Ultimate Gratitude

"Now that you've figured it out, don't you miss the puzzlement? 
Befuddled as you were, the answers to your questions weren't
Nearly as obscure as you thought they would be, 
And now you're bored because the wonderment's gone 
And you're starting to forget what you were wondering about all along, 
Well, well, well, well, well... Regardless..."

I'm not sure that I will be able to slap all this together with my words. Honestly the best way I may have to express what I am feeling right now is to put my hand to my heart and just let the tears fall.

One year ago I attended my first Spencer Bell Legacy concert (which also happened to be my first 100 Monkeys concert...) and at that concert I literally only knew Willow - the person I came with. I knew Spencer, but not as well as I do now, I knew *OF* 100 Monkeys and knew some of their songs (most of which they didn't sing) and [besides The Stevedores] had never heard of any of the other bands.

Fast forward one year later (and 28 Monkey shows later) -- my third SBL and I am entrusted with the responsibility of being the official photographer for the event, I have the privilege to call some of these bands/band members friends of mine and I now know every word to nearly every song that all the bands sing.

Gratitude doesn't begin to cover it.

This has easily been the best year of my life (as I have said that many times before). And while you may think it's still only September, it really is nearing an end. I am tying up the loose ends and making birthday plans, I am recounting and reliving all the fabulous moments from the year and most recently, this weekend.

Now, as you know if you're an "avid reader", I don't dish on the moments that happen outside of public view - but I will say that even with inebriation, there's no way I can forget them.

Somehow I went from being the unknown girl last year, on the outside of all the inside jokes - to getting stopped all night Friday and all day Saturday so that people could introduce themselves to me. Insane.

Friday night I sang/helped sing three Spencer songs on the Callahan's stage. (Go To Hell, Twenty To One and Acapella Gumdrop) I had 5 photos raffled off for the fund (a photo of each member of 100 Monkeys which was then autographed) and also I contributed a photo of The Kissing Club and Tin Tin Can to the Wanted banner that they raffled off. They played my music video for Acapella Gumdrop at the show on Saturday and Dr. Gary Hammer even mentioned/thanked me on stage during each show --- all of those little things added up to me being hugely grateful to be so involved.

...It all begs the question... "How did I get here?" I know that some are sick of me for asking this, but the only appropriate answer resides in what has been my motto since last August -- "be careful what you wish for."

I've already said my thank you mentions on the SBL site, but once again I would like to give a resounding thank you to all of those involved in Legacy; from Bill and the bands, Callahan's, all those involved in merch and keeping people on time (and caffeinated!) to the fans -- none of it would be possible without every single piece of this puzzle.

For those who read my blog and who haven't found Spencer Bell yet -- please take a minute to listen to a song or two here. You won't regret it. Read his story, look through his art and fall in love.

Official photos will be posted on SpencerBellMemorial.com before you can find them anywhere else.

xx

JP

The Official Vegas/100 Monkeys Blog

"He was just a city; she's just a dirt road
But that never meant a thing, 
Running from the country, 
She needed out but, he held that diamond ring, 
Cuz I can't sit and I can't talk 
I gotta leave this town and run to you, 
Curse these nights that speak your name
I gotta leave this town and come to you, 
Break this curse... she barely knew your name..." 

I am going to try and be as accurate as possible, I'm also going to try to get everything in the correct order... but yeah, that's not going to happen, so get over it. Also, there's so much that I could write about the guys, so many things that my mind replays over and over but you know what? I'm keeping most of those things to myself -- I want to show them that by sharing moments with me that it doesn't mean I'll go run and spill it all over my blog or my Twitter unlike some OTHER people...

So the trip to Vegas didn't exactly go as planned. First of all, Willow's flight out of Charlotte got cancelled. Not fun. I'm not impressed whatsoever. Of course, Willow and I are troopers; we will not let this get us down and we'll get back on the horse (so to speak) in no time flat. ;) Promise.

Jennifer and I were very excited to see Vegas again... I may have to edit this blog to include all the things that happened with her because lord knows I can't remember shit when I'm by myself. We stayed at the Motel 6 on Tropicana again, walking distance to the nearly everywhere that you want to go that's on the Strip. When we checked in, however, they gave us a map and fucking directions to get to our hotel room.

As I mentioned before, the Motel 6 on Tropicana is the largest Motel 6 in the world... well, we were in building 5. I was not impressed... twas faaaar!

It was almost surreal that we were in Vegas for the longest time - the experience of the first show went by very quickly. Jennifer and I waited outside and were 4th in line where we met two girls who had gone to the Salt Lake show -- Crystal and Alissa. They became our buddies for the day and we were inseparable.

When the doors opened we booked it to the front row, of course...




















The guys didn't have an opening act for the first show, played for about 30 minutes to about 15-25 people. They played "The Monkey Song", "Clippity Clop", "Junkie", "Gus" and "Sleeping Giants". (Not in that order.)During the improv we (Crystal, Alissa, Jennifer and I) suggested "Strangers With My Baby" based on a question he answered at TwiCon *rolls eyes at TwiCon*. (Click the link to view the video, tis hilarious.)
















When they took our suggestion Larry goes, "I hope no one sent out an Amber Alert..." XD And then after the improv he goes, "I hope you find your baby..." Larry was fucking ON.

After the improv Jackson looked right at me and said, "do you want to hear a joke?" I kind of paused for a minute, but he was still looking at me - oh, he was actually asking ME! Okay... "Sure, let me have it," I replied and he smiled, "what do you call a dog with no legs?" I shrugged. "Call him anything you want; he won't come." Everyone laughed, I giggled. He finished with, "I would call mine 'Doorstop'."

The boys went and did their meet and greet... the first thing I said to Jerad was, "first of all, high five!" And he high fived me. I said, "you know, I high five you every time I see you..." he goes, "I KNOW!" And I *beamed* -- he signed the picture that I had taken with him and Jackson in Tulsa with the silver Sharpie that I brought... as he was signing I said, "I can't believe you actually remember that..." and he high fived me again. ;) Then I said, "but I have something really serious to tell you too..." I leaned down and his face got very serious as he leaned in. I said, "you're my best friend now, plan your life accordingly." He nodded and smiled wide. :D Twas epic.

You know, I bet that a lot of people who don't know me think one of three things when they hear that...

1) That I was being facetious.
2) That I'm in love with Jerad.
3) That I'm insane-psycho.

Now, I'd like you to know that I'm none of the above. I really and very honestly just love and admire Jerad. From the first time I saw the boys live I knew that he was the ultimate rockstar. He's a fucking face-melting guitar player and he's always been so nicer than nice to me... especially this Vegas trip -- he kinda went "out of his way" to be nice to me, he definitely watched out for my feelings that day, *cough* but then again - that's what best friends do. ;)

Jennifer and I talked to Jerad for a second about Vegas and Tulsa... Jerad said to me, "[Jackson and I] got you sick, didn't we?" I said, "a little, but it's no biggie." It wasn't until later that I was like, "whooooaa... how did he know I was sick?" So I'm guessing... well, wait. I'll keep my guesses to myself.

Jerad passed the photo of us down to Jackson and he was about to sign it when I go, "No, no, no, no! Wait!"  He stopped and dropped the Sharpie, putting his hands up. "What did I do!?" He smiled. I plucked the silver Sharpie out of Jerad's hand and said, "I wanted you to sign it with this." He found it humorous... ;)

I talked to Jackson a bit about guitar slides with Johnson and gave him a DVD of the photos I took in Tulsa plus 2 CDs "for the road", he goes, "for the road!" And then my eyes caught Jerad's and he nodded, "you did good." He reassured me...

After the meet and greet we wandered outside to get something to eat and I flat out ran into Edward Cullen taking pictures with people. There was Michael Jackson just chillin' on the Strip and people would rather have their photo taken with the fictional vampire from Twilight... so I got my picture with him too. XD But I made him wear my sunglasses since it was sunny out and that would make it more accurate. ;) [I thought this entire thing was funny as hell...]

Hahaaa, he was actually British... super fucking tall, I'm 5'8 if that's any indication to how tall he is... probably 6'4.

After eating and calling Willow to give her all the deets we went to the Monkeys soundcheck... we were the only two people in there. (Besides the sound crew who were right next to us - Marty, who was so nice to let us watch it!! And Brady, who was chillin' at a table behind us.)

The guys played "Smoke" and I was uber impressed with their ability to soundcheck; Jackson takes musical direction beautifully. I really would love to watch him work in the studio. I'm sure he's very efficient.

The guys had two opening acts for the second show. The Rooks and Imagine Dragons. Both were pretty good, but Imagine Dragons was face-melting INSANE. Hard Rock fucked up their sound, but they pressed on -- they started late, ran over, but fuck were they amazing. They're playing SXSW this year and I am so jealous... I want to go.

They sound like a cross between The Arcade Fire, The Killers and Mute Math live. Wicked.

Dan, the lead singer of Imagine Dragons. 

The second show started off great - the boys seemed to have more energy this time around, seemed to be in good spirits and played like their lives fucking depended on it...

They played some great songs, "Wings On Fire", "Reaper", "Poison Oak", "Orson Brawl", "Sweet Face", "The Monkey Song", "Koldpix", "Looker", "Keep Awake" and the improv we suggested for "Lipstick On My Collar"... there was another one or two but I can't remember them...

A little ways into the show Jerad high fived me... he's epic. Did I ever tell you that?

During "Wings On Fire", for the chorus I always light my lighter... we were in the front row and I was right in front of Jackson for this song - during the chorus, while my lighter was still lit he came around the mic stand and got in my face, singing the words back to me as I held my lighter up - at the end of the chorus, he blew out my lighter. ;)

He's fucking smooth, let me tell you. That boy knows what he's doing.

Whenever the boys play "The Monkey Song" I always scream out, "I love you Spencer Bell!" and Ben decided to reply this time, he goes, "I love you too, but you know, from Spencer." It was adorable... so now? Spencer loves me. :) Ben said so. Are you going to dispute what Ben said? That's what I thought...

After "Reaper" I smacked a giant roll of duct tape on the stage by Jackson's feet, he smiled and looked up at me, "that's duct tape." :)

You read most of the rest in the last blog about what happened with the mic stand and all that - I'm not going to repeat myself here - we were very sad that they couldn't play the last 30 minutes of their set, especially since Johnson had promised Jennifer that he would sing "Twenty To One" for her that night... they all seemed excited about it, as well... Major bummer.

After the boys came back on stage to tear down their equipment, we got to talk to Jackson, Jerad and Johnson a bit -- won't go into those details, but god they're good boys. You know? How can you not love them?

Some of my favorite photos of the guys from the second show:

The next day we went out to dinner with Phil and his girlfriend... We met Phil at while working the Justin Timberlake Shriners Hospitals for Children Open in 2008 and we met up with him again in 2009 when we were in Vegas for the 10 days -- it was nice that since we were only in town for a few days that we were still able to see him and Deanna.

We talked for over an hour and laughed our asses off. It was really awesome... one part particularly stood out though. Jennifer and I shared a burger at the restaurant and when the waitress asked if medium was okay to cook the meat to, without missing a beat I asked, "do you grind your own meat?"

Everyone went silent.

I said, "It's a legitimate question."

She said, "I'm not sure if we do or not." So I said, "make it medium-well then." And then I had to explain to Phil, Deanna and Jennifer why I asked that. "Someone's been watching too much Food Network," Phil laughed... I got hell for the rest of the night because of it... I think they were impressed that something like that came out of my mouth.

(Once meat is ground its exposed to millions of bacteria; if meat is ground fresh daily - it's not a problem to order your burger medium or medium rare -- which I would have done if I could have been assured that it was fresh...)

Later that night we went out to celebrate Jennifer's birthday and I took some photos while on the strip.

Check out the rest of my photography HERE.

And here's my official statement to the Hard Rock Cafe of Las Vegas:

Rock on,

Jodie

Set Fire To Everything I See

"I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe,

There, I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me..."

I didn't used to think about my lyrics of the day... used to just pick whatever it was I was listening to at the moment... now I tend to make them a bit more... ahmayzing.

My icon of the day? You know what? That's my favorite part of posting my blog. I love my icons. I didn't make this one, but it made me laugh. :) I am sort of ambivalent at this point, towards Robert Pattinson, but there are some icons I have from him that make me laugh and smile.

Now, when I say I'm ambivalent towards Rob... I like him - he's a fine actor, a fine Edward Cullen... hate what fame is doing/will do to him... but I'm just not all "fangirl" for him, you know? Either way...

Decided to go to Panera today and soak up their wifi... needed to get out of the house. I so want to take a nap here in this oversized leather chair... I'm beyond comfortable.

You know what's made me mad? The living room light went out like 2 weeks ago and we've got 12 foot ceilings... no chairs... no ladder... wtf am I supposed to do now? I am living by the Jack nightlight. (Nightmare Before Christmas)

Let's see, let's see... four days until Las The Vegas. I think I'm going to take more open shutter photos with mah new camera while I'm there. *nods once* EEEP! I can't wait now... Will piss off my guests... Jennifer got soo mad at the obscene amount of photos I was taking... Or perhaps it was the obscene amount of time I was taking with my photos... I reckon Willow is in for a treat then... ;)

Jennifer still doesn't have a plane ticket home. She's buying one tomorrow... I hate that we have to do last minute planning like that. That's no fun whatsoever... Dude... Someone remind me to put my confirmation numbers into my iTouch -- I'll forget and be screwed when I get to the airport.

I think I'm going to re-vamp my blog here in a minute or two...

Want a new Spencer Bell song? Click here and download "DMV" which will be on the new Spencer Bell B-Sides CD available at the Dallas Legacy show April 24th. (Please alert me of a broken link.)

Picture of the Day:

Adam makes me laff...

All The Lonely People

"...It's called heaven, and when I get there,

Maybe I'll find god...

But god ain't helping me very much,

and he sure as hell, ain't a very good guy..."

I had a good day yesterday. Went shopping for some new clothes - tried to find a damn good pair of skinny jeans and just fucking can't. I'm going to have to end up shelling out $80 at Torrid for a pair and that pisses me off.

I keep looking for my "_______" outfit, but I can't find anything worthy.

I did however find a really cute skirt at Forever 21 and a black tee to go with it. The entire outfit was like, $23! Freaking cheap.

Then we went to Target where I found a dress on clearance for $6 and a tee for $3. I can shop like a motherfucker, I swear. I am so proud of myself for how facking cheap I was! :)

Yesterday I got a Vince Gill care package in the mail from the Grammy's. It came with an autographed 8x10 photo, a 4 disc CD set, more postcards and 50 5x7 limited edition Grammy winner cards. Badass. I love that the Grammy's love me. :) [Now to just win one...]

Tonight Jennifer and I are going to see The Final Destination. We saw the preview for it in, I wanna say Harry Potter, but that doesn't seem right... when we saw the preview I instantly knew it was Final Destination, but at the same time, I didn't know they were making another one! Very pleasantly surprised!

Jennifer swore up and fucking down that we were NOT going to see this movie. Meanwhile, I have to continue the trend! 10 years ago I saw the first one in the theater... saw the 2nd on in the theater... 3rd one in the theater... you get the gist.

I actually don't care for horror films. They used to be my cup of tea and now I find that they're too scary. Although, I think I might be getting back into them a bit... but Final Destination fascinates me because of the element of death. The fact that DEATH is killing them. No murderer, no evil Saw/Hostel torture shit, it's imminent because of FATE. 2 things that I am strongly obsessed with. Death. Fate.

She swears that she loves horror movies but nearly refuses to see this one because its "too real" for her. That this one is harder to watch than all the others.

The kicker? This one is in fucking 3-D!

I cannot wait!

Picture of the Day:

Decided to change it up. I felt kinda bad that I always put Jackson up as the picture of the day. I know a lot of people don't see the beauty in him that I do and so I shouldn't shove him in your face. The only reason I put him up there every day is because I don't think he gets enough respect or love, but, I digress.

Today's photo of the day is a journal entry by Spencer Bell. I hope that you're able to read it... The first part Spencer says that he always feels like the first page of a new journal/notebook should be profound. (I feel the same way.) And then later he came back and wrote,

"Do not pray to the heavens, as they house only clouds; pray to your mind as God lives in your thoughts."

Also, I have posted 2 new photos on my photoblog. Click there to check em out!

xoxox

Rock On, Spencer Bell!

"I've got this chip on my shoulder,

I stole off the old block,

And it's more of a boulder,

And it weighs much more than this world,

And I, can't hold her no more,

I'm gonna walk to the church,

Gonna point at the steeple,

Gonna open the doors,

And dance for the people,

So god can see them when they ignore me..."

I had the most incredible, mind-bending, face-melting weekend.

At the last minute I up and left [what little] life here and caught a Greyhound to Detroit, MI. Nope, never been to Detroit. It was only okay, if you want me to be honest. There were definite key points, but I spent most of my time in Auburn Hills, MI for the Spencer Bell Legacy show. *huge smile that is exploding off of my face*

I spent 20 hours on a fucking bus. Let me tell you something. That's not fun. Fucking 2 hours on a bus isn't fun, so add 18 to that, plus changing bus two times with two two-hour layovers? Not cool man, not cool at all.

On my final bus change, I was sooo close that I could taste it and I had been pretty lucky about sitting with cool people or getting to sit all by myself, but then on the last leg of this some random guy sat next to me and said "if I end up falling over on your shoulder and drooling, it's cuz its the only way I have to lean..." I laughed, thinking it was a joke... he wasn't bad looking, he wasn't like creeptastic or anything, but then he just laid his head on my shoulder anyhow... like, just, "hey, let me nuzzle here for a little bit..."

I ended up falling asleep and not really giving a shit, I was only like 4 hours away from seeing my girlfriend and I was bursting at the seems, I wasn't about to let this dude being all up in my biznass screw up my mood - so then I woke up to him stroking my arm lovingly... I was like, "okay, time to get off me there, buddy..."

I woke up just as we were getting to a sign for the Jackson exit (I assume Jackson, MI) and so I text Genn and told her that there was an exit for Jackson *giggle* then I said, "oh, we're taking the Jackson exit!" I thought that perhaps there was a stop off of there... until I noticed that there was red and blue flashing lights behind us... So then my next thought is that the bus was speeding and I'm going "oh great, Genn is going to have to wait for me at the Greyhound station... LOVEEEELY." Except that then the cop came onto the bus and escorted someone from the back off of it... apparently he had called 911 from inside the bathroom and said that someone threatened him... eventually we were let go, no one was arrested and soon after we were in Detroit.

I got to Detroit at 6a on Saturday - the Spencer Bell Legacy concert was at 3p and the 21+ show was at 8p.

We ended up not actually going to the 3p show - none of us had slept in many, many hours - but the 8p show?!

...If I had a word that was greater than EPICFUCKINGFANTASTICOMFG I would use it, unfortunately, that's the biggest word that I know.

We didn't get there long before the doors opened, but yet we still got the front row. Awesometastic. It was at Callahan's, which was a pretty cool venue. They had ample seats, a GA area, booths, a bar and flat screen in the back, a nice stage area and a smoking patio/lounge area. Very cool. Someplace I would definitely chill.

First Mr. Bell came on the stage and thanked everyone - he was so hilarious I can't even begin to tell you. To be a fly on the wall in the Bell house... oh to be... Then they played a DVD video slideshow featuring Spencer's song "Tourist" (One of my favorite songs) - Genn and I cried... I can't remember if Kasey (Genn's BFF) cried or not, but really I think that if you made it through that without at least getting moist at the eyes... well damn, then I guess good for you... Spencer means to much to me for my eyes to stay dry during that.

Orson Brawl came on next - he was Spencer's roommate at Interlochen... he literally rocked so hard that his fingers bled. That's called ROCK AND ROLL. It was epic. He was really great... probably not by conventional music standards, but I really enjoyed his acoustic set and he definitely gets mayjah props from me for leaving the stage with blood all over his fingers and guitar.

After that Mr. Bell came back on stage and then all the bands came up there and did a shot of Jameson. It was pretty coolness. :)

After that was The Stevedores. Let me tell you something about The Stevedores. THEY FUCKING ROCK. THE END. That's all there is. Jake, the guitarist, is probably the most talented guitarist I have ever encountered in my 24 years, or my 9 years in the music industry. No. Fucking. Lie. Meanwhile, he has no idea that he's this talented. I tried to tell him after the show, but I was really in awe to be in his presence. I told him I wanted to warship him. No lie. I actually said that.

Ben J is the drummer for The Stevedores and now the lead singer since Spencer passed away. (Spencer was the lead singer/lyricist for the band) Now Ben is the lead singer/drummer for The Stevedores and the drummer for 100 Monkeys. Talk about a busy man.

The Stevedores set was absolutely marvelous. Unfortunately, there were fanwhores behind me who kept pushing me and bitching that I was taking photos instead of dancing. (Sorry, I'm a photographer. It's what I do.) Now, it's not like I was just fucking STANDING there in the front row not moving... I was definitely moving to the beat, but I wanted to take photos of this epic band and I wanted to HEAR them. I wanted to listen to every fucking note because of their awesomeness. I do not regret not dancing more. I had the best time ever.

Next was Drew and the Medicinal Pen, awesome band... during one song they said they needed a bell player and Kasey and I both pointed to Genn - so at the end of the song, Genn dinged the bell and she was soo perfect at it!! It was perfect timing and everything. I was very proud. :)

At the end of their set they performed a cover of Spencer's song, "Dandelions". Check out the video I shot here. It was awesome. Missy sang it... she was friends with Spencer. Drew, the lead singer of the band, said that he didn't know Spencer until after he had passed and that it was interesting getting to know someone after they've already died - but I really understood what he meant. That's how I feel about Spencer. I feel like I know him... sure, I don't know him as well as other people - I don't know him personally - but I know him in the ways that his art has touched me and how he's etched something personal on my soul that I will carry with me forever.

Next was Tin Tin Can - badass band from Chicago, IL. Their EP rocks. Here's the link for the free download of it. :) [[don't worry, it's an official link for their free download.]] They opened their set with a cover of Spencer's song "Billy Jean", was great... they made it very rock which I enjoyed.

Last, of course, was 100 Monkeys. Fantastic. Epic. The end. I was fucking impressed. I had about 6 songs of theirs in my iTunes but whatever I knew of them previously went out the window when they got on stage. They sounded great! Very talented, all of them commanding stage presence.

Unfortunately, Jackson couldn't be there. *pout lip* People have asked me if I regret going all that way to find out that Jackson wasn't there and the answer is no. I didn't go there for Jackson to begin with - I went there for Spencer. The Monkey's without Jackson are still Monkey's. They're still awesome. *shrugs* I'll catch him next time. ;)

During the first song, Jerad broke his pick cuz he was rocking out so hard and he handed it to me. :) I learned later that internet fangirls were jealous of that. *giggle*

A few songs in, Jerad pulls out his phone and calls Jackson... so I did get to hear his voice, which was pretty freaking cool beans. He sounded like he was smiling as he was talking, but he also sounded sad, like it was bittersweet that he couldn't be there. I know it must have torn him up to not be there in support of Spencer and his friends.

At the end of the phone call Genn and I both screamed "We love you Spencer!" and Jackson goes, "awww, I love you guys!"

I got many epic pictures from the 100 Monkeys... check all the photos out on my Facebook or check out the preferred ones on my photo blog. They did a kick ass rendition of Muddy Waters "Champagne and Reefer" sang by Ben G. Whoa. That's all there is. His voice was the perfect amount of raspy for that song.

After the show we went out to the patio area and I got my picture with the Guitar God, Jake from The Stevedores and my picture with Ben G.

The next day we went to downtown Detroit to the Hitsville USA building... it was pretty epic to be standing in such musical history. Definitely awesome... still have to get those pictures from Genn of that for me to post...

Later was the 100 Monkey's show in Novi, MI at Lucky Strike. Pretty big place, actually. I thought it was going to be itty bitty, but there was a bar/several lounge areas downstairs and then a bar/band area upstairs with an outdoor smoking patio.

The show was originally going to start at 6, then they pushed it up to 5 because they wanted to start earlier... then they had soundcheck issues so they didn't go on until 7. It was all very frustrating... however once we got in there and got all situated in our spot it was fine. Definitely worth the wait.

Drew and the Medicinal Pen and the Stevedores opened again. I was very happy to see The Stevedores again. Genn said she was happy to see my dance more at this show. :) We were at the end of the stage by the drummer/backstage area, so I didn't take as many photos as the day before, might as well dance. *shrugs*

We spent much of our night talking to band boys. Genn and Ben G. are like, BFF's now. :) I'm not going to go into all the details of everything because honestly, it's something I would rather keep to myself... but it was epic.

I got Ben G's guitar pick at this show, and Ben J's drum stick. Epiiiiiiiic.

After the show we hung out with the band for a bit out of the patio, taking pictures with all of them and talking... making plans... *grin*

Unfortunately, that night I had to put my ass back at the Greyhound station. It was sooo hard to leave Genn. I won't bore you with more Greyhound tales, but it took 22 fucking hours to get home. That's just too damn long...

...but I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

See you soon, Monkeys!!

xoxox

Don't Trust A Ho

"Down to the wire, I wanted water, but I walk through the fire,

If this is what it takes to take me even higher,

Then I'll come through, like I do when the world keeps testing me..."

Things I did today:

Danced around the house singing loudly to Britney Spears

Worried about how my girlfriend will perceive my loud singing to Britney Spears

Bought a shirt designed by Miley Cyrus

Wrote a to-do list for tomorrow

Saw a squirrel

Sang to the sounds of Spencer Bell

Bought my two favorite Spencer songs on iTunes

Felt like shaving my head

Heard about my friend Meredith's experience at TwiCon

Was satisfied with myself that I didn't go when I heard there was like 5000 people there

Realized that today was Wednesday

Was mind boggled learning that my friend Kristi is going to be an aunt 3x in 2 months

Ached for a new tattoo

Wrote this blog entry - click to see blog entry, wait, you're reading it...

Thought that that joke was funny

Thought that I should do these more often

Misspelled "often" the first time I wrote it "foften"

Ketchup

I mades that ^^.
"baby, take a seat, eyes on me, this is my show, your one and only pleasure all decked in lace and leather, fantasy courtesy of me, baby let's go..."

First off - I want to talk about Spencer Bell. <-- Click his name to view his site. Spencer was many things... poet, musician, artist, son and friend. Unfortunately in December of 2006 he was taken from us because of adrenal cancer. The Spencer Bell memorial page (Linked on his name up there. Click it when I'm done talking.) is dedicated to preserving his art and sharing it with the world. I can tell you that Spencer has touched the very core of my soul. The first poetry I read from him was My Name. (Click to read the poem.) I have found a lot of myself in Spencer, and this is where I started. He's everything, as am I. He's many things that people might see as a contradiction, but really they're not if you take the time to learn the person.

This part is particularly me:
"Quite complicated for such a simple fellow, or perhaps just very simply complex."

When I read Plan B I immediately knew that Spencer and I had the same mind.

My favorite is It Wouldn't Be So Bad. It touched me so deeply that I have a tattoo planned around it. I shared it with Jennifer and she said that it was "fitting" for me.




It's a crappy cell phone photo, but it's just a concept... I don't want my own sketch of headphones, but I want them to look sketched out, along the cord I want it to say, "it wouldn't be so bad to die with my headphones on..."

Spencer also has a lot of music on his page... he has a wonderful style and I hope that you enjoy it as much as I do. My favorite songs of the moment are, "Certain", "Cleaning Up", "Tourist", "The Whole Damned Thing", "Friends", and "Beautiful, More So".

In transition with Spencer - my Genn has a website on which she daily posts about Spencer. Please check out her site and her "soap boxes" when you get a chance. She's so captivating and passionate with her words, there's no way that you'll regret it. Watch out for this girl because she's going to change the world. One person at a time, she's fucking determined. She's already changed my world...

Lastly today, I want to talk about Jackson Rathbone's crotch. Okay, okay... moreso, musicians and how performing gives them a hard on.

I don't blame them. I mean, I've been there... not the exact sense as the male performers, but I can most definitely relate. Performing is a very erotic experience... to be worshiped by a sea of people all hanging on every single note...

I have a ever growing (no pun intended) list of male musicians who get hard when they perform.
-Justin Timberlake
-the lead singer of Alien Ant Farm (my was that impressive from the front row!!)
-Jackson Rathbone

I have seen the first two in person, and I'm sure if I really thought about this and if it wasn't 430am I could come up with more to add to my list... but, who cares... you just want the proof right? Here's the pudding.

My god, he's so epic gorgeous. I think I will take him home... it's been a while since I brought home a stray. You don't mind, do you Genn? No no, I didn't think so.

Picture of the Day:


Keeping in theme with Jaxxx... this tis my new favorite photo of him... I titled it, "Jacks has a hat and my heart" that's the honest to god truth. I kinda would basically sell my soul to the devil to photograph him. He's so beautiful. In photographs you can see past him and into his thoughts, into his soul... course, that's not necessarily the case here, here I just really like this photo. :)

xoxox