*Big Sigh*

I can't be bothered with icon, lyrics, pics, all that...

Today was the first day of my detox/cleanse. I did fantastic today. I've had a little over 2 liters of water... I took a bath today... I wasn't even hungry...

Then...

Then Jennifer failed. She text me and said, "I don't think I can do this..." I text her loads of times and tried to keep her spirits up, tried to keep her from failing, tried to keep her motivated... Finally I asked, "did you already eat?" She said she did so I yelled at her, "why did you make me waste all these texts trying to save you when you already did it?!?"

She just kept telling me that she would start tomorrow. She told me that yesterday and that's when we agreed that we would start today... Now today she tells me she wants to start tomorrow.

I am livid.

I've fasted for 8 days with just the support of Gemma, but it's hard to do it alone when you don't have a support system around you.

I'm not hungry, but now I'm thinking of sacrificing my day and eating so that we can still have the same day tally. She says she'll just be a day behind me, but it's going to be hard every day. Today: not hard for me, but I've had many days without food before. I don't think Jennifer's ever made it through one.

She needs to make it through 30 of these days - the first 3 are the hardest and she can't make it past the first one.

...Fuck me.

I don't know what to do.

Part of me wants to say "fuck her" and just try and do this on my own... She'll either do it with me, or won't. But then again... she's my best friend.

:::EDIT:::

I called Jennifer, she was all, "I had a bad day... la... la... la..." I TOLD her that I WAS NOT going to take that as an excuse because she's done that before on other "diets". I still haven't decided what I want to do. "Well, I realized I didn't eat all the food I wanted to eat before my fast..." she said... WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCKKKKKKK???? That statement right there makes my blood boil.

DO YOU WANT TO DO THIS OR NOT?

Fuck me.

Ughhh... this is ridiculous. I haven't decided, but I wouldn't be surprised if I let her get the best of me...

On a completely different subject:

I don't think I want to be your friend anymore.

:::EDIT DOS:::

I've made my decision, but there's a catch...

Back to bad habits...

Times Like These

"I just kinda died for you,
You just kinda stared at me..."

I thought to myself... "I don't want to blog again..." but I'm too bored to not blog again. I have nothing else to do. Now, I'm just wondering if I'll be able to think of anything to say...

...

...

...

...So I couldn't think of anything to say, so instead I'm going to do something I haven't done since I was in middle school. Song meanings... (err, to me...)

I'm going to do 50 songs from iTunes on random and say maybe what my favorite lyrics are, or what the song reminds me of... what it means to me... (Yes, I'm bored.)

1. Lithium, Nirvana -- reminds me of 7th grade when the boy who lived next door, Scott, let me borrow his Nirvana CD. He was a bit mentally unstable, but I sort of looked up to how punk rock he was.

2. Online Songs, Blink 182 -- One of my favorite Blink songs, actually. Mark sings, so of course I love it. So... I basically peed myself when I found out Blink was reuniting, and then I pooped myself when I found out they're touring this summer!

3. Love Her Madly, The Doors -- My favorite Doors song, and one of my favorite songs on the planet. The best part comes at exactly 2:22... turn it up loud...

4. New Deep, John Mayer -- this song reminds me of fall... most of his songs remind me of fall and fog. This wasn't one of my favorites when I got the CD, but I really love his voice on it. I love how everything is just play for him. "I'm so alive, I'm so enlightened, I can barely survive, a night in my mind, so I've got a plan, I'm gonna find out just how boring I am, and have a good time..."

5. Blowin' Me Up (With Her Love), JC Chasez -- remember, I'm not picking these!! LOL I hate this song... but I was super happy when it came out cuz I love JC as a singer/songwriter. I'm super depressed that he isn't currently pursuing that anymore. He's too talented for his own good, this song just sucks.

6. Dookie, Green Day -- everyone loves this song, which makes me want to hate it - but seeing it live was an experience I wouldn't trade for the world. (Front row baby.)

7. Sober, Pink -- I love how raw her voice is in this song. I can relate to it on more than one level, as well. I definitely have a strong connection with this woman. I remember that I wrote her a fan letter after I bought her first album and she actually wrote back. I told her that her CD brought my mom and I closer together because we would listen to it in the car together and just sing... There are few people that I adore as much as I adore her.

8. Break The Same, Mute Math -- What an incredible song, what an incredible band. Mute Math is so progressive I think people are afraid of them being mainstream, they are the future of music. "And we all feed doubt, what a shame, when only tears know how to remind us we all break the same..." One of my favorite lyrics in history. If you're still new to them, listen to this song or click here to watch the worlds greatest music video.

9. Rockaway Life, Kenna feat Justin Timberlake -- Again, very progressive - everything about this song is incredible. I love Justin's chorus - the filter on his voice, Kenna's lyrics and the beat is just superb. There's not one favorite part of this song, it's all amazing.

10. Turn The Page, Bob Segar -- who doesn't love Segar? I'm sure what was meant for this song is for it to be eerie, mission accomplished. I'm not sure what this song reminds me of, but it's of my childhood. "here I am on the road again, there I am up on the stage, there I go, playin' the star again, there I go, turn the page..." I love it.

11. Please Mr. Postman, The Carpenters -- I love Karen, end of story.

12. Romeo & Juliet, Indigo Girls -- A cover from the Dire Straits song, I prefer this version, actually. Reminds me of spending summers with my Mama. "But I can't do the talk, like they talk on my TV screen, I can't do a love song, not the way you sung them to me, I can't do anything, but I would do anything for you, I can't do anything except be in love with you, now all I do is miss you, and the way we used to be, and all I do is keep the beat, I keep bad bad company..."

13. Ode To My Family, The Cranberries -- Another song that reminds me of my mother. This would be on my list of top 100 songs, definitely near the top. She's got such a beautiful, soothing voice. "do you see me, does anyone care, I thought happiness was when I was young and I didn't give a damn..."

14. Violet Hill, Coldplay --This song gives me deja vu, from the first time I heard it I swore up and down that I had heard it before. "if you love me, won't you let me know..." This song was only meant to be played one way: loud.

15. Gimme Stitches, Foo Fighters -- God, I love the Foo. I love Dave Grohl. Every time the Foo comes on in the car, I have to remind Jennifer who they are, which is just wrong. "I've always been the one who runs from everyone, cuz everyone's just too weird..." I tell her, "The Foo Fighters!!! Dave Grohl!! He was the drummer for NIRVANA!!!!!" This is on my top ten of Foo songs.

16. Desire, U2 -- Sometimes I think Bono is a little too self-riotous. I'm not too fond of this song...

17. Requiem, Mozart -- Odd knowledge about this masterpiece. It's very eerie when you know everything. It was Mozart's last piece and is one of his most popular and respected pieces. It's absolutely glorious and best enjoyed with headphones on, eyes closed.

18. Nobody's Home, Avril Lavigne -- This is one of those songs that I know exactly what year it was released, 2004. Why do I know that? I was working at the radio station during that time and lord, all the songs that were popular during that time are hard for me to listen to them because I heard them so many times in one night for 5 nights a week for a whole year... This is one of those. It was once a good song.

19. Fix You, Coldplay -- Ooh, do I love this song. Ooh, do I love Coldplay. Chris wrote it for Gwenyth after her father died. Makes me cry... "tears come streaming down your face, when you lose something you can't replace..." If they ever get divorced, I'll be pissed.

20. Suspicious Minds, Elvis -- Jenn's favorite Elvis song, also a favorite of Ingram Hill, who loves to cover the song. I've never much cared for it, but it was awesome to see her go crazy at the 'Hill show when they played it.

21. You and I Both, Jason Mraz -- my favorite Mraz song. I'm a big fan of his actually. He's different from other singers. I really enjoy his lyrics and I love the hook in this song.

22. Tell Me Something I Don't Know, Selena Gomez -- Gah, I love this lil girl!! She's so adorable and talented! I was bored, nothing was on, so I watched "Another Cinderella Story" and had to download this song after, it's as catchy as can be. *loves*

23. Can't Stop, Maroon 5 -- Off their 2nd album, I wasn't particularly fond of the album as a whole when I first got it, but after a few spins I definitely loved it. (Never gonna love it as much as the first one.) "...and wake up making love to a pillow..." niiice, Adam. "...and I touch myself like it's somebody else, thoughts of you are tattooed on my mind, let me show you..." Wouldn't it be nice to be the woman he's hung up on?

24. Lie Detector, Mya -- Well, it's definitely a good idea. I love Mya's voice, it's so velvet and sexy.

25. Step by Step, NKOTB -- "step by step, raaaaaaaaah!" LOL that's all.

26. I Like Money, Millionaires -- These 3 chicks made this song on their Mac on Garage Band and it became a hit on myspace... Fuck me, that's a dream. "high heels, makeup, fake eyelashes - look at you, you're so damn plastic, acrylics on with orangey skin, that lipo really made you thin!" I love em!!! I can't wait for the Warped Tour!!!

27. Why Don't You Do Right (1942), Tommy Dorsey & Peggy Lee -- Reminds me of Jessica Rabbit in Who Framed Roger Rabbit, one of the greatest movies of all time. I used to watch it tons as a kid. (I can hold out the note Jessica Rabbit does in the movie. *wink*)

28. Sunday Morning, Maroon 5 -- This song reminds me of seeing them open for John Mayer in Memphis/Jackson, MS. That was a pretty fun trip.

29. Please Don't Leave Me, Pink -- Her whole album has this raw awesome vocal styling. "I can be so mean when I wanna be, I am capable of really anything..." words from my life. Unfortunately, this song is me.

30. It's Been A While, Staind -- my perfect love song. I can listen to this on repeat for days. "it's been a while, since I've gone and fucked things up, like I always do, and it's been a while, but all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you..." Best. Lyrics. Ever.

31. Faster Kill Pussycat, Paul Oakenfold feat Brittany Murphy -- She's got an incredible voice. I loved her singing "Nobody Does It Better" in Little Black Book. I wish she would release an album. Her voice is very unique.

32. Citadel, Anna Nalick -- Not my favorite Anna Nalick song, but I definitely love her. I felt so stupid, she's one year younger than me and when I first heard this song several years back I had to Google "citadel". LOL

33. Every You Every Me, Placebo -- I love Placebo. They are a fantastic, original band. "my heart's a tart, your body's rent, my body's broken, your's is bent..." If you haven't heard this song, listen to it now.

34. Crystal, Fleetwood Mac -- Fleetwood Mac is coming to Kansas City at the very beginning of May and I'm suicidal at the fact that I can't go. This song reminds me of running away... and of Heath. "then I knew, in the crystalline knowledge of you, that drove me through the mountains, through the crystal-like and clear water fountains, that drove me, like a magnet, to the sea..."

35. Waterfalls, TLC -- I once won a singing contest because I was the only person who could do Left-Eye's entire rap. TLC was my EVERYTHING in 6th grade. It wasn't until semi-recently that I realized this song was about AIDS.

36. Too Much, Spice Girls -- The Spice Girls were also my everything in 6th grade, along with Hanson. I desperately love this song.

37. Te Busque, Nelly Furtado -- when I first got her album, I listened to this song on repeat for about 5 days. I love the rhythm of the chorus, though I have no idea what it means. LOL "I've been too sad to speak, and too tired to eat, been to lonely to sing, devil cut off my wings..."

38. Dangerous, Roxette -- I remember having the bright blue cassette tape of this. This song is me in my mom's shady downtown apartment, playing this song on repeat.

39. Last To Know, Pink -- Someone hurt her bad. This was my repeat song for a couple weeks after Try This came out. "why was I the last to know that you weren't coming to my show, you coulda called me up to say good luck, you coulda called me back you stupid fuck..."

40. Live and Let Die, Paul McCartney -- Classic, of course. I am not sure why I love this song, I just do.

41. My Dad's Gone Crazy, Eminem -- I used to be obsessed with Eminem. I couldn't help it. I love this song... Favorite part is 1:50-2:32 ;-)

42. Edge of Seventeen, Stevie Knicks -- seriously... gonna... kill... myself... can't... go... to... show...

43. Starlight, Muse -- I. LOVE. MUSE. I wish I could marry their music. It's absolutely amazing. So progressive... Their lyrics are intense, profound and at times don't make sense, their music is absolutely ridiculous. "Far away, this ship is taking me far away, far away from the memories of the people who care if I live or die..." I could probably go on literally forever.

44. Beast of Burden, Rolling Stones -- my favorite Stones song. I used to hear it on the classic rock station all the time, then I downloaded it and now I never hear it. LOL "pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, girls..."

45. I'll Be Your Lover Too, Van Morrison -- Van Morrison is an absolute legend, I adore his songs. This song is incredible romantic... "you'll be my queen, I'll be your king, and I'll be your lover, too..." (Psst... Van is Robert's favorite artist, and he does a killer cover of this song that makes me swoon...)

46. Could I Be You, Matchbox 20 -- I love them live, they are one of my favorite bands ever to go see. This is maybe my third favorite ballad from them. "Something is wrong, with the sun above us, that I can't seem to erase, how can I be the only one, without a smile on my face? You're laughing out loud, at just the thought of being alive, and I was wondering, could I just be you tonight?"

47. Purple Rain, Prince -- From now on, every time I hear Prince all I'll think of is the 30 minute bus ride from the Suncoast Hotel to the Strip the whole week we were in Vegas. One night... our final night, Jennifer and I got really drunk and went to the Strip alone and I was dancing on the bus knocking on the windows and blowing kisses to the passing cars... I did some naughty things that night... and they say what happens in Vegas... *wink* well, I didn't tell you everything, now did I?

48. You're My Best Friend, Queen -- who doesn't love Queen? Show me someone who doesn't love Queen and I'll show you someone I am going to have exported off of this planet. (Or at least this continent.) This is my song for Bella. :-) It reminds me purely of her.

49. I Feel So, Boxcar Racer -- my mad song. I play this loud, only... "Sometimes, I wish I was brave, I wish I was stronger, wish I could feel no pain, wish I was young, wish I was shy, wish I honest, wish I was you not I..."

50. By The Way, Chili Peppers -- I adore them as well... duh... this is not my favorite song by them, but one of. "daddy's little girl is singing songs to be beneath the marquee..."

That's a pretty decent list... and I killed a lot of time. I'm pretty proud of myself for not picking and selecting songs... those are really just what came up on iTunes. :-)

Which are your favorites on this list?

xoxox

Playlist, songs of the moment:

1. Aurora - Foo Fighters (Song of the day, up there...)
2. Little of your Time - Maroon 5 remix (Pretty freaking badass.)
3. Tired of You - Foo Fighters (I just listened to this for an hour straight.)
4. Dude (I Totally Miss You) Tencious D (I love Jack Black. I'll say it again... I LOVE JACK BLACK.)

Flavor of the Weak

"Nobody does it better,
Makes me feel sad for the rest,
Nobody does it half as good as you,
Baby, you're the best..."

That lil gif up there is one of my favorite parts of Twilight... and it's at the tail end. LOL I love the pained look on Edward's face as he kisses Bella. It's truly painful for him.

So, as I explained in my previous blog, I've been having a lot of trouble with my body lately. I've been sluggish, tired and have not been putting anything healthy into it at all. (I won't gross you out with the other details.)

I was looking around for a new fast to go on when I stumbled upon this guy's explanation of his 30 day detox... I feel completely inspired and I've even gotten Jennifer to agree to join me in this! (She's opted out of other fasts I've suggested, claiming that she 'can't' do them.) I am super proud of her for saying that she will embark on this with me!

The longest I've fasted for before this was 8 days and this time I'm determined to go the entire 30. For me, it's not even about the amount of weight that I will lose, it's about the spiritual experience attached to it, and getting all of the toxins out of my body that currently take up space there.

Jennifer is going to include Vitamin Water in her fast (which she's doing against my suggestion...) while I'm just doing water. We'll both be doing regular colonics along the way, as well. Which is new for both of us - but after reading about the personal results that this guy had with the entire cleanse, I am so excited to do it!

Once we break the fast I think I'll try my hand at being vegan... I know that after I complete the 30 days I won't want meat again. (Did you know that meat can stick to the sides of your intestines and stay there for YEARS if you don't flush it out with cleanses and colonics?! Click here to see why humans were not designed to eat meat.) Once I'm free and clean of all the shit that's been building up for 24 years, causing me to be full of toxins, I can start a new clean, healthy life. It'll be like a clean slate! I can't wait.

My new focus is going to be on feeding my body what it NEEDS and not what I WANT. (75% of the food we eat, we don't need - it's just emotional eating. We listen to what our minds want, and not what our body is telling us it needs.)

I'm going to concentrate on eating a balanced diet of raw fruits and vegetables and whole grains. (Which I've never been a fan of...) I hope to only eat sweets a few times a year and to really taste and enjoy my food for what it is - nutrition... fuel...

I can't wait... I keep saying that. LOL I'm sure it's the only thing I'll talk about for the next 30 days, I apologize in advance.

For someone like me, weight and food rules my life -- how can it not be all I talk about? At least I'm not just bitching about my weight and continuing to eat cheeseburgers... at least I'm actually doing something about it... or rather, will tomorrow.

Thanks for supports. I'm chillin' at McD with Jenn tonight, I might blog again later on something not having to do with food... we'll see.

Playlist:
1. Nobody Does It Better - Carly Simon (Epic. I love this song. I lover her.)
2. Flavor of the Weak - American Hi-Fi (First band I moshed to. I've never had more of a high than I did then, and it was completely natural.)
3. Simply Because - Rooney (I love Rooney.)
4. Running Man - Hanson (Zac Attack sings, tis catchy.)

Pic:


Look at that SMILE!!!!

I was chattin' with Rae during the Grammy's (and drinking...) and when he came on talking about the General Store I think my message to her went something like...

"OMFGSsakjahfa1~~~~!!!! ehjaskfashfshafhjafhjajhkakhjafkshjafhkjafhkj!!! GENERAL SSTTTTOEERE!!!!"

I has mayjah prouds. ;-)

xoxox

I Can Has Four Beers?

"I don't hold my breath
& I don't hold my tongue
& I know that you know, that I don't back down to no one...
You shoulda stayed home,
You shoulda known better,
That I melt in your mouth like liquid sugar,
You thought you were gonna throw it back in my face,
But tell me how do my leftovers taste?"

Today Jennifer and I watched a show on TLC about these "super-morbidly obese" people. People who consume 16,000 calories + a day (the average male needs 2,500 to survive, the average female, 2,000) Some of these people were nearly 900 lbs. It was absolutely revolting to see the amount of food that they put into their bodies.

However... I did sympathize with some of the things they had to say about food. Saying that it's an addiction, it's just like heroin... you'll do anything to get your next fix. Some of these people's family were being pursueded by them to give them food.

Unfortunately I can relate to that.

There are so many people out there that probably don't understand how hard it is to stop eating. If it was so simple, do you think I would choose to be this way? Do you think I'm proud that I now have a new highest weight? No...

I'm terrified that one day I'll end up like one of those people on TV. Eating mass amounts of fried egg sandwiches and whole boxes of Oreo's... too huge to get out of my bed and I end up wearing a diaper... I've said to myself that I was never going to be one of those people, but then again - when I was 220 pounds I said I would never make it to 250... Now... now I would kill to be 220 pounds...

I'm scared...

I can keep saying I'm starting tomorrow... I'm not eating tomorrow... Tomorrow is a new day...

Fuck tomorrow.

I'm starting today.

Playlist:

1. My Leftovers - Porcelain & the Tramps (I fucking love this song, it's badass.)
2. Not Coming Home - Maroon 5 (I need a new M5 album.)
3. La La - Ashlee Simpson (I like her... shhh.)
4. I Miss You - Blink 182 (I am sooo stoked to see mah boys on the Grammy's!! Annnd, they're putting out a new album!)

I'm so stoked for the Grammy's tonight. :-) Rae and I are gonna date later and I've got my beers in a bath all set and ready for the big show!! (I promise I won't break the remote this time if Justin loses.)

xoxox

Curiously Strong

"I wonder how you sleep,
I wonder what you think of me,
If I could go back,
Would you have ever been with me?
I want you to be un-eased,
I want you to remember,
I want you to believe,
I want you on my side..."

Jenn's finally posted her first blog!!

www.whiskeygurl.blogspot.com [Link]

I was drunk when I posted the blog with the link to her blog and I had accidentally made 2 blogs -- whatever -- anyhow, she liked that one better. :-) Go comments. (But not more than you comment me!)

Today I wrote a letter to my friend Paul, whom I met in Vegas during the Timber-tournament. :-) He's stationed in Afghanistan until June. :-(




Damn, that was a good day. It was a good hair day, I looked freaking fantastic that day, met Justin and got wasted with Paul and Phil (another Vegas boy) after the tournament.

This picture actually makes me miss my hair. LOL, It's the only one that makes me miss it though.

Anyways, so I wrote Paul a letter today and I'm going to stick it in the mail Monday. I think I'm going to print out a few pictures from Vegas and put em in there too. I asked him if there was anything he wanted me to send him - like goodies and such -- anything he wanted or needed, and he told me no... Just a letter from me would be nice. *swoon*

Do you think I should make him a CD too? Or maybe save that for the next letter I send him?

Playlist:
1. Downfall - Matchbox 20
2. Guns & Roses - Jay-Z feat Lenny Kravitz
3. Be Like That - Three Doors Down
4. Bring Me Down - Puddle of Mudd (awesome live.)

Pic:


Made me LOL... I don't care for Zac Efron one way or the other, but I saw the trailer for his new movie, 17 Again and I can't wait to see it.

Click to see trailer.

xoxox

[Ironic Title Here]

"Standing in line to see the show tonight and there's a light on, heavy glow
By the way, I tried to say I'd be there, waiting for,
Daddy's little girl is singing songs to me, beneath the marquee, overload..."

So I was bored and had nothing to say... I guess that's why I didn't blog for a while... and Jenn's blog? *growl* I made it, but she's been too tired and lazy to actually go blog on it. I hope to pin her down tonight when she gets home and make her blog. Sorry for telling you it would be up when it wasn't.

I want food.

I guess I'm thankful that Jenn is working all day today because then I won't have access to food... I gorged myself of sushi last night, that was incredible... then I had cheesecake. Today, I fast. I bought some wheatgrass juice and I'm starting a fast today. So far, only had water.

I wish I could tell you thing are looking up for me, weight wise, but what I can tell you is that I'm definitely thinner than yesterday. For those who have followed my weight, take my highest weight and tack on an extra 20 lbs to that... seriously... I have never been more ashamed of myself than I am currently. It's absolutely ridiculous and completely uncalled for.

I need to starve it out for a few days, (I know how some of you hate that, but it's what I gotta do...) and then I can get back to one meal a day and small portions. Currently I feel like The Blob. I don't even know this body anymore...

Enough about weight.

So I finally got my phone number to the hotel correct... twas weird... Long story short, Gemma called, we had little to talk about, as always. :-( Ehh, we just need to get our mojo back... Anyhow -- so we were gonna MSN for a bit and before she got online I went down to the office to get some ice. I come back and my room key doesn't work. [fuck my life.] Luckily, the housekeeping is like, 2 doors away, so I ask them to open the door for me -- they did and then they didn't come to clean my room!! :-( I definitely needed clean towels.

Whatevers.

No playlist today, I'm lazy.

Pic:



Those beautiful green eyes. XD

xoxox

EDIT::

http://www.whiskeygurl.blogspot.com

Jenn's new blogger.

I messed up on the last one. She's about to blog right now.

Drizzi Drunki

"When we said we were gonna move to Vegas, I remember the look her mother gave us, Sent the team without a purpose or direction, We don't owe anyone a fucking explanation..."

Lyrics from my own personal life...

So we moved all day yesterday. I didn't sleep the 31st...

Happy Belated...



I have no current comment on Timberlake... maybe later.

I stayed up all night on the 31st to clean/pack... moved all day the first. Hate Jenn's dad. I don't care if her parents helped us move. Her dad took my stuff and threw it on the floor... my wallet and an Edward Cullen cuff included. Asshole... I hate her parents. We moved all day the first... okay, all day until 130p -- Jenn made me leave a TON of shit behind... my microwave we've had since I was like 8, tons of glasses, knives, pans, casserole dishes... I mean, I won't have a use for them until May, but it's not like she really wants to have to buy me new ones, but she made me throw them away, so she has to buy me new ones... New hangers, new clothes, new shoes... whatevers...

All our stuff is in storage now... We're happy it all fits...

Today I walked to the grocery store, which I have to cross the busiest street in Blue Springs on foot to get there... that was fun. LOL I bought wine and chips.

Jennifer and I both had the same idea at the same time today... we're not as bad off as some people... Things could definitely be worse for us. Jennifer read an article in the USA Today to believe that... I just kinda realized it on my own, or I was reading her thoughts again... I realized that living in a hotel and having a storage unit was the worst of my problems... some people are actually homeless and can't bathe but once a month, how awful... here I am taking a shower for granted... I honestly do...

Anyhow, I just wanted to make it known that I don't MEAN to take anything for granted. I try to appreciate everything.

I had my interview for the lap-band today. I built it up so much that I think in the end I will be completely crushed and disappointed when I don't get it... There are people who are double my size who probably deserve it more than I do.

Playlist:

1. Rock Show - Blink 182
2. Sunburn - Muse (I hope I've gotten you to love Muse by now...)
3. Let It Happen - Jimmy Eat World
4. Territorial Pissings - Nirvana

Pic:::


He crushes on her soooo hard... he could have any girl in the world and he chooses her... she could have any guy in the world and she chooses to not have him...

xoxox

EDIT --

Thanks for all the comments lately... please don't stop them, I love them. I made Jenn's new blog. It's a blogger, no need to register, please read and comment. She gets sad when no one comments, but if you comment her more than me, I might kill you... check it Tuesday for an update!!!

http://www.whiskeygurl.blogspot.com

BOOKMARK ALONG WITH MINE!!!