yet -- please take a minute to listen to a song or two here. You won't regret it. Read his story, look through his art and fall in love.

Official photos will be posted on SpencerBellMemorial.com before you can find them anywhere else.

xx

JP