We'll Call This The Pic Post

Random -- whatever song comes on I'll use...

"We've only just begun, to live,
White lace and promises,
A kiss for luck and we're on our way..."

I do love that song...

All of the sudden -- he's gone...

So I'm sitting on the couch with a blanket, Bella and I are having some snuggle time and she's sitting between my legs while I'm watching My Best Friends Wedding - when all the sudden I hear something and then flap flap flap a BAT flies out of the fireplace (which is right in front of me) and starts flapping around in the living room... I, of course, scream and duck for cover under my covers... I grab for my cell phone which is on the arm rest and speed dial Jenn, as soon as it rings I hear the key in the door and Jenn walks in, I scream for her and tell her there's a bat in the house!!!

An hour and a half later we find out the bat is in my JUSTIN stand from his HBO special and I'm still under the covers. Damon helped get the bat out, I stayed under the covers but told Jenn to take a photo... ;-)




That's FUCKED up, huh? Yeah, I was NOTTT too happy.

Because of the bat I had to put off my date with Rachel, eventually we dated and of course, now have even MORE in common... God, I can't believe it.

The pics I promised I would take yesterday:








What you think? I think I love my camera, but that's besides the point... my hair is hawwwwt.

Sooooo... here's ALL the Heath icons that I have made TOTAL:::

Tell me FIVE that you like. ;-) (by row and then number...)















it would figure that I would be missing ONE icon to make it even. ;-) LOL

Sooooooooooo... I'm tipsy... ;-) I made the world's best spaghetti tonight for dinner. :D Annnnd, I can't remember what I was going to say next. LOL

I hope you enjoyed my icon's. I think it's about time for me to try and head to bed.

Pic O' Tha Moment:::



Heath in NYC just makes me waaaant to move to NYC. After I went there the first time I really wanted to move there, it wasn't until I went to LA and saw the ocean for the first time that I really wanted to not move to NYC... I'm scared that when I go back to NYC this winter I'll want to move there... more and moreso because of Heath...

He made it beautiful.

--

I shared my Heath story with Rachel and she loved it. :D

xoxox

Klow Glow

Would You Want Me When I'm Not Myself

"Shut the fuck up, she said
I'm going fucking deaf, you're always too loud,
Everything's too loud..."

Well, thank you Kristi for joining my blog movement. :D Means a lot to me.

My step mom emailed me and basically said, "fuck your blog..." (Just not in so many words.) That's all I have to say about that.

Yesterday was interesting. I went to the library to print off something I need for a later date to do something else... (haha aloof much?!) Then I took a very long drive. It was very nice outside and I just blasted the radio and talked to Rae on txt/email. I loved it.

When I got home I found a Heath Ledger in my mailbox! YAY! Okay, okay... it wasn't Heath himself, ofc... but I did get my 3rd favorite Heath movie in the mail yesterday... the Brothers Grimm!

After I finish this blog I'm going to take a bath and then I'm going to watch the other movie I rented -- Divine Secrets Of The Ya Ya Sisterhood... I remember when it came out, but I can't for the life of me remember what it's about... mothers and daughter... great, should be fun...

Yesterday I also rented Batman Returns, which I remember seeing in the theaters and it scared the crap out of me. Its by far one of the best Batman's... I actually think that it's my 2nd favorite Batman, right behind the Dark Knight, of course.

(And if you're wondering, yes The Dark Knight is my favorite Ledger film. -- I have been O B sessed with Batman since I was a baby, so Batman and Heath Ledger together = the perfect film!! My 2nd favorite Heath Ledger film is Candy, which I adore but it's too expensive to buy at the moment.)

While I watch the film I'm going to take my time in straightening my hair and then I'm going to take new photos -- some for y'all, some for myspace and facebook. I haven't posted new ones in a long while and thought it would be nice to take some new photos that actually look like me. LOL

I had my first Cinnamelt from McDonalds last night -- those things are so good, and so bad for you too. *don't look at the box!*

Pic O Tha Day, O Tha Day!



OMG! It's not Heath!! LOL

Last night Justin performed at Fashion Rocks in NYC and he looked gooooooooooood. ;-)

I love the black on black on black and the shades? Oooh yes. XD

I loveees it. Good job, sweetie!

xoxox

Klow-ee

APPARENTLY, I've Got "Problems"

Again, whatever song comes on random, I will post here. Regardless if I've posted it before or not.

"It's sitting by the overcoat, the second shelf, the note she wrote
That I can't bring myself to throw away,
And also reach she said for no one else but you,
And you won't turn away, when someone else is gone...
I'm sorry 'bout the attitude I need to give when I'm with you, But no one else will take this shit from me..."

The last two lines there, in italic? That's Jenn and I all the way.

Today was an interesting day. I'll skip through the lame parts and get to the good stuff. We went to Chili's in Independence with Jenn's parents and her aunt from California. She hadn't seen her aunt since she was 7 or so and she also owns a home in Hawaii and said we're more than welcome at either of her homes any time we want... *starts to make plans for trip*

So let me paint this photo for you, I'm sitting across the table from Jenn's mom, her mom is sitting next to her dad and I'm sitting next to Jennifer -- her brother is waiting on us. ;-) Jenn says, "oh did you hear Lance is going to be on Dancing With The Stars?" and her mom says, "yes, I heard they might want to put him with a male dancer... I don't think that would be very family oriented." I clench my fists. "Well I think it would be cute." Jenn says unaware of her Mother being homophobic again. Her dad chimes in, "If they do he'll be the first person voted off."

Well, that's my cue to leave! I grab my purse and go to the bathroom to take a lil something on top of the martini that I had had earlier. I just don't understand...

On top of all that, Jenn's grandmother was talking about Sarah Palin and how she's "so pretty" and yadda yadda, whatever... I stopped listening when I realized what we were talking about.

Her family is nothing but a bunch of homophobes. I can't stand it. Just do me a favor -- if you have a problem with gays, or even a slight dis concern with them -- just kindly stay the fuck away from me, ehh?

By the time I got back to the table I felt much better and the gay talk was over. Jenn and I finished our salads and I managed to keep to myself the rest of the night.

Chili's is doing this great promotion right now where you can donate money to St. Jude's for cancer research and Jenn and I had donated some on Friday in the name of David Cook, who's brother Adam had brain cancer... today we donated even more and I got a dog tag necklace and Jenn got a key with St. Jude's on it.

On September 29th ALL the profits that Chili's makes that day they will donate to St. Jude's. ALL OF IT!! Go go go!! It's worth it and you're saving a life!!

So what I haven't told y'all, or at least posted pics of - is that I chopped off my hair! ;-) It's just above my shoulders and today I wore it curly. It looks seriously cute... (Jenn actually used the word "fierce".) I shall post new pics soon... I don't have any good ones worth sharing.

Tomorrow I am working with Damon, Jasmine's live in BF/baby daddy, to get his music myspace up and running, take new pics of him, and get some music out there. He's an aspiring rapper/singer and I figure if I help him, somewhere down the line, he can help me. I told him that Jennifer and I are starting our own studio and he's excited about it.

Here's a new poem...

He keeps me warm like wool,
As I stay wrapped up inside of him,
The red rim around his eyes cannot lie,
'I haven't slept in weeks,' it says,
'I can't tell what's up and down,'
It makes no difference, I try and tell him,
I just wish his feet were planted firmly on the ground,
I wonder where you are,
And how you feel inside,
I wonder what it's like now,
All that's left is just your pride,
I long to hold you and bring you home,
I long to kiss your firm pink lips,
I long to touch your amber skin,
And have your curls within my grisp,
If only for one second,
If only for a heartbeat,
I'd lie to make you mine,
It scares me to think of you all the time,
I'd die to keep you forever,
If only in my mind

I wonder if when people read poems/lyrics/anything I write if they think to themselves, "oh this is what it's like to be Chloe/Jodie Platz..."

I. hope. so.

What it's like to be me... a short essay:

I fear every knock on my door,
I wonder if this day, will be the day that I die,
I drink to forget what it's like to be sober,
I take pills to forget what it's like to be alive,
I cut myself when I think, "that's it,"
I talk shit because I don't know any better,
I type this because all I want is your attention,
I don't have your attention and it kills me, deep inside,
I tell you I don't eat because I want you to think I am strong,
I don't tell you when/what I eat because I see that as weak,
I make promises to myself, only the ones I intend to keep,
I travel to get away from my home, my life,
I don't see myself as fragile but wish others did,
I can't remember growing up; I can't remember being a kid

You know, that's actually the most honest I've been in a while. Here's five more facts about me:

1. I curse every other word, I just hide it from YOU, because I'm afraid of what you will think.
2. It doesn't matter if I've done drugs or had sex.
3. I've been abused.
4. I love Heath Ledger in a way that I literally cannot descibe. I've tried, I can't do it. Think I'm crazy, that's fine. I think I lost the love of my life before I even knew it. I love him in ways that I never thought loving Justin Timberlake would be possible... if that says anything... (*coughraeraecough*
5. I've stopped writing songs.

So there you have it... before I posted this blog I emailed the "friendly reminder" link to my Mama, Step Mom, Kristi and my Uncle Les. I am completely aware that this blog and the blogs previous to this one could permanately change my relationship with them. (Okay, not Kristi...) But you know what? If they don't love my skeletons... well we know the rest of that sentence don't we?

I made these... which do we like?



(I hope I hadn't posted any of those before...)

My favorite is the first one, only because I am IN LOVEEEE with that photo. Michelle is staring at Heath in such a way that you know he holds her heart, there's no denying it. I think she was the luckiest girl in the world, and she's spectacular -- he was the luckiest man in the world.

Pic O' Tha Day:



This pic... this pic... this pic... oh God... if I could only tell you how this pic made me feel...

Klow-ee

xoxox

Chloe, Now At A Reduced Price

Whatever song comes on random: I will use.

"I need you to hurry up now,
Cuz I can't wait much longer,
I know I've got to be right now,
Cuz I can't get much wronger..."

I'm closer to being done with my Heath icon desktop. I've been making icons like they're going out of styyyle. ;-)

I made some super cute ones too... here's a few to satisfy your appetite.



Which one do you like!?

So... *twiddles thumbs and tries to make conversation...* Britney is opening the VMAs. She actually looks hot this year though, so I hope she pulls this shit off. Good luck, B.

I need a relaxing bath, I do believe.

Well see, I made a list a few months back of all the things that I wanted to do before I turned 24, and then I lost the list... LOL Go Chloe.

Well, fuck it, I've looked ALL over for this stupid list and I can't find it, and some of the things I know were on it can't happen now, and some of them I've accomplished (Rachel... WOO!) So I'll just make a new list...

It's 87 days until my birthday.

Alright, I guess I'll make the list here (but you only get a few)... thought I was going to just make the list on paper like last time. ;-)

24 x 24

1. Have all the painting done/decorating done in my home.
2. Own every Heath Ledger movie available to buy in the US. (Had to put that in there because I don't know if I can find Two Hands)
3. Get my Heath tattoo.
4. Get a new dog.
5. Start projects I promised to start.
6. ENC
7. Start sketching/painting again.
8. Write more poetry/stories.
9. Take more photos.
10. Sleep more?
11. Lose at least 30lbs.
12. Drink tons of more water.

That's all you get. Half. I'll write the other half later, and hopefully remember to post them on here.

Well, it's taken me this long to write this much, so I'll see y'all tomorrow.

Pic Of The Day:



I admire him so much, he's so wise and wonderful.

xoxox

It's Raining.

"Oh, make me over
Im all I want to be
A walking study
In demonology

Hey, so glad you could make it
Yeah, now you really made it
Hey, so glad you could make it now"

Well, I talked to my mother. That's all I really have to say about that... As for Chloe -- she's still here. I still don't have the nerves to tell my parents about my name change, hopefully they'll just read this. LOL Like I said when I adopted the name Chloe, I don't know if this will be a permanent change, but for right now, this is fine for my life.

I wish my Heath things would come in the mail... I am expecting a Ned Kelly poster and the Brothers Grimm DVD. I haven't watched 10 Things I Hate About You or The Four Feathers since I got them... last night I turned on the TV and the end of A Knights Tale was on. It made me giddy.

Friday and Saturday Jennifer and I went down to the Sprint Center to meet the Idols. We were pleasantly surprised with how nice some of them were... We got pics and autographs and had a great time. I loved it.

On Saturday I got my hair cut. It's adorable and short. It's not as short as I wanted it, or thought it would be, but I really like it. :-) I'm going to go blond, blond again soon. I think it'll still take me two boxes however because my hair just won't stop being thick!

I really want mashed potatoes.

It's getting nicer outside, fall is imminent. It rained today and I have the window open. It's really nice outside. I love fall and I can't wait for it to be full on. I am nervous about putting my carved pumpkin out on the porch though... I don't want anything to happen to it.

I'm extremely excited for the holidays this season. Here's what I've been thinking thus far:

Halloween - carve pumpkin, and we're going to a costume party.
Thanksgiving - I think we decided we want to have my Dad and step mom over for dinner... I'm not sure if they'll actually go for it.
Birthday!!! WOO! I'm not sharing my plans. ;-)
Christmas - Fuck, we can't decide.
NYE - 9 years! Believe it! I think we're going to try and hit up a party downtown.
Jenn's bday - NEW. YORK. CITY. i can't wait!

Alright, I'm talking to three people on three different methods so la... I guess I'll wrap this up.

Pic o tha Day:::



Mah luverrrr...

His facial expresions are completely priceless. I got some seriously amazing Heath pics last night. I also found a few other people that have some Heath tattoos, and I found one that this person had that I'm completely envious of... I keep telling myself not to steal her idea but it was fabulous.

His hair looks cute here, the scrunch in his nose... his lips... I love it all. He's perfect. :-)

xoxox

Tick, Tick, Tick...

"some say it wasn't worth the things we went through,
I say it aint worth losing you,
I hope you know how much you've changed all our lives,
Someday you'll see,
If only through Heaven's eyes..."

I'm 80% sure I've already used that lyric... Oh well.

I can't breathe,
Your eyes make me lose my mind,
I can't see, I don't want to,
You vibe has just made me blind,
I feel weak, incomplete and completely out of control,
It scares me to think that you've shook me,
Down to the depths of my soul,
I can hear your words, I always listen and I can even feel your skin,
My favorite parts of you call me, like the webs of you within,
I could spread myself all over you and make it seem like it was never enough,
And I won't say I'm lucky to have found you,
Because there's no luck in love.