Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

"I was sitting, waiting wishing you believed in superstitions,
Then maybe you'd see the signs,
Lord knows that this world is cruel,
And I ain't the lord, no I'm just a fool,
And I know loving somebody don't make them love you..."

Well here starts it. Today I have to work at noon, tomorrow 2p and then the store officially opens on Monday. I then work Monday-Friday 7a-4p... So, no days off until Saturday. Well, on the plus side of working 61 hours before getting a day off - my paycheck is gonna kick ass.

I just have to look forward to Saturday... Saturday, Saturday, Saturday. It's just a week. I can do this. Fuck Saturday. I'm getting totally hammered on Friday night. My feet and legs are gonna fall off...

*sigh* This is for the best.

So there's not much else new to say... I took a bath tonight and Bella came and pressed her paws against the edge of the tub and said hello. I told her to sit then I grabbed her and put her in the bath with me. It was totally cute. She didn't even try and get away, it was like she wanted a bath.

I finally got the lip ring to work for my piercing. I mean, I had had the ring in there before:



(this was St. Patty's Day. The ring came out the day after, sticking your finger down your throat with a lip ring succcccccccks.)

Anyhow, so I had been rocking the stud for a while, which is still super cute, but it's too long of a post and I haven't had time to go downtown and buy a shorter one. So the other day I decided to change it back to the ring.

The last time I put it in, the captive ball took me half an hour to get in there. This time? 10 minutes with one hand! True story! :) I was pretty stoked. Anyhow, doesn't hurt, not in the way, so I think I'm gonna leave it in there. I actually play with it less now that it's a ring instead of a stud. I used to chew on the stud tons and I know that's horrid on my beautiful teeth.

Just a quick bloggage today. I need to get to sleep. Big day tomorrow.

Comments = best friends.

xoxox

One Year Ago

Today marks the bittersweet 1 year anniversary of the day that I left for California.

All of my blog entries are still up from last year, so if you get bored or curious, you can go back in the time line and read about the encounter as it happened... or, you can listen to me tell it with my 20/20 hindsight.

This isn't something that I talk about freely, and with all my new friends that I've made over at Twitter, I may have mentioned casually that I was [once] a singer, but none of them know the details of the story. These are the details.

In March 2007 I was signed to a independent record label. In May of 2008 they sent me out to LA for a week to record with a producer, Fortune Otega. He had previously worked with Christina Millian and some other guy who had a really popular club song in the 90's... I can't remember his name right now...

Anyhow, I spent a week in LA. For someone who comes from a very small town in Kansas to eventually follow their dreams all the way out to LA - it was magnificent. I was so scared, I tried to not be too green or too naive... I tried to be strong.

Fortune had a lot of faith in me. He told me throughout the week that the songs we did together were going to be his big break, that this was his Grammy... I knew instantly that he was just one of those people who told you what you wanted to hear and did what he wanted to on his own.

Fortune had known my manager for 10 years prior, so please don't believe that I was quick to trust... I'm not.

That week we made 5 songs. I put my blood, sweat and tears into all 5 of them. Literally on all accounts.

There was an extremely personal song that I wrote about my mother leaving me when I was baby, I had put intricate details into the song and could barely sing it without crying... Fortune wanted to change it. I stood my ground... He said "this could be a great mother's day song..." How could something that goes 'Mommy, mommy, why did you leave me?' be a mother's day song?

I fought. I bled. I won.

At the end of the week I was a much stronger person that I had previously been. I do not hold California a grudge against all that went down in that beautiful state.

As Fortune dropped me off at the airport, he promised that by the time I got back to Kansas City I would have my songs waiting for me in my inbox. They weren't. I called him, he said I would have them waiting for me when I woke up. They weren't. He promised me a week, then two weeks... then finally it was almost the 4th of July and I wanted something to take back to my small town to show them what I had done and accomplished while I was in LA.

He said that I was "immature" and that I could "push his process". I said that he was "unprofessional" and a "liar".

He deleted my songs and I have since cut all ties with him. (And he called ME immature...)

My step mom still asks to this day if she'll ever be able to hear those songs. That pains me since I'm sure that's the only time she's been supportive of my career choices.

Since then, I have maybe written a verse or a chorus... I left my label at the end of my contract and have no plans to return to them, no matter how generous their offer.

Did he break me? No... but I do admit that I'm still bent.

Will I ever return to singing? Yes. Undoubtedly. More than likely I'll restart at the beginning of the year, that's more than enough time to lick my wounds and get my head on straight.

In the meantime, I'm quickly learning guitar, so I can be more self sufficiant. I do not want to be a pop artist like my mangement and Fortune tried to push me into... I would much rather be a folk/indie/rock artist and sing about the shit that really matters to me.

In conclusion; I've found so much of myself in the last year. A lot of it is even visable through photos. I have changed, I've become stronger, wiser, healthier, more beautiful inside and out. (And totally just realized that I've been a vegetarian for over a year. I started Jan 08)

Some of my favorite photos from LA:


It's basically fabulous. I do miss it.


Seeing the Hollywood sign was epic. I cried.


First time I saw the ocean. Another epic. I cried.


I loved Hollywood. Pretty epic. Didn't cry.

Then me today (okay, not TODAY, but you know what I mean.) It's not just the haircolor that's changed. It's everything.


I feel like I'm *almost* myself.



Never let anyone - a publicist, record label, producer, your mother, father, sister, brother, best friend or dog - anyone, never let anyone ever tell you who to be, how to sing, or how to do something. Do it YOUR way.

Much love - xoxox

Jodie Platz

Before We All Burn

"and the news reporters on the radio said it was getting worse as the ocean air fanned the flames, But I couldn't think of anywhere I would have rather been To watch it all burn away"

I'm seriously O-B-sessed with that song right now. If you haven't heard it, Google will be your best friend and I'm sorry to say you've been missing out. :)

Yep, looks like I'm going to actually write a real blog here!

Oh, first of all, I guess those that only stalk my blog haven't seen my new hair. This is me, black hair, extensions:


Jenn said I looked like one of the Veronica's which is like, the best compliment I've ever gotten. :) My mom said she loves it and that I'm finally her "little goth girl". :)

I've got a Bella snoring away in my lap, she would say hello if she were awake.

I'm not sleeping tonight. It's 530a and I have to be up at 7, so it's like, what's the point?

Why do I have to be up at 7a you ask?

A while ago I had an interview for this coffee/wine bar downtown called Saavy. Anyhow, they never called me back about the job, so I figured I didn't get it. They said in the interview that there had been other people who had more barista experience than I did but that my application was interesting. (They asked a lot of questions about my time at the radio station.)

Anyhow, so I get a call today from the owner saying that she would like to offer me the job if I was still looking! I called her back and everything is all set up. I go in this morning at 9a for training. Then I start full time on the 18th. My schedule will be M-F 7a-4p. How badass is that?! It's soooo badass. :)

This is the perfect job, if ya ask me. Err, well the perfect "real" job.

So there. Now I've blogged and you're all caught up!!

Also, I've been non-stop music right now. This is what I'm listening to the most:

Death Cab - Narrow Stairs
Telekinesis! (self titled)
Postal Service - Give Up
The Shins - Chutes Too Narrow



xoxox

if you're from Twitter and you leave me a comment (which you don't have to register to leave a comment!!) leave me your @name so I can thank you!!

Life and death, energy and peace. If I stop today it was still worth it. Even the terrible mistakes that I made and would have unmade if I could. The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul, it was worth it, for having been allowed to walk where I've walked, which was to hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, through it, in it, and above.

...I Got Nothing...

Today has easily been the worst day of this year...

I'm going to take a handful of pills and forget today happened.

xoxox

Beautiful & Dirty... Rich? No.

"we have got it made like ice cream topped with honey,
but we got no money..."

What I'm listening to right now. --> http://blip.fm/dj_jodie

Not that you're actually gonna click on it. LOL

Alright, I'm NOT Twittering today... err... like, maybe not? Gaah, I'm gonna try not to.

Actually, there was a lot of drama in Twitterville and I've been AWOL from Twitter for today, but I definitely don't wanna let Jake down... I just wanted to let everything blow over though.

Eventually I think I would like to release my side of the story, but that won't be for a minute. Only one person knows my true side of the story (because he was there) and right now I like it that way...

Tonight is also supposed to be the Twilight dinner party that Megan and I worked so hard towards... but... we're pushing it back... It's cool though. Jenn and I are still going over to Megan's tonight to watch Twilight and have some dinner. :) It'll be fun. I can't wait!!

Of course, I might have to be at prom AND at Megan's house. LOL I'll make it work. :) Always do.

Short blog... for a moment, I wasn't on Twitter.

Picture of the day -- Jackson Rathbone.



He TOTALLY knows what he's doing. Totally.

xoxox

www.twitter.com/hello_jodie

Before you ask where I am all the damn time, check there.