Birthday Wish List

I haven't made one of these since I was about nine.

When I was nine my birthday wish list went a little differently. This list seems far more practical than I am used to.

People keep asking me what I would like for my birthday, which makes me so, so happy at the thought that I may receive presents! (I love presents so very much... and you will love watching me open them. Swear.)

I am having a massive birthday party this year (sort of keeps with the theme of the past year for me, actually...) and since so many people are having to travel in to be there, I really didn't expect any gifts and I haven't gotten birthday presents in such a long time. Not that I would ever turn away a present...

The link to my birthday party event page, it's open -- RSVP! http://bit.ly/cCzWys

BIRTHDAY WISH LIST:

*Memory cards. (San Disk, preferred.)
*Filters for my lens. Many cool effects out there - you can find them on B & H Photo's website. (They're cheaper than you think...)
*Spencer Bell necklace from 100 Monkeys Sweden. (I'm Lost or There Is No Plan B.)
*Tambourine (Full size.) I will not turn away any musical instrument.
*Egg shakers
*Gift cards: Best Buy, Starbucks, Victoria's Secret, Sephora, Target, iTunes, gas stations/airlines.
*A new tattoo...? :)
*Alcohol: Jack Daniels or a case of beer will earn you a kiss.
*Hats. Size medium/large.
*Anything unique, handmade or personalized... something odd or random that made you think of me. (Antique/old fashioned mirrors, jewelry boxes and things always intrigue me.)
*Makeup. :) I love makeup.
*Anything Batman.

I am probably the easiest person to shop for. :)

--I may randomly add to this list.--

Jodie Platz vs The World

"If you're from the midwest and 
you think you wanna give the world your best shot
don't come to New York, 
it makes you poor, it kills your soul, 
go to a small town, hold your ground..."

Spencer Bell was right there... hold your ground.

This week I moved from the big city of Kansas City to the tiny, itsy bitsy town of Dawson Springs, Kentucky.

For contrast; Kansas City is the largest city in Missouri with a population of 475,830. Dawson Springs? 2,980.

Where?! I have seen like, four people since I got here!

Another contrast will tell you that the small town that I grew up in, Wamego, Kansas, has a population of 4,246... so... then there's that.

This place is tiny.

The point of this blog is because, if I am being honest here, I am in over my head and am trying to adjust to the culture shock.

While my new "home" is just 8 hours southeast of Kansas City, it's like another world. I was expressing this to my Mama on the phone yesterday and after all that I told her she gave me a few things to think about.

Whereas I have always thought that I have impeccable manners, apparently, my manners don't translate well here in the south. I was raised with the "proper" table manners and I am a stickler on using them. Please, thank you, no thank you, table on the lap, don't take the last of anything, don't chew with your mouth open, don't talk with your mouth full, don't take seconds before anyone else has, etc...

Along with those table manners comes; don't take something that isn't yours without asking.

When in someone's home (which, we stayed with Willow's parents until our place had electricity - for nearly a week) I have never been comfortable. When someone says, "make yourself at home," I find that just the polite thing to say -- that doesn't mean that I will ever just go to your fridge and grab a glass of water or some food. I just can't. So... I have offended many people since I have been in Kentucky because their idea of manners and my idea of manners don't match up.

This brings me to "polite/impolite", "respectful/disrespectful" as my Mama put it.

She made an excellent point. What I may see as polite, someone else is offended by. When I feel like I am being respectful, they're insulted.

Somehow, in those 8 hours from "home" -- everything changed. (I suppose that would be "this side" of the Mississippi... No?)

While I cannot fathom just walking into someone's kitchen and grabbing a drink (I won't even do that in Jennifer's parents house and I have almost known her/them 11 years...) when someone here says, "make yourself at home", they genuinely want you to feel at HOME. Thus, I have offended THEM because of my manners. I do not feel at home, so they feel as if they have failed.

Wow.

My Mama says that I need to change my views and try to fit in... however... when you have been the same way for 25... nearly 26 years... how on earth can you change? I will NEVER feel comfortable just walking into someone else's kitchen...

And... that brings me to...

If someone were in my new home and they got up from my couch and went to get themselves a drink from my fridge or something to eat -- I would be highly offended and I would feel like a terrible hostess... so then there's that!

Suggestions?

Jodie

Ultimate Gratitude

"Now that you've figured it out, don't you miss the puzzlement? 
Befuddled as you were, the answers to your questions weren't
Nearly as obscure as you thought they would be, 
And now you're bored because the wonderment's gone 
And you're starting to forget what you were wondering about all along, 
Well, well, well, well, well... Regardless..."

I'm not sure that I will be able to slap all this together with my words. Honestly the best way I may have to express what I am feeling right now is to put my hand to my heart and just let the tears fall.

One year ago I attended my first Spencer Bell Legacy concert (which also happened to be my first 100 Monkeys concert...) and at that concert I literally only knew Willow - the person I came with. I knew Spencer, but not as well as I do now, I knew *OF* 100 Monkeys and knew some of their songs (most of which they didn't sing) and [besides The Stevedores] had never heard of any of the other bands.

Fast forward one year later (and 28 Monkey shows later) -- my third SBL and I am entrusted with the responsibility of being the official photographer for the event, I have the privilege to call some of these bands/band members friends of mine and I now know every word to nearly every song that all the bands sing.

Gratitude doesn't begin to cover it.

This has easily been the best year of my life (as I have said that many times before). And while you may think it's still only September, it really is nearing an end. I am tying up the loose ends and making birthday plans, I am recounting and reliving all the fabulous moments from the year and most recently, this weekend.

Now, as you know if you're an "avid reader", I don't dish on the moments that happen outside of public view - but I will say that even with inebriation, there's no way I can forget them.

Somehow I went from being the unknown girl last year, on the outside of all the inside jokes - to getting stopped all night Friday and all day Saturday so that people could introduce themselves to me. Insane.

Friday night I sang/helped sing three Spencer songs on the Callahan's stage. (Go To Hell, Twenty To One and Acapella Gumdrop) I had 5 photos raffled off for the fund (a photo of each member of 100 Monkeys which was then autographed) and also I contributed a photo of The Kissing Club and Tin Tin Can to the Wanted banner that they raffled off. They played my music video for Acapella Gumdrop at the show on Saturday and Dr. Gary Hammer even mentioned/thanked me on stage during each show --- all of those little things added up to me being hugely grateful to be so involved.

...It all begs the question... "How did I get here?" I know that some are sick of me for asking this, but the only appropriate answer resides in what has been my motto since last August -- "be careful what you wish for."

I've already said my thank you mentions on the SBL site, but once again I would like to give a resounding thank you to all of those involved in Legacy; from Bill and the bands, Callahan's, all those involved in merch and keeping people on time (and caffeinated!) to the fans -- none of it would be possible without every single piece of this puzzle.

For those who read my blog and who haven't found Spencer Bell yet -- please take a minute to listen to a song or two here. You won't regret it. Read his story, look through his art and fall in love.

Official photos will be posted on SpencerBellMemorial.com before you can find them anywhere else.

xx

JP

Speaking Your Mind

Quick rant... I am in the middle of watching a documentary, so this isn't going to be a full-fledged blog -- just something I need to get off my chest.

Just posted a mini-rant on Twitter -- you probably saw them... something along the lines of "I can't speak out of turn... I am a robot..." etc...

It came about because yesterday I posted a Facebook status that read, "I am moving. I don't know where... I don't know when... but fuck this place. I am getting out of here."

This morning I received a response from someone that Jennifer used to work with who added me as a friend... "WOW! Is it really that serious? Some people wish they had something and you are complaining about..."

I replied with, "I don't think you know half of the situation. It's quite unfair to place judgement on people complaining about their lives when you don't know what goes on in their lives each day."

She responded: "Well that is the point of me asking not judging! So please if you got it that twitsted IT WAS A F***N JOKE! WOW! Who would have thought that you would catch an attitude with me. Never again that's for sure!"

I replied, "I think you're taking all of this... the status... my reply... all of it, quite too seriously."

This has been an ongoing issue I have dealt with for years with people.

Most people would collectively agree that Sagittarius is the most outspoken, blunt and opinionated sign is the astrological chart. While I do have an opinion on everything -- I am NOT outspoken or blunt. Quite the opposite, really. I was raised with impeccable manners and I very rarely speak out of turn.

So while I am usually quite well behaved (unless you try to rape a primates car... then I will peel you off of it and yell at you. Situations. Conditions.) I do have moments where there is just some shit you shouldn't say to me... I have moments where I voice my opinion.

I have, on rare occasion, let my unfiltered opinion slip and the repercussions were irrevocable. This is why I usually keep those opinions to myself. Get me drunk or know me for a long, long while... you'll be "privileged" enough.

Now. I don't believe what I first said back to this girl was that harsh -- I merely said that if you don't know the situation firsthand, you shouldn't make judgements. I think that was polite. I was reminding her of her manners.

Because really, she doesn't understand or know just how bad it is here. How bad my living situation is. The massive anxiety attacks I have at times just walking to my car. So, you keep your mouth shut when you don't know what you're talking about. Yes?

Lessons we have learned today: Not all Sagittarius' are the same. Don't say stupid shit to me. Mind your manners.

You Can Tell Me I Look Lonely...

...And I'll say you look the same... 

Life changes so incredibly quickly for me. One day I am sitting here thinking about how fucking hot it is in my apartment... how I can make a legit profit off of my photos... how much I hate where I am living... how much I miss my road friends...

...The next minute I have plans to go to Lawrence on Thursday to pick up an AC from my Daddy and now I do believe I have plans to move... to... Wisconsin...

The reason for this blog, however, is to say how much I truly appreciate the fact that I have met so many amazing... fantastic people because of this tiny little band that I love.

I wrote out this insanely long blog... and then I realized just how much I need to censor myself now... which, sucks... So... take the time to think about how small things make big waves in your life. If y'all leave some comments of how small things have changed your life in big ways, I maaay finish typing out my blog with what I was going to say...

xx

This Life... It Is A-Changing

The ADD is really killing me today. I came here to get online and get some work on my official site done... of course that didn't happen. I did manage to write, what I think, is a pretty rocking blog -- you can find that entry below this one if you haven't already checked it out.

Someone @'d me on Twitter and said that they got sucked into reading my blog, so I decided I would skim back a little bit and see what all I had written... I used to update for nogoddamnreason, but now it seems like I only update when I have seen the boys. This blog was never intended to just be about the boys... hell, I started this blog long, long ago.

So I was reading back a bit and then I clicked on my archive... I saw my Duct Tape post & giggled my ass off, remembering things that I had long since forgotten, that being from January and only my 4th 100 Monkeys show. (I am now at 26...)

It was pretty adorable to read about giving him duct tape for the first time (when now it's a staple & *expected*) and to read about him using my lighter as a slide for the first time... when now... oh god... well, I still love, adore and appreciate every time that he uses my lighter as a slide (if I am there to see it, or not...) but to read about my reaction to the FIRST time? Pretty sweet. :)

I then decided to click back to November and read about the first time meeting Jackson.

Crazy.

So crazy.

I can't believe how much my writing has changed. If I were to re-write that blog today, I wouldn't have put HALF of those details in there... and also, you can tell I was being respectful (& sogoddamnnew) because I kept calling him "Jackson Rathbone", "Jackson Rathbone". That. Is. Crazy. I don't even call him Jackson now! He never answers me when I call him Jackson! (Learned that one the hard way back in Tulsa...) I suppose there are some times when his name just *NEEDS* two syllables... Jack-son! (That's more of a scolding, if you ask me...) but no, no, no, no... he is J a y.

Alright, time to zip my lips on the comparisons... Oh... one more thing, though... I still talk about Jerad the same. :D

From the 4th show, Tulsa. January.

From the 26th show, San Francisco. July.

Both blue... hah. Awesome.

I just got very nostalgic right now. Great. Now I miss him... *grumbles and walks away* ...just what I needed...

xx

Jodie

Pain Is A Curious Notion

"LA lights, they don't shine quite as bright as back in Frisco... still wanna go?" 




One theory on pain is that there is only a set amount of it that you will feel in one lifetime. Once you have felt all that you were meant to feel... well, I guess then you don't feel any more pain. (Whatever that means.)

Everyone has a different threshold, feel, description & tolerance for pain. Doctors ask you to describe your pain on a scale of 1-10. But this cannot be accurate; someone's "7" is another persons "4".

This is one reason why I dislike when people ask me if any of my six tattoos hurt. I, personally, adore the feel of a tattoo needle against my skin. However, I cringe and bawl like a baby when I have to get blood drawn. (Nurses cannot understand this.) It's a different kind of "pain".

Perhaps it's intention there. I am willfully putting art onto my body, so the vibration, the needle... all of it... is so very enjoyable to me. But when I am getting blood drawn, that's pretty much against my free will there. Another analogy I can use for it is cutting - I don't feel pain when I intentionally cut my skin, but when I accidentally slice my hand while trying to make a bagel in the morning I curse and jump up and down...

The mind controls pain like it does emotions.

Steven and Laura had been in love for four years. They had the windows down and the car stereo as loud as it would go as they drove his red Pontiac around town. Steven was holding Laura's hand as he turned the corner and a Ford F150 ran a red light and T-boned the car on the passengers side.

When Steven came to he was covered in blood, hands shaking, smoke and dust everywhere from the airbags... but he didn't feel any pain. Not until he looked over and saw that Laura had been killed instantly.

When your body feels an immense amount of pain, it ups your adrenaline & makes it nearly impossible to feel anything. Shock.

However, what can your body to in order to keep your *heart* from feeling pain...? It cannot up your adrenaline to stop you from feeling heartache. I would gladly take the pain of broken bones and ruptured spleens over the crushing weight of some other emotions my body has felt.

I am not merely talking about losing someone that you love or care about...

Love hurts. It's true. (And a damn good song, might I add.) Have you ever watched the one you love walk away with someone else? There is no amount of adrenaline (or Xanax. Or whiskey.) that can make that pain go away. (Or that visual reminder...) What about unrequited love? What does the body do to make that pain disappear?

You know, I used to not really believe in love... not the way that others do. But now I believe if you don't really believe in love - love just hasn't found you yet... but pain? That will always find you.