FYI

To address the insane rumors that Tina Raber is trying to start I would like to start off by saying that I do not have any affiliation with Justin Timberlake, nor have I ever. This character, Tina Raber, is trying to ruin and destroy me by any means, including fabricating vicious lies.

I had tried to maintain a friendship with Tina Raber over the past 5 years and over those 5 years she's done nothing but betray me, go behind my back and spread lies. She's a compulsive liar and story teller.

It is her main goal to destroy me and will do so by any means.

Tina knows that I am a huge supporter of Justin Timberlake and so she's trying to start Internet and word of mouth rumors that are completely fabricated.

I have met Justin Timberlake several times but have never spent any one on one time with him, so there is no truth to the stories that Tina Raber is trying to sell.

Please keep your distance from Tina Raber, she's tried to ruin many people before and my friends and I will not be the last. When Tina Raber doesn't get her way she will set out to destroy you. I tried to just be there for her, save her and be her friend, this should be a fair warning that no good deed goes unpunished.

I would like to deeply apologize to Justin Timberlake and his management if Tina Raber has caused any kind of commotion. In the 5 years I've known her she's more often than not seemed mentally unstable to me and although it hurts me that she's tried to create these lies to get attention from you, I can't say that I'm completely surprised.

For the record I would also like to say that I strongly respect Justin Timberlake and would never do anything to hurt him or disturb him in any way. I am just a fan, and in that I know my place.

I am sorry if Tina Raber has hurt you or caused you any kind of stress or annoyance.

Thank you,

Jodie Platz

If You Play With Fire Then You'll Get Burned

"All I can say is that my life is pretty plain,
I like watching the puddles gathering..."

Last night I had Chinese and as I was sitting with Jennifer waiting for the delievery, I started feeling very weak and tired. The food finally got here, I ate half to save the other half for today, and then I basically passed out. LOL

I felt bad because I was going to stay up and chat with Rae and Gemma, and I was supposed to text Jenn while she was at work but my body just couldn't take it anymore and gave out. I told Rae that I was just gonna nap for a little while but I ended up sleeping until 1045a.

Today I started taking even more pills. I was taking my anti-depressant and my Bayberry, now I'm adding B Complex, Iron and one more thing. Oh, and my Mama told me to also take my Prenatal vitamin... *sigh* I'll start that one tomorrow.

I still feel very weak, very tired, drained. I have to start McD tonight at 9 tonight, it's Sunday so it shouldn't be too bad and I could always drink all the Red Bulls. ;-)

I called my Daddy and asked him if we could all spend the weekend there. It's a go. So yay!! Then of course I had to call my Mama and ask if I could get the camera earlier since we'll be leaving KC about 2 instead of Saturday at 10a.

Well I reckon this blog is about done. I still feel super weak, I'm gonna lay down.

Pic O' Tha Day:



Pic O' Tha Yesterday:



xoxox

The Things I've Done Are Way Too Shameful...

"Don't want you back cuz you're no good for me,
I know, that's all I can say,
Don't want you back, forgive my honesty,
But you gotta go, I don't want you back"

*edit* I edited my profile... check it out for a lil surprise.

Knowing that you read it, does it make me feel better or worse? I'm not sure, but your comment was Heaven to me... but not ALL of my friends are stupid. ;-)

I've had an eventful 24 hours! First of all, I've been doing good on taking my anti-depressants, I can't really tell if they're working yet, I mean, I haven't had any real dramatic mood swings, and I haven't killed myself, so... so far so good! LOL

I got new movies... Knocked Up and Shrek the Third. I love Knocked Up -- I love the banter between Seth and all his friends. He's amazing. I wanna bone him so bad. This morning I got the DaVinci Code (which I've wanted to see since it came out. LOL) and Mr. Woodcock, reccomended by Gemma.

So last night, I didn't go to sleep because I had the car and I had to go pick up Jennifer at 6a. So I watched Knocked Up, blogged for-evar, talked on the phone for nearly 3 hours, which is very rare for me. One hour with my Mama and Pam, Hour and a half with Heather and... well... yeah. After all that before I went to get Jennifer I caught up with my lover, Gordon Ramsay... I seriously wish he wasn't attached. I would do nasty things to that man.

So then I get ready to get Jenn and I head downstairs... I get two steps outside and there's a neatly folded dollar bill laying on the ground!! YAY! What a great way to start your day!! At 5a a new dollar helps!! Especially when we only have a few to last us until Wednesday, it was literally a blessing that I found it. I text 3 people about it, but no one really seemed to care.

So I get to McD and I have my "interview", which was really more like, "paperwork". LOL He literally asked me 2 questions. "You remember these registers?" and "can you start Sunday?"

We get home and my horoscope says:

Little things go your way today and they may add up to a better mood by the time this evening rolls in. You may find a few bucks tucked inside something you'd forgotten about or hear from an old flame.

Well, both of that happened today. :-) Also, Jennifer got her stimulus check in the mail, $600 -- which she wasn't even supposed to get... So we're fucking happy about that. I think we know what we're getting. We're buying our plane tickets to Vegas, our passes to Worlds/Oceans of Fun and I might get contacts. We have lots of things we need right now, but at least this will help with it. It was truly a blessing.

So this morning while I was driving to get Jennifer I had an idea for a new project. I'm going to start writing my screenplay. Again. Well, I've started 2 of them, but this one I'm actually going to make into a low budget movie. I'm going to buy a camera and actually make a movie. I hope to start shooting in about a year. (Which means 2.) I don't want anything to really come out of this, I'm not looking to go to Cannes, or Sundance, you know? I'm just making this for me, really. Kind of like a project to keep my mind busy. I need that sort of thing.

Also, I can't remember if I told y'all... I'm sure I did. About Heather's wedding? I'm the photographer for Heather's wedding on the 14th (which is also the same day Dave is getting married...) So anyhow, I don't think I mentioned this yet because I didn't want to jinx it, but my Mama is letting my use her [very expensive] camera for the wedding! YAY!!!! Heather is going to have the best photos ever. I'm so happy.

My Mama mentioned that this could be like a part time job for me. I'm thinking with Heather's photos I can put together a portfolio, and then maybe I can get other wedding photography jobs. I want to buy a camera like my Mama's. I've wanted to for a while. I don't need the top notch model that she has, but the one I want is like $800.

I am starting to think more and more that I am like my Mama is a good way. She's everything, a massage therapist, CAD tech, photographer, etc... I mean, she's been to school SEVERAL times, and still I'm not sure if she knows what she wants to do. So it doesn't make me feel too bad when I want to be a singer, photographer, writer, etc...

I think I have a good eye for photography. I take some pretty good photos, nothing like my Mama, but I think I can get much better.

Alright, I reckon that's all. There Gemma! Sorry it took so long.

Pic of the Day:

won't load.

xoxox

Legends Are A Way Of Understanding Things Greater Than Ourselves

"Take it personal, cuz I did when you cheated on me,
You may be beautiful but there's more that they eye can't see
You're so predictable, the way you calculate each move
Heads I win, tails you lose, because you don't have the right to choose..."

That one... ^^ is for Rachel. ;-)

Well it's been a minute since I've blogged, and I sat here for a good ten trying to figure out how to start it, so I reckon I'll just start.

:-)

I'm taking St. John's Wort now for my depression and although I don't know if it's working just yet but at least I'm trying it. Also I'm taking Bayberry for my... ugh... other problem.

Tomorrow I have an interview bright and early with Jenn's other McD. I already know that I got the job... I'll be on overnights for the month of June and then I'll be working an actual 40 hours a week on days... 5-1 or something like that. I'm not too fond of the 5a, but having my nights back will be awesome. Then I won't have to plan 2 weeks ahead to see if I want to do something with someone, you know? If I want to go out then I can... of course I'll only have Wednesday's and Thursday's off so if I wanna get drunk it can only be Tues and Wed unless I wanna go hungover, which... no one likes...

But!!! At least I'll be able to GO. I could totally just go to a club on Friday and drink Red Bull... which, speaking of Red Bull... I can have for FREE at my new McD.

I've been watching an OBSCENE amount of movies lately... lets see if I can remember them all.

Ghost Rider, Oceans 13, Mr. Brooks, Good Luck Chuck, Untraceable, Hottie and The Nottie, The Orphanage (which we didn't watch because it was in Spanish.) August Rush, National Treasure, Mad Money, Over Her Dead Body, 27 Dresses, and One Missed Call.

We've been getting a crazy amount of those Red Box coupons. We LOVEEEE Red Box. I'm getting a couple more tonight.

Damnit, I was gonna say something and I completely forgot how I was gonna word it. I was gonna say something about best friends... Can't remember how I was gonna tho. I was gonna say something to the effect of:

It's really easy to be my "best" friend. I tend to think of my "best" friends as the ones who:

1) take the most time to get to know ME.
2) Spend the most time with me--person, email, take time to text
3) try to UNDERSTAND me.

There's a big difference between knowing me and understanding me. Jennifer is pretty good at both, but she knows me a lot better than she understands me. Everyone thinks that I'm easy to figure out, that I'm easy to understand. But you want honesty? I'm not even sure that I really understand me.

To know me is to know my life story - to know the things that I have been through and all that. To understand me is to know what makes me tick, to know the things that will make me sad, happy, etc.

So... that's what makes YOU a best friend. You see? The "numbers" of my best friends change, nearly daily. Always Jenn has the number one spot -- she's known me the longest, knows EVERYTHING there is to know about me and understands me the most... Sorry, but you'll never pass Jennifer. Some people have tried and a lot of people have told me to let go of Jennifer - that she's bad for me, but really that just pushes you farther away from me. You see?

I mean, I really try not to "rank" my friends, because they're all important to me, but sometimes I've felt that some of my friends are upset because they're not of higher rank. Trust me, if you're my friend -- you're important to me.

I'll stop while I'm ahead... but you can imagine why my friends... let's say flux with everyday. I could spend a tremendous amount of time with Sally one day and we have deep, deep conversations -- the kind where afterwards your friendships never the same... and not speak to Karen for days... then obviously Sally's going to potentially "rank" higher. But then afterwards I might not speak to Sally for days and Karen and I talk everyday for a week... You see kinda what I'm saying?

I feel like I'm digging myself a grave, and yet I don't want to erase this because it's how I feel. Another thing is --- just because you are ranked 3rd or 4th on my list of "best friends" (which, lets be honest, it's not something I spend a whole lot of time thinking about and there's no, ACTUAL list.) doesn't really MEAN anything. You're still my best friend. I still love and care for you, if you need me I'm going to be there for you. So being my best friend... la la la...

Moving on...

SO, He told me to "get over" him. As he finished his sentence I got this awful flashback, which was actually kind of cool at the same time. He said there was a time for us to "end" and I asked, "why now?" He said he didn't pick it... it's just the right time.

(I've been writing this blog for 2 hours. I'm very distracted.)

So... actually we came to a little agreement, which I refuse to discuss with ANYONE at the moment. Eventually I will, but I am not right now.

If you love something, let it go, if it comes back to you - it was yours, if it doesn't, you'll never know.

Pic o' tha Day:






maybe it would be different if you had something like a J-O-B

xoxox

Pink.

Things that are important to Jodie Platz:

Music and the ability to listen to it at free will.

Being blonde and all the rights that come along with it.

Makeup.

All of my limbs, ability to see, taste, hear, smell, sing...

Traveling to new places, and old ones.

Bella.

Movies... the good and the bad.

The way the wind feels on my hand when it hangs out of the car.

Justin - in ways that absolutely NO ONE on this planet can comprehend, and I've refused to further explain any more than that...

To come from Wamego and actually get out of it.

Heather, to have kept her for 16 years.

Jennifer, who knows me better than anyone and to have kept a best friend for 8 years.

Gemma, who I feel more in touch with than anyone I've ever met and we're literally oceans apart.

Photos -- I live my life through them. Behind and in front of the lens.

Liars, cheaters and backstabbers - they allow me to realize who really loves me.

Tattoos, like pieces of flair.

My Mama, my twin.

My Daddy - no one makes me feel more innocent.

Pam, Step Mom - It's amazing how someone who isn't blood can love you so much.

Comments and photo comments, messages on MySpace. I feel that it's LOVE that you took time to think of me and tell me about it.


I'm sure there's a million things that are important to me. I was just bored so I thought I would try and name some of them for people who don't really know me.

xoxox

I'm Sorry?

:::Music is what feelings sound like:::

I thought I was done blogging, but then all the sudden I got very down and depressed. A lot has been upside down lately, and although my life is changing for the better, the first steps of the process haven't really taken effect yet... therefore, Jodie still down.

I have anti-depressents at home, now why on earth have I not taken them?

Its a little crazy to me that one second I can be laughing and playing with Gemma and the next second I'm just so unbelievably depressed I feel nearly moved to tears.

I know at times I'm a bit crazy, and I usually try and keep that to myself but lately it's just seemed to tear me apart.

Perhaps I'm dotting around the actual point here -- I feel betrayed. Absolutely. Matter-of-factly. Never gonna forget it, make you wanna regret it -- betrayed.

It's not one of my favorite feelings in the world, as I've felt it many times, and at times by more than one person, and at times multiple times from one person -- but no matter what it is, I feel it. Again.

I thought that feeling it would be over -- at least for a while, but now here I am, feeling it.

I try to put my mind to rest, thinking that this person is a good human and that I have done ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong to them and that there is no reason for me to be feeling this way, but no matter --- here I am.

Maybe I'm over everything and everyone. That seems to be the most simple thing in the world. To give up on everyone but those you trust with every inch of your soul, that you would literally trust with your life... I guess there's no safer way to live.

Not that I've always lived the safe way, but when it comes to me and my heart, I reckon that I should keep those things away from harm.

G 3

"Your hungry cuz you starve
While hiding back the tears
Choking on your smile
The fake behind the fear,
The queerest of the queer..."

I had quite the eventful day today.

I did nothing... let's see... I took some very random photos of myself, took some lame pics of Jennifer sleeping... now I'm here again and chatting with Gemma. Yes, I do think the night shall be looking up.

Tomorrow I will have a busy day... Have to be somewhere at 8a, then we're taking Jenn's car back to her parents at like 11a to like, try to fix it or something... I don't know... then I can't remember what we're doing. I really can never remember what we're doing.

This blog sucks... I'm too distracted.

Pics:



Playing with the effects on my cam...







Which is your favorite??

xoxox